What Is The "Wrongity"?

Best Rural Newspaper Column Of The Month

'Life In An Apple Gum' by Kathryn Kermode in the 'Northern Rivers Talking Turkey' [17/12/09]:

Kenneally Called On To Restore Rail Petrol Freight Subsidy To Save Lives: Greens Media Release [30/12/09]

In the aftermath of the far south coast accident involving a petrol tanker that killed three people Greens MP and transport spokesperson Lee Rhiannon has called on Premier Kristina Kenneally to reinstate the subsidy for bulk fuel transported by rail.

"I extend sympathy on behalf of the Greens to the families of those killed in this tragedy," Ms Rhiannon said.

"The lessons from this horrific accident need to be acted upon to prevent more deaths and injuries.

"As well as targeting the black spots on the Princes Highway, the NSW government must ensure that where possible fuel is moved by rail. This is the safer form of transport.

"In November last year the Rees government ended its Fuel by Rail scheme that provided a 1.2 cents per litre subsidy to petrol companies.

"Slashing the scheme saved the government $1.6 million, but has meant more petrol tankers on NSW roads.

"This poor policy decision that saves a paltry amount of money was brought down in the 2008 mini-budget.

"Following this latest accident Premier Kenneally should move quickly to reinstate the rail subsidy for fuel transported from Sydney depots to western NSW and Canberra.

"The removal of the subsidy has resulted in Shell Australia transporting petrol from Parramatta to Canberra, Dubbo and Tamworth by B-double fuel tankers instead of rail.

"On the Dubbo run BP Australia had shared a train for deliveries with Shell so BP could be moving its fuel by road, which would force more trucks to use the dangerous Great Western highway.

"This could mean at least four extra B-double tankers on local roads a day.

"Three fuel trains a week use to run between Canberra and Sydney. The end of this service puts more lives at risks as petrol companies resort to using road freight.

"The government should be moving to require fuel companies to transport bulk petroleum products by rail whenever possible," Ms Rhiannon said.

Sparks Fly As Sydney New Years Eve Fireworks Plan Revealed

Revealed: What has to be an all time low by propagandists and corporate media generators

The grand finale of this year's Sydney New Years Eve fireworks is no longer a secret, as plans to detonate a large pair of underpants on the Harbour Bridge have been revealed.

Sources close to the fireworks organisers leaked details about the giant exploding undies to the press because they were concerned no-one would pay any attention to the PR and hype being passed off as news.

Experts have since been debating whether they have crossed some kind of line, and if the exploding undies may have been a really bad idea.

"Surely nobody is buying this garbage, are they? Who makes up this Boogeyman crap? I mean, exploding undies? Sheesh!" asked a spokesperson from the US Justice Department.

In further developments today:

The Boogeyman ... If he wasn't real, he'd make a great subject for a Disney movie

A World Heritage Listed Wonder

Border Ranges National Park. A fragile ecosystem currently enjoying some much needed rain:

Brushbox Falls and Sheepstation Creek

Giant Panda Snail shell and Lamington Spiny Crayfish

Lewins Honeyeater

Brown Cuckoo Dove and White Throated Gerygone

The Pinnacle Lookout. Closed after fires (which of course had nothing to do with climate change) earlier this month.

Miraculously, we did hear a frog.

Milk Bar is open! Farm land adjacent to the Border Ranges National Park and quaint Kyogle (about 30 kilometres away) shop window. (Sundowner Seafoods serve the most delicious hot chips in the whole wide world!)

If we keep burning fossil fuels, refuse to reduce our consumption and curtail the rampant expansion of unsustainable housing developments, then it should be obvious that the entire system is likely to collapse. Remnant virgin forests, lush farmland and sustainable ways of living are not mutually exclusive. We will live differently in the future - we do have some degree of choice about how differently we will live but we have NO choice that it will happen.

Cogeneration Plant at Condong

If this 'green' power plant at Condong (which is less than 100 kilometres from the Border Ranges) needs some kind of support, the government should be providing it - not using our taxes to unfairly advantage, rather than phase out the fossil fuel industry.

This power plant works. We've seen it working previously. It uses bagasse that used to be burned in the field anyway and it can power about 30,000 homes 24/7. Now it has mysteriously stopped working.

According to this article in the 'Tweed Shire Echo', it only needs about $10million a year to be viable. That's $333.33 per home per year! Peanuts! There seems to be something more sinister behind this story than just economics.

Minister For Natural Resources Responds To Tugun Petition

The Hon Stephen Robertson MP's letter to The Clerk of the Parliament [24/12/09]:

I Declare

The life of an asylum seeker
Isn't worth a pinch of shit
And that you really shouldn't drink so much
Especially at the cricket

I Declare

The lives of all those Aussies
Rotting on death row
Don't bear a thought at Christmastime
They'll be handy next year though

I Declare

Since when did the Queensland Government
Ever pay heed to a petition?
Sweet baby cheeses !!
No-one views criminalisation with suspicion

I Declare

They must be ever so grateful
The poor and down on their luck
That the yank who now runs New South Wales
Is easily able to duck ...

Responsibility for
The welfare of her citizens
By suggesting we dig into our own pockets
So that struggling charities can

I Declare

Forget about Boonie's record
Because it's no coincidence
That the Aussies really did declare
The same day as this nonsense

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.

Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Court Report From Rockhampton

Jim Dowling writes [24/12/09]:

Cattle And Cane

" ... I recall a schoolboy coming home
Through fields of cane
To a house of tin and timber
And in the sky
A rain of falling cinders
From time to time
The waste memory-wastes ..."

Grant McLennan

The Future?

Rocky Point Power Station

The power plant is located at Rocky Point in the Stapylton area. There is an adjacent prawn farm just off the Logan River - so now all they need is a Vietnamese Restaurant that specialises in Sugar Cane Prawns!

Could this be the future? If our government stopped tipping our taxes into unsustainable energy production - it could be.

Logan River and Heron taking flight near the prawn farm.

Unfortunately, encroaching on these farms, devouring arable land and totally decimating the environment is rampant, ugly, "on tick" housing developments. We drove through one, and half of the completed houses were empty. The houses that were occupied all had a brand new 4WD sitting in the driveway, because there's no public transport. In fact there's no social infrastructure within walking distance. Just the obligatory strip mall with a Thai takeaway and bottleshop, 'a short drive away'.

But hey, you can take the kids to check out the nearby M1 "Observation Platform":

Your taxes at work, propping up a way of life that's unsustainable, downright deadly and the resultant climate chaos!

Disturbing The War

Jim Dowling writes [21/12/09]:

Electronic Frontiers Australia today expressed its surprise and concern that the operators of the satirical protest site StephenConroy.com.au were given only three hours to justify their "connection to" the domain name.

Under Australian domain name regulations, it is quite common for website operators to be required to identify their reasons for operating under an Australian domain name, but it is unusual for operators to be offered so little time to provide those reasons.

"While we understand some of the quite sensible reasons behind the restrictive rules on Australian domain names, we are surprised at the level of energy with which auDA has pursued this particular matter," said EFA spokesperson Geordie Guy.

"At a time when criticism of the Minister around the government's proposed mandatory filtering scheme is so prolific, it's easy for Australians to be cynical about such assertive action from the domain authority particularly when we understand that other cases are usually afforded much more consideration."

This incident reflects worrying concerns about the power that private domain name regulators have to silence critical political speech without going through legitimate legal channels. In 2006, a similar incident saw MelbourneIT cancel the domain registration for JohnHowardMP.org created by well-known political commentator Richard Neville, a move that was instigated on advice from the Australian Government.

Cancellation silenced a satirical website that featured a parody speech from Mr Howard that apologised for Australia's involvement in the most recent Iraq war.

Copenhagen Metaphor

What happened to "take only photos, leave only footprints"?

Well. If our world leaders don't care about trashing the planet, is it any surprise that our fellow citizens don't care either?

"Vehicles are not permitted on beaches, foreshore, dunes or under trees (penalties apply) GCCC"

This is the road leading into the western side of The Spit on the Gold Coast. It surrounds the Marine Stadium (or Bums Bay). This area was recently used as a set for the latest 'Sea Patrol' series. It's on the verge of being totally decimated, because despite the signage and random patrols by local law officers, clowns still drive on the dunes and park beneath the Casuarinas so that they can be a couple of metres away from their car while they visit the beach.

Boaties, fishermen and tourists in campers who generally respect their surroundings and visit the area for the enjoyment of being in nature are easy targets when it comes to looking for scapegoats for the destruction and litter. But they are not to blame. Clowns in obscenely large four wheel drives are the culprits - regularly passing through, loud music blaring, driving like maniacs and chewing up the landscape as an outlet for their frustrated "me conquer nature, fuck you fuck yeah" ambitions.

In its current precarious state, given the recent lack of rain and struggling vegetation, it is not hard to envisage the entire area being washed away with no hope of regrowth if the Gold Coast gets a whopping big storm.

There is no reason why the road into this area couldn't be closed off permanently so the dunes have a chance to regenerate. There is a large car park adjacent to the Kiosk and The Seaway less than 200 metres away on the eastern side of The Spit:

And although the adjacent Doug Jennings Park is a huge, grassed area, it is perplexing that the Marine Stadium (Bums Bay), has been designated a "Dog Off Leash" area:

"Dog off-leash area. Dogs playing in this area must: respond to your command, remain close to you. Please enjoy your stay. Remember you share this area with others. Clean up after your dog using the bags provided. Penalties apply for misuse. CAUTION: Dogs roam free in this area. GCCC"

Unfortunately there are no "doggie do" bags provided. Not that this gives "pouffeney" or "brutus" the right to crap all over the area - as their owners also allow them to do on the walk out to the Seaway.

We've spotted dolphins frolicking in the Marine Stadium, and as well as being a refuge and feeding ground for many species of bird life such as pelicans, sand pipers, oyster catchers, seagulls, and crustaceans etc, it's an important fish breeding habitat:

"Seagrass is an important fish breeding habitat. Please respect the area. ... GCCC"

Not that this stops the clowns in their four wheel drives, who local boaties have observed driving through the water (getting stuck) as well as the dunes.

Along with dog shit, the clowns toss their takeaway wrappers, disposable shitty nappies and drink bottles etc. into the dunes - even though there ARE bins:

Somebody is going to have to clean up this mess on a local and global scale.

Governments, corporations, the free market, and the individuals who feel entitled to pollute won't, so it is up to concerned citizens to do something.

Preserving this fragile and rare Gold Coast ecosystem is of no interest to Council, the State Government, monomedia, nearby theme parks and ritzy resorts. Why would it be when you hold future ambitions for a Cruise Ship Terminal?

It is the responsibilty of caring locals to do whatever they can to protect their landbases.

We don't advocate violence or active confrontation - too dangerous when you are dealing with pea brained thugs. If you see people doing the wrong thing, you could call the council. It's probably pointless calling the police because (a) Unless they happen to be on site when the clowns are doing their dangerous driving, there isn't anything else they can arrest them for, and (b) They'll probably be too busy operating speed cameras and pulling over so-called hoons on Sea World Drive to breath/drug test, check rego and license details and/or vehicle roadworthiness.

Removing some of the rubbish when you next visit, thereby setting an example for others, is a good start.

Since 2000, Friends of Federation Walk have done a marvellous job replanting and protecting the area between The Seaway and Marina Mirage on the eastern side of The Spit. Bushfires ravaged the southern end of Federation Walk in 2002 and in 2004. There is much work to be done, but what the volunteers have accomplished so far is miraculous - and the ever increasing number of returning birds, reptiles and other creatures agree!

Spotted - a wanderer butterfly and pair of Red Painted button quail spotted on the Federation Walk [19/12/09] - along with Double-barred Finch, Red-backed Fairy-wren and Rainbow Bee-eaters.

The Kangaroo Economy

From VK's recent post on 'The Automatic Earth' [19/12/09]:

Australians Credulous And Gullible: Poll

And the lord said "All ye Aussies, drive ye SUV to Bunnings and purchase ye a leaf blower on credit because it's all good."

A new poll has proven categorically that 192% of Australians blindly accept bogus polls.

The surprising findings show Australia is a nation of credulous and gullible people as copies of Professor Ian Plimer's 'Heaven and Earth' race off the shelves of large book stores around the nation.

Although Australians were widely considered climate change aware following the release of Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth', most now accept we are actually just at the end of an ice age and that burning fossil fuels, consuming like there is no tomorrow and being disconnected from the environment is their god given right.

In terms of the national interest, 99.999% percent believe the Government is not constructively undermining the provision of public education and universal health care under the guise of it's neconservative Education Revolution and Health Reform strategies going forward.

Many believe that as well as saving the planet from farting cows, clean coal technology and weasel words may also cure cancer, while 49 per cent think all bush fires are caused by arson and this Mary MacKillop business is most certainly not a giant, manipulated distraction.

The research shows that SBS screened an underwater volcano (captured on video for the first time) on last night's 'World News'.

In the national survey of 1,000 respondents, taken early this week, 1,920 said that they believed in UFOs, Flying Spaghetti Monsters, WMD, Bunyips, Toothfairies, Santa, a functioning media or bogus polls.

***LATE BREAKING NEWS***LATE BREAKING NEWS***LATE BREAKING NEWS***

In a massive breakthrough in Copenhagen, news has just come in that the problem of Climate Change has almost certainly been solved by world leaders!

After marathon negotiations well into the night, the announcement was made to a packed press conference that an agreement has finally been reached. US President Barrack Obama told the press:

"There were those who doubted that we had the will or ability to address this urgent problem and reach a meaningful agreement. We have proven those doubters to be wrong, we have shown the people of the world that we are serious and will make huge sacrifices where necessary in order to get a draft agreement in place."

UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon said that after major concessions to developing countries, the leaders had arrived at an agreement both historic and unprecedented.

DETAILS OF UN AGREEMENT ON DRAFT AGREEMENT:

In a major concession to developing nations, black ink will be used on the draft document.

By a small majority, it has been agreed that the non-binding draft agreement will be printed using a laser printer on 80gsm recycled unbleached white A4 paper and stapled rather than bound.

In a major concession to leading Western polluters and their closest allies, the font will be Arial and the type size will be 12point (rather than Times New-Roman and the minimum 14point, as scientists had recommended).

World leaders announced that a sticking point had been the title for the draft agreement. As no title could be agreed upon in time for the announcement, the draft agreement will bear the working title of "Draft Agreement" to be reviewed at the next summit in 2020 unless a firm agreement can be reached before then.

Environmentalists praised the leaders' bold move and said that a non-binding agreement on a draft agreement was much better than no agreement on a draft agreement, although some of the more radical critics of the agreement on the draft agreement mocked it as being "ineffectual", there will be a gala dinner and speeches tomorrow evening.

Going On Strike: "So Hot Right Now"

Uber stylish

Going on strike is "the new black" according Professor Borten-Paydfor from the Ponds Institute's How Can I Help You? research centre.

After years of being out of fashion for reasons that have nothing to do with the government legislating against the right to withdraw labour, going on strike is suddenly hip and groovy.

So why are Australian workers so concerned with what's fashionable?

Bill Clinton once said, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", which Professor Borten-Paydfor says is partly true because it has nothing to do with workers wanting a fair day's pay for a fair day's work.

"There are a number of factors which have made striking de rigeur for workers, and none of these involve being screwed by corporations and abandoned by a so called labour government," he said.

Professor Borten-Paydfor also said that although striking was "so hot right now", he did not envisage it becoming a sweeping trend across the nation.

"Here are your talking points: job security, the economy and agreements expiring in terms of the Fair Work framework going forward," he said.

Professor Metoo from the Ponds Institute's Ivory Tower Circle Jerk Unit agreed that striking would not become an ongoing fashion statement.

"Inadequate health and safety conditions, job security and broken promises of pay rises are no reason for workers to go on strike," he said.

As is plainly obvious, no workers or unions were consulted for their point of view during the writing of this story. Although we did consider interviewing a bunch of fat, overpaid clowns about how selfish workers were being for disrupting their holiday plans.

Is This A Sign?

When the number of people paying for groceries by credit card increases, is that a sign of trouble in the economy?

Get Taken For A Ride

And revel in the collective insanity!

From a comment - "how to cope with the inevitable end of oil imports?" by "WNC Observer" on 'The Oil Drum' [16/12/09]:

Rise In Glassing Linked To Crap Journalism: Report

Professor Panic's 'Look Over There It's A Baby Rabbit' report ... close, but no cigar!

The rise of glassing has absolutely nothing to do with the violent, mean spirited and individualistic culture in which we live, according to Professor Panic from the Ponds Institute's "Foregone Conclusions and Plastic Cups" unit.

Professor Panic, who was commissioned by the Government to write a report titled 'Look Over There It's A Baby Rabbit', says crap journalism is to blame for the large number of glassings.

"Crap journaliszm haz created a devastatingz zcenarios vich facilitates such phenomenaz az group zink so zat even if Qveesnslanders do not read ze only paper in town zay can hear all ze tallking pointz on ze ABzeee, I mean C," he said.

The Professor wouldn't elaborate when asked if there was a specific media outlet that could be blamed for the crap journalism.

"Vot? Are you inzane? All academics in zis town - ezpecially ze media and journalism vones - agree zat conzentration of ze media ownership can only be a good zing," he said.

But Brisbane's Councillor Neverbemayor said that although Brisbane's monomedia had always treated him with contempt, he couldn't agree with Professor Panic's assessment.

"It appears that the crap journalism being disseminated and dispersed shows no signs of dissipating, so we just have to learn to deal with it," he said.

"In any case, we can all agree that since the creation of entertainment precincts Fortitude Valley is even more vibrant and bohemian than ever - look at all the wonderful venues where up and coming Brisbane musicians can play."

Professor Panic said his report articulated two broad categories of crap journalism - promoting aggression and lynch mobs, bastard and fascist government policies as well as ignoring the real causes of problems in society and finding easy scapegoats.

"Evan if ze journalistz have crossed ze line vich is vine line as ve descend ze zlippery zlope, do you really zink anyvon in zere righ mind iz going to zay anyzink?"

In related news, a Gold Coast taxi driver has been hospitalised after being assaulted this morning, but this has absolutely nothing to do with the monomedia's frenzied vilification of taxi drivers over the past few days.

2009 Stan And Maureen Duke Gold Coast Art Prize Announced:

Gold Coast City Art Gallery Media Release

Writer and broadcaster Andrew Frost announced the winner and acquisitions of this important and long running national art prize at Gold Coast City Art Gallery on Saturday 12 December.

Christopher Jone's painting 'The liver is the bucket kicked the rabbit' is a direct call to the unconscious, scrambling memories of Warner Bros. cartoons - from where I think part of the text is taken - and a suggestion of an altered mental state, perhaps the result of too much drink. Every time I look at the painting I'm challenged once more to make sense of its cryptic, yet naggingly familiar message - something that is rare in text paintings, and perhaps is more akin to poetry than blank advertising. I was very much taken with the painting's humour; it's bold and direct address and the sharp clean edges of its execution.

Jones receives $10,000 and the gallery also acquired his work. He studied at Victorian College of the Arts and has recently returned from a residency at Red Gate in Beijing.

Andrew Frost went on to comment:

A real pleasure of the Duke Prize is the opportunity to select finalists' works for acquisition by the Gold Coast City Art Gallery. Happily, selecting works for acquisition meant that I was able to choose more works that I like very much.

Fiona White's 'The red bathers' was a standout piece, with its use of a gold background, figures drawn in charcoal and lovingly rendered swimming costumes. Vicky Browne works with music making and musical objects and her 'Rainbow Connection' is a sweet and beguilingly lovely piece that rewards callers to her mobile phone. Silvia Schwenk's 'The Workers Life' and David Creed's "Roller blade dance" are standout pieces of video art, documenting fleeting moments of real life and perhaps reflecting a shared interest in dance and movement.

Abstract works were very strong in the Duke entries and Lyndal Hargrave's 'Sacred Geometry II' was both playful and conceptually exact. Greg Fullerton's work 'Flag [Wave] Black Rock' is an elegant and simple piece that's full of suggestion while remaining tantalizingly ambiguous. Dinni Kunoth Kemarre's 'Quinten Lynch' is a lovely work also and I have no better reason to commend it than to say it makes me smile every time I look at it.

[No images sorry, you'll just have to pop along to see this excellent exhibition for yourself! Our pick was David Creed's "Roller blade dance" which was captured along the Broadwater walking and bikepath at Biggera Waters/Labrador - Ed.]

Send Island Leaders A Message Of Support For Their Brave Climate Stand

A message from The Greens [16/12/09]:

Letter Scandal Disrupts City Hall Move

Reeking with history ... Brisbane's iconic and historic City Hall

The closure of Brisbane's City Hall at the end of the month may be uncontroversial, but a scandal has erupted during the moving process which has reverberated all along Ann Street.

As Councillors and staff pack up their offices, there have been some intriguing discoveries at the bottom of creaky, old filing cabinets and dusty cupboards - some of which have caused outrage throughout the hallowed halls.

Soorley's old stilettos and Sally Anne's first pay cheque were among some of the first items found, while a fiery letter written by the late Clem Jones may hold ramifications for the city's future.

According to a City Hall source, the former Mayor states in the letter that under no circumstances did he want a tunnel named after him.

Although Brisbane heritage expert Dr Harry Highpants has confirmed there is a 99.9999 per cent likelihood that the letter was penned by Clem Jones, the Lord Can Do remained unconcerned and said that he doubted the letter's authenticity.

"We've found all kinds of things while we have been packing up, but no-one can really know for sure if they are genuine," he said.

"For instance, my assistant found a hat with the the word "Arse" printed on it and said to me "This must be your hat", which is just not possible."

The Lord Can Do also dismissed reports that a secret dossier containing a blueprint for destroying the city's soul had been uncovered.

"All this talk of a secret dossier outlining plans to discourage Brisbane's citizens from gathering together in public spaces and denying them access to their beautiful building is cynical and paranoid," he said.

"So what if we don't have the money to undertake this restoration and we haven't announced a proposed re-opening date?"

Dr Highpants said that beyond the interesting discoveries, what was most intriguing was that such an unpopular Mayor was able to close City Hall to the public with nary conjecture.

"Just like the tunnels he's pulled a real swifty on Brisbane's citizens with the closure of this public building. And although it has a chequered past, many of Brisbane's citizens have an emotional attachment to City Hall - and not just because it has the best dunnies in the CBD," he said.

Where's Professor Q?

Is this the kind of thing that will happen when Conroy's filter kicks in?

Copenhagen Spoof Shames Canada; Climate Debt No Joke:

The Yes Men Media Release [15/12/09]

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - "Canada is 'red-faced'!" (Globe and Mail) "Copenhagen spoof shames Canada!" (Guardian) "Hoax slices through Canadian spin on warming!" (The Toronto Star) "A childish prank!" (Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada)

What at first looked like the flip-flop of the century has been revealed as a sophisticated ruse by a coalition of African, North American, and European activists. The purpose: to highlight the most powerful nations' obstruction of meaningful progress in Copenhagen, to push for just climate debt reparations, and to call out Canada in particular for its terrible climate policy.

The elaborate intercontinental operation was spearheaded by a group of concerned Canadian citizens, the "Climate Debt Agents" from ActionAid, and The Yes Men. It involved the creation of a best-case scenario in which Canadian government representatives unleashed a bold new initiative to curb emissions and spearhead a "Climate Debt Mechanism" for the developing world.

The ruse started at 2:00 PM Monday, when journalists around the world were surprised to receive a press release from "Environment Canada" (enviro-canada.com, a copy of ec.gc.ca) that claimed Canada was reversing its position on climate change.

In the release, Canada's Environment Minister, Jim Prentice, waxed lyrical.

"Canada is taking the long view on the world economy," said Prentice. "Nobody benefits from a world in peril. Contributing to the development of other nations and taking full responsibilities for our emissions is simple Canadian good sense."

Thirty minutes later, the same "Environment Canada" sent out another press release, congratulating itself on Uganda's excited response to the earlier fake announcement. A video featuring an impassioned response by "Margaret Matembe," supposedly a COP15 delegate from Uganda, was embedded in a fake COP15 website.

"Canada, until now you have blocked climate negotiations and refused to reduce emissions," said "Matembe."

"Of course, you do sit on the world's second-largest oil reserve. But for us it isn't a mere economic issue - it's about drought, famine, and disease."

(The video was shot in a replica of the Bella Center's briefing room, at Frederiksholms Kanal 4, in the center of Copenhagen. Matembe was actually Kodili Chandia, a "Climate Debt Agent" from ActionAid, a collective of activists that push for rich countries to help those most affected by climate change for adaptation and mitigation projects. The "Climate Debt Agents," with their signature bright red suits, have been a ubiquitous presence in Copenhagen during the climate summit.)

Then it was time for Canada to react. One hour later, another "Environment Canada" (this one at ec-gc.ca) released a bombastic response to the original release. This one quoted Jim Prentice, Canada's Minister for the Environment, decrying the original announcement:

"It is the height of cruelty, hypocrisy, and immorality to infuse with false hopes the spirit of people who are already, and will additionally, bear the brunt of climate change's terrible human effects. Canada deplores this moral misfire."

Because almost none of the resulting news coverage even mentioned Uganda or "Matembe's" response, a fourth release was sent from the second website (ec-gc.ca).

Meanwhile, in the real world ....

The real Canadian government's reactions were almost as strange as the fake ones in the release. Dimitri Soudas, a spokesperson for the Canadian Prime Minister, emailed reporters and blamed Steven Guilbeault, cofounder of Quebec-based Equiterre. "More time should be dedicated to playing a constructive role instead of childish pranks," said Soudas in a first email, while misspelling Guilbeault's name.

Guilbeault demanded an apology.

"A better way to use his time would probably be to advise the Canadian government to change its deeply flawed position on climate," said Guilbeault.

Soudas and Guilbeault were seen exchanging angry words in the hallway outside of Canada's 3:30pm press conference, which did not start until 4:30pm, and at which the Canadians refused to answer any questions about the flurry of false releases.

More raised voices were heard when Stephen Chu, the US Secretary of Energy, refused to pose for a photo with his Canadian counterpart, Jim Prentice. After Steve Kelly, Prentice's chief of staff, begged for 10 minutes, the US guy finally asked why a photo was so important. Kelly replied that "we were carpetbagged this morning by [environmental non-governmental organizations] with a false press release. I gotta change the story."

Why Blame Canada?

The only country in the world to have abandoned the Kyoto Protocol's emissions and climate debt targets, Canada also has the most energy-intensive, destructive and polluting oil reserves in the world. The Alberta tar sands, according to The Economist, are in fact the world's biggest single industrial source of carbon emissions.

"By not agreeing to emissions reductions, Canada is holding a loaded gun to our heads, and seems ready to pull the trigger on millions of us around the globe, " said Margaret Matembe aka Kodili Chandia of the "Climate Debt Agents."

"They leave us no choice but to see them as criminal."

At last year's climate summit in Poznan, Poland, over 400 civil society organizations voted Canada worst of all nations in blocking progress towards a binding climate treaty. Will Canada take the dubious prize again this year in Copenhagen?

"The Canadian government is not listening to its citizens," says Sarah Ramsey, a resident of Alberta who has seen the destruction of the tar sands firsthand.

Ramsey traveled to Copenhagen to give voice to a generation of young Canadians.

"We are discouraged and demoralized by our government's position on climate change. We decided to lend our government a hand, and show them what good leadership looks like."

In solidarity with the delegates from the G77 Bloc of nations, today's intervention was also meant to highlight an issue at the heart of the ongoing talks-the issue of climate justice, and the climate debt that the developed world owes the developing world. Seventy-five percent of the historical emissions that created the climate crisis came from 20% of the world's population in developed countries, according to the UN, yet up to 80% of the impacts of the climate crisis are experienced in the developing world, according to the World Bank.

"I meant every word I said," says Kodili Chandia, a spokesperson for the Climate Debt Agents, who spoke out as a member of the Ugandan delegation.

"This debate isn't just about facts and figures and abstract concepts of fairness-the drought we are seeing right now in East Africa is directly threatening the lives of millions of people, including farmers in my own family. We have not created this problem but we are living with the consequences. That's why I still say: It's time for rich countries to pay their climate debt."

Where's Misha?

Net Censorship Trial Report Brings More Questions Than Answers

[EFA Media Release: 15/12/09]

Electronic Frontiers Australia today welcomed the release of the Government's Internet filtering report but predicted that the debate is far from over.

"There are few surprises in this document," said EFA spokesperson Colin Jacobs.

"Given the pilot's modest goals, it was designed from the beginning to pass. Although it may address some technical issues, what it leaves out is far more important - exactly what will be blocked, who will decide, and why is it being attempted in the first place?"

The report found that generally, ISPs were able to block a government-provided blacklist of several thousand web sites without a major impact on service levels. It also found that circumvention was trivial for motivated users, calling the effectiveness of the proposal into question.

The report indicated that there were costs associated with filtering, which would hit smaller ISPs the hardest. The expected costs for Australian Internet users were not addressed in the report, nor were other alternatives such as increasing support for home-based filters. Although several ISPs also tested filtering beyond the government blacklist, the report finds they were only 84% accurate in the best case.

It's not unexpected that the censorship proved technically possible. EFA notes that, since the election, the government's "cyber-safety" plan has shifted away from providing tools to shield minors on the web to a black list of "almost exclusively RC (Refused Classification)" content aimed at adults.

"The Government knows this plan will not help Australian kids, nor will it aid in the policing of prohibited material. Given the problems in maintaining a secret blacklist and deciding what goes on it, we're at a loss to explain the Minister's enthusiasm for this proposal," said Jacobs.

"We'll be interested to see how the Internet service providers respond. We know they are critical of having such intrusive Government interference in their networks," he added.

Although the minister has hailed the pilot a success, many concerns about the proposal remain ignored. Neither draft legislation nor a comprehensive policy document have yet been released to the Australian public, though legislation is expected in 2010.

"Successful technology isn't necessarily successful policy. We're yet to hear a sensible explanation of what this policy is for, who it will help, and why it is worth spending so much taxpayers' money on."

Jimna Fire Tower Hi Jinks

Jimna Fire Tower in 2006

Apparently it's Heritage Listed - not that that means anything in the year of Queensland's 150th Birthday!

This afternoon [14/12/09] we heard on ABC local radio that a gentleman had climbed and occupied the Jimna Fire Tower in an attempt to preserve it and save it from inclusion in the Government's sneaky, desperate asset sales.

Westerly view from beneath the Jimna Fire Tower [2006]

These kangaroos (snapped in the vicinity in 2006) reckon the gent occupying the Jimna Fire Tower is a legend!

Do They Know It's Christmas?

(The 2009 "Aussie Monomedia Helps Me Keep My Head Firmly Planted Up My Arse" Version)

… It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
When your main concern is how to rip off a band aid
Never fear for we have plenty, more lame arse stories to employ
For wilfully ignorant gumbys this Christmastime …

[with apologies to Bob Geldof and Midge Ure]

Warning As Yet Another Sunday Morning Real Estate Story Contradicts Reality

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do
She gave them some broth without any bread
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed

See this block of land? It's one of the few remaining green spaces at Hope Island, and although there are empty apartments everywhere in the surrounding area, this block is set to be cleared to make way for a 67 unit apartment building.

Real estate commentary is likely to boom over the next three years following a record month fabricating reality, according to an economic forecaster whose livelihood, expensive house, wife, children, golf membership and friendship circle does not depend upon him talking up the market.

"As Deborah Conway once said - it's only the beginning, but I've already gone and lost my mind," warned B.S. Crapnel economist Dr Fullovit.

"Despite all the signs that there is an over supply of property on the market, we must build more and more pokey little houses and apartments - the endless growth model demands it," he said.

So much for those party pooper, corduroy trouser wearing economists who predicted property prices would fall about 30 percent following the GFC. We can report that B.S. Crapnel statistics show reality has been obscured by 12.5 percent, so na na na na na!

According to an unknown source, millions of dollars worth of property changed hands in Melbourne yesterday, and once today's auctions are complete, reality will be as murky as the Yarra River.

What's a mortgagee-in-possession again?

"Currently the real estate market is like a pressure cooker," said Dr Fullovit.

"It's like that scene in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' where Holly Golightly attempts to cook chicken and saffron rice with chocolate sauce for dinner and it explodes all over the kitchen, " he said.

"Upgraders" is a term being bandied about in a fruitless attempt to stimulate status anxiety and flagging aspirationalism, but at least we didn't mention the drastic shortage of rental properties in this report.

However, boo! Foreign investers!

Another economist from the Ponds Institute's "Will You Please Just Go And Buy A House You Fucking Loser" Unit confirmed that desperate first-time home buyers had better get in quick, because the corporate media's grip on reality was only going to get worse.

Delusions Of Empire

Witches Falls National Park

Hanging by a thread

Because the western way of life is not sustainable

Bullsh1t Problems? Ask Your Local Councillor

Love Is In The Air

(2009 "Who cares that burning fossil fuels causes climate change? I want a NAVMAN for Christmas" version)

Cars are everywhere
Everywhere I look around
Climate change is here
Every sight and every sound

And you might say I'm being churlish
Or that I'm not being too wise
'Cos you want the new NAVMan for Christmas
With map upgrades all for the one price

Cars are everywhere
Especially sports utilities
Cars pollute the air
Even hybrid Camrys

And the Torres Straits Islands are sinking
As I drive down the shops once again
And in my tiny brain not conceiving
That I somehow am to blame

(Chorus)
Cars are everywhere
Cars pollute the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Cars are everywhere
In the rising of the sun
Cars pollute the air
When the day is nearly done

But I don't need your greenie intrusion
As I sit waiting in the drive-thru
Consuming and God I believe in
And everyone else can get screwed

Climate change is here
Every sight and every sound
As I sit in airconditioned bliss
One hundred percent certain I'm wise

That my destructive behavior's not hurtin'
Anyone, least of all JPY

Mary Valley Celebrates this Saturday

Save The Mary River Media Release [11/12/09]

The cheers that greeted Peter Garrett's Remembrance Day "No " to Traveston Crossing Dam still reverberate around the Mary Valley but this Saturday they'll be mixed with the sounds of even more celebration.

From 3pm, the Kandanga Recreation grounds (behind the swimming pool) will come alive with music and festivity as residents and well-wishers celebrate the lifting of a yoke that had weighed them down for the past three and a half years.

Save the Mary River Coordinating Group president Glenda Pickersgill has extended an invitation to "everyone who had done anything to make sure this dam didn't go ahead".

"This has been an incredible rallying of a community, not just immediately following the announcement, but in the hard years since, when great depths of resilience were called upon to counter the government's unwavering assertion that the dam was a 'goer'".

"The skills that people brought with them were unbelievably diverse, and this has meant a colourful, well-informed and creative campaign," Ms Pickersgill said.

"From 3pm on Saturday we'll feature some of the many performers who wrote songs about the Mary and which featured on our early "For the Love of Mary " CD and some like the Barleyshakes who've penned songs since. As well as on-stage music, a jam tent with chalkboard entertainment, will operate throughout the day.

At 4pm there'll be a special ceremony involving the "Knit for Mary" scarf. Initiated by Valley resident Dawn Gill and assisted by hundreds of knitters from far and wide, this scarf has become a vibrant symbol of a close-knit community, but one in danger of unraveling.

More music follows, including the Pomona Choir, until a special ceremony at 7pm.

After 7.45, the music continues with Hat Fitz and Cara Robinson, the Chardonnay Sippers and Barry Charles

There's a Jumping Castle for the kids and a great range of food stalls.

Entry is by gold coin donation.

For those wanting to say overnight, camping is available near the Save the Mary Infocentre down by the station with a Sunday Morning breakfast available, proceeds going to AFTCRA, the Association for Freshwater Turtle research.

"We've had friends from far and wide in this campaign and hopefully many can be with us on Saturday. As well as celebrating, Saturday will be a chance to tell everyone about of the importance of having a say in the future for the Mary Valley. If there's one thing we've learned from the past three and a half years, it's the wonderful power of people working together toward a common end," Ms Pickersgill said.

Save the Mary River Coordinating Group invite the entire community to join us in celebrating this momentous victory with music, poetry and good food on Saturday 12th December at Kandanga Recreation ground from 3pm till late.

There will also be a Mary Valley information night on Wed 16th Dec 7pm. at the Kandanga Hall. All welcome.

The Save the Mary River Coordinating Group will hold its Annual General Meeting on Thur 17th Dec 7pm at the Kandanga Hall.

Widespread Outrage As Senator Barnaby Says Something Sensible

Like the PM, Senator Barnaby is from Queensland and he hardly ever says anything sensible, often 'shooting from the lip'

The Prime Minister accused maverick, tearaway, outspoken and renegade Senator Barnaby of irresponsibility after he let the cat out of bag.

Senator Barnaby also said some other things, but in a rare moment of clarity has used his experience with trial balances, profit and loss statements and powers of basic observation to ascertain that the U.S. appears to be in debt to the tune of trillions of dollars.

"Look, I'm just saying that they are insolvent. You know, unable to pay their debts, that kind of thing. I'm sure they'll just print off a few hundred trillion dollars and play some silly accounting games and get Golden Sacks to help out and all the toxic debts and weird derivatives won't come home to roost, not! I mean, seriously, the U.S. is not just broke, they're spectacularly broke, and not just that but they have lost everyone else's money too!" he said.

The Senator spelled it out for his audience: "Look. We are in financial end times and it's guns'n'ammo and baked beans time, OK?"

The PM has demanded that the new Shadow Prime Minister confirm or repudiate that Senator Barnaby has let the cat out of the bag.

"Can I just say that in terms of counting all his eggs in one basket, Senator Barnaby has looked before his chickens are hatched," he said.

The Minister for Robots and other Financial Matters also expressed his outrage at Senator Barnaby's sensible comments.

"Not only is he maverick, tearaway, outspoken and renegade, but he is erratic and irresponsible and has popular and unworkable ideas," he said, before beep beep beep

"Malfunction. ... Malfunction ... does not compute ..... " and his head exploded.

Meanwhile, the U.S. economy is melting faster than the Arctic Circle and War is Peace.

And in related news a Court in Sydney has made a decision that all chocolate, salty balls are not the same.

Summer On The Spit

Seagulls in Marine Stadium

White faced heron

Shitty nappy in the sunset

Bright light over the Broadwater from the Spit

(Literally "shooting" next season's 'Sea Patrol' in the middle of the night!)

Economists Hail 'Extraordinary' Surge In 'Good News' Stories

Phew! Thank goodness the GFC is over!

By Online business correspondent Penny Pocket

Australia's 'Bad News' rate has fallen to 5.37 per cent, after the creation of 31,200 human interest yarns in November.

Marketing masquerading as community notices made up most of the increase, with the Ponds Institute's "All Statistics Spin Productivity Unit for Massaging Positivity" (A.S.S.P.U.M.P.) survey showing 30,000 unquestioned government and corporate press releases, seasonally adjusted.

The rise of 'Good News' stories also pushed the A.S.S.P.U.M.P. trivia and mindless blather index 0.9 per cent higher, after previous weakness due to the impending Walkley Awards.

Economists were, on average, expecting only 5,000 quirky wildlife and cute pet trapped in a drain stories to have been created during November, after an increase of more than 24,000 the previous month.

The consensus forecast was for the 'Bad News' rate to creep higher from 5.8 to 5.9 per cent, with expectations of climate catastrophes and war outpacing sport, entertainment, recipes, cars and pointless, extortionately priced gadget stories.

'Bad News' peak

The result has shocked economists, with even the two most optimistic analysts only forecasting the creation of 20,000 boring features about has-been celebrities and politicians trying to flog their autobiographies.

"They really are extraordinarily, unanticipated and unexpected statistics. A big rise in the number of 'Good News' stories, they're stories with outcomes, in terms of staying on message which have spread all around Australia," said one economist Mr Shaggy Beard from Fudgy Figures Pty Ltd.

"Given the array of 'Good News' stories such as how to stay in shape over the festive season, not get a hangover, survive the office Christmas party and then your relatives on Christmas day, I think the 'Bad News' rate will peak below 6 per cent, so we have probably seen the peak of 'Bad News' stories for ever and ever. Amen."

Statement On Asset Sales: Professor John Quiggin

"The Culture As A Whole And Most Of Its Members Are Insane. The Culture Is Driven By A Death Urge, An Urge To Destroy Life."

(Premise 10 from Derrick Jensen's 'Endgame: Volume II Resistance')

A carpark at Robina Town Centre has flashing flights to direct drivers to vacant car spaces. Each space has a little green/red light to indicate whether it's vacant or not.

Monday First Day Of Postage-Free Christmas Mail:

CEPU Media Release [9/12/09]

Australians will be presented with the opportunity to send their mail postage free from Monday after postal workers announced details of protected industrial action at Australia Post.

"On Monday Australia Post employees will allow unstamped letters through - instead of returning them to sender," said Ed Husic, National President of the Communications Electrical Plumbing Union.

"We've received plenty of positive feedback from the public about this move and it promises to be a great Christmas gift for them - and mail volumes.

"Our message to the public: if you want to send a Christmas Card this year, 'ditch the e-mail: go free-mail'.

"Postal workers across Australia voted overwhelmingly - and in unprecedented numbers - to take protected industrial action against Australia Post. From Friday, we will be undertaking a range of different actions.

"This is a move of last resort after Australia Post refused to move since April on modest claims for improved job security, better workplace safety and protection of take home pay.

"Our members know Christmas is a special time and they are conscious of limiting the impact which is why we have
elected for the free mail days. This action could affect 70 million Christmas cards and revenue of $35 million, according to Australia's Post's own predictions of mail volume during this period.

"Prior to any action commencing, we wrote to Post yesterday indicating that while our members wanted to take action, the CEPU was still willing to meet with Managing Director Graeme John and Chief Operating Officer Jim Marshall to sort this agreement out.

"Late yesterday we were advised that the Mr John and Mr Marshall would not meet, even though Mr John took the unusual step of writing to each Australia Post employee urging them not to support our ballot.

"Given he has an interest in trying to avoid industrial action, we're disappointed that both key decision makers in Australia Post won't listen to what their employees are telling them: 'we want our issues dealt with and we're prepared to take action to show we want a better deal'.

"Since April we've gotten nowhere in trying to get a new enterprise agreement with Australia Post. Based on yesterday's response from senior management, we're going to get no closer to sorting any of this out."

Stop Industrialisation Of The Kimberley

Australian Conservation Foundation Media Release [9/12/09]

The full Council of the Australian Conservation Foundation has passed a motion opposing the building of a massive liquefied natural gas (LNG) processing facility at James Price Point, 60 kilometres north of Broome, or elsewhere in the Kimberley.

After lengthy discussion, including meetings with the Kimberley Land Council and Traditional Owners in Broome, ACF has formed the view that a large LNG processing facility on the Kimberley coastline would pose unacceptable risks to a region with numerous outstanding natural values.

James Price Point, the surrounding region and the Kimberley as a whole is home to many threatened species.

Last week the Commonwealth and Western Australian governments made the renewal of retention leases held by the Browse joint venturers partners conditional on their acceptance by 31 December 2009 of an enforced deadline on the new lease and acceptance within 120 days of James Price Point as the only site for a LNG hub.

“For governments to try to force business partners to commit to James Price Point and the Kimberley before environmental studies have been finalised seriously compromises the decision making process,” said ACF executive director Don Henry.

“The natural and cultural values of the Kimberley are simply too great for major industrialisation and all the impacts that will flow from it for the Kimberley region. ACF is concerned this could be the thin end of the wedge for further industrialisation of the Kimberley, including bauxite and uranium mining.

“We remain respectful of the work of Kimberley Land Council and the Traditional Owners and very much appreciate our ongoing consultations with them.

“Governments should redouble their efforts to help Traditional Owners tackle social disadvantage in the Kimberley and protect the outstanding environmental and cultural values of the area, with the consent of the Traditional Owners.

“And there should be a renewed effort to find appropriate alternative sites for processing the gas outside the Kimberley,” Mr Henry said.

Buy Nothing Christmas

Let this be the year that the spirit of Buy Nothing Day flows over into a Buy Nothing Christmas.

"Mining" Australia

From 'Collapse: How Societies Choose To Fail or Survive' by Jared Diamond [2005]:

How Is This "Policy Change" Going To Encourage Citizens To Use Public Transport?

This advertisement appeared in last week's [3/12/09] local News Ltd. press

Iconic Brisbane Band Sees Light At End Of Tunnel

The Clem Sevens

In preparation for the soon to be opened Woolloongabba to Bowen Hills tunnel, a group of Brisbane musicians have formed a new band.

Lead singer, Dusty "Dug" Digger, who has just graduated from the con, said the well known group of Brisbane's brightest living musical icons put together the band in a piece of shamelessly cynical self-promotion to cash in on the stupidity and gullibility of the locals.

"We saw how breathlessly gushy these idiots got about naming some piece of road infrastructure after the Go Betweens and we thought, 'hey, we'd like a piece of that'. We toyed around with names such as 'The Storeys', 'The Captain Cooks', 'The Riverside Expressways', 'The Gateway Duplication', 'The Inner City Bypasses' and someone even suggested 'The North Quays' but we decided to shoot for the top, that's how we came to be called 'The Clem Sevens'," he said.

With a new album - 'Rip-Off Tolls, Pollution and Peak Oil' - due to be released in conjunction with the tunnel opening, The Clem Sevens are gearing up for some gigs at the many live music venues throughout Brisbane and some nauseatingly lame interviews with Radio Rupert and the Limited News to mercilessly flog the album to death.

Controversy surrounding some of the album's tracks including - 'Soon there'll be nothing but tunnels and streets in your town', 'If you're white, privileged and educated at a private school, chances are you won't get Tazed on Vulture Street in your town', 'It's Open Season On Pedestrians On the Streets of your town', 'How daringly political for me to write a song about my baby driving an old car through the streets of your town', 'Round and round I drive through the leaking King George carpark of my town' and, 'I'll jeopardise my government arts grant and will be out on the streets of my town if I criticise coal mining, any aspect of government policy and don't suck up to Bowen Hills' - have attracted the attention of record companies, car manufacturers and the Queensland Proclamation Day Concert Committee.

Meanwhile, the 6.8 kilometre tunnel beneath the Brisbane River, which was due to open in October 2010, is running ahead of schedule and could open next April.

Brisbane's citizens will have a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience a free and efficient public transport service when bus tours of the tunnel commence next weekend.

A Question For The Department Of Environment And Resource Management

Lake Cootharaba in 2005 and 2009

Kelvin Grove To Get An ALDI?

The site of the proposed ALDI on the corner of Kelvin Grove Road and Bishop Street. Evidently the old store (which up until recently housed an adult shop) is listed on the Environmental Management Register due to "historical site activity of commercial printing".

A Development Application has been lodged with Brisbane City Council to build an ALDI supermarket on the corner of Kelvin Grove Road and Bishop Street, Kelvin Grove.

The Development Application states that the two level building, loading dock, signage and 77 car parking spaces is to be constructed on properties owned by Mariva Investments Pty Ltd (10 & 12 Bishop Street and 329 - 345 Kelvin Grove Road). These properties include the Kelvin Grove Nursery, The Big Red Shed and the former adult shop, which showcased the most bizarre window displays in Brisbane, and was also one of the most embarrassing backdrops to a bus stop.

Here are some other interesting tid bits from the application:

That ain't no way to treat a lady: The mannequin in the display window of the former adult shop is looking a bit worse for wear lately

Woman in uniform: An example of one of the renowned, themed window displays

The Things You See When You Don't Have A Gun

3.45 pm, 7 December. In the carpark, across the road from the Commonwealth Bank at Runaway Bay Shopping Village.

Young mother assembling a pram empties the pile of fast food fries from the baby seat onto the ground.

Spose if the government doesn't respect the environment, why should she?

Noosa Gets Free Public Transport (For A Week)

From 26 December to 3 January, residents and visitors will be able to travel on Noosa's public transport for free.

Public transport should be free all the time, but why aren't other places in South East Queensland doing the same?

Satire Event No. 1

Remember; remember the fifth of November December,
The gunpowder treason and plot,
I see no reason
Why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

It is time for change. It is time to return the governance of Australia to the hands of ordinary hard working Australians, and out of the hands of professional politicians who have betrayed Australian interests by continually implementing draconian laws which take away our freedoms.

In order to present our case to the public, members of the F.R.E.E AUSTRALIA PARTY will be going to Parliament house to do a satirical re-enactment of an action Guy Fawkes once saw as necessary to right the wrongs of Parliamentary excess. It is an action designed to draw attention to the fact that parliament house no longer represents the people it was elected to serve, and is instead run by people who think they have the right to rule over us, as opposed to serving us.

The re-enactment will take place on Saturday December 5, commencing in the Rundle Mall at 10am and will culminate at Parliament House where reasons for why we have done this action will be given.

Who Decides Which Public Assets To Sell?

"... Look at my hopes, look at my dreams
The currency we've spent
I love you, you pay my rent ..."

'Rent', Pet Shop Boys [1987]

The Yungaba Action Group are holding a demonstration against the sale of Yungaba at 10 am on Sunday, 13 December.

The hand-over of the state owned historic Yungaba to the developer is 15 December.

As Queensland's assets are sold off, we wonder just how many 'assets' does Queensland have, and what are they doing? For example, did you know that you own some prime commercial beachfront real estate? Did you know that it used to be just a boring old pool, kiosk, cafe and dunny but now it's 'a Gold Coast icon' and favourite wedding and reception venue earning hundreds of thousands of dollars for the people who aren't you?

There's been a tiny bit of hoo-haa in the mono-media about the questionable legality of the roof-top bar extensions which seem to have been commenced without either Council approval or permission of the landlord (your government's Department of Natural Resources).

If your cash starved government are so desperate for money that we need to sell all those other publicly owned income-producing assets at fire-sale prices, perhaps we should be flogging off these sort of properties instead?

The Burleigh Beach Pavilion

Update On Bigoted Email (See Below)

An eagle-eyed reader says:

"I am so tired of Australian racists who are so stupid they can't even make up their own lies."

And provides this fascinating link:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/canadaanthem.asp

Robotic Malfunction Delays PM's Plane

… It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Time Warp again ….

'Time Warp' by Richard O'Brien, 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' [1973]

A spokesperson for the PM has denied the malfunction was a result of hairdryer overload

With 'Spring Hill Voice's' Washington correspondent Chuck Moneyatit and wires.

A robotic malfunction has delayed the Prime Minister's return to Australia, following his meeting with the US President.

Not that it's a co-incidence or anything, but the PM's plane was about to leave Washington just before the Coalition voted whether or not climate change is crap and we should give the planet the benefit of the doubt at 9:00 am AEDT.

However, a spokesperson for the PM has denied the malfunction was the result of hairdryer overload.

Kevin Andrews is a Liberal MP, but the spokesperson said this had nothing to do with the emergency landing of the PM's plane at the Andrews Air Force Base.

The spokesperson would only confirm that a few of the PM's robots had malfunctioned at about the same time Tony Abbott became Leader of the Opposition.

But a source within the Licensed Aircraft Engineers Association says some of the robots on the PM's staff were "tweeting" during take off, and the tweets may have interfered with their circuits, causing them to malfunction.

The PM will remain in the US while his staff are reprogrammed, the dust surrounding the pre-Christmas rate rise settles, and Rupert decides whether or not there will be a double dissolution.

During talks at the White House earlier, President Obama said to the PM:

"Hey little buddy. Who are you? And where do you come from?"

The PM responded by articulating the desire of all Australians to continue our involvement in illegal invasions in the Middle East.

"And as long as it is cool with Rupert, the Obama family are very welcome to visit," he said.

"There may not be any koalas or other threatened species left for them to see, but Australians will make them feel very welcome - just ask Tiger Woods," he said.

Responses From Gold Coast Water (See Last Month)