"Under the Immigration Act of 1864, ethnic quotas were also contemplated in an attempt to replicate the English, Welsh, Scottish and Irish proportions of the United Kingdom locally. This was primarily to counter the size of the Catholic Irish element and ensure a continuing Protestant hegemony in colonial affairs. Irish migration peaked at 38 per cent in 1862 and remained intermittently high thereafter as migration agents fell back upon members of the Irish peasantry for recruits when other British sources failed. An Irish Immigration Society, sponsored by Brisbane's autocratic Catholic Bishop, James Quinn, alone introduced almost 9000 adults in the early 1860s before beginning to founder after the 'crazy, leaky old' Erin Go-Bragh took a record seven months to reach its destination, twice the average for such voyages. Herbert, returning to London in 1866, finally put a stop to the whole Catholic-sponsored immigration project. Yet, despite contrary endeavours, the Irish remained disproportionately represented in comparison to their shrinking size in the United Kingdom. Overall, they composed 28 per cent of the migration quota but only 11 per cent of the British population, making Queensland by Federation the 'most Catholic' of all the Australian states. Sectarian tensions were often manifested and the colonial Irish habitually maligned as inferior. They were, wrote a former newspaper editor, an 'amusing but often revolting' people, 'turbulent...illogical...and mendacious' in contrast to the 'self-reliant, tenacious...and truthful' English. Irish wage labourers tended to be among the last hired and the first retrenched in times of economic downturn, leading to bitter complaint. As one versifier exclaimed in 1870:

By jabers! I wish I had Jordan
Tied fast round the neck to a tree.
For sowing such bunkum in Ireland
I'd make him dance capers for me.

Flashpoints for conflict occurred around local charges of Fenian plotting in 1865-66, and then more fulsomely after the attempted assassination of Prince Alfred by a deranged Irishman in Sydney in 1868. Violence flared in clashes between Orangemen and Catholics, and in further rioting over educational reform in 1864-65, electioneering disturbances (inluding a serious shooting affray at Warwick in 1871) and other manifestations of 'the fell spirit of sectarian rancour', such as a savage clash between Catholics and Methodists at Ipswich in 1874, where the Riot Act was read. Publications such as Frederick Brentnall's Queensland Evangelical Standard and Thadeus O'Kane's Northern Miner, regarded as the liveliest newspapers in Brisbane and North Queensland respectively, kept anti-Irish and anti-Catholic sentiment alive into the 1880s."

Government Announces "Grocery Watch" Replacement

Mr Ebeneezer Scrooge will be the webmaster for www.bastardwatch.gov.au

"This city desert makes you feel so cold
It's got so many people but it's got no soul
And it's taken you so long to find out you were wrong
When you thought it held everything."

'Baker Street', Gerry Rafferty [1978]

In response to unprecedented and overwhelming community concern over the Federal Government's scrapping of the "Grocery Watch" website, the Minister for Many Things Including Representing the Interests of Multinational Corporations And Screwing The Little Guy has established a more substantial all encompassing website to assist Australians in their daily lives.

The website - www.bastardwatch.gov.au - will help Australians think for themselves and identify when they're getting screwed.

The Minister said www.bastardwatch.gov.au would have pages covering all manner of bastardry and will be interactive and regularly updated by webmaster Mr Ebeneezer Scrooge.

"Say you go to the supermarket to buy a tin of soup and it costs five dollars but there is nowhere else to go to buy soup, well that would go on the "Duopoly Supermarket Screw You" Page along with five star rating," he said.

"This website is all about the litte guy."

Other pages on the website include: "Why Petrol Always Costs The Same Amount Wherever You Go", "How A $1 Airfare Can Actually End Up Costing You $100", "Why Is The Government doing what the IMF and the World Bank want, when these institutions have been discredited around the world?", "If free market ideology rules, why are our tax tollars being used to bail out car companies and subsidise coal mines?", "How Crook Are All Those News Stories About House Prices Going Up", "How do I know what's really going on? Clue: PR is in the Newspapers, propaganda is on the national broadcaster, and the genuine news isn't" etc.

The launch of www.bastardwatch.gov.au will be accompanied by bullshit feelgood advertisements featuring images of individuals, families, workers and small business people putting on their best News Ltd. and commercial television expressions. It is understood the government is in negotiations with Guy Sebastian, who will lead the newly formed Duopoly Supermarket Choir in the www.bastardwatch.gov.au theme song:

Bastard watch oh bastard watch
Helping you get on,
Sorting out the fuckwits
And anyone who's wrong

Bastard watch oh bastard watch
Now you'll know for sure,
Who is really screwing you
Just click here for more...

Liveability In Brisbane Takes An Authoritarian Turn

Tourists must scratch their heads on encountering signs such as this one

ABC online reports on Brisbane City Council's new Health, Safety and Amenity Local Law, which includes hefty fines for a range of new offences.

Oh goody goody gum drops, that should improve amenity around the city!

Forget how the past ten years of endless construction, road works, the push for car centricity and the demolition of heritage buildings to make way for hideous post modern architectural monstrosities, have transformed Brisbane into Australia's ugliest capital city.

A liveable city depends on you and is your responsibility.

And don't bother expressing your individuality with street art, or wheeling your groceries home from the supermarket in a trolley - get a car you loser.

You can be creative as long as you are engaging in PR for a corporation (such as yesterday's laughing in the Queen Street Mall stunt) or on Council's terms, as this media release [25/6/09] suggests:

"A team of 'green thumbs', a crew of engineers and 77 young musos are just three of the groups ready to pick up pencils for Brisbane 150's Big City Draw, to be launched this Saturday 27 June at 11am. Brisbane City Council will provide free canvases and crayons for everyone to enjoy the city's largest free drawing and music event from 11am to 2pm daily in the Queen Street Mall from 27 June to 12 July. Families and Community Services Chair Geraldine Knapp said the school holiday event was designed to celebrate Brisbane's 150th anniversary as a municipality by tapping into our creativity as a community...

Families and Community Services Chair Geraldine Knapp will officially open the event at 11am 2. Cr Knapp will invite special guests artist Ian Fairweather and fellow seniors from Magdalena Retirement Village in Bardon to unveil their completed banner for the Big City Draw Entertainment."

Ian Fairweather?

There are few remaining nice bits of the Brisbane CBD available for its citizens to enjoy, such as City Hall and the Botanic Gardens, but for how much longer when all the world is a free market and public amenity is a liability rather than an asset?

Take this obscenely large, Orwellian "Dont Walk Walk" sign.

Evidently Council strategically placed it at the exit of the Queen Street Bus Station so that we poor, stupid pedestrians who catch public transport get the message.

Interestingly, early last year the sign said:

"BCC is working hard to ensure the safety of everyone who walks in the CBD with current initiatives such as installing extra mid block crossings, lobbying for lower speed limits around the city centre and improving pedestrian access around building sites. But pedestrian safety is everyone's responsibility, so if you're walking cycling or driving, please be careful."

Now it says:

"Too many people in the CBD have been knocked down crossing the street. Please cross at the lights with the green man."

Unfortunately, walking around Brisbane's CBD is still treacherous because of construction, speeding cars and short phases on the traffic signals.

Designated crossings - such as the intersection between Turbot and Albert Streets - are the most deadly. And regardless of the "walk" signs, most pedestrians find it safer to cross elsewhere, or before and after the green man.

Obeying Council's "tough" liveability laws is not going to make Brisbane liveable.

ll

From the June 2009 edition of 'New Internationalist'

Hey Minister Garrett, While You're Saving The Whales, How About Saving Some Other Species Too?

North Pine Lungfish Kill Damns Government Pledge

Save The Mary River Media Release [25/6/09]

Yesterday's lungfish kill below North Pine Dam is a damning indictment of the state government's conservation record on this iconic and vulnerable species. Following the release of water from the North Pine Dam, more than forty dead and dying lungfish were found in just one short stretch of riverbank below the dam wall. It is not known how many more dead would be found washed further downstream.

According to Save the Mary River Co-ordinating Group Secretary, David Kreutz who made the grim discovery yesterday, "the lungfish were up to 1.5 metres in length and were either already dead or very near to death and displayed absolutely horrific injuries." Mr Kreutz said that although the incident was reported to authorities there had been no rescue or investigative effort mounted on the day the discovery was reported.

"This should be a national outrage. Statements from the government yesterday of 'up to 100 native fish went with the release, including around 12 lungfish', are a gross understatement of the facts. It makes an absolute mockery of the state government's pledge that it can mitigate the effect that dams have on this ancient fish. Going on these North Pine Dam fish kills, there'll be absolute mayhem for lungfish when the Burnett River's Paradise Dam eventually overflows, with its far worse "stepped" spillway."

"To then lumber the Mary River with a Traveston Dam lungfish and turtle killing device would be just the last straw for this species,"Mr Kreutz said. " This is a fish that is absolutely unique to just a couple of rivers in Queensland, but our state government seems to act like there's plenty more where they came from."

He added that as well as dead lungfish, there were hundreds of bass, yellowbelly and catfish damaged from the spillway fall or stranded in the pools that will dry up in the next few days. "This is the third such event resulting directly from the operation of North Pine Dam in recent months, but it is the first that we have been able to get our own independent documentary evidence."

"When is this government going face up to the fact that shallow media spin will do nothing to ensure survival for the lungfish?" said Save the Mary River Coordinating group President, Glenda Pickersgill.

"Yesterday's tragedy graphically demonstrates what going over a dam wall does to this globally significant threatened species"

What really floored us was the delayed response from the Queensland government, with no effort made to salvage any survivors." Ms Pickersgill said.

Dam opponents are following the upcoming legal challenge to the Paradise Dam which will be heard in the Federal Court in September.

The case, mounted by the Wide Bay Burnett Conservation Council and a coalition of Environment groups is significant because aspects of the Paradise Dam fishway are proposed as the model for the fishway on the controversial Traveston Crossing Dam, which has yet to gain either state or federal environmental approvals.

"There could scarcely be a more poignant way to drive the message home to the state government, "Dams kill lungfish. Stop wasting our money and scrap the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam", Ms Pickersgill said.

www.savethemaryriver.com

(Lungfish were introduced into a number of rivers in south-east Queensland in 1896 in an effort to secure the species' long term survival. It appears that only the populations in Pine and Brisbane rivers have endured. They are believed to live to around 100 years of age and the size of the ones killed today suggests they were quite old.)

You're A Consumer And A Client. Did You Think You Were A Citizen????

If The ABC And Corporate Media Keep Reworking The "Green Shoots", "Consumer Confidence" Theme, We'll Keep Wheeling Out The Same Bullshit Parodies!

World Parties: Recession Over

If I had some shoes I'd do the Charlston! Nevermind kids, from now on it'll be KFC rather than GFC for us!

"Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So let's sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again"

'Happy Days Are Here Again', Milton Ager and Jack Yellen [1929]

With our chief bullshitter in New York, Con Artiste*

Stocks are surging, home sales are upbeat, Chinese data points to economic recovery and "hopes are up for trousers down with the hostess on the business flight".

The Dow Jones Industrial Average, blue-chip index, Nasdaq, Standard & Poors and S & P index are things you probably don't understand.

"The market is rallying and we've seen the bottom of home sales," said Barry Spiv from Independent Business Newsletter 'Trust, Me & Associates'.

"The recovery appears to be V-shaped," said Hank Goldenwatch from 'I'm Just Gonna Squeeze The Last Little Bit Of Your Super - Investment Services Group'.

A number of important financial institutions such as Yank Bank have all rallied after denying reports indicating they were in difficulty.

Key stocks forming the backbone of the Military Industrial Complex have also reacted positively, while Bonds - and my willy - have firmed.

The message is loud and clear. The recession is over, there's never been a better time to buy, get a loan and then get another loan, buy as many Bris-Connections units as you can afford and party like it's 1999. Confidence is all we need because the fundamentals are sound.

* Con Artiste is Chief PR man for the Hedge Fund Vested Interests Group.

A Snake Eating Its Own Tail

Comment by "Danm" on James Howard Kunstler's latest piece - 'A Snake Eating Its Own Tail':

"You want to get a good idea of how the environmental and financial issues are going to get us ultimately, just look at what is happening on the islands: Iceland, Australia...

I just read the latest National Geographic article on Australia and it's quite frightening. It is exactly what Jared Diamond was predicting in Collapse.

The farmers are blaming government and fighting for the right for water, yet most don't seem to get the big picture. They don't seem to realize that many of their crops should not even exist in their type of environment.

It really looks like they have completely destroyed their ecosystem and now they are starting to fight for the scraps. Of course they will keep on supporting the biggest destroyers and polluters as well as the least productive crops in order to keep on getting their currency for their imports.

After reading this, I can now imagine exactly what happened on Easter Island."

Comment by "stevo_au":

"DANM - A very astute synopsis of what is occuring in Australia. We too lack any politicians with the guts to tell the truth or do the right thing.

There is a conference on at the moment sponsored by the Australian Farmers Federation. They are concerned about world famine.

One of their ideas is to use bio-degradable polymer to keep the moisture in the soil - I kid you not. Peak Oil is not even on their horizon."

And David Mathews:

"...While it is good to spend time warning people about what's coming everyone must realize that the vast majority of people live within the delusion and they aren't going to leave that delusion voluntarily because reality is harsh, unpleasant and very unfavorable to their future plans.

So I'll spend my time with the animals and flowers instead:

http://www.flickr.com/dmathew1

Humankind is a lost cause."

Big Surf Burleigh Heads [23/6/09]

An Osprey over Tallebudgera Creek 23/6/09

Senator Christine Milne at the National Press Club

http://greensmps.org.au/content/tv/christine-milne-national-press-club

Horror City Hall Budget 09/10?

A 'Spring Hill Voice' reader writes:

"In April 2007 Standard&Poors issued a ratings downgrade on BCC because of their concerns about the city's net debt to revenue ratio.

Last Thursday Campbell Newman delivered on Standard&Poor's worst fears with massive increases in gross debt and net debt per capita. The real concern, and it was Standard&Poor's, is the nose-bleeding escalation in City Hall's net debt/revenue ratio. Blowing out from just under five percent up to 37.76%!!! --- to cover Council's liabilities for the TransApex scheme.

Rather than be a responsible fiscal manager, Newman waited to the last moment and threw the total liability onto the city's credit card. A liability he has always known was due 09-10 fiscal year.

BCC City Budget 2009-2010

Net Debt Per Capita 08/09 $92 09/10 $794 increase 763%

Net Debt/Revenue Ratio 08/09 4.85% 09/10 37.76% increase 678%

Debt Servicing Ratio 08/09 1.08% 09/10 2.17% more than a doubling of revenue now spent on debt repayments

In just one year, in just one budget Newman has slugged each ratepayer a debt increase of $702, up off just $92 per person. Plus created a doubling of the share of Council's revenue demanded for debt repayments -- at a time when City Council needs even available cent to meet demands of a burgeoning population Newman is choosing more debt and therefore more repayments.

With this horror City Hall budget what's in-store for Brisbane city?"

Here at the 'Spring Hill Voice', we wonder where the $123 million that comprises the "City of Brisbane Investment Scheme" is being invested for 12 months with a raising of $3 million of interest (as reported by Fairfax)?

Your local Credit Union could do a better deal than that!

Nevermind. Do you keep forgetting important birthdays? Lord Newman has the perfect solution - simply sign them up for an e-birthday card:

http://www.campbellnewman.com.au/message-form.html

Now that's what I call good governance!

"We Are Closer Related To Chimpanzees Than Chimpanzees Are To Gorillas"

Prometheus stole fire from heaven and gave human mortals some of the power of the gods.

Associate Professor Thomas Suddendorf presented a fascinating lecture about the evolution of the human mind at Brisbane's City Hall last night [22/609].

Professor Suddendorf began his presentation by screening Ernest Cline's 'Dance Monkey Dance', before discussing recent research on selected cognitive abilities in apes, and how the results of this research assist in studying the evolution of the human mind.

His lecture offered some unique philosophical perspectives on language, ecological dominance and human foresight.

Did you know there are only 13 Hainan Gibbons remaining on the planet?

http://www.physics.uq.edu.au/brisscience/

http://www.janegoodall.org.au/

Broadbeach Merry-Go-Round Saga Symbolises How MEAN Our Society Has Become

The 100 year old Broadbeach Merry-Go-Round in the Broadbeach Mall.

Since October last year the Broadbeach Merry-Go-Round has been closed - apparently it wasn't turning a profit.

The Gold Coast monomedia has reported that it will be removed as part of the Broadbeach Mall revitalisation.

Last week Councillor Sarorff said the Merry-Go-Round would require $300,000 in restoration and repair work, but it looked alright to me.

The Merry-Go-Round was donated by Niecon and has taken pride of place in the Broadbeach Mall over the last couple of decades.

One wonders why folks are being so stingy about this? Surely the companies building flashy new residential towers in Broadbeach area could pitch in to get the Merry-Go-Round going again, and let the youngsters have free rides?

On a mercantile level, do they not see the benefit in having an attraction such as the Merry-Go-Round in the Broadbeach Mall?

To see a Merry-Go-Round fenced off and shut down is just MEAN.

Mt Tamborine Scarecrow Festival [21/6/09]

Witches Falls on Mt Tamborine was declared Queensland's first national park in 1908.

Judith Wright and Jack McKinney lived on Mt Tamborine with their daughter Meredith.

From Judith Wright's memoir 'Half A Lifetime' [1999]

"In January 1946, Jack packed his few belongings, put his books and manuscripts on the little transport truck to Tamborine and set off on his bike for the mountain. Though the cottage had not yet been transferred to my name - and we were anxious in case a much higher bid came in - it really seemed that we had at last a place to live and work...

We were lucky in living where we did. Tamborine was still a secluded place, invaded only by occasional tourist buses. The majority of our Tamborine acquaintances were apolitical, being mostly small farmers and tradesmen. There was still no invasion of weekenders, no golf course, no 'tourist attractions' beyond the lovely remnant rainforest national parks. Jack and I were so obviously poor, living in three rooms and on a scrap of land too small to be described as a hobby farm, that we were seen as harmless lunatics, writers who survived by a miracle. For the time being we could live in peace and work as we pleased."

Witches Falls walking track and Jack McKinney and Judith Wright's headstone at the Mt Tamborine cemetery.

The Battle In Seattle

From 'Networking Futures: The Movements Against Corporate Globalization' by Jeffrey S. Juris [2008]:

"Everything appeared calm throughout the morning, and we even chatted with police officers stationed directly behind us. Little did we know the first tear gas canisters had already been fired at protesters around 10.00 a.m. Those first groups held their ground, but the city would soon be engulfed in a major police riot. After a while we caught our first whiff of tear gas floating with the shifting winds from the other end of the convention centre. As the tension began to mount, we soon saw our first "Black Bloc" contingent. Dressed in black, gas masks buckled to their waists, wearing hoods and bandannas to cover their faces, they moved swiftly and purposefully, darting in and out of a stunned group of dancing turtles. That afternoon they began smashing the windows at major corporate outlets in downtown Seattle: Nike, Starbucks, the Gap, and Bank of America...

Rumors had already begun circulating that the WTO ministerial had been canceled; the excitement was mounting. After reloading on coffee, we walked through the streets on the other side of the conference center, back down toward the pier. At one intersection, protesters had set up a makeshift stage with speakers blaring music and periodic speeches and spoken word performances... We had slipped into a time out of time, a moment when the prevailing order had been overturned, creating what the anarchist writer Hakim Bey (1991) calls a "temporary autonomous zone." This was highly charged carnival indeed...

It turns out we were in the midst of a two-hour hiatus when the police had run out of tear gas and pepper spray. But they soon refueled and initiated another round of indiscriminate assaults. Shortly before 4.00 p.m., we walked over to the next corner and witnessed riot cops launching tear gas canisters into the middle of an affinity group blockading an intersection. They soon began shooting pepper spray at protester's faces and lobbing tear gas canisters into the crowd...

Over the next few weeks the WTO would become a household name, and globalization the center of an intense public debate. Although the protests continued for several more days, including continued mass arrest and jail solidarity actions, my friends and I headed back to San Francisco the next morning."

State Of Origin Should Be Held Every Night Of The Year To Cut Crime: Report

Villians .. State of Origin connection

Hopes are up for a trousers down with the hostess on the business flight when the State of Origin is being played, according to a report from the Mono Media Sunday Talking Points Unit of the Ponds Institute.

According to the report's author Dr I. Makitup, the State of Origin should be held every night of the year.

"My study found that while the State of Origin was being played, there was less crime overall," he said.

"By excluding unecessary variables such as most of the police force being utitilised to direct traffic and pedestrians around Milton and Petrie Terrace, and post game antics such as fans clobbering each other and unsavoury goings on at the Alhambra Lounge, I was able to determine that if the State of Origin were played every night of the year, the world would be a safer place."

Dr Makitup's study focussed on groups of villians who were placed in controlled conditions and exposed to varying degrees of light beer, lumpy lounge suite, farting mates, Dark and Stormy (lite), Dominos pizzas, nagging wives and screaming children.

"We showed them either 'Law & Order: SUV' or State of Origin games, and lo and behold, after five minutes, the villians who were watching 'Law & Order: SUV' ran off and committed crimes, while the villians watching the 'State of Origin game waited until after it had finished," he said.

Dr Makitup said his study proved once and for all that despite the absence of Bruce Paige and 'Extra', the government and the community should get behind corporate sport.

Government Slams Misplaced News Values And Outright Fabrications

Dark days indeed ...

The Government has moved one step forward in its plans to rid Australia of the monopoly media menace by slamming misplaced news values and outright fabrications.

The Prime Minister today announced that so-called journalism in Australia had reached an all-time low point.

"Can I just say that I think all Australians would be questioning why the Canberra press gallery sit on stories and follow Mr Ternbill around hanging on his every word," he said.

"What I said in Parliament the other day in terms of Westfield and Rudd Bank is the story they should be following. And what about covering what Cossie, Red, George, Andy and co are up to over in Israel? I'm sure Mr Ternbill would agree that is of great interest to the nation."

Though he slammed the misplaced news values and outright fabrications, the PM stopped short of growing some balls and accusing the monopoly media menace of giving him a touch up for no particular reason, and for eroding democracy in Australia.

The PM defended his stance by explaining that he was doing everything in his power to do what the neocon pricks wanted.

It is understood that ABC journalists who kiss monopoly media menace botty are seemingly unaware that when the monopoly media menace starts consolidating jobs, it's shills and propanganda artists will be gunning for plum ABC jobs.

Look over there, an adviser is groping women at the Winter ball!

A Musical Ode To Brisbane Drinking Places

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvNHgLyzeqM

Fuck The Locals, Stuff Environmental Considerations And Amenity, Let's Throw Out All The Rules And Let The Rich People Do Whatever They Want

Happy 150th Queensland!

From Queensland Parliament [Hansard - 19/6/09]

"Queensland needs to be at the forefront to ensure its planning and development legislation continues to keep pace with the demands facing state and local government planning and development systems, particularly in the high growth areas of the state. This bill delivers flexibility in the processes and systems to allow for faster responses by the state government and local councils to address emerging needs." - Hon. S J Hinchcliffe, Minister for Infrastructure and Planning, on the Sustainable Planning Bill.

Gold Coast Marine Development Project

Hon. SJ HINCHLIFFE (Stafford--ALP) (Minister for Infrastructure and Planning) (9.47 am): I would like to take this opportunity to update the House on the status of the Gold Coast Marine Development Project. Despite challenging economic times, the Bligh government continues to work with the private sector to deliver projects that stimulate local economies and keep Queenslanders in jobs. The Gold Coast Marine Development Project consists of two development sites: the 8.2-hectare northern development area and the 2.3-hectare southern development area. Development of the sites will include marinas, commercial, tourism and recreational facilities.

The estimated capital cost of the project is more than $600 million, to be funded by the private sector, and it could create 1,200 construction jobs and 300 ongoing jobs. In April the project reached a second stage, with detailed proposals documents released to the short-listed bidders for a three-month period. At the request of the remaining short-listed bidders the government recently extended lodgement of detailed proposals by one month to August 2009. This is a sensible response to unfavourable market conditions that make the financial structuring of major projects highly complicated.

Subsequently, two short-listed bidders for the northern development area have withdrawn from the bidding process citing weak property and credit markets and the scale and scope of the proposed development. This leaves one bidder for the northern development area. The southern development area currently has two strong bidders and a third is considering its position following the withdrawal of a consortium member.

The government will rigorously evaluate these proposals against objectives and strict value for money criteria. If an acceptable outcome is obtained, the state will move to execute contractual arrangements for delivery of the project. Provided the proposals can gain all necessary approvals, construction for both development sites will commence in 2011. The government continues to work with the private sector on this project and is doing all it can to deliver further economic benefits to the Gold Coast.

Bogus Baby Business In The Senate

Senate Hansard [18/6/09] reveals that just prior to the ejection of Senator Sarah Hanson-Young from the Senate yesterday, there was a vote on the Protecting Children from Junk Food Advertising (Broadcasting Amendment) Bill 2008.

Senator BOB BROWN (Tasmania-Leader of the Australian Greens) (4.20 pm)-in reply- I thank the contributors to the debate on the Protecting Children from Junk Food Advertising (Broadcasting Amendment) Bill 2008, which not only is an important bill but also is quite urgent in view of the ever-worsening statistics about obesity in Australia, which has a quarter of adults obese now and the speculation in medical circles that we may actually see a reduction in the longevity of the Australian population within the next decade or two starting to occur due to the increase in obesity in the community. The evidence continues to grow that junk food advertising on television materially increases the chances of children becoming obese and that once that happens it is very difficult to reverse it. I point the Senate's attention to the European Journal of Public Health Advance Access, published on 14 April this year. The article 'By how much would limiting TV food advertising reduce childhood obesity?' is by four researchers, J. Lennert Veerman, Eduard F. Van Beeck, Jan J. Barendregt and Johan P. Mackenbach of the Erasmus University Rotterdam and the University of Queensland. In summary, it says:

A complete ban on food advertising on TV may reduce the prevalence of obesity among US children by about 2.5 percentage points. Based on expert opinion, this could be as much as 6.5 percentage points. In other words, given a baseline prevalence of about 17%, possibly as many as one in seven-or even one in three-obese children would not have been obese in the absence of food advertising on TV. Comparable numbers of overweight children might have had a normal weight...

Question put:

That the motion (Senator Bob Brown's) be agreed to. A division having been called and the bells being rung-

The PRESIDENT-Senator Hanson-Young, you will have to take the child outside for a division. We cannot allow children to be in here for a division.

Senator Bob Brown-I request that you provide a childminder for the division, so that Senator Hanson-Young has somebody to provide the care that you insist she gets. Senator Hanson-Young, I want you to stay here.

The PRESIDENT-I think the action is being taken. Someone is going to mind the child.

Senator Bob Brown-I object. President, there is no such rule as the one you have just employed. Although it is in the form of a request, I ask you to come back to this chamber on this ruling that I object to, and object to in the strongest terms.

Not one Senator from the major parties voted in favour of the amendments, and the ABC and corporate media have lapped up the "stunt" talking point.

Senator BOB BROWN (Tasmania-Leader of the Australian Greens) (4.48 pm)-I move: That the ruling of the President be dissented from. Mr President, I ask that the matter be put on the Notice Paper for debate at the next day of sitting.

Senator Boyce-I would like to support Senator Brown's call. Children have come into this chamber in the past, and it is a situation that needs to be debated so that people have a sense of what they can do and what they cannot do.

Senator Fielding-Mr President, very quickly on the same point: I have the utmost respect for your position and the role but I also support Senator Brown. There could have been a better handling of that.

Ordered that debate be adjourned till the next day of sitting, pursuant to standing order 198.

Isn't it interesting how in all the bogus bullshit beatup reporting of this nothing incident, the mainstream media have chosen to disregard the hypocrisy of the Senators who voted against the amendments.

As for:

Former Senate president Paul Calvert has also labelled the incident a political stunt.

Mr Calvert says Senator Hanson-Young had plenty of options, including seating the child in the attendance box or using the parliamentary childcare service.

'There are ways of doing it without all this fuss and I think ... slow news week," he said.

"Slow news week"? Is this guy for real?

And why not ask Senator Joyce why he voted against the amendment rather than centering your stories around his backward, chauvinistic rantings?

A Little Insight Into Iran's Underground Music Scene

(This review was written in August 2007 as the film was part of the Brisbane International Film Festival)

Directed by Amir Hamz and Mark Lazarz, 'Sounds Of Silence' explores the struggles and frustrations of some of the young musicians involved in Iran's underground music scene. Made in 2006, the film combines a series of illuminating interviews spliced with performances and excerpts of music clips, along with fleeting footage of the bustling city of Tehran.

The determined musicians reveal how they manage to create diverse and inspiring music, despite the suffocating role of Ershad - the Iranian Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance. When a band wishes to release a CD or perform a concert, Ershad scrutinizes their lyrics, stage movements and overall look - often making last minute rejections. Women are not permitted to sing solo in public, and any hint of western influence is immediately censored.

The input from a young music journalist and the proprietor of a Tehran music store add to this documentary's well-rounded investigation of the obstacles to producing music in Iran. Most of the artists bear a degree of anger toward the restrictions but are resigned to the situation, and so keen to create an authentic sound that they make their music anyway.

Adaptation is the key, and through the power of the internet, these musicians have been able to share their music with the world. And it's original and addictive - traditional instrumentation blended with electronic beats, hip-hop and heavy guitar - full of rhythm and life. The bands O-Hum and Atma reinterpret the works of ancient Persian poets, while rapper Sorush quotes directly from the Koran.

The mainstream media tell us Iran is one of the west's mortal enemies - a key player in the "axis of evil" where nuclear weapons proliferate, women are subjugated, and censorship of art and culture is rife. 'Sounds Of Silence' is a welcome dose of sensible humanity. Not letting women sing solo is harsh, but plenty of countries have touch of the totalitarian these days. Although we may not have a Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance in Australia, you couldn't really say that our mainstream music scene is progressive or politically provocative. Indeed perhaps market forces and our "war on terror" is proving as censorious as a bunch of religious bureaucrats. In any case, I don't think a country that reveres Kylie Minogue's bottom as a cultural experience is in a position to criticise.

You can find out more about the underground music scene in Iran through the following website:

http://www.tehranavenue.com/

WORLD LEADERS SIGN PACT TO AVERT CLIMATE DISASTER

Newspaper Ignites Hope, Announces "Civil Disobedience Database"

http://iht.greenpeace.org/

http://iht.greenpeace.org/todays-paper/

In a front-page ad in today's International Herald Tribune, the leaders of the European Union thank the European public for having engaged in months of civil disobedience leading up to the Copenhagen climate conference that will be held this December.

"It was only thanks to your massive pressure over the past six months that we could so dramatically shift our climate-change policies.... To those who were arrested, we thank you."

There was only one catch: the paper was fake. Looking exactly like the real thing, but dated December 19th, 2009, a million copies of the fake paper were distributed worldwide by thousands of volunteers in order to show what could be achieved at the Copenhagen climate conference that is scheduled for Dec. 7-18, 2009. (At the moment, the conference is aiming for much more modest cuts, dismissed by leading climate scientists as too little, too late to stave off runaway processes that will lead to millions or even billions of casualties.)

The paper describes in detail a powerful (and entirely possible) new treaty to bring carbon levels down below 350 parts per million - the level climate scientists say we need to achieve to avoid climate catastrophe. One article describes how a website, http://BeyondTalk.net, mobilized thousands of people to put their bodies on the line to confront climate change policies - ever since way back in June, 2009.

Although the newspaper is a fake (its production and launch were coordinated by Greenpeace), the website is real. Beyondtalk.net is part of a growing network of websites calling for direct action on climate change, building on statements made in recent months by noted political figures. (For example, in September Nobel laureate Al Gore asserted that "we have reached the stage where it is time for civil disobedience to prevent the construction of new coal plants.")

Leading American environmentalist Bill McKibben was enthusiastic about the newspaper's message and the methods BeyondTalk.net calls for.

"We need a political solution grounded in reality - grounded in physics and chemistry. That will only come if we can muster a wide variety of political tactics, including civil disobedience."

"Non-violent civil disobedience has been at the forefront of almostevery successful campaign for change," said Andy Bichlbaum of The Yes Men, who helped write and edit the newspaper and are furnishing the technology for BeyondTalk.net.

"Especially in America, and especially today, we need to push our leaders hard to stand up to industry lobbyists and make the sorts of changes we need."

"Roosevelt would never have been able to push through the New Deal if people hadn't taken to the streets, occupied factories, and demanded it," noted newspaper writer/editor and University of California Professor Lawrence Bogad.

Segregation, British rule in India, andapartheid wouldn't have ended without a lot of people being creatively uncooperative - even if that meant getting arrested. Nonviolent civil disobedience is the bread and butter of progress."

The fake newspaper also has an ad for "Action Offsets," whereby those who aren't willing to risk arrest can help those who are.

A HOPEFUL NEWS PANDEMIC?

Today's fake International Herald Tribune is part of a rash of recentp ublications which mimic prominent newspapers. Last November, a fake edition of the New York Times announced that the Iraq War was over. A few days earlier, a hoax USA Today featured the US presidential election result: "Capitalism Wins at the Polls: Anarchy Brewing in the Streets."And this April 1st, a spoof edition of Germany's Zeit newspaper triumphantly announced the end of "casino capitalism" and the abolition of poor-country debt. The rash of fakes is likely to continue.

"People are going to keep finding ways to get the word out about common-sense solutions those in power say are impossible," said Kelli Anderson, one of the designers of the fake International Herald Tribune and co-designer (with Daniel Dunnam) of BeyondTalk.net.

"We already know what we need to do about climate change," said Agnes deRooij of Greenpeace International.

"It's a no-brainer. Reduce carbon emissions, or put the survival of billions of people at risk. If the political will isn't there now, it's our duty to inspire it."

Where Did All The Money Go?

the member for Solomon
skates on thin ice
and the CPRS
comes at a price

in disbelief
I hang my head
just as well no-one listens to
the words that I've said

here in the free world
we are all free
to spend time in jail
for a graffiti spree???

they tasered that man
28 times
but democracy in Queensland
is perfectly fine

bye bye 'Extra'
see ya Bruce
it's a shame
they cut you loose

so let's all pull together
and push the economy
18 workers in 18 months
but we'll keep the abcc

the lion the witch and the wardrobe
bring jobs to the spit
Bernald Salt
is full of shit

doncha know that filibuster
is an American term
when will you jawboning fuckwits
ever learn?

so where did all the money
really go?
don't ask the media
they don't know!

24 October 2009
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF CLIMATE ACTION

http://www.350.org/oct24

Big City Draw Calls All Doodlers:

Brisbane City Council Media Release [17/6/09]

'Peace Love Unity' appeared beneath the Countess Street Railway Bridge in early July last year. By the end of that month it had been painted over. (Says a lot about what the Brisbane City Council think about genuine public art, peace, love and unity AND their spending priorities!)

Whether your artistic style is more Mr Squiggle than Picasso, you're invited to the city's largest free drawing event when the Big City Draw kicks off from 27 June to 9 July to celebrate Brisbane 150. Brisbane City Council will provide free canvases and crayons for residents to join in drawing from 11am to 2pm daily in the Queen Street Mall. Families and Communities Chair Councillor Geraldine Knapp said the Brisbane 150 art and music event was a fun and relaxing way for Brisbane's residents to celebrate the city's 150th anniversary as a municipality.

"The Big City Draw is a chance for all residents to come together and share their visual stories with one another to enhance cultural understanding, harmony and creativity in our community," Cr Knapp said.

"This event will turn Brisbane's CBD into a buzzing playground of creativity with fun, free art activities and music for everyone from toddlers to seniors.

"We want to engage people in the simple act of drawing, which is an activity we've all used to communicate our stories, ideas and dreams ever since our first scribbles with crayons as toddlers.

"There is no basic skill requirement to participate in the Big CityDraw, you just need to enjoy doodling with crayons and letting your imagination run wild.

"We're encouraging groups to register for the Big City Draw by 19 June to book a drawing table and one of the 150 banners however people can also simply turn up on the day.

"We were thrilled for the first registration to come from five seniors aged 83 years and older who live at the Magdalene Court Retirement Community in Bardon. They've already designed a fantastic image for their banner, which they will transfer to canvas when they visit the Queen Street Mall for the event.

"Participants are invited to draw themes that symbolise contemporary issues like caring for our environment, building strong communities, and celebrating cultural diversity or simply what makes this great city unique.

"As each banner is completed and displayed we will start to see a wonderfully rich collection of visual stories showcasing our community's diversity, harmony and imagination."

Local artist, curator and community arts facilitator Amelia Batchelor will guide and inspire the drawing activities as Artist in Residence. The Westpac wall on 260 Queen Street will become a 'canvas for conversation' as participants and passers-by are invited to draw in black and red crayon in the tradition of the drawing masters of the past. [What a co-incidence, they're the Westpac colours! - Ed.]

Participants will be entertained daily with an eclectic program of music styles featuring pop, classical, folk, Celtic, Brazilian and blues bands on the Queen Street Mall Upper Stage from 11am to 2pm. To book a drawing table and one of the 150 banners (5m length x 760mm width) during the Big City Draw, register as a group of four or six people by emailing cm@thecultureconcept.com by 19 June. For further information about Big City Draw 2009 log on to www.brisbane.qld.gov.au or phone Council on 3403 8888.

For anyone who's interested, 260 Queen Street is already a place of artistic significance. From 'Monumental Queensland: Signposts on a Cultural Landscape' by Lisanne Gibson and Joanna Besley:

"A number of works of public art by Leonard and Kathleen Shillam have been described in this book and it is clear that the couple are among Queensland's most significant public artists. Apart from Leonard Shillam's relief on the side of the old State Library Building and his seal sculpture at Broadbeach, none of the Shillams' public artworks are protected by being listed on the Queensland Heritage Register. Two of Leonard Shillam's most significant pieces of work were commissioned by banks and located on Brisbane buildings. The Banker was installed on the Westpac Bank building at 260 Queen Street, on the facade facing Post Office Square, in 1970. This 15-metre-high aluminium mural signifies the role of banking in supporting industry. Historian Judith McKay describes the mural's meaning succinctly:

The Doric columns and entablature over the money-changer refer to to the stability and antiquity of banking. The upper cast panels and openwork structure show the progress and development made possible through the banking system in rural, industrial, scientific and constructional spheres.

On the same wall inside the building there is a smaller Shillam sculpture signifying the city and communications. On the basis of The Banker, Bligh and Partners, architects for the new Commonwealth Bank building on the corner of Albert and Adelaide Streets, commissioned Shillam to develop a mural sculpture for the wall facing King George Square. Banking was installed on the Adelaide Street facade of the new building in 1970. The copper sheet and tubing sculpture signified banking procedures, the rods and bars denoting the partition between the teller and the customer, and the coins and notes denoting money. This piece was demolished in 1992 and, you guessed it, has been replaced by a coffee shop."

Greenwashing Alert

http://www.1millionwomen.com.au/

Appealing to women to reduce household emissions is all very well, but methinks part of the strategy probably won't include suggesting that honky mommas stop driving their SUVs, and even if they do, we're still going to be the world's biggest coal exporter!

How totally fucking cynical.

Why The Australian Business Investment Partnership (Rudd Bank) Bill [2009] Did Not Get Through The Senate

"I've heard it all before
So many words
That you've just closed the door
If you notice
The changes that you fear
But now it's too late to see…"

'Listening', Pseudo Echo [1983]

From Senate Hansard [16/6/09]:

"We have been in discussion with the government over many weeks - and, indeed, effectively, beyond this bill. I have been moving in the Senate and in conversations variously with the Prime Minister and other ministers for some years - about the need to cap what the Prime Minister calls 'obscene CEO payouts'. But the government seems completely transfixed with fear in taking on its public responsibilty to ensure that if it cannot figure out how to put a cap on the multimillion-dollar, self-regulated payouts of CEO's of corporations that are not receiving so much direct public largesse as is emobdied in this bill, at least it should do so for those corporations which are receiving that largesse.

The Prime Minister himself has referred to some of the multimillion-dollar, take-home pay packages of corporate executive in Australia as 'obscene'. And on Lateline last night the Treasurer was referring to the banks - because of the Commonwealth Bank's increase in interest rates without justification, and of course we know other banks are following suit - as 'selfish', but when pushed by Tony Jones was unable to name any action at all to protect the public interest here.

Where banks act in that way, the public pays for it - $18 a month for mortgage holders involved, for example, in the Commonwealth's interest rate hike, which the Treasurer called 'selfish'. And where you have CEOs on multimillion-dollar payouts, which the Prime Minister calls 'obscene', again, it is the public that pays for them We might be dealing with the private sector here, but it is the punter, the battler, the mortgage payers, the interest payers - that is, the average Australian citizen - who is paying for these obscene CEO salaries. It is not as if they are coming out of some other bucket; the public pays for them through bank fees or through increased costs of the goods or services which the public purchases in the marketplace."

What About The Wak?

Wickety Wak, then and now

'Spring Hill Voice' received the following email [16/6/09] from a friend of Wickety Wak in response to our 'Queensland Icons That Missed Out' poem (see below):

Hi there,

I agree and was very disappointed that Wickety Wak did not get a mention in the 150 icons list for Queensland! If this was done 15-20 years ago Wickety Wak would have been in the top 5 icons easily. I mean they were the face of Channel 7 for many years etc., with many TV specials (Waks Works) and "Love You Brisbane" promos.

Wickety Wak also had the very first Australian number one hit in Russia and Canada in 1983 and put Queensland on the map. Wickety Wak were also responsible for writing many of the jingles you still hear today on TV and radio. For example, 'I can feel a Fourex coming on' , 'Denmac does the deal', etc etc.

So why didn't they get a mention? After all, they sold out the Brisbane Entertainment Centre three times over in one weekend in the 1990 final show with 32,000 people!. Twin Towns has Wickety Wak as the number one earning act with the most bums on seats compared to any other international act in the history of the world class venue!

Wickety Wak were also honorary World Expo 88 ambassadors and were given the key to the city. The Wak guys even opened many popular iconic venues in their hey day such as - Stockman's Hall of Fame, Gateway Bridge, many taverns around the suburbs eg Redbank Tavern and much more.

Wickety Wak reformed three years ago in 2006 and have constantly sold out venue after venue! Now the Wak will finish up at Ipswich Civic Centre (another place they opened) on November the 7th. Where is the publicity and Channel 7? I contacted Channel 7 a few months ago and they have never heard of them or the highest rating shows they did at the time back in the 80's and early 90's. After all, they were the main local stars of Channel 7! I wonder if they remember Boris? Doubt it! Maybe that's why Channel 7 in their wisdom threw out all local production footage a few years ago so we would all forget? Yes many shows that we all grew up with have been binned and destroyed by BTQ never to be seen again. At least the friends of Wak have saved some footage and this can be seen on Wak TV on the front main page of wicketywak.com.

How we forget! At least wickety wak will live on through the official fan club space wicketywak.com that is supported by Greg, Tony, rob, Peter and Pahnie! Make sure you all call into the site and visit the forum where you can play audio tracks that many will remember from this iconic Queensland band. Listen to the Queensland medley and you will notice Wickety Wak did write many of those jingles! For example, 'You Can Count on a Queenslander, everything we done was fashioned in the sun etc etc' ... WHY DIDN'T THIS SONG make it to the Q150 website or list? Have a listen and you would agree it should be there.
Now also Wickety Wak started out with Jacki MacDonald on TV0 'The Jacki Macdonald Show'. Also, Wickety Wak did many shows with Waynee Poo Roberts on the Waynee Poo Roberts show!

I feel really sad and embarrassed for Wickety Wak that they are not getting the mention they deserve - especially in this year marking Queensland's 150th.

Cheers
John Power
Friend of Wickety Wak
www.wicketywak.com
The Wickety Wak Fan Site

http://www.wicketywak.com.au/

Lord Mayor's Balls Busted Again

Brisbane's financial future may be looking grim, but thank goodness the BCC can afford to fix the Lord Mayor's balls! [16/6/09]

'Spring Hill Voice' was first on the scene last night [16/6/09] during an emergency procedure to fix the Lord Mayor's balls.

Workers at the scene (one of whom was actually conducting repairs from inside one of the balls) said that they were fixing the balls after they had been vandalised yet again.

The balls have been damaged and vandalised many times since being placed in Brisbane Square/Reddacliff Place a few years ago.

Donna Marcus is the artist with the brains behind these balls, or more formally, the artist who created 'Steam'. She answered a call for expressions of interest from artists nationwide in late 2003, and was one of three artists invited to present their work to the Brisbane Square public art committee. Marcus won the commission on the basis of her broader practice, and was invited to develop a concept for the public space of Brisbane Square.

Marcus' 'Steam' is comprised of 15 geodesic spheres ranging in size from 1.3m to 2.6m in diameter.

When the balls were first placed in Reddacliffe Place they were illuminated of an evening with as many as 16 coloured fluorescent lights and mist emanating from within the spheres.

Balls fenced off for maintenance in January 2007

Tourists find the Lord Mayor's balls irresistable. They bring millions of dollars into the Brisbane economy annually.

Queensland's "Budgetus Horribilus"

"Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks." Karl Marx (1818-1883)

It's not the billions of dollars being borrowed, the consolidation of public sector jobs, the sale of public assets or the fact that we're in deficit, but the slashing of expenditure on fluorescent vests and construction helmets that came as a real shock when Minister Fraser-Island-Boy-Wonder delivered the horror, slash and burn Queensland budget today.

"This is my 'budgetus horribilus'. It is a tough times budget and we all have to make sacrifices," he said.

"I know it will be tough, but massive savings on ministers' fluorescent vests and construction helmets will mean more jobs jobs jobs as well visual relief to those Queenslanders who watch the nightly news."

Minister Fraser-Island-Boy-Wonder also announced a cut to the subsidy on rectangular framed glasses and birkenstocks.

"We all have to tighten our lanyards," said Blighty.

Teachers are the winners in this budget with $7.84 billion allocated for an extra 350 teachers around the state, working out to $22 million for each teacher! Wow! Smart State indeed!

Are You Hoping For A Miracle?

Did you catch David Attenborough's stunning documentary 'The Great Melt' on the ABC last night [14/6/09]?

Have you ever seen a polar bear scrambling to get on solid ice?

Nevermind if you missed it - or even if you didn't - watch this:

http://www.resistdonotcomply.org/

Revolving Door Opened At Queensland's First Confucius Institute Provokes Outpouring Of Old Jokes

Confucius Say: Naked man at airport in revolving door is going to Bangkok!

Man with hand in pocket is always on the ball!

Man who goes to bed with naughty thoughts, wakes up with pregnant pillow!

Man with hand in other man's pocket is obviously not feeling himself today!

From Lezak Shallat's article - 'Confucius goes to Chile' - in the June 2009 edition of 'New Internationalist':

Perched on a hill in the fashionable coastal town of Vina del Mar - adjoining the port city of Valparaiso - is Chile's first Confucius Institute. It overlooks a cluster of buildings that could symbolise Chile's long march towards globalization: the German School; the sprawling Jumbo supermarket (whose arch-rival Lider was recently acquired by US-based WalMart); and the Universidad Santo Tomas, the first Chilean university with a campus in China...

Chile was the first country outside Asia to sign a free trade agreement with China and the Andean nation is positioning itself as a platform for Chinese investment in Latin America. No wonder, then, that Chileans are flocking to Chinese language classes...

Three first-year students arrive and the real work begins. After 50 minutes of baffling tones and characters I wonder whether Confucius had penned the Chinese adage: 'A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step.'

Chinese philosophy, however, is not what this trio seeks. They want to become chefs and they believe that Chinese language skills and cuisine can spice up their careers.

The second-year students are more appreciative of Chinese culture. The folk dances and tea ceremonies on the Institute's calender are aimed at expanding their cultural horizons beyond acupuncture and martial arts. But new students are mainly interested in learning Chinese for it's future economic benefits, according to the Institute's director, Lifen Sun.

Former UST [Universidad Santo Tomas] owner Gerardo Rocha shared that interest. When he invited the Confucius Institute to Vina del Mar, his sights were fixed on profits across the Pacific Ocean. His UST education empire, with schools in 13 Chilean cities and alliances in 33 countries, opened its first campus in China in 2007 at the Anhui University.

Rocha did not live to fulfil his ambition to 'set up 100 universities in China'. In a bizarre incident, he died last year whilst murdering his wife's lover.

But his words still resound in the Confucius Institute's classrooms: 'Free from suspicion and formalities that hinder rather than help, we will be friends once we get to know one another. And this will smoothly evolve into doing business.'

The question is whether this business will be two-way. 'In the future, Chile will be full of Chinese,' predicts student Camila Santibanez. 'Just look at all the new businesses opening up in Valparaiso.'

Friendly Neighbourhood Birds I Hope We Won't Have To Eat In The Future

Crested Pigeons

Rainbow Lorikeets

Brisbane House Prices Soaring ... Rising ... Pigs Are Flying Etc:

If The ABC And Corporate Media Keep Rehashing This Bogus Story, We're Going To Keep Wheeling Out The Same Bullshit Parody!

Australian Real Estate Credulity Boundless

The more inflated it is, the more fun you'll have!

Australian house prices have bounced so high they have all but cleared the slate in terms of plummeting prices recorded in 2008, according to a report.

The report, which was released jointly by a bunch of - wait for it - real estate agents - states that house price values have risen around 2.8 per cent in the last four months.

Rock solid anecdotal evidence from these real estate agents clearly demonstrates the falls in Brisbane property values throughout 2008 are over, have reversed, and we are now in the midst of positive growth.

"I see these rising prices as if they were a can of diet coke cancelling out the kilojoules in a greasy burger," said Mr Slick Shiny-Suit from B.S. Data Analysis & Associates.

Mr Shiny-Suit also said that people in the market for property - especially first home buyers - should offer 2.8 per cent more than the asking price of a property.

Here's the bit at the end (that you hopefully won't notice) which says that data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics clearly refutes the above story.

New Beer PR Offends Intelligence

The "Long Schlong Silver" Beer ... "just a bit of cheeky fun!"

A new beer PR campaign that leaves drinkers holding a naked man has been called dangerous and sexist.

Outraged, offended bastions of the patriarchy have lodged complaints slamming the full strength, high kilojoule beer which releases a wolf whistle when the top is removed, and features a Charles Atlas lookalike whose budgie smugglers disappear as the beer is consumed.

The front label of the "Long Schlong Silver" beer bottle shows the lookalike's very large, semi-erect sexual appendage, while the back label shows his cute buns.

Mens groups say men could be psychologically damaged by the PR campaign because it makes them feel inadequate, and it is only women who should have to feel that way about their bodies.

"This clear commodification and objectification of men's bodies is degrading and we're calling for this beer to be withdrawn from sale," said Mr Cashew-Penis, President of the Men Rule Collective.

"Women should only drink low carb, light beer so they can drive us home," said Mr Pin-Dick, second in charge of the Men Rule Collective.

But a "Long Schlong Silver" spokeswoman said the beer was "just a bit of cheeky fun".

This is not PR, I repeat, not PR for an overpriced beer that tastes like cats piss and is aimed at small dicked wankers.

Main Beach [13/6/09]

Driftwood, old faithful waiting for his two legged friends to finish their surf, and the view south.

Installation Art or Stargazing Chair? Federation Walk, The Spit

Fighting Fascism: Brisbane Day Care Centre Goes "Back To The 70s"

Ernie and Bert ... feel the love!

Class Consciousness In Your Community with Des Does-Daycare.

Nutritionally balanced meals featuring banana and honey sandwiches, pieces of apple, cheesesticks, little boxes of sultanas and cartons of milk will be the order of the day at the "Back to the 70s" Day Care Centre.

"Children will make their own play dough and have afternoon naps," says "Back to the 70s" Director Miss Mary, who completed her training at the Brisbane Kindergarten Teachers' College.

"We have a comprehensive 'Dr Suess' Library, all the teachers will wear flared jeans, flared skirts and eyeliner, play the piano and sing songs about Gough Whitlam."

Children will learn about co-operation, sharing and will be encouraged to bring small bunches of flowers from the garden for the teachers on a regular basis.

Sawdust will be used when one of the children has an upset tummy, and children will stand in the corner if they've been naughty.

State of the art little wooden chairs and craypas will also be available at this egalitarian and secular centre.

Miss Mary said that a couple of the children may catch measles about once a year, and parents will be advised in the fortnightly roneo newsletter.

The "Back to the 70s" Day Care Centre is planning Lamington Drives, fetes and every now and then visits from parents who have jobs like fireman, who will visit in the firetruck to tell the children about the importance of community service.

"Children who attend the "Back to the 70s" Day Care Centre won't have obesity problems because they will dance, sing, skip, hula hoop and run and run and run and play on the monkey bars above concrete, sometimes skinning their knees and crying while the teachers' aide applies mecuracome," said Miss Mary.

"Parents will collect their children in valiants and cortinas or geminis, or walk them home at a reasonable hour and they will all go home together and talk about their day. Plus the parents won't threaten legal action if their child breaks their arm," she added.

Of course, this is not PR. I repeat, this is not PR.

Turpin Street Stencil

The daylight moon looked quietly down
Through the gathering dusk on London town

A smock-frocked yokel hobbled along
By Newgate, humming a country song.

Chewing a straw, he stood to stare
At the proclamation posted there:

"Three hundred guineas on Turpins head,
Trap him alive or shoot him dead;
And a hundred more for his mate, Tom King."

['The Ballad of Dick Turpin' by Alfred Noyes 1880-1958]

*** BRISBANE CITY COUNCIL COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT ***

Council's discounted Microchipping Days offer peace of mind for owners of dogs and cats [11 June 2009]

What's the size of a grain, costs $25 and gives you peace of mind? Discounted microchips are available from select Brisbane City Council animal shelters to ensure your dog or cat never goes missing for long. [They should be free, along with compulsory desexing - cats and dogs, not humans, although hmmmmmm....... - Ed.]

Council invites owners to bring their animal companions along to Microchipping Days on 13 June at Willawong Animal Shelter and on 14 June at Warra Animal Shelter. A local vet will safely and quickly insert the microchip into your pet's fur without discomfort to your pet. The discounted rate of $25 is a considerable saving for residents as the chips normally cost $61 at Council shelters and up to $100 or more at vet clinics. Microchipping means even if your animals' collar or registration tag is removed, your animal is permanently identified Australia wide and can be safely returned to you.

What's On

What: Discounted Microchipping Days

Cost: $25 discounted price

Note: No bookings required. Dogs must be on leads and cats must besecure in cages.

Southside

When: Saturday 13 June, 10am to 2pm Where: Willawong Animal Shelter, 501 Gooderham Road, Willawong Northside

When: Sunday 14 June, 10am to 2pm Where: Warra Animal Shelter, 521 Telegraph Road, Bracken Ridge For more information please visit www.brisbane.qld.gov.au or phoneCouncil on (07) 3403 8888.

Funky-Framed Lanyard Wearers To Take Over Queensland Parliament

As reported by the monopoly press today, funky-framed lanyard wearers will soon have the opportunity to sniff the sacred seats in Parliament House, just like their counterparts in Western Australia.

"Purists might say but they're already kissing bums, but sniffing seats will definitely evolve Queensland's democracy, going foward," said Newspeaker.

"I'm going to run it up the flagpole and hope the monopoly press presents it in a positive light."

It is understood that some ministers are struggling with giving straight answers and representing their constituents because a dingo is on the loose on the Gold Coast, and infrastructure too!

Did you know that Queensland got a new constitution on 27th November 2001?

Excuse Me, Are These Rights Reserved?

In the introduction to this comic book (or graphic creative non-fiction if you prefer), Cory Doctorow explains that:

Copyright, a system that is meant to promote creativity, has been hijacked by a few industrial players and perverted. Today, copyright is as likely to suppress new creativity as it is to protect it.

The comic, 'Bound By Law - Tales From The Public Domain', is written by Keith Aoki, James Boyle and Jennifer Jenkins who are academics involved in various aspects of copyright and public domain. Aoki is a Professor of Law at the University of Oregon, Jenkins is Director of Duke University's Center for the Study of the Public Domain and Boyle is a Professor of Law at Duke Law School. Boyle and Jenkins wrote the text and Aoki drew the pictures.

The story is about a documentary maker, Akiko, and her film capturing a day in the life of New York. Two lawyers take her on a surreal crash course in copyright law and try to explain its advantages and dilemmas. It is a real life example of the ways that other's creative rights can restrict the artist's, as well as the possibility of abuse of those rights to shut down new work.

At about 70 pages it is easy to read quite quickly, but the subject matter is perhaps surprisingly complex. As Doctorow explains in his introduction:

This is a sensible book about a ridiculous subject. It's an example of the principle it illustrates: that taking from the culture around us to make new things is what culture is all about, it's what culture is for. Culture is that which we use to communicate.

Of course the subject matter is US copyright law and the ideas of public domain, fair use and the Creative Commons project, but it is quite readily applicable in a general sense to the Australian creative landscape and the principles are the same if some of the legal nuances differ.

The comic format works but the reader must be in the mood for something of an academic discourse of the subject. Particularly delightful is the cramming full of almost every panel with easily recognisable copyrighted cultural references such as an image of Mickey Mouse, a reference to Woodstock or McDonalds, myriad cartoon and film figures and literary characters, all used without fees under the fair use protections to make the point.

This is a tale of danger and hope for creative types. There are spooky stories of licence holders, usually mega corporations such as Fox and EMI, making extortionate demands on artists and documentary makers for miniscule perceived breaches. But the authors also give examples of real cases where judges upheld the creator's right to make commentary or analysis. In the 'afterword', Why Three Stodgy Academics Wrote a Comic Book, Boyle summarises their views. He makes the point that whilst they support the aims and reality of copyright, they question whether the law has swung too far in favour of the entrenched and against the new. As he puts it:

One of the under-appreciated tragedies of the permissions culture is that many young artists only experience copyright as an impediment, a source of incomprehensible demands for payment, cease and desist letters, and legal transaction costs. Technology allows them to mix, to combine, to create collages. They see the law as merely an obstacle. This is a shame because copyright can be a valuable tool for artists and creators of all kinds - even for many of those who are trying to share their work without charge.

Sadly the message still comes through that if there is any chance of offending the big players the artist better get a lawyer, son, better get a real good one. One example is the celebrated documentary Tarnation, which screened at Cannes but, famously, was made digitally for only $218. Apparently the film "ended up costing over $400,000, most of which went to clearing rights".

Walt Disney Was A Mash Up Artist!

See 'RiP: A remix manifesto' either on your PC, or if your PC is as backward as ours, then at the Dendy (which, even though we're still annoyed with Mel Gibson's decision to ditch George Street, we were impressed with the Portside's cool staff, plus we got a couple of drinks to take into to the cinema! Which reminded me of a BIFF screening at the James Street Palace a couple of years ago, where technical difficulties resulted in an hour wait for the film, and no complimentary drinkies - just a suggestion to buy your own) to find out why.

'RiP: A remix manifesto' will either affirm what you know is the truth about art and creativity and the evils of corporate control of your life, or give you something to think about - especially in the context of this story:

MARK COLVIN: A courtroom battle between two music giants is about to begin and the fight is over two Australian songs.

The music publishing company, Larrikin Music, has accused the 80s rock band Men at Work of ripping off the popular children's song Kookaburra, in their song Down Under.

Larrikin is suing the songwriters and seeking compensation for unpaid royalties.

The copyright hearing begins later this month, but as Lindy Kerin reports, opinion is already divided about whether it's a case of coincidence or outright plagiarism.

And this story:

Reporter Quentin McDermott tells how up to ten per cent of art that's resold across Australia could be problematic. This crisis of confidence has led art lovers to demand that any fake unfairly traded should be destroyed or registered, to avoid it being traded again.

Words Of Wisdom From An Old Timer

Because our entire economy and western way of life is based on the false premise of cheap, easy and virtually infinite growth of fossil fuel consumption (especially oil) there can be no doubt that times are going to get tougher than they are at present. That's why the 'Oil Drum' should be essential daily reading for anybody with a brain.

'Airdale', who regularly comments on the 'Oil Drum' has some sage advice:

1. Don't get out of debt. Others aren't and so should you not for in the end all debts will be uncollectable.

2. Don't hoard cash. Hoard that which is eatable. Cash will be worthless.

3. Buy buy buy..all things needed to survive with.

4. Sell all your useless junk that will turn to trash soon enough.

5. Raise as many children as you can. You will need lots of labor and try to have some fun doing it.

6. Don't listen to the pundits. They have their own agendas.

7. Stop all insurance. It will be useless soon enough.

8. Do the opposite of what your gobbermint espouses.

9. Buy a donkey. A jack to breed to the horse mares you just brought to create mules. You won't need hay or pastures once we go 'open range'. Mules are the best draft animals since the beginning of time. You just can't fool a mule. They KNOW the score but will work hard anyway.

10 And never never stop planting peas and beans. Never.

11. Quit smoking. Moonshine is better.

12. Try to be cool. Like the hippies. Make it through, work it out. The world will reward those who reward it. Get some love beads. Whatever. Good ole Bob Dylan songs have messages. Seek them out.

Airdale-what did I leave out? Oh learn to play a harmonica. You won't regret it. Not the 'blow' shit...try some bending and blues. There you go! Now go outside and build a fire. Roast some good meat and howl at the moon til it goes down. Then go in and get laid.

The Icons That Missed Out

Here's a little poem,
About some icons that missed out.
A few more distinctive Queensland things,
We often think about.

Beaches and the bush,
Point Danger, Shoalwater Bay.
Those longer lasting sex billboards
All along the freeway.

Bananas, mangoes, frangipanis,
Botanic Gardens in the city.
Golden Circle, Buderim Ginger
West End markets - what a pity.

Two-headed fish in the Noosa River,
Russ Hinze, the Deen Brothers
Constable Dave Moore,
Senior Sergeant Hurley among others.

The Surf has gone from Kirra,
But Hervey Bay has whales.
Trawlers at the Spit,
Have plenty prawns for sale.

Stolen wages and Kanakas,
Tasers, shreddergate.
The Caxton Legal Service,
Traveston awaits its fate.

Misogynistic Mayors,
And commercial-in-confidence.
Street Marches and skin cancer,
Farewell to the Regent.

Drink your fluoride, desal, sewage,
Land clearing and brown coal.
Pumpkin Scones and Peanuts,
A stinking tunnel with a toll.

Festival Hall, Triple Zed,
The original Shingle Inn.
Spring Hill Fair, the Upper House,
Grant McLennan.

No Nos, Baguette, The New Chung Shan,
The Valley, Chinatown.
Milanos, Jo-Jos, Mama Luigis,
Krispy Kreme if you're a clown

The Roxy and Manhatten,
The Normanby and The Zoo.
Some Broncos went to the Alhambra lounge,
And did things in the loo.

Trams, ferries, rattling trains,
All the Sugar Mills.
Colonial massacres, Lambing Flat,
Monopoly media from Bowen Hills.

Phil Dickie, Tracey Wickham,
Grant and Lisa Curry-Kenny.
A casino in the treasury building,
Where you can lose your pennies.

Clive Palmer, Billy J. Smith,
The Ludwig family.
Captain Logan, Jackie Howe,
Father Peter Kennedy.

James McPherson, Phippsy,
The Cilento family.
Emma Miller, William Lane.
Sir Charles Lilley, Sister Kenny.

Hemi, Peter Andre,
Paul Sharratt, 6ft Hick.
Wickety Wak, Rupert McCall
Ahimsa House and Rics.

I wish I was Tex Perkins,
Ross Fitzgerald, Raymond Evans.
Dick Desert, The Veronicas,
And too many 7 Elevens.

Simon Gallagher, Jackie MacDonald,
The Noonan Family.
Ian Fairweather, Jon Molvig,
Sam Watson's poetry.

There's been no change in political culture.
The corruption's gotten worse.
And one man's icon is another's joke,
Or possibly a curse.

“Art is a lie that makes us realise the truth.” Pablo Picasso

Bring back my sketchbook you fiends!

Flexible Work Trial Gets The Finger

How about you stop building tunnels and roads and make public transport efficient and free you dickheads!

There can be no doubt that traffic congestion is a real problem for workers in Brisbane's CBD.

That's why twenty organisations and government departments are participating in a four-week flexible work hours trial.

A number of CBD workers are participating in the trial, which is in its second week.

"I avoid traffic congestion by staying at work all the time," said Ms Birkin-Stock who works for the Department of Liasing with Corporations To Create Synergies.

"The trial gets my finger."

"I just stay in bed all day," said Mr En Abler who is under no illusions about his role as a little cog in the big wheel of fucking up the environment and screwing ordinary people.

"No congestion there, unless my wife decides to have a sickie, and the dog jumps on the bed while we watch 'Oprah'! Yes. It gets my finger too - and a brown eye for good measure."

The flexible work hours trial has been organised by the State Government as a way of appearing to be trying to do something about congestion without having to do anything about it at all.

The Puppet Never Dances By Itself

Australians don't really care about democracy, but they respect and admire leaders who display support for the underdog. One thing that Australians really can't stand is hypocrisy. Even though most of them have no idea what the word means, they get really "negative" about people who are not what they present as.

This is why Australians loved Fred Hollows. Whatever the corporates say about him, he saved a lot of peoples' eyesight and he was not a publicity tart. That came later.

Entrepreneur, businessman, aviator, and philanthropist Dick Smith is also one of the good guys. He built an electronics business from scratch (which Woolworths bought 20 years ago), and he looks out for the underdogs.

The corporate media and PR folks might say he's daggy, but he doesn't shove his beliefs down everyone's throat, and possibly because of his acts of kindness and generosity, Dick Smith is worth millions as a retail brand.

When people such as Peter Garrett (remember when he made a living from Midnight Oil, which everyone loved because it stood for everything we all knew was wrong with Thatcher/Reagan neo-conservatism?), Mark Arbib and PM Rudd, dance to the extreme Right-Wing tune, we have a huge problem in this country, called Australia.

Your Federal Government is, shall we say, 'Highly Strung', and there are people trying to highlight the fact that they are all on strings. We are just trying to do our bit to cut those puppet strings!

Archbishop Reginald Charles Halse's Headstone

Sherwood Cemetery is the resting place for some of Brisbane's prominent ecclesiastic and founding business citizens and their families. The popular Anglican Archbishop Halse, a contemporary of the Catholic Archbishop Duhig, and some of the Sisters of the Sacred Advent are buried here. Archbishop Halse lies in a lead lined coffin which was going to be relocated to St John's Cathedral in the city when it was completed.

"Pie Eaters" And "Fairies" Exchange Barbs

A Lemon meringue pie, and a fairy

With the complete privatisation of every last State owned asset an unopposed certainty, it was left to the Opposition and Unions to sling it out over who was the more ineffectual brake on the unaccountable Blighty government. The opposition Borg started the ball rolling by calling the unions a bunch of gutless fairies. Without missing a beat, the union boss shot back that Borg was nothing but a pie-eater.

Ouch! Take that, Government. Blighty responded: "Whatever, the deals are done."

The mono-media dutifully reported the slanging match as the circus side show that it is, and the neo-liberal privatisation machine rolls on unhindered. Smell that democracy inaction!

Dick Smith And Others Care About Democracy In Australia. Which Other Wealthy And Prominent Australians Will Give Senator Bob Brown A Hand, Or Speak Out On His Behalf?

Help keep Bob in the Senate - Wielangta Case

To help keep Bob in the Senate, the most helpful thing you can do is to make a donation via the Wielangta website: www.on-trial.info

Bob Brown won his original court case to stop Forestry Tasmania logging the magnificent Wielangta forest, but the win was overturned on a technicality by the full bench of the Federal Court after the Howard Government joined forces with the Lennon Government to change the law.

Now Forestry Tasmania is threatening to bankrupt Bob if he does not pay their court costs by June 29. That would disqualify him from the Senate.

Bob would like to thank everybody who has been and continue to be so generous!

Again, Queensland Greens... where are you on this? Why no media release?

Southport Koala's Days Numbered? And Does Anybody Care?

Koala Sculpture, Southport Mall. The plaque states: "This piece of community art featuring our national icon the koala, was donated to the Southport community in 2003 by Mr David Chiu, Honorary Ambassador to the city of Taipei, Taiwan and Mrs Ligi Chiu."

Southport's residents are currently furiously debating the draft Central Southport Master Plan, which the Gold Coast City Council says will "guide Southport's development until 2031".

Well they aren't really. Mostly they're worried about putting food on the table, staying out of trouble, hoping their boss will cut them some slack and maybe going for a surf if the sun is out.

They don't like Kevin Rudd, they're not sure about Ron Clarke and they wish there was a newspaper that represented their interests and didn't poke fun at them or gee up racial tension.

In a council media release [25/5/09] Sustainable City Future Committee Chairperson, Councillor Peter Young, said that the draft master plan covered the existing central business district, the current hospital precinct, Broadwater Parklands and existing residential areas north of Railway Street and south of Queen Street.

While Divisional Councillor, Dawn Crichlow said "we need to make sure that whatever happens in central Southport will also be good for local residents, both now and in the future," and that, "we'd like people to come along and see the plans and tell us what they think."

Snowflake's chance in hell on that one!

Whether or not the strange koala sculpture in the Southport Mall will be a casualty of the Southport Master Plan remains to be seen. In any case it is of no concern to any of the suburb's residents, and neither is the fate of the Ray White clock that doesn't keep time or the Rotary Club's ashtray memorial to James Cook's "Voyage of Discovery". Crazy Clarks closed down a few months ago and nobody batted an eye.

It is refreshing to live in a place where no-one gives a sh*t, and most of all they don't pretend to give a sh*t!

The Ray White clock that doesn't keep time and the Rotary Club's ashtray memorial to James Cook's "Voyage of Discovery [1768-1771]"

Southport CBD is far more organic and alive than anywhere within Brisbane's CBD. Other than the wonderful continental bakery Pandoro disappearing a few months ago, there are new and unique cafes, retail outlets, hair salons and restaurants emerging every day, and the civic centre is always buzzing with tourists, locals, students, business people and colourful lawyers and politicians.

The only thing missing is a genuine newspaper (all we get is the piece of sh*t, Murdoch, wouldn't wipe my bum with it, 'Bulletin'). If ever a market was ripe for a genuine newspaper, this one is it, it would leave Murdoch's joke spinning its wheels in its own muck trying to catch up.

The Draft Central Southport Master Plan is on display at the Southport Branch Library until June 22.

Formal submissions must be in writing and need to be received by Council by June 22.

Residents seeking more information can phone Council's Regional Plan and Urban Design Unit on (07) 5582 8600.

Overreaching

From 'To The Bitter End: The Dramatic Story Behind The Fall Of John Howard And The Rise Of Kevin Rudd' by Peter Hartcher [2009]:

"Margaret Thatcher won the leadership of the British Conservative Party in 1975 and, as Opposition leader, offered exactly the sort of policies that Howard thought necessary. She started to implement them when she was elected Prime Minister in 1979. Ronald Reagan took power in the US in 1981 and started to impose the same solutions. But in Australia, it was not the conservatives under Fraser who embraced economic rationalism. In Australia it was the Labor Party that first introduced the Thatcher-Reagan revolution when Bob Hawke and his Treasurer, Paul Keating, took power in 1983.

Howard has always given Labor credit for this. The liberalisation of the Australian economy along pro-market lines was a bipartisan project. The two political parties only ever differed on detail, never on the broad objective. And when Howard took office in 1996, he intended to finish the job. The aim was to give markets greater play in the economy and to give governments less.

Howard believed there had been just five key economic reforms in Australia: 'That's the story of the last twenty-five years - the story of our march through that last quarter of a quarter of a century. Two were reforms carried out by the Labor Party, with our help; the other three carried out by us in the face of their opposition.' And the reforms? Deregulating the financial system, phasing out tariffs and quotas on imports, privatising government-owned businesses, reforming the tax system to impose a smaller tax on incomes and a bigger tax on consumption, and deregulating the labour market.

Howard credits Labor under Hawke-Keating with the first two and takes credit himself for the latter three, but this is hotly contested by Labor. And, in truth, Labor did begin the privatisation agenda when it sold Qantas and the Commonwealth Bank; Howard only finished the job. Labor also carried out the first big deregulation of the labour market with the 1992 introduction of enterprise bargaining. This was the job that Howard now wanted to finish.

Labor believed it was unneccessary to go any further. Keating put it best: 'The wages system is running like a Swiss watch,' he said in May 2005. 'The key point is the labour market fundamentally does not need reforming. The move to enterprise bargaining was completely successful. We've had rising real wages and falling unit labour costs ever since and, of course, low inflation. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. In the fourteenth year of the expansion, with high levels of employment growth and real supply constraints, we're still turning out moderate wage increases - 3.3 per cent last year - without industrial disputation.'

But for Howard, the job of industrial relations reform was only half done. 'The PM, as much as anyone, thought IR [industrial relations] was unfinished buisness,' Sinodinos said. 'It's a matter of making continuous improvement. The guiding idea was to forge a single national system - out of the existing multi-layered, multi-jurisdictional structure in which Federal law vies with separate State systems. 'Howard had changed his thinking on this. And he said we should seek to do more, through a national system, then tidy up areas like unfair dismissals [and] simplify awards. I think the philosophy underpinning it was clear - it was pioneered by Rio Tinto and it was about getting closer relations between employers and employees.' In other words, cutting out the union's role in bargaining on behalf of workers."

Text Message Conspiracy As State Mourns Loss Of Queensland's First Dog

Like the monomedia in Queensland, Rusty kept all the politicians on a tight leash

Queenslanders were overcome with grief today on learning of the passing of the former Premier's dog Rusty, but mystery surrounds the state's much loved and iconic beagle-corgi's last hours.

Pouffeney from the Poodle Liberation Organisation says it was no co-incidence that Rusty died on Queensland Day.

"Rusty and I never really got on because he always maintained a pragmatic approach to things, but we shared a mutual respect, and unlike Tiddles the cat, Rusty held great influence in the corridors of power. Not many people know that Rusty was very nearly the drover's dog," she said.

"I'm not saying there was a conspiracy, but I did receive a couple of bizarre text messages from him last week."

Pouffeney ... "mutual respect"

Pouffeney says the first text message said: "I am worried about the sell off of state assets", which was followed shortly afterwards by another text message which said: "Help Oh Rough Rough Rough Help!!!!"

"That was the last I ever head from Rusty, and the next thing I knew he was dead," said Pouffeney.

Rusty's naked body was found hanging in the closet of a seedy downmarket boarding kennel.

Police say there are no suspicious circumstances.

It is expected that the Prime Minister will not announce a State Funeral for Rusty for obvious reasons. However, the Q150 committee are rumoured to be considering that a "Rusty" memorial be erected at the Wilston Retail/Dining precinct, which was Rusty's favourite place to relieve himself.

YOUR SAY: Do you have a "Rusty" story? Well keep it to yourself, we don't care!

Spring Hill Voice Exclusive: Norman Hotel Steer Speaks Out After Fire

Norman ... "I was sure my rump was going to be well done"

Last week's heritage listed fire at the iconic, landmark, historic and much admired, prominently sited Norman Hotel in Brisbane, (which is no longer just a big country town), has produced an accidental hero - Norman.

Norman is the steer who used to reside on the upstairs corner verandah of the hotel, but is now in hiding at an undisclosed location under a witness protection program. It is understood that the Coroner may wish to have a chat with him.

Norman says he may have inadvertently started the fire when he kicked over a lantern in the shed.

"I don't know how the lantern got there but I suspect it was old Mrs Leary, who probably put it there one dark night, when we were all in bed," he said.

"I'm pretty sure she winked her eye and said it would be a hot night in the old town tonight. Then I heard the eerie sound of dozens of boy scouts shouting: 'Fire,fire, fire!', after that it is all a blur.

"I was sure my rump was going to be well done."

Norman's partner, Ruth, who stands outside the Spring Hill Hotel would not answer any of our questions relating to the fire. It is understood she is still suffering post-traumatic stress disorder after having her horns broken off a few years ago.

The Queensland Heritage Register entry for the Norman Hotel says:

"Under the old National Party government, the Deen Brothers made a lot of money from government contracts to demolish old buildings. These demolitions, including the "Bellevue Hotel" and "Cloudland", were divisive and controversial and resulted in a great public outcry. But under the ALP, the Deen Brothers haven't been needed to demolish old buildings. These days, those old buildings just unexpectedly burn down all by themselves!"

Ruth ... silent

In related news, a more thorough search of the Queensland Heritage Register reveals that the "Alliance Hotel" at Spring Hill is scheduled to burn down unexpectedly in October. The Heritage Register also lists a few other hotels, such as the "Broadway", "The Jubilee" and the "Clarence Corner", which have no set dates yet for burning down unexpectedly in the next few years. The heritage value of all of these old pubs will be preserved after they unexpectedly burn down under the State Government's "Ooops, didn't see that coming! Luckily a developer already has culturally sensitive redevelopment plans drawn up!" policy for urbane renewal.

"The Victory", the last old pub in Brisbane's CBD, burned down unexpectedly late last year, right on schedule.

Some say fire is involved in all these unexpected burning downs.

We Fall But We Keep Getting Up, Over And Over And Over And Over...

Retaining wall of the Riviera II apartments, near Vulture Street Overpass, Woolloongabba [7/6/09]

Queensland Privatisation

Queensland Greens, Where Are You?

This is a goal within your Industrial Relations policy:

To stop the corporatisation and privatisation of government services.

Where is your media release? Who gives a flying f*ck about the gender makeup of the Federal cabinet?

What Is This Odd Bird? It Looks Like A Cross Between a Scaly Breasted and Rainbow Lorikeet!

Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary is looking into it for us ... stay tuned!

"One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?"

"One of These Things (Is Not Like the Others)", written by Joe Raposo and Jon Stone for 'Sesame Street'

Particularly interesting, in light of last week's 'Catalyst', because this little fellow (or lady) has rainbow lorikeet colouring on its head, but Scaly breasted markings on its breast!

"Dr Sarah Pryke: I’m very interested in the behaviours that birds do and especially to do with colour and genetics – so, why certain birds have got different colours. Gouldian Finches are pretty unique because they basically wear their genes on their heads if you like."

*UPDATE* Here's the response from Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary:

"Thank you for the photos, however I've just been told that Rainbow Lorikeets & Scaly Breasted Lorikeets don't interbreed, so it's likely the bird is a Rainbow Lorikeet that just has different colour variation to the others. There is also an Olive Lorikeet that I've just looked at on the internet, but it doesn't appear that your visitor is one of those either!"

A Message From The Australian Greens [5/6/09]

Dear Friend,

The Rudd government has broken faith with tens of thousands of aspiring university students by making unfair changes to Youth Allowance.

Until now, young people who worked during a gap year between school and university could qualify as independent in the eyes of the Government and become eligible for Youth Allowance to support themselves throughout their degree.

This will no longer be possible from January 1, 2010. An estimated 30,700 aspiring students may begin their studies next year without the income support of Youth Allowance they thought they had earned.

The retrospective effect of these changes means the goalposts have been moved halfway through the game. Please let the Rudd government know you think this is unfair by signing our petition

We have been inundated with emails from concerned young people , their caregivers and educators from all over Australia.

The changes to the current eligibility criteria will make it harder for young people, especially those in rural and regional areas, to qualify for the independent rate of Youth Allowance. Many students from regional and rural areas take a gap year to work because they rely on income support to undertake tertiary study away from home.

Doing away with the gap year may prevent young people from taking up their university places – ending the university dream for some.

Are you affected by the changes? Do you know someone currently taking a gap year who could be affected? Please show your support by signing our petition.

While the Greens welcomed some of the reforms to Youth Allowance in the May Budget, the retrospective effect of these changes has caught students short.

I have written to Minister Gillard’s office urging her to stop these unfair changes. If she fails to act, the Greens will move amendments in the Senate to prevent this legislation from disadvantaging students currently working on a gap year.

Yours sincerely,
Sarah Hanson-Young
Greens Senator for South Australia & spokesperson for Education

One Health System And Equal Health Care For All

"The increasing load of patients, particularly those who needed operations - especially long and complex operations - created difficulties in both the public and the private hospitals at which I worked, but the problems were quite different. At Prince Alfred, my all-day operating list began at 8 a.m. and finished at 6 p.m. Any work carried out after 6 p.m. meant that the nursing staff helping me needed to be paid overtime but also it meant they suffered the inconvenience of arriving home late to spouses, loved ones and children and being more physically spent than a normal day's work would demand. Additional patients in the public setting represent a cost which, when applied not only to the nursing staff but to all the staff concerned, might be considerable. By contrast, patients added to the operating lists in private hospitals represented additional income for the hospital and were more welcomed than discouraged. There was a limit, however, because nursing numbers in the private hospitals tended to be lower due to the natural inclination in the private sector to run with leaner staffing levels to keep costs down. So there was never an imperative to finish by a particular hour in the private hospital because it was adding to the hospital's revenue rather than simply chewing up resources, but it did mean that the nursing and anaesthetic staff who were unlucky enough to be working with me simply stayed on until the work was done.

The necessity to carry out a large number of operations effectively and expeditiously in the public sector occasionally meant that I could not invest the time in teaching that I would have liked to. The registrars and fellows were invariably much slower and more uncertain when performing operations and, principally through inexperience, would usually have little sense of time management. Sometimes they would stand at the operating table poking about, scratching here and there, with no sense at all that the clock was ticking and that the operation needed to be progressed and even completed. Balancing the need to teach - sometimes standing at the operating table with the registrar and directing every cut and every stitch and sometimes standing back from the operating table watching the young surgeon operate and simply commenting from time to time - with the need to get through the work so that the patients received the treatment that they needed, was a challenge throughout my working life."

Fascism vs Anarchy At 4ZzZ

Zagreb, Croatia Now Has Free Public Transport!

'Croation Times' reports [5/5/09]:

"City bosses in Zagreb have introduced free public transport in a bid to cut car numbers in the capital.

Public city transport in the wider Zagreb downtown area became free of charge as of today (Tue) and Zagreb Municipal Transit System (ZET) head Ivan Tolic said: "This is designed to reduce car traffic in the centre and encourage residents to park their cars in public garages outside the centre."

Tolic said the city’s finances would not be hurt by the new measure."

http://frepubtra.blogspot.com/

Who Put The "Gay" In Gaythorne?

Carson Cressley ... distant relative

As we celebrate 150 years of the Sunshine State, perhaps Queensland should be considering a change of name - to Queerland?

Author Aloysius Humperdick-Throb III says that while researching his book 'Some Politicians May Be Gay', he found that some of the state's politicians might have been gay.

"I certainly didn't find that any of the current crop sitting in Parliament House are gay," he said.

"But that's because my funding didn't cover those parameters."

Mr Humperdick-Throb said that unlike today, a cocktail of sex, innuendo, intrigue and mystery surrounded the private lives of many of the state's 19th century polititicans.

"My research uncovered that that a distant relative of Carson Kressley visited a farmhouse in Moreton Bay just prior to Queensland's separation from New South Wales," he said.

Mr Humperdick-Throb said that although no-one knew what gay was back then, the community partied well into the night, decorated, created gourmet feasts and dressed exquisitely. When Kressley's relative left, the group, noted as committed bachelors and spinsters, were so bereft they decided to name the area after him.

In related news, academics are debating who was/is Queensland's first fascist premier. With many contenders vying for the title, and arguments about which of them truly qualify as fascist dictators, it is not known whether the winner will be announced in time for the Q150 celebrations.

Things Have Changed A Lot In 150 Years!

From: Chapter 4 - Consolidation, '1860-1879' in 'A History of Queensland' by Raymond Evans:

"The early parliamentarians, apart from Robert Herbert, grandson of the Earl of Carnarvon, who arrived as Bowen's private secretary and was subsequently elected as first premier, had little or no political experience. And Herbert too was a comparative novice. They were all represented as 'woefully barren of statesmanship', and generally lacking in 'knowledge or ability'. A civil servant, who arrived in 1862, found the small governing class imbued with 'great ignorance' and 'strange ideas' that 'would astonish those who think and read'. Apart from a rough and vacillating town versus country interest within their ranks, there was no initial sense of party formation or much hint of political principle among them. Politicians crossed the floor with ease, engaged in prolonged and acrimonious personal disputes and usually put opportunism first. Parliamentary procedures were little understood. Instead, due to the absence of any structure of local government, colonial politicians tended to behave as individual benfactors, lavishing promises of public works upon their numerically small constituencies in order to obtain election. This had resulted, lamented Bowen, in 'a confused and bustling scuffle of local agency', 'log-rolling'at the polls, a strong tendency towards regionalism in decision-making, and general extravagance. it was 'as if the fate of an English Ministry was to depend on the construction of public works in Tipperary or Donegal', he quipped.

Old Country New Country: The Journey of a Raft

Monday, June 8 @ 6pm SBS

Preview short here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9CDy21yDhY

'There aren't many traditional elders still around today unfortunately, especially ones who are willing to speak on camera, so this film is really special …' Missy Higgins May 2009.

OLD COUNTRY NEW COUNTRY --The Journey of a Raft is the poignant and politically powerful story of Bardi Elder Roy Wiggan passing on to his nephew Albert the traditional aboriginal craft of raft-making. In the process, they travel from their country - the rugged and ancient beauty of the Kimberley region, one of the few remaining wildernesses on the planet -- to the once pristine, now industrialised Pilbara to the south.

As Roy instructs Albert in Bardi raft-building, the land of their people is being destroyed by mining developments. To the Bardi people, "country" is not real estate to be bought and sold. It is the essence of their aboriginal being. But, now, Roy and Albert believe that mining "will 'destroy our lifestyle, our culture."

Roy and Albert's dialogue in this beautifully-shot piece revolves around not just raft building, but their thoughts on the destructive impact of "new country" industrialisation on their "old country."

'Our job was to look after this country. Our job was to respect this land. It's in our dreaming. It's in our songs passed on for thousands of years. Now they want to take it all away -- the last bit of Australia: The Kimberleys,' Albert Wiggan says.

According to George Negus, the program's presenter and Co-Executive Producer with Kirsty Cockburn, the story highlights two countries, two Australias - "theirs and ours that we call progress."

"This short-film asks: Do these people stay with the old ways and continue their traditional lifestyle and culture? Or do they take the new ways and give up the very thing by which they define themselves ?" he asks.

http://www.savethekimberley.com

"There must be some places left on this planet untouched by the heavy hand of Man."

GM Banana Disrupts National Banana Conference

"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today.
Just try those coconuts
Those walnuts and doughnuts
There ain't many nuts like they.
We'll sell you two kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing.
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today."

'Yes! We have no bananas', Frank Silver and Irving Cohn [1922]

Professor Panic's genetically modified banana

The Banana Conference on the Gold Coast got off to a tumultuous start today when one of Professor Panic's genetically modified bananas escaped during the Governer-General's launch speech.

The prize specimen - known as Cav - version 2 - ran around the function room at Conrad Jupiters yelling "this is what happens if you f*ck with nature! Organic farming is the future!", before heading straight to the poker machines with Professor Panic's wallet.

Cav - version 2 was captured by security shortly afterwards, and will still participate in the conference's scientific displays.

Professor Panic was quick to explain that Cav - version 2's behaviour was not a side effect of his research and experimentation.

"Cav -version 2 saw ze Bananas in Pyjamas vandering into the cazino and vanted to join zem. I have convidenzze he vill behave himself for ze duration of ze conference," he said.

"Ve zink he vill be ok for ze Banana Ball on Saturday night. I have a very cutz little outfit for him to vear."

A batch of Professor Panic's genetically modified bananas escaped in November last year - eventually reaching the Big Banana at Ballina where they were captured and returned to the Ponds Institute's Species Deceases Unit.

The GM bananas were developed as part of Professor Panic's project to create a neverending banana.

Ode To Senator Fielding

Senator Fielding being interviewed by Tony Jones on last night's [3/6/09] 'Lateline'

you are Mister Popular
apart from with the Greens
even those who appear to want
an emissions trading scheme

say: heckuva job Senator
moving the debate
just like Mister Plimer
who we "lefties" love to hate

bless the onward christian "socialists"
in our Parliament House and Senate
the spin is really out of control
just ask Mister Jennett

but some of us see through
Senator Fielding's little trip
to the Heritage Foundation
not on the public tick

so good to know Australia
has leaders like you
who cares about the future?
the antinomian heresy will do!

Make MABO DAY - 3 June - an Australian Public Holiday

From 'Radical Tradition: An Australasian History Page'

Image: Photo of Eddie Mabo, superimposed
on the Torres Strait Islander flag
(in use since 29 May 1992)

Take a holiday on June 3rd to celebrate a great Australian, Eddie Mabo, who overturned the two century fiction of Terra Nullius in a ten year campaign through the courts ending in the historic High Court Mabo Judgement.

June the 3rd marks the anniversary of Mabo Day, a day that has important ramifications for Australian Society. Mabo Day is a day that is virtually unknown and ignored by most Australians.

On the third of June 1992 the High Court of Australia rejected the ridiculous notion of "Terra Nullius", that this land was not occupied before European colonisation. Eddie Mabo a Torres Strait man born on Mer in the Torres Strait and living in Townsville in Queensland conducted a ten year battle through the courts that led to this historic judgement. The Mabo Judgement states in law that indigenous Australians have by prior occupation, ownership of land where native title has not been extinguished...

http://www.takver.com/history/ph_maboday.htm

Ringmaster Dismisses City Hall Clown Ban

Your local representatives ... "here to stay"

[cue: 'Circus March' music]

Brisbane's Ringmaster has dismissed calls for clowns to be banned from the Council chambers.

The Royal Serious Persons not Clowns Association (R.S.P.C.A.) had asked Council to ban clowns from chambers, but the Ringmaster said clowns were also a State Government responsibility.

"Council meetings are nothing but a circus," said an R.S.P.C.A. spokesperson.

"These clowns may be able to perform tricks but they should be returned to the wild where they belong."

The Opposition sought bipartisan support for the ban on clowns, but the Ringmaster said that clowns were the backbone of our civic society.

"Take a good hard look at yourself Beppo," he said.

"The clowns are here to stay."

Calls For 'Breeding Squares Only' Apartments

Think outside the square

An Australian property developer has created a faux-controversy with his call for architects to build 'Breeding Squares Only' apartment complexes.

Mr Apartment-heid said when it came to publicity, the property industry needed to take advantage of supposed slow news days and think outside the square i.e. make sh*t up.

"I anticipate all manner of outrage and uproar in response to my 'Breeding Squares Only' concept, especially by mentioning single mothers, university students and loud parties and gays," he said.

Mr Apartment-heid denied his 'Breeding Squares Only' concept discriminated against certain groups.

"Residents will be able to watch 'Queer Eye For The Straight Guy'," he said.

Community Group Supports Decision To End Fuel Subsidy:

Community Action For Sustainable Transport: Media Statement [2/6/09]

South-East Queensland community transport group, Community Action for Sustainable Transport Inc. [CAST] supports Premier Bligh's decision to abolish the State's 8.3 ¢ a litre fuel subsidy.

This fuel subsidy was introduced as the result of a unique set of circumstances. Until 1997 State Governments used to levy Business Franchise Fees on tobacco, beer and petrol. In 1997 the High Court declared that these business franchise fees were effectively customs and excise, and that because the Commonwealth has the sole power to levy customs and excise under the Constitution, these franchise fees were unconstitutional.

The States then asked the Commonwealth to exercise its customs and excise power to collect the funds that were previously raised by Business Franchise Fees and to pass the funds back to the States. The Commonwealth could only do that with a uniform tax. So, those States like Queensland, which didn't have the maximum amount or didn't have one at all, would have had to increase their prices when the Commonwealth came in and levied a uniform rate. So the Commonwealth collected a uniform fee on petrol and a State that didn't have a Business Franchise Fee on petrol, and then paid the funds to the fuel operators so the fuel price remained unchanged.

Peter Beattie wanted an 8 cent a litre subsidy scheme in Queensland, purely for political reasons. It was because of Peter Beattie's failure to appreciate that this subsidy was neither logical nor rational, that the State agreed to pay over $5 billion of taxpayers' funds to the oil companies over a period of more than 10 years.

These funds could have been used to -

* eliminate public transport fares completely [now raising $245M annually] and

* provide up to $250 million every year for new rolling stock, or

* commence and complete a new rail line to Redcliffe, and

* provide and operate 500 QR rail buses to transport commuters from their homes to suburban railway stations, and

* provide additional services by funding QR to employ more drivers.

CAST now calls on the State Government to apply these funds to improve public and active transport services and infrastructure in Queensland. These funds must not just vanish into general revenue or be spent on road infrastructure.

Big Ted Drinking Gambling Outrage

Big Ted ... "No Comment"

[Cue: 'There's A Bear In There']

Little Ted has spoken out about Playschool star Big Ted's drinking and gambling problems.

"He's supposed to be a role model but I can tell you there is hardly one RSL or club he hasn't visited," said Little Ted.

"Every time we'd pull up to a club he'd tell me he was just ducking in to buy tickets to the Kevin Borich express, and I'd be waiting and waiting in the car - it got really hot in Big Ted's 120Y with all the windows up," said Little Ted.

"Pretty soon I cottoned on that he was spending all his money on the poker machines and getting rip roaring drunk. I can't count the times there wasn't any money left for hot cocoa and vegemite soldiers for tea time."

Jemima and Humpty

Little Ted said that after a while Big Ted got Jemima and Humpty hooked as well, telling them it would be fun and they might win something in the prize cabinet or the meat tray raffle.

But Humpty said his eight cents a day didn't go very far, while Jemima questioned why the Greens were attacking Playschool.

"Haven't they got anything better to do?" she asked.

A spokesman for Big Ted has denied the allegations and said Little Ted is motivated by malice and jealousy.

"That Little Ted is real little $#%%%&," he said.

Blighty: "All Stock Must Go"

Some Queenslanders ... "gobsmacked"

Blighty has announced a massive liquidation sale as part of this month's state Budget.

"All stock must go!" she said, spruiking from outside Parliament House this morning in a funny little hat and scaring all the hobos, students and ibises.

"Hurry Hurry! It's all gotta go! No offer refused!"

Some Queenslanders were reportedly "gobsmacked" at Blighty's announcement.

"We had no idea it would be such a a fire sale. Boy, oh boy, we're really going to give them curry at the conference this weekend," said some - their rectangular framed glasses fogging up.

"But not the curry at the Public Service Club," they said.

"No one touches the Public Service Club."

Meanwhile, other Queenslanders questioned the logic of selling off state owned assets during a financial crisis.

"It's like owning your own house, then selling it to rent it back - with the knowledge that the rent is going to go up every month and the new owners won't look after it properly," they all said.

"Shut the f*ck up!" said the corporate media, Radio Rupert and all the rectangular framed glasses wearers who work on George Street.

**BRISBANE CITY COUNCIL COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT**

Free Hazardous Waste Collection at Willawong Transfer Station
1 June 2009

Brisbane City Council is asking residents to take stock of hazardous household items by clearing out backyard sheds, garages, kitchens and bathrooms.

Residents will have access to a free hazardous waste collection point at Willawong Transfer Station on Saturday 6 June from 8am to 3pm.

Acceptable items for disposal include:

Pesticides
Fire extinguishers
Old car batteries
Gas bottles
Petrol
Oil
Aerosol products
Pool chemicals
Solvents and paint

Residents are also encouraged to deposit everyday household chemicals such as bleach, oven cleaners and paints, which can become hazardous.

Dumping of hazardous waste in wheelie bins can be harmful to the environment and Council collection workers who are helping to keep our city clean.

Council provides residents with four hazardous waste collection points each year as part of it's Green Heart CitySmart program, working towards a cleaner, greener Brisbane. The next collection will be held by Council on Saturday 5 September at the Nudgee Transfer Station on Nudgee Road.

Collection details

Venue: Willawong Transfer Station
Sherbrooke Road, Willawong

Date: Saturday 6 June

Time: 8am - 3pm

For more information, visit www.brisbane.qld.gov.au or phone Council on 3403 8888.

Swine Flu Question Mark Surrounds Titanic Death

Captain Stubing ... Tamiflu on the Pacific Princess?

[Cue 'My Heart Will Go On' from the Hollywood blockbuster]

The passing of the last surviver of the Titanic tragedy has raised concerns that her death may have been caused by a conspiracy related to Swine Flu.

According to Dr Bo Gus, whose book, 'I Don't Think It Was An Iceberg', which explores the sinking of the Titanic from the perspective of a random selection of individuals who had no connection whatsoever with the ship, many passengers on the Titanic contracted Swine Flu and were so embarrassed that they deliberately caused the ship to sink.

[Insert Irish Jig scene from the Hollywood blockbuster]

"This latest - and last death - suggests a massive coverup," said Dr Bo Gus.

"Many questions remain unanswered. For example, Captain Stubing would not confirm or deny whether stocks of Tamiflu were available on the Pacific Princess."

But health authorities have dismissed there is a link between the death and the recent outbreak of Swine Flu on the Specific Yawn.

Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet could not be contacted for comment.

"I blame Susan Boyle," said someone.

[Conclude with instrumental excerpt from 'My Heart Will Go On']

Senator Barnaby Denies Royal Copenhagan Banana Split

Senator Barnaby ... "politics is unreal"

Maverick Firebrand Renegade Senator Barnaby has denied he would not share a Royal Copenhagen banana split with the Opposition Ternbill.

Senator Barnaby says that the Government's Extreme Green Nirvana Monkey Trading Scheme (E.T.S) didn't have enough extra nuts or topping, so he didn't want to share.

"Just because I am a maverick firebrand renegade Senator from Queensland does not automatically mean I eat banana splits," he said.

"If I can't get my hands on one of those world famous strawberry sundaes from the EKKA, I'll settle for a small scoop of vanilla ice-cream with strawberry topping, and who knew I could wax so lyrically about the Greens?"

The Supposed Climate Change Minister said the Opposition were trying to cover up Senator Barnaby and the Opposition Ternbill's split over banana splits.

"Now we'll have to deal with the cross dressing senators," she said.

HOME