Gold Coast Politicians Solve Noise Problem

"… And in the naked light I saw
10,000 people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no-one dares
Disturb the sound of silence …"

'Sounds of Silence', Simon and Garfunkel [1965]

A typical Gold Coast resident enjoying the relaxed and tranquil waterfront lifestyle

Residents of Labrador on the northern end of the Gold Coast breathed a collective sigh of relief today that their elected representatives have finally resolved noise issues in the suburb.

Local and State politicians agreed today that all Gold Coast residents should have their ears cut off.

"We all know that despite what Mayor Marathon says about imposing speed limits and marine exclusion areas, in this era of peak oil and anthropogenic climate change, ear amputation is the only way ... hang on... that'll be Ritchie Rich of Poncing Towers by the Broadwater.... " said Politician A running to her phone.

"Yeah, whose interests do you think we represent?" asked Politician B.

Mr Ritchie Rich said he was "relieved" that a solution had been reached.

"Residents of Poncing Towers have suffered terribly over the past few years because our buildings absorb all of the noise from all of the jet skis used on the Gold Coast," he said.

"But only the noise from jet skis, certainly not noise from speeding jet boats and the endless parade of helicopters - that's music to our ears - which we won't have to worry about after next Monday anyway," he explained.

"It's been a real ordeal for my family when we're on our balcony overlooking the Broadwater, trying to barbeque on our Gaylord 2000. The sight and sound of cashed up bogans coming and going on their jet skis terrifies our Pouffeneys too."

Having no ears means Gold Coast residents will also no longer have to put up with noise from neverending and unnecessary road construction and expansions, four-wheel-drives screaming down local streets and activity relating to bizarre and anally retentive gardening maintenance including leafblowers and chopping down trees.

In related news, Worthlesses has announced it is going to save the Gold Coast's environment by changing its customers' bad behaviour.

Vouchers for ear amputations will be available as of next Monday from the offices of State and Local politicians across the Gold Coast.

Grow Your Own Lunch

Respected Brisbane horticulturist and educator Linda Brennan has a philosophy that if you teach a person to grow their own food then inspire some easy recipes for home-grown food, they need never have a boring lunch again.

Linda's favourites for summer lunches from your garden or balcony pots include: easy to grow perpetual spinach - wonderful in home-made feta and spinach tarts; and Lebanese eggplants made into a tasty eggplant dip. (These are great when dipped with home-made black olive biscotti.)

Creating a lunch with produce picked straight from your garden is not only delicious, it's nutritious and satisfying in more ways than one.

"Summer is really the best time to grow so many foods in Brisbane. The warm temperatures create ideal growing conditions and your salads and fruits grow so much quicker. Yes we do have insects to contend with, who all like to share our food, but these are easily dealt with using organic means," says Linda.

What about saving $15 or $20 per kg and growing your own mesclun mix? You could be picking in just a few weeks. Cos lettuce and wonderful herbs and leaves like French sorrel and sheep sorrel are delicious. A great salad bar can be grown in a tiny space the size of a barbecue.

Linda is recognised as the 'Queen of Green' among many who attend her Home Harvest Workshops at Mt Coot-tha and Roma Street Parkland.

"Not only do we need to have fun growing food, we also learn how to cook sub-tropical foods from the garden," she says.

The next Home Harvest gardening workshops start on 6 February 2010. They cover 'Naturally Good Summer Vegies' and 'Foundations of Fertility' - How to create 'growing' soils using natural methods like home grown soil improving plants, composting and worm farming.

Bookings are essential for all workshops.

http://www.ecobotanica.com.au/

Say No To More Inter-Basin Water Transfer By NPI Pipeline:

Joint Media Release [29/1/10]

Reports indicate that Minister Garrett could make a decision on the $500 million Northern Pipeline Interconnector Stage 2 by 12th Febuary and in response, local groups concerned about the health of the Mary River and Great Sandy Strait are feverishly writing submissions to Minister Garrett to ask him to say No to the pipeline.

"The proposed pipeline is quite simply a waste of taxpayers money. It's over designed, unnecessary and will damage the fragile Mary River environment," said Glenda Pickersgill from the Save the Mary River Coordinating Group.

"Interesting that the 12th February is also the closing date for public submissions to the draft 50 year SEQ water strategy. Here we are still seeing a high water use target of 230 L /p/day and the statement "options to make use of strategic reserve in the Mary Basin will be investigated, including an upgrade of Borumba Dam and water harvesting"

"This is the same Mary River environment which Minister Garrett said was in need of further protection."

"We need to send a clear message that more interbasin transfer from the Mary catchment is not acceptable to our community or the health of our Mary River. The Water Resource Plan for the Mary River needs to be redone. It is already over allocated and has low dissolved oxygen and elevated salinity levels about EPA guidelines now during low flows (July-Nov months) and particularly during dry years." said Ms Pickersgill.

The Northern Pipeline Interconnector enables water from the Mary River catchment to be used in homes in Brisbane. This can already happen through the first stage of this pipeline which connects to Baroon Pocket dam. If Minister Garrett were to give approval of stage 2 the South East Queensland Water Grid will have access to Noosa's water supply and to the Mary River.

The Northern Pipeline Stages 1 & 2 is planned to access up to 24, 000ML per year from the Mary River, based on current water allocations. The pipe proposed for the NPI Stage 2 is 1.2m in diameter, a size which local engineers say will enable it to pump a much larger volume of water.

"If the full 24,000ML were used it would mean an unprecedented level of extraction from the Mary River. Given what we know about the vulnerability of the river to low flows this is a serious concern which has not been adequately addressed by the proponent, LinkWater Projects." said Darryl Stewart, President of the Greater Mary Association.

"We mustn't forget that the water is not needed in Brisbane. By admission of Queensland Government representatives, Brisbane has sufficient water for about another decade. Taking water from the Mary River is not the answer for providing water security beyond then," explained Mr Stewart

"One thing the campaign to stop Traveston Crossing dam taught us is that we are all connected along the length of the river. The extraction of this additional water will be devastating all the way to the Great Sandy Strait."

www.savethemaryriver.com

ACF Urges A Clean, Green Budget [29/1/10]

The Australian Conservation Foundation (ACF) has today called for the removal of billions of dollars of fossil fuel subsidies and investment in a clean, low carbon economy and the environment in its Federal Budget submission.

“It’s time to invest in a clean, low carbon economy essential for longer term prosperity and wellbeing in Australia and to stop subsidising pollution,” ACF Executive Director Don Henry said.

“The Fringe benefits tax (FBT) concessions for company cars and subsidies for fossil fuel use are tax rorts costing Australian taxpayers more than $2 billion dollars per year while damaging our environment,” said Mr Henry.

“Company cars should be taxed according to how efficient they are, rather than the current system which rewards drivers who drive more. Australia’s wealthiest mining companies also should not be getting tax-payer subsidies for cheap fuel under the ‘Fuel Tax Credit Program’ which costs over five billion dollars per year,” he said.

ACF is calling for investment in:

Energy and water efficient houses and businesses;
Boosting solar power and cogeneration through a national feed-in tariff;
Sustainable transport funding, prioritising public and active transport; and
A National Biodiversity Conservation and Climate Change Fund to build the health of Australian ecosystems to protect them from the impacts of climate change.

Read our full submission here »

2008-09 Annual Financial Disclosure Returns:

AEC Media Release [29/1/10]

The 2008-09 annual financial disclosure returns from political parties, associated entities, donors and third parties who engage in political expenditure will be released for public inspection on Monday 1 February 2010. The annual returns will be available on the Australian Electoral Commission’s website at www.aec.gov.au.

While a top level summary of disclosed total figures is provided below, the actual returns and financial data in them will not be available for inspection on the AEC website until 9.00am AESDT on Monday 1 February 2010.

As at 21 January 2010 the AEC had received 73 political party returns with total receipts of $93,699,223 disclosed by political parties for 2008-09, compared to 73 political party returns with total receipts of $216,523,873 currently reported for the 2007-08 financial year.

The same 73 political party returns show $93,880,386 as a total expenditure for the 2008-09 financial year, compared to $213,492,720 currently reported for the 2007-08 returns.

192 associated entities reported total receipts of $716,800,790 for 2008-09, compared to 245 returns disclosing $702,561,166 for 2007-08.

37 returns of political expenditure by third parties show a total of $6,493,558 was spent on political commentary, advertising, polling or other research for 2008-09 compared to 75 returns for 2007-08 showing total expenditure of $51,333,987.

229 donors completed returns for 2008-09 disclosing total donations of $10,294,507 compared to 409 returns for 2007-08 disclosing $26,425,088 donated to political parties.

Apart from associated entities, the amounts disclosed are significantly less than for 2007-08 because that year covered a federal election and the Gippsland by-election. The only electoral events in 2008-09 were the by-elections in Lyne and Mayo.

President Obama's First 'State Of The Union' Confirms Support For Tobacco Industry

'Spring Hill Voice' brings you our exclusive views on the US president's first 'State Of The Union' address

President Obama's smoking addiction was a bit of talking point prior to his election in November of 2008. Completely useless and crap media masquerading as real journalism tried to pretend that he was going to give away the deadly habit when elected. But he has mollified his real supporters and even come out stridently in favour of the killer industry in his 2010 'State of The Union' address:

"We do not give up. We do not quit....I don't quit."

Aside from confirming his commitment to the smoking habit, the President of the USA didn't really say anything of substance. However, we are able to cut and paste some highlights in a 'Spring Hill Voice' EXCLUSIVE! cut and paste journalism expose.

He and his government see the economic realities and obviously take them seriously:

"the effects of the recession put a $3 trillion hole in our budget. All this was before I walked in the door. (Laughter and applause.)"

As they do with the reality of climate change:

"So, as temperatures cool, I want everyone to take another look at the plan we've proposed."

The President made some very solid promises about market-based health care:

"By the time I'm finished speaking tonight, more Americans will have lost their health insurance. Millions will lose it this year."

His views on the spirit of selfless Americans willing to do anything to bring sexual depravity to loser countries:

"And it lives on in all the Americans who've dropped everything to go someplace they've never been and pull people they've never known"

There was much, much more but you don't need to care about that. That's what we, your trusty media, are here for!

God Bless America! You may have noticed that he hasn't taken a single dollar from the Military Industrial Machine, or maybe you didn't.

Midori: The Tipple Of Choice When Words Don't Mean Anything Anymore

Carpe Diem: For most people drink it once, then never again!

New "MyCountry" Website Breaks Internet

My country right or wrong?

The Deputy Julia says that the Government's new "MyCountry" website broke the internet this morning because of the huge demand.

The website collates league tables of countries and allows citizens to quickly check and know for sure whether their country is stupid.

Countries are ranked on a stupidity index by comparing performance on a number of criteria including adherance to neoliberal policies, number of publicly funded sports stadiums, kilometres of highway per capita, ability of citizens to detach themselves from glaring environmental destruction, degree of corporate ownership of political representatives, veneer of equality covering insidious bigotry and sexism, participation in illegal invasions and media concentration.

"The data on the website will only ever be used for good," said the Deputy Julia.

"This is because the website allows us to work hand in hand with the corporate media to stigmatise and demoralise nations so that we can then make fun of them and use the information to support any policy we choose."

Citizens of countries who rate poorly on the website will not be able to do anything about their country's rating and will be perceived as solely to blame.

Despite breaking the internet, the "MyCountry" website has already returned millions of dollars of google ads to the Federal Government.

Opposition Tony Defends "Personal Is Not Political" Policy

'Splendor in the Grass', an American movie from 1961, tells a story of sexual repression, love, and heartbreak. Written by William Inge, who appears briefly as a Protestant clergyman, the film was directed by Elia Kazan.

... Mrs. Loomis: Now Wilma Dean. Bud Stamper could get you into a whole lot of trouble. And you know how I mean. Boys don't respect a girl they can go all the way with. Boys want a nice girl for a wife. Wilma Dean, you and Bud haven't gone too far already, have you?
Deanie: No, mother.
Mrs. Loomis: Tell me the truth, Wilma Dean!
Deanie: No, Mom, we haven't gone too far.
Mrs. Loomis: That's a relief.
Deanie: Mom...is it so terrible to have those feelings about a boy?
Mrs. Loomis: No nice girl does.
Deanie: Doesn't she?
Mrs. Loomis: No, no nice girl. ...

Well-known women's rights activist the Opposition Tony says his recently revealed 'Personal Is Not Political' policy should not be taken personally.

But his interview in this month's 'Weekly Not Monthly' magazine has sparked faux outrage from another well-known women's rights activist the Deputy Julia.

"On behalf of the women of Australia, I am outraged by the Opposition Tony's 'Personal Is Not Political' policy," she said.

Defending his 'Personal Is Not Political' policy, the Opposition Tony said it did not apply to the Deputy Julia, and suggested she might want to extend her reading beyond the Murdoch press.

"Like my "compassionate bastard" approach to illegal people, I am trying to honestly articulate that there are two types of women, damned whores and god's police," he said.

"And to be honest and upfront about it, I'm just saying what the government thinks about gender relations - and that includes the Deputy Julia."

Although Australian women have more pressing concerns than keeping their hymens intact, such as access to abortion and the right to give birth the way they choose, it is clear any sensible debate on these issues will either be smothered or directed and manipulated by creepy old men.

Eternal Lies

less than 200 metres from the peak
a crushing fear
vertigo?

something about Wollumbin
clambered over and stomped through
to test one's endurance
a past annihilated

yet bad business reverberates
in the landscape
through the rocks, trickling creeks, trees and animals
all around

violence manifests itself early one January morning
blood runs cold as the broken ones depart the campground
a father plays the didgeridoo
silence descends and we sleep fitfully

until it is properly acknowledged
and our forefathers are forgiven by those they set out to destroy

we are cursed forever more

perhaps we ought to think
before we climb

Moss Garden, Mebbin National Park

Vindaloo Against Violence

Dine at your local Indian restaurant on Wednesday 24 February 2010.

Let’s find a way to show support for the Indian community and signal that we will not turn a blind eye to violence in our city.

This violence threatens all Melburnians’ sense of safety and pride in their home. I want the Melbourne Indian community -and all immigrant communities – to know that they are welcome and entitled to feel safe here.

How cool would it be if Melbourne displayed a show of force by all going out and eating Indian food on a certain night, to embrace and show solidarity with our local Indian community?

Let’s do it!

What's Happening On Fraser Island?

Last October there was an interesting petition lodged with the Queensland Parliament:

Queensland residents draws to the attention of the House action taken by the Department of Environment and Resource Management (DERM) officers in the raid accompanied by a police officer at Rainbow Beach QLD on the 25 August 2009 at 7am to the residence of Jennifer Parkhurst, Wildlife photographer/author and member of the National Dingo Recovery Program. Your petitioners therefore request the House to ensure that:

1. All video, photographs, field notes, personal letters etc be returned immediately.
2. A report on all activities for the last 7 years from DERM rangers on Fraser Island regarding hazing and shooting of the dingoes.
3. An independent and transparent investigation into the management of Fraser Island by QPWS (DERM).
4. An alternative report to the recent report of the Fraser Island Dingo Management Strategy from qualified people, such as vet’s researchers, indigenous owners, local residents etc who have a better knowledge of the Fraser Island dingo.
5. All rangers be given opportunity to express their feelings anonymously about current management strategy.

Why Did Penny Cancel?

ALP demonstrates yet again that they are terrified of The Greens:

Greens welcome Garnaut backing

Australian Greens Leader Bob Brown has welcomed Professor Ross Garnaut's support for the Greens proposal for an interim carbon tax until the nation finalises its carbon emissions reduction strategy.

Professor Garnaut called the proposal ‘another politically practical way forward'.

Senator Brown and Greens climate spokesperson Senator Christine Milne wrote to Prime Minister Rudd last week flagging the $23 per tonne carbon tax, to begin this July and apply only to the 1000 worst polluters in Australia.

The Greens plan comes from Professor Garnaut's report, which was delivered to Mr Rudd in 2008.

However this morning the Minister for Climate Change Penny Wong peremptorily cancelled a meeting with Senator Brown and Senator Milne in Canberra today.

"Clearly the Government's answer is ‘NO" - they are in a negative blocking mood. That is unfortunate," said Senator Brown.

Hallejujah, I'm A Bum!

Fuck you Labor governments and your fear mongering about the health system (which you know you could fix in an instant) and your weaselly worded "work smarter" management talk. Jam it corporate media, ABC, industry groups and your war on Australian workers. Your unsupported, accusatory propaganda about sickies is bullshit and we are heartily sick of you:

... After the yacht Australia II won the 1983 America's Cup, a jubilant Prime Minister Hawke memorably stated: ‘Any boss who sacks a worker for not turning up today is a bum.’ ...

Theatre Of The Absurd

This block of units at Southport have been on the market for over a year, they still look empty, the property market is "HOT"!

The temperature and the hype may have been sizzling, but Sunday's matinee of Ray White's 'The Event 2010' at the Gold Coast Arts Centre was a real fizzer.

The players were insincere, the costumes (although flashy) appeared uncomfortably tight, and the audience were underwhelmed and fidgety. The two leads were aggressive and arrogant in their demands for audience participation - seemingly oblivious to the lack of enthusiasm.

The show was saved by the performance of a very elegant Chinese lady who had the chorusline scurrying hither and thither throughout every scene.

Given this lacklustre effort, the company might want to consult their Shakespeare before next month's production!

Would Only A Bully And A Thug Sue Somebody For Calling Them A Bully And A Thug?

Senator Bob Brown and Ian Cohen MLC, Byron Bay High School [23/1/10]

"... Little blue planet
In great need of care
Crystal clear streams
Lots of clean air
Let's save the Earth
What a wonderful thing
Let it be forever green ... "

'Forever Green' is from Antonio Brasileiro, the final album by Antonio Carlos Jobim, released days after his death in 1994

Senator Bob Brown will meet with the Federal Minister for Climate Change on Monday afternoon to discuss the Greens proposed interim carbon tax.

This and other issues were canvassed during Saturday night's [23/1/10] fundraiser for Ian Cohen MLC, who has a legal bill of more than $1 million for speaking his mind about development and politics.

A few hundred locals and supporters turned out to support Cohen, and enjoyed Senator Brown's presentation of stunning photographs from his recently published book 'Earth'.

Local band The Hottentots serenaded the crowd with their exotic tunes and reminiscences of travels in war torn lands.

Beautiful wildlife prints and paintings, a handmade hat and a portrait of Byron Bay identity Fast Buck$ were auctioned off.

Byron Shire Mayor Jan Barham interviewed Senator Brown, quizzing him about his life, activism (particularly actions relating to the Franklin Dam), freedom of speech, human rights, China, Tibet, the Dalai Lama, former NSW Premier Askin, whaling, the Federal Environment Minister (before and after he joined the ALP), the role of politicans at federal, state and local levels in making laws, and the poor reporting of environmental issues by Australia's powerful corporate media.

The more Australians who care about the future of our planet and civilised public discussion the better!

Just for fun: Why not do your own research by looking into the wonderful world of Jerry Lee Bennette?

As an aside, what happens if you Google "Softcock"?

Rudd's Market Paradoxes

From the Summer 2009/2010 edition of 'Dissent' magazine:

... The Rudd Government's support for extending the market in education presents some startling paradoxes.

Paradox 1: Completing the Howard/Kemp agenda of a market in education after opposing its introduction. ...

Paradox 2: Extending the market in education while blaming markets for the economic crisis. ...

Paradox 3: Following the failing UK and US market models while ignoring the most successful education system in the world. ...

Paradox 4: Supporting evidence-based policy while ignoring the evidence on markets in education. ...

Paradox 5: Advocating reporting school results to improve transparency while denying public input into how results should be reported. ...

Paradox 6: Extending the market in education while weakening national equity goals in education. ...

We Still Love You Bernard!

The monomedia may have turned against Bernard Tomic, but Gold Coasters think he's tops and hope he gets a good night's sleep when he comes home [Gold Coast Highway 24/1/10]

Opposition Tony Reveals Logical, Well Thought Out, Caring Position

Getting into the spirit of Australia Day with the new "compassionate bastard" approach

The Federal Opposition Tony says a new "compassionate bastard" approach is the only way to deter refugees fleeing war torn countries from trying to get to Australia by boat.

In a speech to the Flag Wavers Guild last night, the Opposition Tony said that given Australia Day was just around the corner, he wanted to move the manufactured arguments about refugees as far to the right as he possibly could.

Invoking the Aussie spirit of former Prime Ministers such as Sir Robert Menzies, the Opposition Tony said that he wished he and his spin doctors and media advisers could have come up with another way of saying 'we will decide who comes to this country and the circumstances in which they come'.

"We hold these truths that the way this mean, bigoted and racist statement resonated throughout the monomedia was self-evident," he said.

The Opposition Tony went on to explain that his "compassionate bastard" approach creates two different types of illegal people. Good illegal people and bad illegal people.

"I'll leave it up to the monomedia to help you decide which is which," he said.

"I'm certainly not saying all these inflammatory things for the benefit of the national interest."

The Opposition Tony's speech also revealed a new found interest in womens' rights.

"Things will be so much better for Australian women when I am Prime Minister," he said.

What About Me?

Here at 'Spring Hill Voice' we're all for mashups, fair use and the evolution of creativity, but we think the latest AAMI television commercial, which cynically replaces the lyrics of the Australian classic 'What About Me?' with plaintive requests for no claim bonuses is tasteless and sad.

From Ben Elton's 'Meltdown' [2009]:

... Rupert stood up and, turning his back on the stage, surveyed the vast crowd. So many happy, eager faces. Many girlfriends already on boyfriends' shoulders. Comedy hats in the shape of huge bananas, earnest banners, raised plastic bottles saluting the roadies on the stage.

'Look at that,' Rupert said. 'Just look at that, a sea of placards saying that those girls want to "make poverty history". Do you see any placards saying, "and I'm prepared to pay more for my Gap clothes and my Nike shoes in order to make it happen"? Is anyone pleading for higher interest rates so that their bank can invest more in the third world? More expensive petrol so that Shell and BP won't screw the poor Africans quite as fucking viciously? No! They're bloody not. Because the people in that crowd want to make poverty history but not if they have to pay for it themselves. Not if it means sacrificing their cheap clothes, cheap food, cheap credit, cheap air travel and low taxes.'

Henry leaped to his feet, squaring off in front of Rupert. It looked as if Henry was going to hit him.

'Life involves compromises,' he shouted, 'so does principle. That is not an excuse for moral inertia!'

'Pardon?' Rupert curled his lip. 'Do I hear a politician making noise and saying nothing? How very rare.'

'Of course these people care about their own jobs and services, their homes and their well-being. But they still want some moral justice. How can you doubt it? I mean seriously, Rupert, how can you fucking doubt it? They are calling on us politicians to get off our arses and create a new mindset. To start working towards a fairer and more equitable ...'

'They are fucking NOT,' Rupert replied, raising his own voice for the first time. 'They say they are but they don't mean it. Because if they did mean it, you'd do it. You're a politician, Henry, and you know that you and your cronies will do whatever it takes to get re-elected. If sending the entire contents of the Bank of England to Ethiopia would secure you another term, you'd do it in a second. But you know that it wouldn't because if people really wanted to make poverty history they'd vote Green or Socialist or Anarchist or some other pointless silly bollocks, but they don't. What people want is low taxes and cheap money, which is why they vote Tory or New Labour or Lib Dem. Why do you think the entire media is behind this event? Every newspaper proprietor? Because they know it will change nothing. It's a joke. A party. Just like Jimmy says. Yes, people would like to make poverty history, it would be very nice, but NOT if it means taking a cut themselves. Any more than Bono and U2 want to pay the tax they've been lucky to avoid these last twenty years just by being Irish. That's why we're all fucking hypocrites. You, me, Bono, Coldplay and every bloody overexcited shop assistant in the crowd. Why the fuck should we, having condemned half the planet to living in abject misery to support what we see as a basic lifestyle, then expect to be able to strut about in Hyde Park boasting about how caring and generous we are at the same time.' ...

Why Should Gold Coast City Council Ratepayers Pay To Clean Up Stockland's Pacific Pines Central Park Lake?

This week [20/1/10] the Gold Coast's only daily paper reported that the Gold Coast City Council commenced a cleanup of the Central Park Lake at Pacific Pines which is infested with algae:

... A council spokesman said workers would use a small boat to begin scooping out the algae at the Pacific Pines Central Park lake.

Yesterday, The Gold Coast Bulletin painted a bleak picture of the popular lake, where tests have revealed that ducks and swans may have been killed by botulism, a paralytic illness. ...

[21/1/10]

Breaking The CPRS Deadlock

An email to supporters from The Greens [21/1/10]:

Dear friend,

This morning, Christine Milne and I moved to break the political deadlock on climate action.

We have written to the Prime Minister, Leader of Opposition and the key Senators proposing that we adopt Professor Garnaut's suggestion of a two year interim scheme with a fixed carbon price with no trading and no offsets.

Our proposal is a building block for future climate action that's got real teeth. If adopted, it paves the way for a much better climate change outcome.

The proposal gives half its revenue back to Australia's householders and is still in the black. Mr Rudd's CPRS pays polluters to keep polluting and ends up deep in debt.

We Greens are putting forward a constructive proposal to get Australia moving towards the zero carbon future and you can see all the details on our website.

By passing this message on to your friends you can help us build the public support we will need to convince Mr Rudd's government and two more Senators to embrace this interim solution and get Australia moving.

On our website you will find all the details on this proposal and resources to email the Minister, send letters to the editor and help out in other vital ways.

Help our Senate team make a crucial breakthrough in national climate change action!

Senator Bob Brown
Leader of the Australian Greens.

PS: We know this solution isn't perfect, but, unlike the CPRS, there is no way it can hold back climate action. It can only help get Australia moving towards a zero carbon future.

By passing on this message you can help us break the CPRS deadlock.

www.greensmps.org.au

The Sounds Of Summer

Arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

From 'Images In Aspic' by Charmian Clift [1965]:

Whatever has happened to the sounds of summer? The lazy sounds, the drowsy sounds, the indolent sounds?

To those who have time to mark variety in a world where the pace is accelerating at such a rate that variety tends to blur and lose any real definition, the four seasons, rotating still in their own capricious, disorderly, and untamed fashion, act as slyly on the senses as perfume or poetry or that haunting tune one cannot quite remember.

I was thinking the other day, how much of the essence of a season is embodied in sound. The rustling of breakfast cereal in a plate can evoke for me autumn in Kensington Gardens and idle scuffing about in dead leaves, hail on a tin roof is spring and any force of water roaring brings back wild winter days and the excitement of the rains pouring into an underground cistern. Cicadas are summer.

Last summer, and for many summers before that, in Greece, we used to lunch in the garden, and after luncheon, in siesta time, we often sat on under the thick green hang of the grapevines, immobilised in time, like the figures on Etruscan sarcophagi. Not talking. Listening.

The cicadas would shrill their chorus, and stop, and start again. From the bronze-plated mountain there was the occasional thin drift of bells ... a pad of mulesteps or the patterings of donkeys in the lane outside and the soft jingle of harness ... the clank and gurgle of a bucket at the well. Sounds just distinct enough to emphasise the silence; it washed over us like healing poured from some immeasurably vast receptacle. The scent of roses was almost audible, and every yellow nasturtium shouted glory.

I remember, one summer, watching the face of an English guest we were entertaining at the time. He had come to us a week before, from London, neurotic, pasty, anxious, drinking too much. Now in the garden his face wore an expression of rapt contemplation, like a child listening to a seashell. His hand no longer shook. The smoke from the cigarette held in brown relaxed fingers ruled straight up. His glass of wine was still untouched. He had mislaid his pill box two days before. He did not seem to feel the necessity to project any longer. He was as silent as we were, or the summer day around us. One saw how infallible was the panacea of that hot silence to the tense and troubled ones.

This summer in Australia, my first here for many years, is nearly over now and they tell me it has been a very unseasonable one. Certainly it has been different, but then with two summers strung together across the width of the world it was bound to be very different. But the most different thing about it has been my inability to find the old evocative summer sounds.

It should have been so easy, too. We live high, on a rock outcrop that is ancient and was once a tribal meeting place for the Aborigine. It is an old house, many streets removed from the busy traffic, and insulated against noise by an overgrown, dank, and rather mysterious garden. But sound rises, and there are swimming places below, so that it is holiday sounds, the sounds of an Australian summer, that come up to us.

Now, if I close my eyes this is what I hear. Four - no, five - separate motor-mowers, each with a distinct engine-note, one like a buzz-saw, which my children call The Screech, and of the others one might even be a motor scooter. Engines of cars swelling and fading. Somewhere a pneumatic drill. Television in one room and record-player in another. When these are shut off for the purpose of the exercise I hear a Cessna droning overhead, the snarl of a jet, motor launches chugging, the whine and roar of speedboats. As I open my eyes to check on the speedboats (there were two of them, each towing water-skiers) four young people pass with a transistor turned up full volume. The telephone rings, a gust of wind bangs the door, and the ice-cream van turns into our street playing a chime of 'Greensleeves' on a public-address system.

Somewhere in all this, several layers down, there are other summer sounds. Birds burbling and laughing and chiming (they are so numerous and so wonderfully exotic here, that sometimes it is a little like living in a fantastic aviary), dogs barking, children calling to each other, and beneath them again, but unheard, there must be, I suppose, other unmechanised sounds like the thump of a ball or the slow wet slap of sails, neighbours chatting, ice chinking in long glasses, waves brushing on sand, perhaps even lovers whispering (if lovers do still whisper). And under all this there is silence, which must have been the essence of this ancient place form the beginning.

Silence, I know, can be disquieting as well as therapautic. There is no deception in silence. No distortion. If you ask it a question you might only hear the pounding of your own heart. It will allow you nothing but the rare and difficult consolation of being alone with yourself, and your joys and your agonies and longings whether painful or perverse or immortal.

But I think that people probably came to this place once because of the silence, which would have been all the more profound for the bird calls rising and falling in it and the heat tripping the switch of the cicadas.

Now they bring their transistors.

It is strange to think of the immense power for invasion that lies in that tiny little battery thing, everywhere infiltrating the silent places with noise that summer holiday-makers are tying to get away from. Does silence make them uneasy now, disquieted, one wonders? Or is it that the sense of hearing has suffered permanent disablement under a surfeit of mechanical sound?

A careful watching and hearing of television commercials might offer some clue. There are some soft-voiced wheedlers, of course, but there is no continuity of employment of Sotto Voce on any of the networks, and the lure of the tempter is usually offered at a pitch well above that of ordinary human speech. The point is that from these vocal enticers one is led to believe (if one can put any faith in the fact of some sort of psychology motivating the advertisers) that summer fun, summer success, summer status - boy getting girl, girl getting boy, hostess getting praise for picnic food, Dad getting a day Away From It All or even just being admired for smoking the right cigarette, kids getting a square meal - lies in a mass of people pursuing their holiday hobbies or each other at a demented pace with stretched smiles and deranged gesticulations, singing extraordinary snatches of song to the accompaniment of the loudest possible noise, usually in a racket of highly modern machinery.

But doesn't anybody want to sit quietly any more in a quiet place, or lie in the sand or on a carpet of leaves, sun-sodden, drugged with heat-torpor, and listen to the soothing lap of water, a keel scraping on a shingle, or a bird or a single voice calling or a leaf dropping or a footstep passing or a chorus of cicadas starting and stopping and starting again. Indolent sounds. Lazy sounds. Therapeutic sounds. Sounds that used to mean summer ...

When is the last time you saw or heard one of these in South East Queensland?

Monster Bobs Up In Hope Island Canal

His tentacles are everywhere

One of Australia's most feared monsters has emerged in a canal on the Gold Coast.

"Thure uh wus, eating muh fush und chups wuth muh guhl, und uh suh thus creature un thuh wuhtah," said the New Zealand tourist who snapped the monster.

"Uh suhd tuh huhr, luhk guhl, thuhts uh monstah, uh shull take uh photo und sund ut tuh thuh unly parpah un tuhn."

A monster expert from the Ponds Institute's "Smothering Genuine Local News Stories And Making Up Shit" unit saw the picture and said it reminded him of "flukeman", a character on the 'X-Files' that lurked in the sewers, while another expert said the discovery was remarkably similar to that scene in 'Caddyshack', when a chokito scares everyone out of the swimming pool.

A spokesman from the Department of Environment's "Monster Watch" said that the monster has recently bobbed up on Fraser Island and Hervey Bay and that he was surprised anything could actually live in Gold Coast waterways.

While Gold Coast residents are either visiting or working at theme parks, the monster's effect has been resonating around South East Queensland media outlets.

The Environment Department spokeswoman said no one should ever question the legitimacy of stories in the monomedia, or the monster might retaliate.

Your Say: Wouldn't it be great if instead of having a 24-hour news channel, the ABC actually delivered resources to improve the reporting of local news? Especially on the Gold Coast?

A Hope Island real estate agent said he sincerely hoped the monster would continue supporting him in his endeavours.

A 1906 image of the monster

Historical Sightings

In the 1800s, monsters were everywhere but at least there was media diversity, according to experts.

A monster was netted and shot in 1906 following reports that cattle and dogs had disappeared. But there was still media diversity.

Monster skins made nice shoes in the 1940s, but even through the war and depression years, there was media diversity.

In 1974 hunting monsters was banned in Queensland and there was ever diminishing media diversity.

By promoting fear and hatred in 2003, monsters supported the invasion of Iraq.

Many Monster Watch websites lamented Australia's monomedia culture and its effect on democracy throughout 2009.

Grow Your Own

After his address at the National Press Club last year, who cares what the Minister for Agriculture says?

Napalm?

Poster in a shop window, Southport Central [20/1/10]

And last week the monomedia reported the RSL were jumping up and down over a swastika painted on a signal box.

Cascade Gardens, Surfers Paradise

The tree canopy above the Kokoda Memorial Track is home to a small colony of Flying Foxes

Kokoda Memorial Wall and waterfall

Lest We Forget

Resting place of Richard (Neddy) Harper (a sawyer) born in Nottingham, England 1828 (died 1896)

According to the plaque on the site:

He came from the Tweed district to establish a wharf road to cater for boats using the Nerang River to reach the settlement at Nerang. Neddy Harper's grave marks the Aboriginal camping ground of the people wiht whom he lived and whose language he spoke fluently.

At the base of the hill is the Rotary Chapel, where someone has penned their disappointment in love:

"... And I heard you crying in the chapel
On this great big happy sunny day
And I know I live in the jungle
Somethings never change ..."

'Crying in the Chapel', Peter Blakeley [1989]

What About The Condition Of Other Creeks And Waterways On The Gold Coast (Like, Say, Gee, I Don't Know, Maybe The Pimpama River)?

Gold Coast Council media release [20/1/10]: Creek condition ‘best in years’

Currumbin Creek is in the best condition it has been for years according to local businesses and community organisations.

Divisional councillors Daphne McDonald and Chris Robbins recently met with members from local groups, who said they were pleased with the outcome of the recent dredging campaign and the overall condition of the creek.

Cr McDonald said Council had dredged more than 57,000 cubic metres of sand from the creek which was used to replenish sand lost from Palm Beach following major storms last year.

“Each year, Council is authorised by the State Government to dredge Currumbin Creek for flood mitigation and beach replenishment purposes, however, due to the build up of sand in the creek, we were able to dredge more sand than in previous years,” said Cr McDonald.

“This helped to restore sand to Palm Beach which was severely eroded in May last year.”

Cr Chris Robbins said creek’s excellent condition had ensured it was a popular destination for locals and visitors during the busy Christmas holiday season.

“The creek saw a large number of visitors over the Christmas and new year period and it is hard to believe that it is only seven months since severe weather decimated our beautiful beaches and washed large volumes of sediment and runoff into Currumbin Creek.”

Local professional fisherman Brad Smith said the community was generally pleased with the improvement in the creek’s health and overall quality.

“The creek is looking better than it has in a while and I think boaties are pretty happy,” said Mr Smith.

“Although it is not officially recognised as a navigable channel by the Department of Transport, the creek is still a popular recreational boating spot, and the dredging really helps.

“Keeping the estuary in good condition is not only important from an environmental perspective, it is also good for local businesses because it keeps visitors coming.”

Where Does Your Donation Go?

From 'The Automatic Earth' [18/1/10]:

... The moment Bush and Clinton became the faces of the Haiti campaign, two things became evident. 1) Much more money would come in, and 2) A smaller part of your $10 will ever reach the people who need it.

Your money has become a political tool, a way to make sure Haiti is ready to turn into prime real estate soon. Major military base. Great resort. A dozen Gitmos. All in one.

On this day, just one final question for you: What do you think Martin Luther King would have said about all of this? How do you think he would have commented on Haiti 2010? Would he have stood shoulder to shoulder with W? Or would he have stood with the people of Haiti instead? See, that I find is something interesting to think about.

Yep. The free market will fix it, so you go right ahead and book that Caribbean cruise!:

Luxury cruise ships will continue to dock at an idyllic resort in northern Haiti despite the deadly earthquake that devastated the Caribbean nation a week ago, a company said.

Royal Caribbean International (RCI), which has donated $1 million to the Haiti relief effort and is bringing in emergency supplies on its ships, has defended the move.

RCI says it is important to keep the Haitian economy ticking over despite the tragedy. ...

All Australian Citizens Encouraged To Enrol To Vote On Australia Day 2010: AEC Media Release [19/1/10]

As thousands of the newest citizens enrol to vote this Australia Day, the Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) is urging all Australian citizens to make sure they are enrolled to vote as a federal election is likely to be held sometime this year.

Electoral Commissioner, Ed Killesteyn said enrolling to vote was an important part of fully participating in Australian life and it was a concern that over 1.3 million eligible Australians are currently not enrolled.

“A federal election could be held sometime in 2010, so this Australia Day is an opportune time for all eligible Australians to make sure they are enrolled to vote or, if they have recently moved, to check that their enrolled address is up-to-date,” Mr Killesteyn said.

“Some Australians have missed out on their vote at previous federal elections because they were not enrolled, but by simply completing an enrolment form you are registered to vote in the next federal election.”

Mr Killesteyn said AEC staff would be on hand at citizenship ceremonies across Australia to assist our newest citizens to immediately take up their democratic right of enrolling to vote, and he looked forward to these new citizens joining the new Australians who have enrolled at Australian Day citizenship ceremonies over previous years.

To enrol to vote or update your enrolment simply complete and return an enrolment form, which is available on the AEC website at www.aec.gov.au, or pick up a form at any AEC office, Australia Post outlet, or at any Medicare, Centrelink, or Australian Tax Office.

It’s compulsory for all Australian citizens aged 18 years and older to enrol to vote, and you must be enrolled before you can vote in Australian elections.

The AEC website also has enrolment information translated into 26 languages and contact details for the telephone interpreter service.

To check your enrolment or find out more information visit the AEC website at www.aec.gov.au or call the AEC on 13 23 26.

Threat Of League Tables Drives Teachers To Test Ban:

Greens Media Release [19/1/10]

Teachers have been forced to consider a ban on administering the year 3, 5, 7 and 9 literacy and numeracy tests, according to Greens NSW MP John Kaye.

Dr Kaye said:

"Teachers have a right to exercise their professional consciences.

"The publication of school-by-school results next week will inevitably lead to league tables that will stigmatise schools, force teachers to teach to the tests and mislead parents.

"Federal Education Minister Julia Gillard is misusing the test. NAPLAN was never intended to provide comparisons between students, let alone schools.

"Teachers have been left with little choice but to act.

"Imposing a ban on administering the tests is the only way educators can protect their students, schools and communities from the damage that league tables would do.

"Julia Gillard and her state colleagues have refused to listen education experts, teachers and parents.

"They have ignored the lessons from the UK and the USA where so-called 'name-and-shame' education policies have undermined educational outcomes and devastated schools serving low-income communities.

"NSW Education Minister Verity Firth could have put an end to this last year by refusing to hand over the state's results.

"Instead she buckled under to pressure from Julia Gillard and put the state's schools and students at risk.

"Teachers will today weigh up the educational benefits of the NAPLAN test against the damage that league tables will do by humiliating schools that serve disadvantaged communities, undermining learning outcomes in all schools and reducing the quality of information available to parents and students.

"Australia is fortunate that it has a teacher workforce that is prepared to save this nation from the mistakes that are crippling school education in England and the USA," Dr Kaye said.

Why Commercial Radio Is So Annoying These Days

From 'Top Of Their Voices' by Jude Rogers (published in the 'Australian Financial Review' [15/1/10]:

"... Three modern vocal styles have been particularly prominent in the Western world in the past decade: the mid-Atlantic, talent show soprano; the highly processed, auto-tuned vocal; and the heavily ornamented regional accent. Their variety reminds us that a singing voice is a choice, particularly in a culture where human beings are bombarded with so many modes of delivery, phraseology and feeling. To sing is to represent our individual selves in a way we are comfortable with, to locate our identities within wider traditions.

The mid-Atlantic soprano has become one of the modern world's most bankable instruments. It has been developed since the start of pop music and has become the dominant way in which young female singers express themselves. These pop wannabes look up to the likes of Beyonce and Christina Aguilera and copy performances centred on technical tics - soaring high notes that prove their singing mettle, exaggerated warbles that indicate soul. Melisma - the passage of several notes over one syllable - is an important part of this process, a flourish first used in Catholic and Orthodox plainsong. Today's modern melismatic icons perform in stadiums instead of cathedrals and they have become the worshipped rather than the worshippers.

Carrie Grant, a professional vocal coach who has worked with Charlotte Church and Melanie Chisholm from the Spice Girls, and as a judge on the BBC talent show Fame Academy, says that young female voices have become homogenised. She thinks this has happened in the past decade. "Singers used to come in to be coached and say, 'Make me sound like myself' but now they say, 'Make me sound like someone else'."

Grant mourns the disappearance of 1970s pop, in which distinctive, soulful singers such as Randy Crawford, Aretha Franklin and Minnie Riperton coexisted, and she blames two phenomena for having a negative impact: the powerhouse tyles of Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, and the TV talent contests that promise riches and dreams. She talks about the songs with "money moments" - long, held notes near a song's climax and key changes that are meant to register an uplift of emotion.

They're meant to make us feel something, but do we actually feel anything? "We rarely do," she says. "These moments are actually about the individual going, 'Look at me, listen to how far I can push this'. It's about singing being a sport, rather than something that moves us." It's also about pushing a well-known style one stage louder, Grant says - something that Pixie Lott, Duffy and Shingai Shoniwa from the Noisettes, for example, have all tried to do since the success of Amy Winehouse.

The new singing style is also a very audible means of what the philosopher Judith Butler calls gender performativity - the reinforcement of sexual identity through reiterated acts. A melismatic, mid-Atlantic vocal style is meant to reveal a woman bursting with emotion, but who remains in control. She is, in effect, superwoman writ large.

Butler's ideas also help to explain the runaway popularity of Auto-Tune over the past 10 years. A computer program designed to correct out-of-tune vocalists artificially, but which also produces effects of its own, Auto-Tune has been used to extremes by American male hip-hop artists such as T-Pain. By delivering all his vocals through the pitch-correcting program and bending the natural glissandos of his voice into stark, jumpy shapes, he has transformed it from a means of treatment into a style in itself.

T-Pain's songs are principally priapic creatures. In Tipsy, a man tries to get a girl drunk to take her home; in I'm Sprung, a man gets horny and has to return to his woman even though she doesn't deserve him; and in Chopped and Screwed, women wrong and tease men. It is no conincidence that T-Pain's heartfelt ballads - such as Keep Going, a song for his wife and children on 2008's Thr33 Ringz - are delivered without the Auto-Tune effect. Nor is it surprising that international smash hits by fellow rappers, such as Lil' Wayne's innuendo-heavy Lollipop and Snoop Dogg's Sensual Seduction, also make sexual desire sound automated and automatic, reducing sex to machanics rather than a play of emotions. As Butler might have it, Auto-Tune helps these dirty dawgs perform masculinity. ... "

Hillary's Not Coming, But Will The PM Meet Prince?

'... Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You're on your own ..."

'Let's Go Crazy', Prince [1984]

Better Offer? The PM plans to have a beer with Prince - but it will only be a light beer!

Prince may have a full agenda, but the PM plans to have a beer with the visiting Royal as he pulls off large crowds around the country.

It was uncertain if the PM would meet Prince, but now that Hillary isn't coming he has some spare time and according to sources close to the PM, he is rearranging his busy celebrity meeting schedule.

Prince will meet a range of knobs, sycophants and clowns and pretend that he cares about his skippy subjects during his visit to the antipodes.

"Although not as exciting as Hillary, Prince has proven to the monomedia he is vastly different to the Dalai Lama," said one source close to the PM.

"On his New Zealand visit Prince demonstrated he could ignore protesters just like a true leader," said another source close to the PM.

"More importantly, Prince's diet contains a wide range of meat products, he avoids discussing climate change and other world problems, and is going to practice warmongering games, so he and the PM may just meet."

Regardless of whether or not the PM will meet Prince, the Opposition Tony is expected to give his two cents worth.

Look over there it's a baby rabbit! Oh no it's not, it's a bloody big Russian plane full of flying war machines for sale! Hooray!

Boogeyman Looks Like Leftys: Shock

Have you seen this man? He bears a striking resemblance to your eccentric neighbour who grows stuff in his backyard, or your Uncle Weird who your father says "has strange ideas", doesn't he?

"... it's not me you see
pieces of valentine
with just a song of mine
to keep from burning history
seasons of gasoline and gold
wise men fold ..."

'The Riddle', Nik Kershaw [1984]

The Boogeyman is still out there, and, by strange co-incidence, he looks like any number of surly, bearded leftys around the world according to Spies R Us.

Despite the fact that The Boogeyman is widely thought to be non-existent or dead, it is possible that he is your child's history or social science teacher.

The Boogeyman could also be that environmental activist in your university class, or the lawyer who lives down the road and does pro bono work for the poor.

As well as being tedious and no fun at all, leftys can get very cranky about the world's problems. But instead of yawning out loud and rolling your eyes when they're being boring, you might want to consider whether or not they might be The Boogeyman.

Spies R Us have a database of images of lefty politicians called the "List of Possible Boogeymen". Spies R Us also believe that as well as being physically identical, Boogeymen and leftys hold the same ideological outlook.

One thing is for certain. The Boogeyman looks like a lefty. It therefore follows logically that anyone who you suspect is a lefty, is also The Boogeyman.

- Rooters

4,000 Public Houses For Queensland By 2012 Is All Very Well, But Does Diddly Squat To Address The Ever Increasing Social Inequity In This Country

The Minister for Housing announced a terrific boost for the construction industry today [17/1/10], which has the added advantage of slotting a few hundred diehard ALP voters into certain electorates.

Does the Minister really expect us to believe today's "Good News Story" had anything to do with location equity when the Department of Housing were doing things like selling off its stock of public housing (at a loss) in places like Caboolture in the early 1990s?

If the Minister is so concerned about home owners' perceptions of public housing, perhaps she might consider having a quiet word to the editors of Queensland's monomedia publications and producers of trashy tabloid news and current affairs shows, for along with Liberal party shit stirrers, it is they who manufacture the community "prejudice and suspicion" about social housing tenants.

Will people like "Rosa" really qualify for this public housing?

"Rosa", from Chapter 7 'Low pay, housing and commuting' in 'Living Low Paid: The Dark Side Of Prosperous Australia', Helen Masterman-Smith & Barbara Pocock [2008]:

Many of the housing commuting issues affecting low-paid workers are illustrated by the experience of Rosa. She is a sole parent who provides for herself and five dependant children. She works two days a week as a room attendant at a major luxury hotel. She is paid $14.33 an hour. Because of her parenting responsibilities, Rosa has made a decision to work on a more secure permanent part-time basis rather than as a casual (and thus to forgo a casual loading on her hourly wage). In an attempt to make ends meet, Rosa also works an additional sixteen hours a week at a shop, where she is paid $10.70 an hour. She is not able to work overtime because of her family responsibilities. Her yearly wage is about $20,000. Rosa's youngest child goes to family day care for ten hours a day, five days a week. The other children attend school, for which she pays some tuition fees. She goes home to a full domestic load, without any prospect of buying services to relieve her of her second shift.

Government allowances and tax benefits increase Rosa's income by almost one-third, bringing it up to about $30,000. This includes a rent subsidy. Rosa's wages are allocated to everything else. Without government support, she could not pay the rent: 'Oh, my goodness! ... The government allowances helps a lot.'

She rents a three-bedroom house in the private market for almost $1,200 per month. For Rosa, rent 'is a burden'. Rosa's family moved into their current home six months ago. The new house is quieter and there are more rooms. The new neighbourhood is also quieter and safer. However, Rosa does not get to see her neighbours because she and they are working during the day and at night: they have no time for themselves and each other as they are 'just tired'. As she says, she 'doesn't have time for friends or neighbours as [it is all] work, work, work'.

Rosa describes her life as 'a struggle', but she also emphasises that she works hard and manages. She stresses that while it would be better if she personally had a fair, livable income, she wants to speak up for and assist others, and she does not want to be seen as complaining for herself.

Rosa's experience illustrates many elements in the low-paid story. Rosa supplies an essential service in a large city that depends on her labour. By any definition, she experiences housing stress, where she stuggles to provide a frugal life for her children, despite government rental support. Her commute in a busy congested city includes travel between two jobs, home, school and family day care. She is one of the growing number of Australians who live in sole adult households with dependants.

She is time as well as income poor. She could be employed casually, but 'chooses' against it in favour of predictable time with her children, sacrificing a loading of 20 per cent as a price for predictability, a paid holiday and sick leave. Rosa works two jobs. She will never own her own home. She feels that the demands of her workng life 'close down' and constrict her social interaction, despite the value that she places on community connections.

Rosa's experience is not unusual. Housing issues, in particular, shape the experience of working poverty in profound ways, especially amongst people less than 60 years old, even in a city like Adelaide where the housing affordability is better than in other Australian cities like Sydney.

Low paid workers' housing situations include public rental, private ownership (with mortgage) and private rental. Regardless of their situation, however, many low-paid workers find their housing secuirty is tenuous. For the majority of interviewees, the home in which they live is a significant factor in their overall level of life satisfaction. Their low wages directly impact on their level of, and prospects for, housing secuirty as well as many other aspects of their lives including their social inclusion and community engagement. Securing affordable housing is a daunting challenge for many low-paid workers across their life cycle. And the purchase of a home does not signal the end of their housing delemmas. The ongoing precariousness of their financial position often affects their efforts not only to acquire, but also to live in, maintain and keep their home. All the while, he financial pressure to meet these challenges exerts a toll on social relations within and beyond the home itself. ...

Pokie Challenge To Rudd - Say No To Political Donations From Gambling Industry: Greens Media Release [17/1/10]

Commenting on today's report that there is now one poker machine for every 110 Australians, Greens MP and gambling spokesperson Lee Rhiannon has called on Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to give national leadership on limiting the number of gaming machines and to ban political donations from the gambling industry.

"If the Prime Minister hates pokies he should stop the Labor Party pocketing millions of dollars from the gambling industry," Ms Rhiannon said.

"Over the past decade the gaming, hotel and club industry has donated more than $7 million to Labor and more than $4 million to the Coalition parties.

"While the party in government receives political donations from the gambling industry there will always be the suspicion that it is reluctant to properly address problem gambling.

"It is time the Prime Minister stopped his party inviting the captains of the gambling industry to his fund raisers and banking their cheques.

"Mr Rudd is becoming known as a talker and not a doer. His words on problem gambling sound sincere but where is the action.

"In NSW the Greens have been calling for the state government to adopt a plan to reduce the number of poker machines. The failure of state governments to act is why Australia is now ranked eight in the world for the number of gambling machines per person.

"Now is the time for the Prime Minister to step in with a national plan to reduce the number of poker machines. Mr Rudd should follow the lead of New Zealand.

"Since 2004 NZ has treated gambling as a health issue and their Ministry of Health funds and coordinates services to help deal with problem gambling.

"The alarming growth in gambling machines in Australia has largely occurred under state Labor governments. During the same period Labor party branches at the state and federal level have received record political donations from the gaming, hotel and clubs industry.

"The public perception is that something stinks," Ms Rhiannon said.

Crikey! It's A Beat-Up-Cover-Up!

A Bronzed Aussie Crikey Sculpture valued at $85,000 at Southport Park Shopping centre

The "Totally Bogus $2 Crikey Kiddies Ride" complete with memorial plaque, also valued at $85,000, also Southport Park

Steve Irwin was a buffoon. He is not a legend, a hero or a role model.

He made substantial fortune and fame from being a loud, foolish, botherer of native fauna. In the end it killed him. He may well have been a "knockabout larrikin", a "top bloke" or even "the world's best dad", but the fact of the matter is that he was a buffoon.

Some renowned person nobody has ever heard of has made a sculpture of Steve Irwin (how very original!) which is worth $85,000 even though nobody is willing to pay that amount of money for it, and so it has been placed in Melbourne's Federation Square to bother the feral pigeons. The free market works in mysterious ways.

A huge amount of land in far north Queensland which the Irwin family once had has now ended up with a bauxite miner, when it was supposed to be reserved for nature. The Queensland Government is in this up to its neck, and the monomedia are beautifully playing both sides.

What a surprise things turned out this way!

Light Tackle Masters 2010 On The Gold Coast This Weekend

We know that anyone associated with this event is always thinking about the health of local waterways, so we went and checked how the Pimpama River was faring after last week's fish kill.

The dead fish (and associated smell) were gone, but on both sides of the Kerkin Street Bridge/Weir, an algal bloom (with a distinctly vibrant green hue) is still evident, moreso above the weir.

Downstream side of the Pimpama River at the Kerkin Road Bridge/Weir [14/1/10]

Brave souls embark on a fishing trip above the weir, whilst someone (with a cast iron stomach) has left a crab pot downstream.

Interestingly, in a story right next to an article warning local boaties about fines for anti-fouling their vessels in or near local waterways, this week's local Murdoch [13/1/09] has reported:

A northern Gold Coast cane farmer fears the northern corridors growing demand for sand could cost his industry its future in the area.

The cane farming industry stretching from Woongoolba to Steiglitz is quickly being replaced with sandmining operations, a trend some believe will eventually render unviable the Rocky Point sugar mill and remaining farms. ...

Meanwhile, Gold Coast City Council has begun rubberstamping sandmines, one at Norwell Road, Norwell, one at Holmstead Road, Steiglitz, and the extension of an existing mine at School Road, Woongoolba.

These sandmining areas are in the vicinity of the Pimpama River, yet the scribe failed to mention last week's fish kill, or the fact that Rocky Point Mill provides green power to 18,000 homes, or that developers are salivating over the potential for residential developments in the area.

Something for the Queensland Premier to consider as she travels to San Francisco to discuss 'clean energy'?

Oh The Wrongity!

Political Donation Crisis Amplifies As Labor Abandons National Reform Agenda: Greens Media Release [13/1/10]

The crisis in Australia's electoral funding and disclosure system is set to worsen now that the Rudd government has abandoned passing reform legislation before the next election predicted NSW Greens MP and donations spokesperson Lee Rhiannon today.

"Labor's betrayal on campaign finance reform will only amplify the political donation crisis that is undermining Australian politics," said Ms Rhiannon.

"Special Minister of State Joe Ludwig has failed to follow through on the clear commitment of his predecessor John Faulkner that the reforms would be passed before the coming federal election.

"The public is deeply concerned about the corrupting influence that corporate donations have had on our system of democracy, and they expect change.

"Without promised reform, donation scandals will continue to rock the major parties during this federal election year.

"It is frustrating that the Rudd government has backtracked as state governments are struggling to undertake reform without a federal framework.

"Prime Minister Kevin Rudd should be driving the reform process to stem the flow of corporate money that has been so damaging to his party and the wider democratic process.

"It's not too late to resurrect Senator Faulkner's strong vision for donations reform articulated in the government's first electoral reform green paper.

"The Coalition are also implicated in the derailing of the electoral funding reform plans.

"Opposition leader Tony Abbott and his NSW counterpart Barry O'Farrell are focussed on corporate fundraising for their respective election campaigns, not donations reform.

"In NSW alone the major parties have accepted $130 million in donations during the past 10 years. The major parties' federal divisions have accepted over $140 million.

"The culture of money politics has caused the public to become deeply cynical and lose confidence in our political process.

"The major parties should be working together to keep the reform process on track," said Ms Rhiannon.

Coast's Beach Safety Journalism Work "Not Good Enough"

Beach safety journalism work is not a laughing matter

A special 'Spring Hill Voice.com' investigation by Lan Dlubber

Thousands of international tourists arriving on the Gold Coast every year are at risk because they do not know about beach safety journalism.

Although most of the dangers on Australian beaches are related to racist yobs, climate change induced erosion and the proliferation of stingers (whose venom may induce a heart attack) and four-wheel-drives, the threats posed by beach safety journalism work are being ignored by tourists.

CEO of the Surf Lifesavers, Chesty Bond admitted beach safety journalism work was becoming a problem because his organisation mainly concerned itself with beach safety.

"Like those two nippers at Northcliffe who saved that fellow the other day, surf lifesavers rescue swimmers who get into difficulty in the surf, as well as instructing swimmers to get back between the flags and get out of the surf if there is a treacherous rip or a shark," he said.

"Surf lifesavers also close beaches when conditions are unsafe so that the monomedia can get excellent tut tut photos and footage of "idiots" in the surf."

A quick check by 'Spring Hill Voice.com' for beach safety journalism pamphletts and brochures at a few backpacker hostels, before popping in for a session at the "Sex on Scene" venue at Mermaid Beach, revealed most tourist destinations were blase about beach safety journalism.

"Since when is Sven, who has lived on the Gold Coast for eight months, a tourist?" said a worker at the Tourist Bureau.

Mayor Marathon said he was shocked to learn that the beach safety journalism work threat was not being taken seriously.

"It's just not good enough," he said

"I will launch an immediate investigation into this outrage and we will get the brochures and pamphletts out to all the Svens. Council prides itself on the distribution of brochures and pamphletts."

Chief Lifeguard, Chesty Bond Mark II said that unlike the rest of Australian society the surf was not racist, but suggested that for some bizarre reason, the monomedia was depicting it as such.

Department Of Environment And Resource Management Responds To Our Enquiry

Lake Cootharaba

My question is about chemicals used around Lake Cootharaba as part of the remediation of pasture land. Near Elanda Point there was extensive clearing for native timber and later the area was used for dairy cattle. According to a sign in that area, the land was extensively cleared, ploughed and sprayed with pesticides and herbicides around 2003 and onwards then planted with native species. According to the sign, an organisation called 'Greenfleet' was involved in the program. I wondered if the Department Of Environment And Resource Management had any information on that program and could identify the chemicals used during this process?

Response [13/1/10]:

The revegetation of the Elanda plains began in 1992. This is achieved by clearing the land initially of introduced grasses and groundsel using mechanical means and the application of two herbicides. For the grasses glyphosphate is used, and for the groundsel 24D (2,4-Dichlorophenoxyacetic acid). No pesticides are used during the revegetation program. Following this the cleared areas are re-planted with native vegetation. No further herbicide treatment is applied after the initial clearing.

Between 2003 and 2008 Greenfleet was part of a cooperative program with QPWS to revegetate Elanda, although it must be noted that all ground preparation and vegetation control was undertaken by QPWS staff. Greenfleet measures sequestered carbon for the offset benefit of its clients. The revegetation program is still being conducted by QPWS.

Where Is The Gold Coast's Locally Run Solar Powered Ferry Fleet?

Feel the fear baby, cos we're gonna keep building roads and encouraging you to burn fossil fuels.

Gold Coast City Council "Community Disaster Guide"

Today [13/1/10], the Gold Coast's daily Murdoch reports that:

Ferocious storms, a sea level rise of a metre and flood water raging down Gold Coast rivers - these are all things that the city's planners have now accepted as real possibilities.

But little is being done to protect tens of thousands of homes built on land lower than the future predicted flood levels.

Coastal researcher Professor Rodger Tomlinson said many governments around the world were looking at building flood banks and flood proofing houses, but the Gold Coast City Council was yet to put measures in place for homes built before the effects of climate change were known ...

Of course nothing is actually being done to actually COMBAT climate change, but the local Murdoch doesn't mention that, because contemplating adaptation measures in "business as usual" Australia is as far as they can go.

That's why the local Murdoch, and other media outlets continually glorify motorised recreation, such as the new Seaworld Hovercraft. (Who approved this destructive and unecessary so called tourist attraction? And how do they know where all the soldier crab colonies are?)

We never see any serious action from our governments to reduce or prevent catastrophic climate change (or any questioning of the connection between burning fossil fuels and climate change in the media) because since Copenhagen was scuttled, everyone's settled into their positions, and nothing will be done.

Sailing ship and windsurfer braving the motorised mayhem. Gold Coast Broadwater from The Spit [12/1/10]

Imagine a Gold Coast where you can't swim in the surf:

... KIRRIN MCKECHNIE: The scientist has been researching jellyfish for nearly 20 years. This is one of the biggest seasons he's seen.

JAMIE SEYMOUR: Beautiful. I've caught more irukandji off the beach here at Cairns here in the last three or four days than I have in my entire career. We've seen more boxies, big box jellyfish on the beach here than I have for many, many years.

KIRRIN MCKECHNIE: For half the year the deadly jellyfish close many North Queensland beaches. Those who do brave the ocean are huddled into protective nets or forced to wear full body suits. But Jamie Seymour believes global warming will soon make the creatures a menace elsewhere.

JAMIE SEYMOUR: We're seeing it. We're seeing it now. Thirty, 40 years ago the length of the season was about a month, month and a half. The length of the season now is about five and a half to six months. And it's increasing like that as water temperature goes up. The other thing we're seeing they're getting further and further south. In the past it's been a problem for North Queensland. We don't need to worry about it. Give it time, it will be a problem down in Surfers Paradise.

KIRRIN MCKECHNIE: All it'll take he says is a rise in water temperatures of just half a degree.

JAMIE SEYMOUR: Noosa and those sorts of areas, the Sunshine Coast - the next five to 10 years I will be amazed if we don't start seeing irukandji stings down there. ...

Desperately Seeking Election Signs

From the Mt Coot-tha Greens January Newsletter:

LOST: A-FRAMES Last seen at the Qld State Elections at various Greens booths.

Please help: Our A-Frames love to wander across the electorate. They evade capture by hiding in garages, store-rooms, sheds, and under houses. A-Frames are invaluable to our campaigns and local work. They are hand-made by volunteers using their own time and resources, and so are not easy to replace. If you spot one please call or email us and we will fawn over you with gratitude and then arrange to pick it up. ...

Total Outrage Fury Bogus Hyperbole

Evandale Lake at Bundall is a pleasant, sheltered park and swimming area adjacent to the Gold Coast Arts Centre and Council Chambers. It has a small beach, clown exercise/fitness equipment, many quirky phallic shaped sculptures (and a path upon which to run or walk) barbeques, picnic areas, dunnies, showers and a peace temple from Sydney which needs some TLC.

The Murdoch press yesterday [12/1/10] claimed Gold Coast residents are "angry" at Council plans to develop the area.

It is interesting what gets people angry these days, but I doubt it's this!

In any case, Evandale Lake is one of those nice, laid back places which should be left as is.

This currawong at Evandale Park said that people who work for Rupert Murdoch are full of shite.

Cool Cats And Cold War Disasters

From 'Your Cat Could Be A Spy' by Sue Bursztynski [2006]:

"Imagine people chatting at a cocktail party at a government embassy. A glossy cat is slinking around people's legs as they drink and talk. Nobody takes much notice of him but that cruising cat is more than he seems...

In the 1960s, someone in the CIA had the idea of a cat 'spy'. Operation Acoustic Kitty was a plan to wire a cat for sound. They would implant a microphone into a cat and an antenna in his tail, and then train him to obey orders.

It was a costly project and a big mistake. Anyone who has ever owned a cat knows it won't do anything it doesn't want to do. When the cat got hungry, he went for a snack. If a female cat wandered past, he went after her. Then, when the CIA sent him off to spy on people in the park, poor Acoustic Kitty was knocked over by a car on his first day. A CIA agent rushed over to get back the equipment from his insides.

This is only one of the crazy ideas dreamed up by spy agencies during the 1950s and 1960s - a period known as the Cold War. Up until a few years ago, the CIA's files from this time were top secret - no one was allowed to see them. Now the files are open and they tell us some interesting things."

Government To Introduce "Sven" Card For Queensland Tourists

"I am Inga vrom Sveden! Please to see ze Barrief Reev. Iz it still zere?"

TransWank is developing a "Sven" Card especially for tourists to use on public transport, but has not yet revealed whether it will screw visitors to Queensland as it does regular citizens of the state.

Last night, the Tourism Authority called on TransWank to consider the accessibility and efficiency of public transport for tourists.

CEO of the Tourism Authority, Mr Con Flicted said the "Sven" Card was a good idea but stipulated it should have special features to enable tourists to get around with a minimum of fuss.

"The "Sven" Card should have a list of common phrases and greetings printed on the back such as "pint 'o lager, pack 'o crisps" and allow tourists to drink and smoke wherever they like," he said.

"We also think tourists should have the key to each city that they visit encrypted on to their "Sven" Card," he said.

Mr Con Flicted went on to explain that Queensland offered a sophisticated tourist experience.

"Not like those European cities that have free public transport," he said.

But Public Transport Lobby Group spokesman Mr Stayontrack said the "Sven" Card should not be too attractive a proposition for travellers because regular citizens might consider purchasing one.

"There should be some restrictions on the "Sven" Card such as having a daily compulsory trip to one of Queensland's many cultural attractions like the G.o.N.A.D. gallery, he said.

"And if the tourist hasn't been to Mt Coot-tha, Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary or Australia Zoo by the third day of their visit to South East Queensland, their "Sven" Card should spontaneously combust."

In related news, Queenslanders really hate their environment, even the iconic mango trees in their iconic backyards. They have also forgotten how to make green mango chutney, but they really like Weis bars and mangoes that have travelled many food miles from the Northern Territory.

In other parts of the world, a local produce abundance is celebrated - usually with festivals - rather than tossing perfectly good fruit or vegetables in the bin.

The humble backyard mango: You could share them with neighbours and friends, or compost them ....

*UPDATE* As for rubbish collection, for years that has been contracted out to private corporations. Presumably if the private corporation has agreed to a 70 kilogram limit, they are entitled to leave any bin that is heavier than this weight. Thanks to this brilliant piece of PR journalism which resonated around monomedia town today, the Brisbane City Council is now going to use your money to take away the excess.

How insane is that?

*UPDATE UPDATE* Obviously there are two types of mangoes. The industrial agriculture version - which is good:

The Queensland Government says it is trying to grow the world's best mangoes to export to growing markets including Japan and China.

The Department of Primary Industries (DPI) says the value of the Queensland mango industry last season was around $50 million dollars.

The state exported more than 2,500 tonnes of the fruit. DPI spokesman John Chapman says Australian mangoes are highly prized.

"They are the king of the fruits and we have got a serious breeding program in the department where we are trying to breed the world's best mangoes," he said. ...

And your everyday, backyard mango - which is bad.

Australia Considers Airport X-Ray Specs

Chertoff X-Ray Specs User Manual

The Federal Minister Tonka-Transport says Australia's airport security will adopt the very latest 'Chertoff X-Ray Specs' when he says they will.

In a brave show of anti-Americanism not seen since the Whitlam years, Minister Tonka-Transport has defied the visiting envoy from the Evil Empire by announcing that the 'Chertoff X-Ray Specs' machines will not be introduced immediately but will be introduced "when we decide and in the manner in which we decide".

Envoy Loot was quoted as saying:

"Ooooo, I'm like so scared of Tonka! He WILL do as he has been told and you stupid Ossies WILL be getting these Chertoff X-Ray Specs in short order. Whats more, you'll be paying top dollar for them and you'll be licking US butt more furiously now than you ever did before under that little man of steel you used to have running this joint for us. Let me give you a little hint of how things are these days: 'US forces give the nod.....'"

"You got that?"

Journalists close to sources have informed Government Ministers when, exactly, they will be introducing the 'Chertoff X-Ray Specs' but those details will only be revealed to the public when the time is right, according to sources.

Speaking of pure evil, today the media unquestioningly and irresponsibly reported that the flying spaghetti monster cured a lady of cancer. A cruel kick in the guts to anyone currently battling cancer, or anyone who's lost a family member to cancer.

Pine Ridge Reserve/Coombabah Environment Park:

Gold Coast's Last Remaining Patch Of Natural Dune Vegetation

"Every one of the solutions to global warming is difficult because every cause of the crisis is deeply ingrained in patterns of behavior, commerce, and culture that have built up over long periods of time. Every one of the solutions is made more complex by the political and geopolitical complications that have long frustrated constructive action. In the case of deforestation, one of the principal difficulties has been the deep division in the modern world between wealthy, industrialized countries - mostly in the Northern Hemisphere - and poorer, less-developed countries - mostly in the tropics and subtropics. The reasons for this disparity in wealth are, of course, rooted deeply in history and geography - and are compounded by the bitter legacy of colonialism."

Al Gore 'Our Choice: A Plan To Solve The Climate Crisis' [2009]

Pine Ridge Reserve is located on Oxley Drive at Hollywell:

A place of tranquility, rare vegetation and abundant bird, reptile and insect life.

Antlion Lacewing Myrmeleon spp. Larval Pit

Plaque commemorating construction of retaining wall surrounding and protecting indigenous cultural site. (You can see the remains of shells)

There are many majestic gum trees within the reserve, but we didn't spot any koalas, although there was a plaque commemorating the 2005 road upgrade:

And a sign marking out the car park:

The plaque benealth the "Coombabah Carpark" sign was more interesting:

"Officially opened 1996. The name Coombabah is derived from the Yugambeh Aborigianl word for the Tereda worm which was plentiful in the water logged timber once found around here. The local term for this worm was pronounced Goomba Kambo or Gambo. To the local Kombumerra people who also recognise this ridge as a dry pocket of land, this worm was a delicacy that ranked with oysters. Other foods found in this area included shellfish, such as mudwhelks, oysters and cockles. Over many years discarded shells from these meals formed shell mounds which can be found throughout Coombabah environment park."

The reserve is a beautiful place for a walk or a picnic.

So once you've gobbled your McAnus burgers, make sure you leave your rubbish behind.

Your government doesn't care about pollution so why should you?

Poor Health Of Collie's Rivers Are The Hidden Cost Of Coal:

Greens Media Release [8/1/10]

The Greens have accused the coal industry of being the likely culprit following reports of the Collie River becoming choked with toxic weed caused by low water levels.

"The coal industry's highly unsustainable dewatering of local aquifers to allow open-cut mining and the massive amount of water needed by Collie's coal-fired power stations for steam and cooling has spelt disaster for Collie's waterways," said Greens (WA) water spokesperson Alison Xamon MLC.

"The Department of Water has estimated that the water table in parts of the Collie Basin is more than 50 metres below its pre-mining state.

"This undoubtedly is a key factor in the Collie River and its tributaries' poor health - and I hear reports it has caused Collie residents' bores to run dry too.

"To quote the Department's Upper Collie Water Allocation Plan, released in August last year, 49 Gigalitres of water is licensed for dewatering for coal-mining in the Premier subarea each year, in a location that receives only 2.2 Gigalitres annually of recharge via rainfall.

"This means, according to the Department, that licensed dewatering in this area is 2000 times the sustainable allocation limit.

"Therefore any suggestion that dewatering and water consumption by local coal-fired power stations is not affecting the local environment and people's amenity is laughable.

"The State Government has been pushing for more coal-mining and coal-fired power plants in Collie, as well as throwing its support behind a proposal for a highly polluting urea plant that will need an extraordinary 12 Gigalitres of water-a-year to run.

"There is just not enough water available locally for this. In the light of these impacts, the recent Griffin Coal woes and obvious major greenhouse gas emissions associated with Collie's coal mining and power generation, it's clear that there is an urgent need for a Government-led transition towards more sustainable economic drivers in the Collie region.

"The Greens are calling on the State Government to immediately start planning a transition strategy for the future of workers and families in Collie so that they can be supported and trained in a move to a sustainable regional economy," Ms Xamon said.

"We could be looking at exciting projects such as a solar thermal plant east of Collie, wind turbines along the southern Swan Coastal Plain and sustainable tourism, biomass and other industries.

"Collie's construction, maintenance and electricity-trained workers are well placed to make the transition to renewable-based jobs - if there is appropriate political leadership."

"Collie workers and their families deserve this protection for their futures," Ms Xamon concluded.

Groundbreaking Research Identifies New Uses For Queensland Bananas

He gets around: Professor Panic's Cav - version 2

Bananas are not, and never have been, a staple in Queensland households, but up to 30 per cent of the fruit is wasted because Australia has too much competition in the household grocery sector, a new study has shown.

The head of ground-breaking research, spin, PR and "new studies have shown" studies at a prestigious institute has confirmed that bananas are a real problem.

Professor Panic of the Ponds Institute's Species Deceases Unit, who developed the world renowned genetically modified banana Cav - version 2, has devised new ways for Queenslanders to use bananas in the wake of the shocking new findings arising from the new study.

According to the new study there are two massive supermarket chains in Australia's supermarket duopoly. The new study suggests that this represents an unhealthy level of competition and, as a direct result, several tonnes of bananas must be thrown away every day.

Professor Panic said that the waste was mostly a PR fiction.

"Sheeeez, you stooopid still already or vhat? Zee clowns vill poorchaze vhatezer zee 2 zoopermucketz vill zell zem, and zey vill pay vhatever zey must!" he said.

"Zee new study has shown zat vee really only need vun zoopermarket, two is two many!"

Professor Panic suggests that anyone who has trouble swallowing this story could reverse the digestive process by commencing with the raw banana inserted into the other end of their digestive tract.

GM industries Inc Pty Ltd is believed to be pleasantly surprised by the latest findings from the latest pro-GM new study.

Dead Fish Pimpama River

*UPDATE* [8/1/10] Channel 7, NBN and the on-line 'Gold Coast Bulletin' (not the print version) have reported on this story unsatisfactorily over the past day or two, providing no real answers or information. Where's the local ABC? Where are the State and Federal Environment Ministers and Queensland Senators? Where are the Greens' candidates for the upcoming Federal election?

And where are the local political representatives? Councillor Donna Gates, Michael Crandon MP and Stuart Robert MP? Sure it's summer holidays, but isn't a major poisoning of a waterway that is a crucial part of the ecosystem in your electorate/division important enough to warrant some leadership and governance to get to the bottom of this? Arranging for contractors to remove the dead fish is a start, but what about the cause?

Who's running this place? Obviously our elected representatives just don't care.

And as for the Department of Environment and Resource Management saying it will take a couple weeks for the test results to be revealed. Why does it take that long? Surely this should be treated with some urgency?

Channel 7 News reported a fish kill in the Pimpama River on 7/1/10. What could have caused this? Who might be responsible? This is an old farming area, and apart from the neverending proliferation of housing estates, the only recent additions are the Pimpama Recycled Sewer works and the Energex destruction of marine plants. The water lock under the bridge is fairly new too. Perhaps the recent king tides caused something yukky to flow downstream from the lock?

There were about 80 - 90 rotting fish carcasses beneath the bridge (there is a Gold Coast City Council sign at the site which says "Flood Structure 5") at Kerkin Road, Pimpama [about 5 pm on 7/1/10]

On both sides of the bridge (which is some kind of tide gate) the water looked and smelled disgusting - particularly upstream where it appears as if a blue green algae bloom has flourished. The birds were quizzical.

Pimpama Recycled Water Plant, Kerkin Road, adjacent to Pimpama River

"Gold Coast Water is installing a new sewerage network instrastructure in this area for the Pimpama Coomera Waterfuture Master Plan". Intersection of Yawalpah and Kerkin Roads.

"Marine Plant Permit. This is to certify that ENERGEX is authorised to remove, destroy and damage marine plants and rehabilitate at the prescribed area in accordance with permit number 20090B366".

Also adjacent to Pimpama River

Pimpama River, beneath the South East Freeway at Ormeau. No sign of dead fish, but water rather turgid.

Get The Hell Out Of Dodge

Ilargi from 'The Automatic Earth' writes [4/1/10]

... You can sell a president through an effective marketing campaign. You can also sell his policies the same way. Neither the man nor the measures need truthfully be anything like the image you paint of them, no more than a car or a detergent need anything but a feel-good recognition factor. Both the person and the acts only need to resemble as much as possible what people would like them to be. The best liar wins. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.. if you can fake that, you've got it made, said Groucho. That’s not some sort of accident, it's what the country was built on.

And they only need to do it for as long as it takes to move all gambling debt magically off the books of the players and onto the national public balance sheet. Then when the loot has been loaded into the get-away planes, trains and automobiles, they will get the hell out of Dodge and slip away like so many thieves in the night as literally as they can. Après ça, le deluge.

It's War! As Japanese Whaling Fleet Goes Carbon Neutral

"... No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women
No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark ..."

'Turning Japanese', The Vapors [1980]

Hmmmm looks like bogusity, smells like bogusity .... think it might be ... you guessed it ... Bogusity!

The Federal Government has launched an investigation into the incident between the Holy Carbon Batman! and the Shonen Knife II in the Southern Ocean yesterday. Although none of the media reports make sense, it is understood that the Holy Carbon Batman was playing 'chicken' with the Shonen Knife II, and lost. Anyway, don't worry too much about the conflicting reports or the bits that just don't make sense, that's just the bogusity coming into play.

Yesterday the Minister for Midnight Oil did his best Brian Burke impression, while Senator Save The Trees was in Tasmania, but his opinions on the bushfires in the Tamar Valley, and the announcement that plantation timber is to be used in the Gunns pulp mill were not broadcast.

Meanwhile, the search ship Sea Monkey, which located the Hell on the High Seas near Moreton Island off the Queensland coast last month, has abandoned filming the wreck to search for the Holy Carbon Batman! in the Southern Ocean.

The Cynical Exploitation of tragedy for Propaganda and Political Purposes Operation vehicle (C.E.P.P.P.O.) will be used to film the Holy Carbon Batman! and post images online for all Australians - the world's most ecologically compassionate and racially tolerant citizens - to see.

The Acting Kevin has urged Australians to boycott sushi bars and teppanyaki restaurants but to not forgo getting their computers fixed or their weekly Indian takeaway, while the Opposition Tony is calling for anything he didn't do while he was in government.

In related news, a spokeswhale for the Humpback Whale Collective questioned why nobody cares about the impact of other carbon in the oceans such as last year's Pacific Adventurer oil spill, or its cargo of ammonium nitrate sitting at the bottom of Moreton Bay .... or any other environmental issues for that matter.

"EEEEeeeee reeeeeeee oooouuuuuueeeeeeee," he said.

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