Greens Media Release [29/8/09]

The Australian Greens today released pictures taken yesterday of the West Atlas Oil Spill indicating the extent to which the oil had spread from the oil rig, and called on the Government to intervene in a situation that is clearly worse than originally reported.

"This spill is far more serious than both the company and the Government are saying. We were not prepared for the extent of what we saw," said Senator Rachel Siewert, marine spokesperson for the Australian Greens.

"The Government must urgently intervene, to stand up to the oil companyand start immediate action to protect these precious waters and thewhale, turtle, fish and other species that call them home."

"In our time reviewing the site we measured oil from the spill to be 180km across (west to east). We did not have time to review the extent north or south, however from the rig site, the oil film spread from horizon to horizon."

"Wind and currents associated with the Kimberley's huge tidal movements mean that the spill is spreading and will continue to. It is simply not true to say the coast is not at risk from this spill. It is difficult to imagine how they can contain this spill."

"With oil sited in tidal lines only 20 km off the coast we expect it is only a matter of time before the first oil starts hitting the Kimberley coast and damaging fringing coral reefs and mangroves," said Senator Siewert.

"PTTEP Australasia has failed to provide any data about the amount of oil already discharged. However based on information available on average flow rates for similar wells in the region and the company's own data we estimate conservatively that at least 3000 barrels of oil per day are being released from the well. This amounts to a rate of 477,540 litres per day."

"A significant volume of oil will be discharged into the Timor Sea before the leak is fixed. Given the extent the oil has already spread in the week since the leak occurred, it is clear that its continued impacts in coming weeks will be monumental."

"Every day that action is delayed increases the environmental impact of this disaster. The company must be required to use the closest available equipment to close the leak as soon as possible. It cannot delay action for weeks while the rig from Singapore is moved down. The company must accept Woodside's offer of help and get the new rig on site as soon as possible."

"We have written to the Prime Minister asking him to intervene and ask the company to accept Woodside's offer," said Senator Siewert.

"The Greens and the Australian public don't want to see further unchecked, unregulated oil and gas development in our pristine environments, causing these massive environmental catastrophes."

"This information further highlights the need of an inquiry into this disaster, to ensure we don't see a repeat performance in the future," concluded Senator Siewert.

Pictures are available for download from:

http://rachel-siewert.greensmps.org.au/content/media-release/west-atlas-oil-disaster-demands-immediate-government-action

Video of the oil spill will be made available to the media on Sunday 30th August.

Proposal To Name Teneriffe As A Suburb

Who Does This Remind You Of?

Hint:

Hello Dickheads! Christmas Is Just Around The Corner

"Sharp End Of The Pineapple For You, Young Man!" Brisbane Road, Labrador [29/8/09]

"...It Is Better To Be The Smallest Babushka Doll Than The Biggest..."

'13 Jesuses', Garth Madsen

"David Is A Bully": Goliath

A BCC advertisement (which appeared in the News Ltd. press) inviting community members to attend neighbourhood planning sessions on the South Brisbane Riverside Neighbourhood Plan

Fairfax reports [29/8/09]:

A new Galaxy poll commissioned by the Australian Greens showsoverwhelming opposition to the logging of native forests. The poll of 1100 Australians conducted on 24-26 July reveals 77 percent agree the Rudd government should stop logging in native forests.

Australian Greens Leader Senator Bob Brown said the poll is solid evidence that Australians wanted an end to native forest destruction to immediately combat climate change and protect wildlife habitat.

"Prime Minister Rudd is offside with the majority of Australians who understand that the logging of native forests, including woodlands, is unnecessary and dangerous for the climate."

"Ending the destruction of Australia's native forests and woodlands could immediately reduce greenhouse gas output by some 20 percent," Senator Brown said.

The Galaxy Poll: [copy available on request] Question: The Australian National University has found that Australia's native forests contain a large amount of carbon that would be protected by ending forest clearance. In your opinion, do you agree or disagree that the Rudd government should stop the logging of native forests? Sample: 1100 Australians, 24-26 July, 2009 Strongly Agree: 43% Agree: 35% Total Agree: 77% Disagree: 11% Strongly Disagree: 3% Total Disagree: 14% Don't know/refused: 8% *Rounding applied to totals see poll for exact figures*

NSW Hospitals Baulk At QLD Women Seeking Abortions:

Greens Media Release [27/8/09]

This situation is now actually worse than the "bad old days" - thanks Blighty

Greens MP and health spokesperson Lee Rhiannon has called on the NSW and Queensland Premiers to urgently act on abortion law reform or risk a stand off where NSW hospitals refuse to conduct abortions on Queensland women travelling to NSW because hospitals have suspended services there.

"Reports that NSW hospitals have said they will review the case for carrying out abortions on Queensland women travelling to NSW because of the Queensland situation are disturbing," Ms Rhiannon said. ('Interstate abortion seekers face ban', The Australian, 27 August 2009 http://tinyurl.com/lxdllv). [Keep spreading the fear and bullshit News "women should be dumpy little do gooders or barefoot and pregnant or whores" Ltd. - love your work - Ed.]

"Premier Rees should shame Queensland Premier Anna Bligh into acting to modernise her state's outdated abortion laws by committing to reform in NSW.

"Women must have access to safe, convenient abortion services but Queensland has shown this is not guaranteed there or in NSW because of outdated laws criminalising abortion.

"In Queensland doctors are refusing to provide abortion services after a 19-year-old Cairns woman and her boyfriend were charged for organising an allegedly self-administered abortion.

"NSW laws are almost identical to those in Queensland - now is the time for change," Ms Rhiannon said.

On A Lighter Note: Ventti Papers!!!!

"1838 - The world's first pre-paid postal system was introduced by James Raymond, Colonial Postmaster-General of New South Wales."

How Bone Arsed Stupid Is This?

"Satellite's gone
Way up to Mars
Soon it will be filled
With parking cars"

'Satellite of Love', Lou Reed [1972]

A tree ... as seen by BCC from outer space!

From the Lord Mayor of Brisbane's August newsletter:

Wanted! The Goss On Your Geckos:

Queensland Museum Media Release [28/8/09]

Stowaway Asian House Geckoes have been arriving by cargo ship to Australia from exotic locations and they're settling into our homes.

Queensland Museum scientists are calling on residents to become scientists in their own backyards to help them find out more about the Asian House Gecko (Hemidactylus frenatus) distribution in Australia through completing an online survey at www.southbank.qm.qld.gov.au

As the weather starts to heats up already this year, Queensland Museum's National Science Week Coordinator Katherine Griffin said the Museum is launching Australia's first Asian House Gecko online survey in preparation for the breeding season in warmer months.

"The online survey will run for 12 months and is open to all Australian residents to record sightings of geckoes in their homes," Ms Griffin said.

"Photos of the Asian House Gecko and an identification key will make it easy for people to determine whether the geckoes they spot are the right species.

"The information collected from the survey will help our researchers reveal how this introduced species is impacting on our ecosystem and find out whether it is threatening our native geckos."

The survey takes about five minutes to complete and is online at www.southbank.qm.qld.gov.au

The Asian House Gecko online survey is another Queensland Museum initiative to involve the community in its science and research activities, complementing National Science Week 2009 activities where visitors met scientists and got up close with their microscopes, test tubes and specimens at Queensland Museum South Bank. Queensland Museum will release gecko survey progress results over the next 12 months in the lead-up to National Science Week 2010.

Having just completed its twelfth year, National Science Week is Australia's largest festival, with last year's calendar offering over 650 events throughout Australia, reaching an audience of over one million people. National Science Week 2009, 15-23 August, was supported by the Australian Government, and partners CSIRO, Australian Science Teachers Association and the ABC.

Brisbane Poll Damns Traveston

Save The Mary River Media Release [28/8/09]

A Griffith University poll has cast a shadow over the long held view of the Premier Anna Bligh that the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam has the support of Brisbane voters.

Save the Mary River Coordinating Group President Glenda Pickersgill said that the poll, which surveyed a random sample in Brisbane city, found 59% opposed to the dam.

"The survey results confirm the anecdotal evidence we have been getting from people in Brisbane since the dam proposal was first announced," said Ms Pickersgill.

"Since the dam was first mooted, the cost has more than doubled, while the anticipated yield has been cut back to about a third. You don't need to be Einstein to see that the present proposal is about one sixth as attractive as what was initially touted."

"This poll shows that people know enough about the proposal, which after 3 years has no state or federal approval, to see an expensive white elephant, in the making," Ms Pickersgill said.

"What is hard to understand, though, is why the government continues to pour good money after bad."

As well as the "Are you in favor or opposed to the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam" question, 74% of respondents said they were against damming a river if it impacted on endangered species while 59% said that damming a river in the face of climate change was not the most reliable way to secure water.

"There's been no shortage of scientists, scientific studies and environmental conservation groups condemning the Traveston Crossing Dam proposal," said Ms Pickersgill

"We have always been keen to see the results of an independent survey in Brisbane".

"I imagine that the government will now run off and conduct research to get the answers the Premier wants and then it will be up the people of Queensland to decide who they believe, the government's team of spin doctors or Griffith University".

www.savethemaryriver.com

If You Are Upset About The Removal Of Memorials At Snapper Rocks, Write/Speak To Your Local Councillor And The Lord Mayor

Memorial plaques on the rocks at Point Danger, Kirra. Some of them have been there for a number of decades. As you can see from this image from our Kirra photo essay back in June, they are barely noticeable and unobtrusive

Decision On Government's Internet Censorship Filter Just Weeks Away

Email from GetUp! [27/8/09]:

Here's a letter we wrote to Queensland Senators back in March this year.

Not one of them responded, so we sent it again today:

"I Love The History Of Brisbane": Lord Mayor

Last night [27/8/09], the ABC 7.00 news reported that headstones have been damaged in Toowong Cemetery and the Lord Mayor was concerned about it.

If he loves the history of Brisbane so much, why hasn't Council done something about the Temple of Peace, which has been boarded up since August 2007 after being vandalised.

The Temple of Peace, Toowong Cemetery - May 2006 and in May 2007

The heritage listed Temple of Peace, was erected in 1924 by Richard Ramo as a memorial to his four sons, three of whom had died in World War One. The heritage register states:

"The temple was more than just a personal memorial, it was an expression of revulsion of war, containing many pacifist and anti-war inscriptions. The dedication ceremony on 6 December 1924 was attended by several thousand people, including many socialists and pacifists. The band played 'The Red Flag' as the coffin was placed in the memorial."

The temple is also listed on the National Estate.

Watch Yourself

Chocolate Fairtrade Move Opens Way For More Ethical Consumer Goods

Greens Media Release [27/8/09]

The Australian Greens today welcomed reports that Cadbury Australia plans to achieve Fairtrade certification for their main chocolate line by mid 2010, but pointed to the need for adequate Government-mandated labelling systems.

"Whilst this is certainly good news for ethical producers of cocoa, milk and other ingredients sourced by Cadbury, it does show the need for Government to step up to the plate with proper, certified food labels," said Senator Rachel Siewert.

"It is important to remember that labels such as fairtrade are voluntary codes brought about by the failure of Government to provide an adequate labelling system."

"Our current labelling system does not even allow for accurate information on whether goods are produced within Australia. Myc olleagues Senators Brown, Joyce and Xenophon have introduced the Country of Origin Labelling Bill to correct this, and I urge the Government to bring on the debate on this important issue."

"Consumers now rely on private organisations to certify fairtrade,organic, bio-dynamic or other specialty accreditation, largely due to the lack of Government involvement in the area. This can add to the cost for producers and consumers alike," said Senator Siewert.

"With fairtrade certification within the sector growing at an impressive rate, the Government should be looking into how to support this movement, helping it to become the standard for our goods, not the exception."

"This move by Cadbury should encourage more companies to be involved in corporate responsibility, especially those not directly influenced by the consumer market."

"I applaud Cadbury Australia's decision today, and look forward to more of our industries taking the step towards fairly grown, fairly bought and fairly traded goods," she concluded.

Ask Your Federal MP What They Think About Torture

Media Statement from Michael Johnson, Federal Member For Ryan And Opposition Whip [25/8/09]

Hey Hey We're The Monkeys:

Updated "Dark Times In The Sunshine State" Version

Deal is done
Thanks to Peetie Beet
And all the nice folks up
There on Campbell Street

Hey Hey we're in Queensland
Plenty of coal in the ground
And the government is bringing
Bikie Laws to keep us all down

Watch the peddos don't get you
Cancer clusters are nothing new
We're selling off all our assets
And we'll taser you too

Hey Hey we're in Queensland
What on earth is that sound?
It's the church bells ringing
And construction of roads all around

We aren't very friendly
Only out Mudgeeraba way
And the young generation
Are too frightened to say

Hey Hey we're in Queensland
Please leave the coal in the ground
The future's looking unsteady
And the climate is getting me down

Hey Hey we're in Queensland
The environment's looking quite brown
But we're too busy marketing
And acting like a bunch of clowns

(with apologies to The Monkees)

Quote Of The Day

"Disturbing the patriarchy is profoundly important for development."

Tim Costello, World Vision CEO speaking at the National Press Club today [26/8/09]

Australia To Get A New Slogan

Australia: The environment is all yours

The Australian Government is spending $20 million on a new brand for the once lucky (now floundering) country.

It is understood that going forward, the Trade Minister will ask Australia's marketing and advertising agencies to come up with a new slogan - something along the lines of:

"Where the fuck are ya? Get your stupid fat arse over here and bring lots of money."

In a piece of marketing genius, the Department of Gilded Lillies, Arses-From-Elbows and Shit-From-Clay, will co-ordinate news outlets to fabricate a sense of excitement and suspense much the same as Queensland's recent 'Best Job Job Job In The World' campaign.

Ms Syn Ick, from the Department, gave what appeared to be an impromptu and unscripted statement to the media.

"Gosh! What an unexpected surprise, what are all you reporters doing here with your cameras and things?" she feigned.

"Well, I haven't prepared anything but now that you ask, the way it will work is that it will be reported all over tonight's news and in the papers. That will be followed up by a few day's of scripted and fabricated 'argy bargy' in the talkback sphere, a bit of general criticism and so on, but the idea will take root and then there will be a fake competition to keep interest up. We haven't concluded the deal on the reality TV show yet, which is a bit unprofessional I admit, but I should mention Baz Luhrmann."

'SpringHillVoice' has been handed the contents of the rubbish bin used in brainstorming the project and can report that some ideas didn't make it to the shortlist of new slogans. One, apparently aimed at Indian students, was "What are ya scared of ya gutless wus? Never been stabbed and bashed before? Get smart, get over here and get a degree! Oh, and bring ya money!"

After the abject waste of money on that woeful 'Australia' film, it was decided that 'Wolf Creek' would be used to attract backpackers with the slogan "Wilderness, Solitude and The Outback! Take A Stab In The Dark: Australia."

For stupid people, the largest demographic to be targetted by the campaign, the shortlisted slogans included:

"Australia: It's Probably Bigger Than Your Country", "Help! Help! We're Going Broke!" and "World Class Country, World Class Coal, World Class Spin! Australia - We Dare You!"

Ms Ick accidently dropped her notes and we noticed a page titled "Winning Entry" which had the following written on it:

"Australia: Statistics Prove It Probably Won't Kill You!"

Suburban Jasmine Going Crazy!!!

Financial Crisis Called Off

Russians: Updated 2009 Down Under Version

In China and in India, do chicken wraps have listeria?
And when they're flying in a jet
Their carbon emissions? Do they offset?
Mr Chavez wants to socialise you
Ahmadinejad holds a similar view
Without the free market we know we're screwed
How we Aussies love our children too

I go to church and sing about joy
While Oppenheimer's deadly toy
Is how I make my dollars and cents
Digging up uranium just over the fence
I make no apology
For decimating the ecology
There's plenty up in Kakadu
Yes we Aussies love our children too

Sometimes I get angry and have to vent
When the bloody tenants don't pay the rent
I don't care what we're fighting for
In this neverending middle eastern war
Mr Murdoch tells me what to do
And climate change is nothing new
Who and where and how to screw
Buy another house and a new car too

It's clear the epidemiology
Shows that it's insanity
A nasty future in full view
Do we Aussies love our children too?

(With apologies to Sting)

Mobius Strip: Waiting For Telstra To Fix The Phone

"The world is a circle without a beginning,
And nobody knows where it really ends.
Everything depends on where you
Are in the circle that never begins.
Nobody knows where the circle ends...

'The World Is A Circle', Burt Bacharach and Hal David [1972]

Thanks For Dropping This In My Letterbox, It Is An Excellent Remedy For Insomnia

Thanks for delivering your budget speech. But when are you going to drag this state into the 21st century and give women the right to control their own fertility?

Southport Local Passes Commentary On GE Finance

Brisbane People All Dags: Experts

"Good day to you madam, I received your badly worded email. Are you wearing a thong to the races?"

HAVE YOUR SAY: How stupid are you? Do you need so called etiquette experts to tell you how to dress?

Some 'experts' have come all the way to Brisbane to tell us all how poorly mannered and dressed we are. "Thanks", we all shout politely. They have kindly pointed out how daggy we are and how we really have no idea about how to dress appropriately.

"You are all very daggy, you know. You really have no idea how to dress appropriately. And don't get us started on your appalling manners," they said.

As part of the travelling show 'Be Modern, Now!', the experts, Ms Bong and Mrs Bash, are being paid by your taxes to criticise you. Great!

If you want to be criticised you really need to book early so you don't miss out. Details will be on their website: www.yucky-you.org and their helpful hints will save you from mortifying humiliation next time you venture out into civilised society.

With the Mercedes-Benz Fascist week celebrations coming up, there has never been a better time to learn mindless conformity. You go, girlz!

Politeness, decency and compassion will not be covered.

Gabba Bikie Clubhouse Terror

Residents and local business owners thought the property was going to be a dress shop, but this man was inside! WTF!

'Spring Hill Voice' made a shocking discovery while getting down and dirty in Woolloongabba yesterday.

We can reveal that what appears to be dress shop undergoing renovations is actually a bikie clubhouse.

Peering inside, we were confronted by the vision of a man dressed in black leather, sporting a large handlebar moustache, singing 'Macho Man' and dancing about.

There was also an evil looking pool table and bar, plus a menacing sign featuring the letters: "PISS OFF YOU NOSEY LITTLE DO GOODER".

HAVE YOUR SAY: Who was your favourite member of the Village People? Mine was the construction worker.

Gabba locals are so terrified by the clubhouse (as well as the possibility that a Chinese restaurant may open in the area), they have been rendered incapable of expressing concern about the really crooked stuff going on around town.

Of course, everybody knows Woolloongabba is a lot more cosmopolitan these days. Obliterating the Gabba Hotel to make way for an an architectural monstrosity inhabited by pretentious bounders was the best thing that could have happened!

"After midnight, were gonna let it all hang down.
After midnight, were gonna chug-a-lug and shout.
Were gonna stimulate some action;
Were gonna get some satisfaction.
Were gonna find out what it is all about.
After midnight, were gonna let it all hang down."

'After Midnight', written by J. J. Cale and made famous by Eric Clapton [1970]

All aboard the "Midnight Runner"!

The Brisbane City Council has unveiled its new "Midnight Runner" bus service, which will transport ragers, party animals and professional rugby league players to and from the inner city's various vibrant, iconic and smoke free entertainment, creative, cultural, gambling and dining precincts.

The "Midnight Runners" will connect the Alhambhra Lounge with the Uber on Friday and Saturday nights, via the Normanby and the Casino.

The top deck of the "Midnight Runners" will be divided from the lower deck and will be reserved for the professional rugby league players.

HAVE YOUR SAY: No. You can't have your say. I'm having my say. These so called "party buses" are just meaningless spin. If Brisbane was really as world class and sophisticated as it claims it is, the city would have free public transport.

"Even though they'll look like buses, they'll feel like a tram," said a spokesperson from Council's "What Can We Come Up With Next To Distract People" Unit.

"Although we already have a service which is similar to the "Midnight Runner", there is no need to be cynical about our motives."

Transwank have not advised how much fares will be on the "Midnight Runners" because they are yet to consult with the taxi industry.

Quiconque pense que Brisbane jamais aura un arrangement d'embauche de vélo avec high-tech mettre à quai les stations est sérieusement trompé ! Ha Ha Ha ! Qu'un tas de merde !

Some Greens Media Releases [19/8/09]:

(Revised 18 August 2009 "poverty amid the supposedly well performing retail sales and consumer confidence figures" version)

The economy's crashing, shops are closing down
I am bankrupt and the wife has skipped town
We separated and now I'm left all alone
Just to save our family home.

Nobody cares
What David Speers "tweets"
Our leaders all sing from the same old song sheet
And though it's like witnessing the fall of Rome
I still call Australia home.

My sons and daughters won't travel the world
With QANTAS we've nothing to spend
And as the world gets warmer, not colder
Who can tell where it all will end?

Free kicks for the rich and taxing the poor
Toxic waste dumps and oil slicks on the shore
At least we're unlikely to get killed by a drone
I still call Australia home.

I've pawned my guitar
Along with my phone
I still call Australia home.

With apologies to Peter Allen (although I'm quite sure he'd understand).

No Nonsense Claim by Anti-Dam Activists

Media Release [17/8/09]

Queensland Premier Anna Bligh's claim that "it is nonsense to compare the Traveston Crossing dam with a resort at Inskip Point in the state's south-east" shows that she is obviously misinformed by her advisors said Save the Mary River Coordinating Committee President, Glenda Pickersgill.

"There's been no shortage of scientists, scientific studies and environmental conservation groups condemning the Traveston Crossing Dam proposal," Ms Pickersgill said.

"By calling any comparison "nonsense" Premier Anna Bligh has elevated herself to the ranks of once-notable biologist Harry Butler who claimed that the Franklin River in Tasmania wasn't really wilderness, or her Tasmanian counterpart, then-Premier Robin Gray, who referred to the Franklin as a 'leech-ridden ditch'," Ms Pickersgill said.

"Yes while cleared land can be degraded, that's no justification to destroy it further or condemn millions of dollars of restoration work already done in the Mary catchment. This dam proposal puts at risk over 500ha of endangered riparian rainforest along the streams of the Mary river, over 50 state and federally listed threatened species and an internationally recognised Ramsar Wetlands at the mouth that needs fresh water." Ms Pickersgill said.

"No one claims the Mary as wilderness but the real test has to be what lives here now," Ms Pickersgill said.

"The Premier would do well to recognize that the impacts of a dam cover a far wider area than what is inundated."

"By pretending that a Research Centre will ensure survival of threatened species like the iconic "living fossil" the Queensland Lungfish or the unique Mary River Turtle, the Premier shows an appalling lack of understanding of biological principles. As Peter Garrett pointed out just recently, ecosystem protection has to hold the key."

"In light of the Premier Bligh's reluctance to accept that the impacts of a dam would be beyond any mitigation measures, you'd have to question who stands to benefit from the purchase of land when the project doesn't get federal approval. Why did the Queensland government form a $1 pty ltd company called Queensland Water Infrastructure (QWI) to purchase over 14,000 ha of land in the Mary Valley before the project has state or federal approval?" Ms Pickersgill said.

"There are other ways to get more reliable water supplies - like catching water where it falls on the coast efficiently. But there is no other way to save a river and its threatened species."

"We are calling on Premier Anna Bligh to stop the nonsense around greenwash mitigation measures and get on with the approval's process so that the disastrous Traveston Crossing Dam project can be stopped once and for all."

www.savethemaryriver.com

Background notes: QWI is a government owned company that operates outside the oversight of both the Public Service Commission and the Attorney General's department and is not required to report publically about its expenditure. It has funneled over half a billion dollars out of state funds but doesn't seem to fall easily into any of the management structures that have been put in place to ensure corruption doesn't creep in.

Opportunity For The Liberals

Gillard's Teacher Pay Plan Based On Howard Era Agenda:

Greens Media Release [17/8/09]

Federal Education Minister Julia Gillard's endorsement of a reportadvocating performance-based pay scales for teachers revives the agenda of the Howard Government, according to Greens NSW MP John Kaye.

Commenting on a story in today's Sydney Morning Herald ('Share the best teachers and pay well: report', p3), Dr Kaye said:

"The Federal Government is recycling the ideological agenda of the Howard years.

"The Rees government should reject the push from Canberra to divide NSW staffrooms.

"Public education is, at heart, a cooperation between teachers, students and parents.

"Performance based pay undermines cooperation and morale, pressures teachers to teach to arbitrary tests and does nothing to address the real needs of public education.

"Teaching is a demanding profession that should be given greater respect by policy makers by increasing pay and conditions for all teachers," Dr Kaye said.

What Is The Government Hiding On Cubbie?

The Minister for Climate Change and Water, Senator Penny Wong in parliament yesterday [17/8/09]

From Senate Hansard:

After ducking and weaving, the Minister eventually said:

The bottom line from the government on compulsory acquisition is:

So there you go you pesky Greens with your irritating questions, trying to find out what's going on for the benefit of Australian citizens.

The only way that anything can be done is through the "free market" - in the words of Maggie Thatcher, "there is no alternative".

And yet, the neoliberal ideology of our current crop of puppet politicians is always flexible.

Why aren't these principles applied to the good residents of Traveston, or any other Australian citizen whose house happens to be on the route of a big stinking infrastructure development?

BCC Landmark "Dickhead" Water Transport Deal

The Gold Coast's Adventure and Aqua Ducks, colloquially known by locals as "Dickhead Ducks" - are versatile on land or water

Brisbane City Council has signed a landmark "dickhead" deal to save millions of dollars, while at the same time spending millions of dollars!

The "Dickhead" ducks pictured in this story have nothing to do with the landmark "dickhead" deal. They are a tourist attraction on the Gold Coast that makes locals laugh and say, "Look at those dickheads in those silly ducks!"

A "dickhead" deal is usually brokered by a bunch of corporate banking expert "dickheads" for millions of dollars of fees. The terms and conditions are always commercial in confidence, and though the corporate media are usually in the loop, they will present the deal to you as if it is too complicated for you to understand.

A "dickhead" deal involves selling the public's assets and then leasing them back, while promising to buy them back in a few years time. Sure it smells like fiscal insanity, and makes you wonder who's going broke, but really - it's none of your business. Why don't you just go and buy another car?

Of course everybody - except the car/fossil fuel/road lobby and corporate media - knows that making public transport free is the answer. In Queensland, it would cost less than $120 million as a result of savings in implementing dodgy ticketing systems, cash handling and ticket inspectors. By getting cars off the road, free public transport would also lessen congestion and reduce carbon emissions.

Bus Depot Markets Without The Bus Depot?

The Canberra Times brings word that the Gubbmint is planning to tear down the old Kingston bus depot to flog off the land for yuppie hutches.

The plan is to throw up some form of building to house the markets down by the lake.

If a new building is approved, the markets will be run from an undercover car park for 12 months until the construction finishes. The ACT Heritage Council has decided the 1940s buildings, which were once used to service Canberra’s buses, lack the historical or architectural value to warrant listing on the Heritage Register.
Heresy? Or who cares?

Government And Opposition Renewables Deal Welcome:

But Community Will Pay So Polluters Can Benefit

Greens Media Release [16/8/09]

The Greens today welcomed news that community pressure has ensured that the increased renewable energy target legislation will be implemented swiftly. However Greens Deputy Leader, Senator Christine Milne, expressed concern that Penny Wong has picked up the phone to the Coalition to ensure that the community will pay to install renewable energy so that polluters can benefit from the cheap energy they produce.

"It is an ominous sign that Minister Wong has chosen to brown down the renewable energy target with the coalition and the polluters," SenatorMilne said.

"The Greens have proposed amendments to the bill that are supported by renewable energy industry, while the Coalition and the Government are doing the bidding of the big polluters.

"While this is a disappointing move, the critical point is that we bring on the renewable energy target legislation as swiftly as possible, to unleash the tremendous potential of renewable energy to re-energise Australia and create tens of thousands of jobs.

"Modelling has shown clearly that the renewable energy target will reduce the pool price of electricity because it will smooth the most expensive peaks. Under this deal between the big old parties, the polluters will get windfall gains from cheaper electricity without having to pay to install the renewable energy in the first place. How is that fair or reasonable?

"Both the big old parties have been using Australia's clever and clean renewable energy industry as a political football. Both old parties bend over backwards to sandbag the old polluters, but neither is willing to give priority to the renewable energy powerhouse that the Australian community wants."

Senator Milne wrote to Ministers Wong and Combet on Friday setting out the Greens' proposed amendments to the RET. The Greens' amendments would:

* Lift the target to 30% by 2020, expressed as a percentage of total energy demand, and introduce a two-yearly review of the adequacy of the target;

* Decouple the bill from the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme by simply removing the exemptions for polluting industry (since there is compelling evidence that the pool price for electricity will drop due to the RET, an exemption would give a windfall gain to polluters);

* Fix the problem of 'phantom renewable energy credits' created by the solar multiplier and lift the size limit on solar installations;

* Replace the ill-thought-out solar multiplier with a gross national feed-in tariff for all forms of renewable energy; and

* Strengthen the definition of renewable energy by removing native forest bioenergy, solar water heating and heat pumps.

"Having provided the amendments to her last week, I will be getting in touch with Minister Wong again to encourage her to green up the renewable energy bill with us, rather than brown it down with the Coalition, and get it signed into law as swiftly as possible."

Purling Brook Falls [16/8/09]

Every weekend, Aussies are told by the ABC, SBS and corporate media that having a few drinks will give them cancer and that women in middle eastern nations are oppressed

View from on top of the Purling Brook Falls ... No snakes, no escaped villains, but an urgent need for rain

George Haddock Memorial Bridge And the old Pump House

Cycad Flower (Lepidozamia peroffskyana) and crazy skippy ladeyee from the suburbs hugging a Tallowwood (Eucalyptus Microcorys)!

Government Accused Of Hypocrisy

Media Release [16/8/09]

Groups fighting the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam on the Mary River say the Queensland state government will be guilty of "blatant hypocrisy" if it presses on with its plans for the dam after its decision to veto the Rainbow Shores development on environmental grounds.

While the Rainbow Shores development had been at the centre of the Labor mates scandal, the Premier said her decision was based on the need to protect the significant environmental values of the 200ha site.

Save the Mary River Coordinating Group President Glenda Pickersgill said the impacts of a dam, where already over 14,000 ha of land had been purchased by Queensland Water Infrastructure (a $1 government owned Pty Ltd company), had received enormous attention since the proposal was announced back in 2006.

"There's been no shortage of scientists and scientific studies condemning the Traveston Crossing Dam proposal," Ms Pickersgill said.

"Last year the Senate called for the project to be scrapped, but the government just thumbed its nose at that call and continued to pour money into property purchases and developing the Environmental Impact Statement to send to Peter Garrett for approval."

"The impacts of a dam are far wider than just the dam area itself. Just recently a comprehensive study of all 18 estuaries between Miriam vale and Rainbow Beach highlighted the risks for the Mary and the importance of maintaining good environmenatal flows."

Greater Mary Association Chairman, Darryl Stewart said in light of their reluctance to accept that the impacts of a dam are beyond any mitigation measures, you'd have to question whether the government's Rainbow Shores decision isn't more about protecting mates scalps than protecting the environment.

"If we are to take the Premier's word that the Rainbow Shores development would pose an unacceptable environmental risk, then we call on her to use the same yardstick for the controversial Traveston Crossing Dam proposal. She needs to act decisively to axe it now."

www.savethemaryriver.com

The full estuary report can be found at http://www.bmrg.org.au/information.php/2/106/350

The report describes other promising attributes from the future of the Mary estuary, the fact that its estuarine riparian zone is largely intact and that a considerable proportion of the river's catchment is classified as "conservation and natural environments".

Bali is not a paradise for some ...

What if your son or daughter
made a mistake?
Would you abandon them? Let them rot?

Use them as a political pawn?

I don't think so.

I think you would you do everything in your power
to bring them home.

You would say:

"While there is life in his body, I will be there"

Are we civilised, or a nation of barbarians?
You are our leader.
Please use your influence to commute this death sentence.

Most Australian kids aren't as privileged as yours.
Sometimes they stuff up.
Does that mean they should be put to death by firing squad?

How would you feel if your son or daughter said:

"Mum. Dad. Hope should be taken out of the dictionary"

http://www.asu.asn.au/campaigns/humanrights.html

http://www.scottarush.com.au/

http://aacp.wordpress.com/

Queensland Conservation Council Celebrate's 40th Anniversary

Interesting snippets from the QCC's August newsletter:

Hey! Don't Diss The Bearded Lady: She Knows A Thing Or Two

Lindsay Tanner .... What's going on? We thought you were a real man?

at the end of the Transiberian rail line
is Russia's largest port
Vladisvostok is a place
where many fish are caught

with plenty of mass media
50 papers every day
not like in Australian cities
where one man has his way

which probably explains
why public discourse has become
weasel words, talking points
and bearded lady puns

it is especially evident
on Friday evening's 'Lateline'
when any progressive notions
are treated like a crime

where are all the journalists?
or leaders who give us hope?
as this country drifts and slides
a neocon outpost and a joke

for there is no bearded lady
in Vladivostok city
though Yul Brynner lived there
but he's long gone, more's the pity

Greens Propose Amendments To Unlease Renewable Energy:

Greens Media Release [14/8/09]

The Australian Greens today released proposed amendments to strengthen the Renewable Energy Target bill and unleash the tremendous potential of renewable energy.

Greens Deputy Leader, Senator Christine Milne, wrote to Ministers Wong and Combet setting out the amendments which have been circulated to all Senators this morning. Senator Milne also moved in the Senate yesterday to give precedence to the RET bill over all other business of the Senate as soon as it is passed in the House of Representatives.

"It is time to end the unnecessary and damaging delays both old parties have caused to the renewable energy bill," Senator Milne said.

"Unlike the Continue Polluting Regardless Scheme, which would have held back action on the climate crisis, the renewable energy target bill is a vital step in the right direction, even if it is not as strong as it could and should be.

"The collapse of the CPRS opens the door to a suite of other measures that can be implemented immediately to move ahead with ambitious action on the climate crisis, before an amended CPRS returns to the Parliament. The renewable energy target is the first step.

"We Greens are calling on the Government to immediately bring on the renewable energy target legislation, to unleash the tremendous potential of renewable energy to re-energise Australia and create tens ofthousands of jobs.

"Both the big old parties have been using Australia's clever and clean renewable energy industry as a political football. Both old parties bend over backwards to sandbag the old polluters, but neither is willing to give priority to the renewable energy powerhouse that the Australiancommunity wants."

The letter, from Senator Milne to Ministers Wong and Combet, sets out the Greens' proposed amendments to:

* Lift the target to 30% by 2020, expressed as a percentage of total energy demand, and introduce a two-yearly review of the adequacy of the target;

* Decouple the bill from the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme by simply removing the exemptions for polluting industry (since there is compelling evidence that the pool price for electricity will drop due to the RET, an exemption would give a windfall gain to polluters);

* Fix the problem of 'phantom renewable energy credits' created by the solar multiplier and lift the size limit on solar installations;

* Replace the ill-thought-out solar multiplier with a gross national feed-in tariff for all forms of renewable energy; and

* Strengthen the definition of renewable energy by removing native forest bioenergy, solar water heating and heat pumps.

"I look forward to working with Minister Wong to improve the renewable energy bill and get it signed into law as swiftly as possible."

Australian Chooks To Strike

Mr Bucky Berk emailing members of the Caged Fowl Collective about the forthcoming strike

The head of Australia's peak union representing feathery friends says Australian chooks will strike against plans to reduce cage eggs.

The giant grocery monopoly, Worthlesses, has announced plans to screw egg farmers even more than previously.

The PR spin for the initiative dressed it up as a chicken friendly move away from cage eggs.

"In this business spin is everything," said Worthlesses' media adviser.

"Look, we can't just say we want to screw producers for even more obscene profits, we have to present the move in a way that is acceptable to stupid people."

But Mr Bucky Berk, chief executive of Caged Fowl Collective, said the cage birds saw right through the spin.

"This is just a sly money grab aimed at putting all hard-working factory hens on even longer hours under worse conditions. They want to take away our clucktive bargaining rights and put us all on these 'Egg Bargaining Agreements' (E.B.A.s)," she said.

The poultry strike would threaten egg sales from next week. Worthlesses wants conditions tied directly to productivity.

"After all, they just sit about all day like office workers while we feed and shelter them, all that stuff costs money," said the PR person.

Katter Sees Crocodiles On The Roof

From House of Representatives Hansard [11/8/09]:

"I'm A Shell Of My Former Self":

Big Prawn

"I've been everywhere man, I've been everywhere man
I've crossed the desert bare man,
I've breathed the mountain air man
Of travel I've had my share man
I've been everywhere"

'I've Been Everywhere', written by Geoff Mack [1959] and made popular by the singer Lucky Starr [1962]

Ballina's Big Prawn ... "If I con't move to Tin Can Bay, I'm not going anywhere"

Ballina's Big Prawn has expressed disappointment that his home town doesn't want him anymore, but he's not keen on relocating to suggested destinations.

Media reports today claim that both the Gold Coast and Coffs Harbour are considering taking the Big Prawn after it was announced he was to be demolished.

"That's very generous of them, but if I can't move to Tin Can Bay, I'm not going anywhere," he said, tears pouring out of his little black beady eyes.

"Quite frankly, this entire episode has been very traumatic for me - I'm a shell of my former self."

HAVE YOUR SAY: Should the Big Prawn get with the times and make way for a hideous architectural monstrosity with a large pokey out awning and overpriced cappuccinos masquerading as a key iconic destination?

Local politicians and tourism spokesmen furiously agree that the Big Prawn is nothing but a big pain in the arse and certainly not a proper tourist attraction.

"The only folks who care about the Big Prawn are the thousands of tourists who stop to have their photo taken with him," said a local politician.

"The Big Prawn could learn a few lessons from the Big Pineapple and shut his big prawnie mouth," said a tourism spokesman.

"He has no appeal at all. Oh ha ha ha I am so hilarious - see - if the Big Prawn could crack funny jokes like that rather than just sitting there like, well, a Big Prawn, then there might be a future for him."

But the Big Prawn rejected claims that it was time for him to move on.

"They say they'll be glad to see the back of me, but surely twenty years stands for something?"

The Big Prawn also cited an ongoing "personality clash" with the Big Banana.

"He's very competitive, so last time I saw him, I gave him the Big Finger," he said.

Rudd Government's Actions At Odds With Statement On Climate Science

Greens Media Release [12/8/09]

The Rudd Government's articulation of the science of climate change today shows up their utter failure to act on what that science requires, the Australian Greens said. Greg Combet's Ministerial Statement on the scientific imperative to act on climate change was largely correct, if out of date, up until the conclusion that the Rudd Government's Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme effectively addresses that scientific imperative.

"Mr Rudd's Continue Polluting Regardless Scheme locks in failure on the clear climate warning that Greg Combet delivered to the Parliament today," Australian Greens Deputy Leader, Senator Christine Milne, said.

"The Rudd Government's actions are completely out of step with their understanding of climate science, even though their science is behind the most recent warnings.

"The 450 ppm limit on global atmospheric greenhouse gases is way behind the current science, with clear evidence that we must rapidly bring carbon concentrations down to 350 ppm if we are to preserve a safe climate.

"What is more, the Rudd Government's targets give us no hope that the world will even stay under the 450 ppm limit, putting us on track to 550ppm and climate catastrophe.

"If Australia gets an easy ride, what country does the Government expect to shoulder more of the load in our stead?

"Mr Rudd, Mr Combet and Senator Wong seem to think that, if they repeat warnings about climate impacts enough, people will believe that they are doing something about it.

"In fact, their proposed CPRS would lock in failure, making those impacts far worse.

"The Greens will not vote to lock in failure and we will keep working to promote our policies for ambitious action to protect the climate."

Snobbish Lord Mayor Comments Unhelpful

Greens Media Release [12/8/09]

"I'm not sure who appointed Lord Mayor Robert Doyle the world's greatest authority on the western suburbs, but calling us 'bogans' really doesn't help," said Greens MLC Colleen Hartland

"I'd like to see Mr Doyle lobby for young people in the west to have somewhere to go locally that doesn't feature a pokies machine, and decent public transport to get there."

"I'm a person from the western suburbs who comes to the city, and Robert Doyle is just going to have to deal with it. I brought my best set of moccasins to Spring Street."

"News flash Robert Doyle - the Western Suburbs are part of Melbourne. We wouldn't live anywhere else, and we really don't care much for snobs," said Ms Hartland.

ASU Launches Human Rights Petition To Outlaw The Death Penalty

[Media Release: 7/8/09]

The ASU has today launched a petition calling for the national outlawing of capital punishment to protect Australians both here and abroad from the death penalty.

The petition calls for the Parliament of Australia to prohibit the use of capital punishment against Australian citizens at home or abroad, as well as an expansion of the current repatriation program. The petition seeks to have all Australian citizens serving a custodial sentence in a foreign country repatriated to Australia.

The ASU web page to join in and sign the petition (either online or on paper) can be located at:

http://www.asu.asn.au/campaigns/humanrights.html

The ASU encourages our members and supporters to circulate the petition, either the link to the online version or print outs of the paper version, to family, friends, colleagues and the community.

The ASU is working with community groups like the "Make the Death Penalty History" committee from Victoria.

[You can also access a petition specifically relating to Scott Rush at: http://www.scottarush.com.au/

As well as petitions and letters here: http://aacp.wordpress.com/]

"Ellas danzan con los desaparecidos
Ellas danzan con los muertos
Ellas danzan con amores invisibles
Ellas danzan con silenciosa angustia
Danzan con sus pardres
Danzan con sus hijos
Danzan con sus esposos
Ellas danzan solas
Danzan solas"

'They Dance Alone (Cueca Solo)' Sting [1987]

Queensland To Launch S.T.U.P.I.D. Card By 2010

One of the "S.T.U.P.I.D." cards

From next year all Queenslanders will be issued with a special card which will prove to their fellow Australians once and for all how gullible they really are.

The Security Transport Universal Public Identifying Device (S.T.U.P.I.D.) card is embedded with a micro chip, which is so technologically advanced, it has the ability to do things such as automatically deduct fines for jaywalking and traffic offences from the card bearer's bank account.

The micro-chip can also be enabled to tally up frequent flyer points, monitor bowel movements, emit a loud beep when the card bearer has an incorrect thought and release an electric shock when the card bearer uses public transport.

The S.T.U.P.I.D. cards have been six years in the planning because it has taken that long for the state's legislators to find the right time to introduce them.

"Conditions right now are are perfect," said a S.T.U.P.I.D. spokesperson.

"Queenslanders have had over twenty years of mono-media and around about the same exposure to neocon propaganda, so we feel they will be very accepting of the S.T.U.P.I.D. card."

The S.T.U.P.I.D. cards will feature a PIN number which the authorities can use to access all manner of personal data.

"The authorities will certainly not misuse this data," said the S.T.U.P.I.D. spokesperson.

"And quite frankly, if you don't do anything wrong you won't have anything to worry about."

We asked a consumer watch group rather than the council for civil liberties what they thought about the S.T.U.P.I.D. card because everybody knows Queenslanders are no longer citizens but consumers.

They expressed concerns about fascist creeps, then went off to get botox injections so they looked good for their photo.

The Bogus Bullshit Kookaburra Song

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Pondering law and cre-a-tiv-i-ty
You may be laughing it on up Kookaburra!
But nothing comes for free

Copyright case in the Federal Court
What a scandal, what a rort
How did it come to this Kookaburra?
Pay your royalties

Kookaburra livin' in a land down under
Oblivious to the attempts to plunder
Everyone wants a piece Kookaburra!
When you come from the land of plenty

Hope Kookaburra doesn't have to go to jail
Wonder if the judge will give him bail?
Why Kookaburra? Do they only see Kookaburra?
Art as commodity?

(With apologies to Marian Sinclair and Men At Work)

Andrew Fisher: An Underestimated Man

FISHER, ANDREW (1862-1928), prime minister, was born on 29 August 1862 at Crosshouse, near Kilmaurs, Ayrshire, Scotland, second son of Robert Fisher, coalminer, and his wife Jane, née Garvin.

Those were the days.

From Peter Bastian's latest book 'Andrew Fisher: An Underestimated Man' (2009):

Southport Bathing Pavilion Refurbishment Underway

The Southport Bathing Pavilion is currently undergoing a refurbishment. Evidently it is set to be transformed into a "Community Centre".

There are two, large outdoor chessboards near the pavilion (G.R. Thompson Park).

Wonder what happened to the chessboard pieces? In nearly two years of living in the area, I've never once spotted anyone playing. Perhaps this activity will be resurrected when the "Community Centre" opens?

Why Would Anyone Build A School Right Next Door To A Tip?

The Suntown Tip at Arundel is right next door to the Arundel State School.

The Arundel State School opened in 1994. The Suntown tip is still operating and looks set to expand and continue collecting rubbish.

Why?

Local Councillor Margaret Grummitt wants the facility closed:

Where are Peter Lawlor (State member), Kate Jones (State Minister for Climate Change and Sustainability) and Stuart Robert (Federal member)? Don't they care about the health and well being of a bunch of state school kids?

Other landmarks in the area include the Mike Hatcher Junior Motorcycle Club and the Colgate Palmolive Factory:

Also spotted on the perimeter of the tip were two freeranging chooks attempting to cross Captain Cook Drive !!!!!

Boogeyman Detection Dog Starts Queensland Train Patrol

"Outspoken": Pouffeney, spokesdoggy for the P.L.O. (Poodle Liberation Organisation).

Measures announced today to save the Blighty dictatorship from negative public opinion could backfire in their faces, just like might happen to a dimwitted dog chasing an old, badly tuned, car according to Queensland's foremost authority on canine affairs, Pouffeney.

"If you chase a car there is always the chance that it will backfire in your face - a frightening and scary turn of events. Trust me," said Pouffeney at a scripted and highly fabricated media event today [9/8/09].

"This latest piece of garbage aimed at users of public transport by the Blighty regime is designed solely to scare, criminalise, alienate and otherwise marginalise the non-elite. It's all a complete load of crap designed for the mono-media crooks who run this State," she added.

"They need a new Boogeyman and this is it. 'Alert and Alarmed and Bat-Shit Stupid' should be their new name for this hugely wasteful exercise in futility."

Look Out For The Boogeyman On Public Transport - Government Says

The Regime has announced that they have a new dog on the job trained to sniff out guns, explosives, nuclear weapons and pop-guns. The Minister for the Police State Mr Robertson's Fruit Mince said:

"This is a new initiative aimed to stop all the annoying shootings, bombings, nuclear and pop-gun attacks which have become an all too common feature on our trains. These annoyances have been annoying the fare-paying public for far too long and now we've done something about it, at last, and not a moment too soon."

"We have a new dog," he added helpfully.

"The new doggy, 'Bogus', will be available on all suburban train stations to sniff out and attack fare-evaders. The 'International Crisis Groupies' have identified fare-evaders as the sector of society most likely to have nuclear weapons or pop-guns on their minds when arrested, jailed, tortured and confessing to crimes against the State."

Here at 'Spring Hill Voice' we have always supported and encouraged that kind of logic, and you should too. We urge all our readers to be 100% behind 'Bogus' as he bravely attacks commuters and their backpacks. Stop by your local library and pick up your "This is Bogus" photo sticker for a bronze coin donation to show your support for our campaign.

And remember, next time you're pulled up by a surly fluoro-clad officer with a dog and told to stand spread-eagled against a wall, be sure to smile, wink and say: "This is Bogus, isn't it?" You're sure to share a chuckle with 'Bogus' and his handler when they know you are a supporter. 'Bogus' is the future of policing and it's good to be prepared!

Mervin O'Halloran of Acacia Ridge, the previous owner of 'Bogus', tells us that he will probably get by without his guide dog.

"I can probably bumble about and get by without my guide dog, I suppose. The PR people from Blighty's office just came and grabbed him yesterday, so I haven't had time to adjust yet," he said.

"I suppose I'll just go back to being terrified of going outside again. Still, at least I don't need to worry about terrorism anymore, that's a big plus for me I can tell you. I've been really worried about it. A lot."

"I suppose it is worth the inconvenience to me just to know that all along the simple solution was 'Bogus'."

"Tell Kevin Rudd To Do The Job Australians Elected Him To Do": Greens Launch National TV Campaign

[Greens Media Release 9/8/09]

Prime Minister Rudd's CPRS bill "locks in failure" on the climate crisis by setting targets way too low and handing billions of dollars to polluters.

That is the key message of a national television advertising campaign launched by the Australian Greens today. The 30 second message from Greens Leader Bob Brown calls on Australians to visit the Greens MPs website (www.GreensMPs.org.au) and send a message to Prime Minister Rudd that they will not agree to lock in failure.

"Prime Minister Rudd wants you to believe that the only choice is between his bill and no bill at all. That's bunkum," Australian Greens Leader, Senator Bob Brown, says in the message.

"The Continue Polluting Regardless Scheme locks in failure on the climate crisis," Australian Greens Deputy Leader, Senator Christine Milne, said.

The Greens' move to oppose the CPRS if the Government refuses to toughen it is backed by 3 out of 4 Australian voters, according to a recent Galaxy poll.

"We have consistently offered to work with the Government to toughen up the bill by inserting credible emissions targets and making polluters pay. But Minister Wong and the Prime Minister have refused to budge from their inexcusably weak position," Senator Milne said.

"We are willing to give ground in negotiations, but we will not give the Earth.

"Mr Rudd's 'it's my CPRS or nothing' approach is a false choice.

"The real choice is whether we do what it takes to stop the climate crisis or whether we lock in failure by sandbagging the old polluting economy instead of driving a real transformation.

"The CPRS will lock in rising emissions until 2012. If we reject that and keep working, we can get truly effective action in place in the time before the CPRS would begin to do anything at all.

"Unless the Greens are there arguing the case for meaningful action, there is no chance this Government will deliver the kind of action we need to protect the climate."

The ad can be viewed at: www.youtube.com/AustralianGreens

But Curtis, How Do We Know Which Dinner Items Are GM Free?

Coles' "Feed your family for under $10' recipe cards

Closeups of small boats set to feature in the Narnia flick - Gold Coast Spit [9/8/09]

The World Transplant Games 2009 - Ultimately Life's the Winner
August 22-30, 2009 Gold Coast, Australia [Media Release]

In August over 2,000 people from 50 countries will travel to Australia's Gold Coast to compete in an event like
no other - the World Transplant Games.

The only qualifying rule for competing in the Games is the very thing which makes them so remarkable.
Every single athlete has received a life-saving organ transplant - heart, kidney, liver, pancreas, lungs, bone
marrow or a combination - and are back living a healthy life again. They compete for their country and to
honour their anonymous organ donor, their life saviour.

Set to be the biggest ever World Transplant Games, the Games are a festival celebrating renewed life through
organ donation and transplantation. They are held biennially across the world, making these the 17th Games
since its inception in 1978.

The CEO of Games host organisation, Chris Thomas, says Transplant Australia is thrilled that the Games are in
Australia's backyard and for the second time since 1997 in Sydney.

"The Games are the world's largest awareness event for organ and tissue donation and demonstrate worldwide
the 'living proof' that transplantation saves lives. There is no better place to celebrate this than on the
sands of Queensland's Gold Coast," said Mr Thomas.

"It is really inspiring to witness the humanity and emotion that spans many languages and cultures. The
Games capture the true meaning of courage in overcoming difficulties in life, and the gratitude of receiving
that ultimate gift, an organ or tissue transplant."

"It's something every person can nominate to do to make a difference in the world, and they can do it by
simply telling loved ones their wishes to donate."

The World Transplant Games provide a goal for transplant recipients, an encouragement to keep a healthy
lifestyle to increase their likelihood of a long and successful transplant. Doctors worldwide encourage
recipients to join the Games movement.

The World Transplant Games also aim to raise global awareness of the worldwide shortage of organs which
leave thousands of patients waiting and/or dying on waiting lists.

Expert's Visionary Solution To Fortitude Valley's Imaginary Toilet Crisis

"And don't throw the past away
You might need it some other rainy day
Dreams can come true again
When everything old is new again"

'Everything Old Is New Again', Peter Allen & Carole Bayer Sager [From the 'All That Jazz' soundtrack 1979]

Queensland's oldest public urinal, Russell Street, Toowoomba ... built in 1919

An expert from the Ponds Institute's Hatred of Stinky Old Heritage Unit says he has the solution to Fortitude Valley's imaginary toilet crisis.

Professor Slash, whose research into public conveniences is internationally renowned, says his vision incorporates looking back to the past.

"In the olden days the city's businessmen and politicians took a vastly different approach to public amenity," he said.

"Take Toowoomba as an example. The founding fathers took a sensible approach to matters of a urinary nature when they built their entertainment precinct on Russell Street all those years ago - by also building a urinal in the area. Sure, they didn't cater to ladies, but that was back in the olden days!"

But Professor Slash is often criticised by developers for what they call his "quaint, old, agrarian socialist" outlook.

Mr Shiny suit from the Ponds Institutes Tear 'Em Down and, construct many architectural monstrosities, Call it an entertainment precinct and blame the bogans when there's nowhere to take a leak, are no taxis to get them home or if they get hit by a car Unit says Professor Slash is "living in the past".

But Professor Slash remains undeterred in the pursuit of his vision.

"People often say to me, Professor Slash, Toowoomba is a beautiful place with all the lovely heritage buildings it's just a shame about the people. If only we could drop a neutron bomb and get rid of all the people it would be perfect," he said.

"It's part of our policy not to be taken seriously because our opposition, whoever they may be - in all their manifest forms, don't know how to handle humour, we're humorists, we're Laurel & Hardy, that's John & Yoko, we're willing to be the worlds clowns... The establishment irritates you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight because once they've got you violent they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is non-violence and humour."

John Lennon (1940 - 1980)

Thomas The Tank Engine Fined Again

Thomas The Tank Engine "Oh no, not again!"

"And I wish I, wish I knew the right words
To blow up the pokies and drag them away
'Cause they're taking the food off your table
So they can say that the trains run on time

Another man there was made the trains run on time."

'Blow Up The Pokies', The Whitlams [1999]

Thomas The Tank Engine has been fined yet again after being late an unacceptable number of times.

A Transfink spokesperson said this time Thomas The Tank Engine would be fined around $100,000.

As in May this year when Thomas The Tank Engine was fined $6.7 million for not running on shedule throughout 2007 and 2008, rail commuters were perplexed.

"Some say the fact Thomas The Tank Engine was only fined $100,000 this time means there is a glimmer of hope for us," they said in unison as they waited for the Bombay Express on the Roma Street platform.

"But we think it might be better for Transfink to focus on rebuilding the rail connection all the way to Southport, or perhaps consider free public transport, think of they money they'll save on wasteful initiatives such as the "YO!" Card and pointless reports on performance indicators."

Thomas The Tank Engine defended his punctuality and asked why it was that none of the reports on performance indicators outlined how many taxpayer dollars were spent on public awareness campaigns in the Limited News.

"I'm always on time when transporting people to and from corporate football games," he said.

"Who are these Transfink people anyway? I bet the Fat Controller has something to do with this."

"Learn Lessons From Estuary Report": Dam Opponents

'Save The Mary River' Media Release [7/8/09]

A recent report into the health of 18 estuaries from Miriam Vale to Rainbow Beach provides even more compelling evidence to scrap the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam in south-east Queensland.

The detailed study conducted by the Burnett Mary Regional Group in collaboration with the Qld EPA examined data collected over two years to come up with its report card . While some of the smaller creeks receive A ratings, the two largest rivers- the Burnett and the Mary, are rated as D- (extreme estuary health risk) and C+ (moderate estuary health risk) respectively.

Save the Mary River President Glenda Pickersgill said that comparing the Burnett and the Mary rivers provided a valuable insight into the highly likely impact of the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam.

"In the Burnett and its tributaries there are more than 30 dams and weirs, the most recent being the controversial Paradise Dam near Biggenden. This report cuts the speculation and allows us to see the end result of such impoundments on the estuary," she said.

"While the Traveston Environmental Impact Study claims that downstream impacts would be minimal, this report, by examining the track record for the heavily impounded Burnett, clearly finds otherwise."

"The cumulative effects of how we treat or overuse a river show up in its estuary and it's to be hoped the government will heed this warning," Ms Pickersgill said.

Chairman of the Greater Mary Association, Darryl Stewart said that one of the recommendations for ongoing management of the Mary estuary is to ensure it "has an adequate environmental flow allocation".

The Mary Basin Water Resource Plan that the Queensland Government rely so heavily on in their justification for the proposed dam does not consider environmental flow to the estuary. In fact if the dam does go ahead, based on the Government's own figures, flows to the estuary could stop for more than six months. And this would be operating in accordance with the Water Resource Plan. It is just totally irresponsible!".

"The Mary estuary should not be viewed in isolation, it's waters intermingle with and nourish the internationally recognised Ramsar wetlands, the Great Sandy Strait and the World Heritage listed marine environment of Fraser Island," he said.

There is a petition from dam opponents going to federal parliament calling for an independent assessment of the impacts of proposed Traveston Crossing Dam on the estuary.

"The government has a chance to learn from the Burnett. They've always been gung-ho in their assertion that a dam at Traveston Crossing would have minimal downstream impacts. Gathering this data from the Burnett should put an end to that," said Mr Stewart.

"The real question, though, is whether the Premier and her Sustainability Minister are listening".

www.savethemaryriver.com

The full estuary report can be found at: http://www.bmrg.org.au/information.php/2/106/350

The report describes other promising attributes from the future of the Mary estuary, the fact that its estuarine riparian zonw is largely intact and that a considerable proportion of the river's catchment is classified as "conservation and natural environments".

Hunky Dory

Latest blog post from James Howard Kunstler:

Australia's New National Anthem

the PM won't wear "silly" shirts
the dole queue is steady

you can't streak on our football fields
or die with dignity

it's only greenie activists
whose actions show they care

let chooks free range
or wraps are strange
the camels should beware

another flag has disappeared
with Sam the koala bear

Bloomberg Tests Free-Transit Waters

Email from 'Free Public Transit' [5/8/09]:

EKKA Treats Make You Fat (If You Eat Too Many):

Shock New Findings

Laughing Clowns ... gobsmacked at shock new findings about EKKA treats

Shock new findings that EKKA treats make you fat (if you eat too many) have prompted a mass outbreak of yawning throughout the state.

According to weight loss guru, expert fear mongerer and all round goody goody anal retentive Mr P. Artie-Poopah, who made the utterly astonishing revelations in his new book 'Are You Really Gonna Eat That Dagwood Dog Before We Go On The Zipper, Perhaps We'd Better Go On The Ferris Wheel First?', EKKA treats are not as healthy as Queenslanders might think.

In fact Mr P. Artie-Poopah is so worried about a boombah epidemic following this year's EKKA, he has suggested visitors pack a portable treadmill so they can burn off the kilojoules everytime they eat a dagwood dog, strawberry sundae or fairy floss.

"Alternatively they could have a diet coke - everybody knows that cancels out the kilojoules in a high fat treat," he said.

Mr P. Artie-Poopah suggests packing a portable treadmill for your day at the EKKA

Mr P. Artie-Poopah said that as well as being alert and alarmed by the previously unknown amounts of fat, sugar and salt content of EKKA treats, Queenslanders also ought to be aware of the many other dangers lurking at the show, but at the same time they should enjoy themselves.

"We've already seen the stories about dangerous toys in showbags and I expect that in the next day or two, we'll see a story or two about how expensive it is to spend a day at the EKKA, while radio announcers will carry on about the EKKA flu," he said.

The Age Of Stupid

The 'Age of Stupid' is the new movie from Director Franny Armstrong ('McLibel') and producer John Battsek ('One Day In September'). Pete Postlethwaite stars as a man living alone in the devastated future world of 2055, looking at old footage from 2008 and asking: why didn't we stop climate change when we had the chance? It was released in UK cinemas on 20 March 2009, and will be followed by other countries.

Check details for Australian screenings here:

http://www.ageofstupid.net/screenings/country/australia

The Broadbeach carousel will soon be thrilling kids big and small again after Council resolved to undertake major maintenance work.

Divisional Councillor Eddy Sarroff said after it ceased operation last year, consideration had been given to the carousel’s future.

“Feedback from Broadbeach families has been overwhelmingly in favour of retaining the carousel,” said Cr Sarroff.

“Residents have been telling me that the carousel offers great family fun for locals and visitors and many retailers are also in favour.

“The maintenance is expected to cost $180,000, which will come from divisional funds.

“In terms of who will operate the carousel, we will consider inviting expressions of interest – but have not ruled out any option, including the possibility of a not-for-profit community group or charity.”...

At least someone finally put their thinking cap on:

And as for this:

While we applaud the introduction of recycled sewage for non-drinking purposes (toilet flushing, garden watering and irrigation, filling ornamental ponds, car washing, fire fighting, construction and building purposes, dust suppression, irrigation of food crops and external household cleaning), we hope this isn't the beginning of a set of incremental steps Council and the State Government are taking to sneakily work up to tipping shit water in our drinking supply.

Attention Gold Coast Lord Mayor

The block of land on the corner of High and Nerang Southport Road, Southport currently being used as a carpark

According to the local Murdoch press [4/8/09] a contract for the property on the corner of High Street and Nerang-Southport Road was signed last Thursday.

When we took the above photo last Saturday there wasn't an "under contract" sticker on the sign.

Lord Mayor. You are in a position right now to provide free parking around Southport. Take the meters away and while you're at it, put on some more bus services and get the cars off the road.

Keith Olbermann to Expose Congressional Opponents of Universal Health Care

From 'Michael Moore' [3/8/09]

One To Watch

Heard Brad Pedersen being interviewed by Trevor Jackson on the ABC's Coast FM yesterday [3/8/09] afternoon.

He is President of 'Democracy Watch', a non-profit, non-partisan organisation pushing for electoral reform in Australia:

http://www.democracywatch.com.au/

They will shortly start up a new site specifically targetted at our good friend Mr Murdoch.

See! It can be done, and despite what everyone says - we are not alone.

Fare Free New Zealand!

http://farfrenze.blogspot.com/

Everyday Miracles

From Maggie Hamilton's 'A Soft Place To Land: Life-changing moments of wisdom and grace':

Why Does Gold Coast City Council Need To Buy This "Prime Commercial Real Estate" for a Car Park?

The block of land on the corner of High and Nerang Southport Road, Southport currently being used as a carpark

Council investigates buying Southport car park (GCCC Media Release Monday, 27 July 2009):

Empty parking spaces one block from the "important" site, Garden Street, Southport

The whole "Hospital Parking Costs Outrage Fury" line has been running hard in 'The Sun'. As usual with anything touted loudly by the Murdoch rags, the question is: "Why?" After all, there is plenty of parking around the area. The 'problem' of costs to hospital visitors is supposedly going to be fixed with permits, anyway. Since the commercial property market is grinding to a halt and credit has vanished, what was threatening to happen to the carpark site that needs action so urgently? Most importantly: "Who are the ratepayers buying this from, why and at what price?"

Lucky there is no systemic corruption at any level of Queensland government and nothing whatsoever shady about the healthy closeness of business interests and elected officials. Lucky indeed!

Roxby Countdown: Greens Encourage Community Submissions

Greens Media Release [1/8/09]

Greens Senator Scott Ludlam says concerned Australians should act quickly to make a submission to the Federal and SA Governments opposing the Roxby Downs Uranium Mine expansion, before it's too late.

The deadline for submissions to the mine's Environmental Impact Statement is Friday the 7th of August.

"Given its enormous environmental impact, this project will be of concern - not just to South Australians, but to all Australians. Sending submissions to the Federal and SA Governments is the best opportunity we have to convince them to put the brakes on this dangerous expansion plan," said the Greens Nuclear Spokesperson, Senator Ludlam.

Some of the impacts of the expansion include:

- Increasing uranium exports from 4,000 tonnes per year, to 19,000 tonnes (enough plutonium to build 2,850 nuclear weapons)

- Selling of uranium to China (despite its appalling human rights record)

- Allowing BHP to control consultation with Aboriginal people at Roxby

- Increasing the production of radioactive tailings waste to 68 million tonnes annually to cover an area of up to 44 sq kms to a height of up to 65 metres- Leaking an average of 3 million litres of radioactive waste a day

- Increasing the use of diesel at the Olympic Dam mine from 25 million litres annually to over 375 million litres annually

- Increasing greenhouse gas emissions from 1.2 million tonnes annually to up to 5.9 million tonnes Senator Ludlam said submission could be made online or via post.

To make a submission email: OlympicDamEIS@state.sa.gov.au or post: Assessment Branch, Dept. of Planning and Local Government, RE: Proposed Olympic Dam Expansion, GPO Box 1815, Adelaide SA 5001. For more information see: http://www.foe.org.au/anti-nuclear/issues/take-action/odmeis

Shadowy Minister For MoGODon Calls For Nationalisation Of Australia's Churches

Abbott And Costello ... Didn't Australians tell these jokers to rack off?

A coalition government would nationalise Australia's churches according to the shadow Minister for MoGODon who still thinks Australians want to hear what he has to say.

"We need to amalgamate all the churches - plus we could get some public servants to run them," he said, speaking on the Issy Asper Neocon Talking Points Show and not Inside Out Neocon Talking Points With Barrie And Rupert's Friends.

When pressed whether he should be at church on a Sunday morning rather than boring Australians witless on national television, the shadow Minister for MoGODon said Australians wanted their churches back in public hands.

"I am a mouthpiece for the powerful private health indus ... I mean ... Australians want a streamlined church system they can trust," he said.

"They're sick of this privatised model with its impenetrable hierarchy which clearly doesn't work. I mean it's just not accountable to anybody."

The shadow Minister for MoGODon's vision includes establishing the Department of God, and doing away with what he says is a "dog's breakfast" of waste and duplication between all the various sects, happy clappy fundies and mainstream churches.

"Let's not muck about here, it's all the same mumbo jumbo, and besides my God is the one true God," he said.

"Look. There are some things that the private sector can't do. What with all the wars, famine, suffering and poverty going on. The problem is that the free market just doesn't work. All these different churches viciously competing, driving up the cost of religion, while slashing services to the worshipping public. Closing down branches - all in the name of rationalisation - it's just not good enough. Blind Freddy can see that these religions need to be reformed from top to the bottom, and nothing short of a complete takeover will do. These churches have proven how totally inept they are and it's time the government stepped in."

"There are two industries in the world. One is the war industry and the other is the peace industry. And the people in the war industry - it's just gung ho to make money and to control the world - and that's what they're doing. And the other is the peace industry. And the people in the peace industry are so opinionated - each one of us, and we don't forgive each other - we criticise each other so strongly that we can't get together. Whereas in the war industry they are so together they don't even have to talk - they say 'let's go!'"

Yoko Ono

Latest Narnia Pics From The Gold Coast Spit

The castle begins to take shape against a sunny winter sky and a crystal clear sea [1/8/09]. More trees were planted on The Spit last weekend. Spot the curlews skulking amid the greenery:

Real Green Jobs: Time To Get Serious

"It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise"

'No Surprise', Daughtry [2009]

The video for 'No Surprise' screened on 'Eclipse Music TV' today [1/8/09]. It depicts a young, American couple who lose their job job jobs, then subsequently lose each other. It was kind of interesting, but pales in comparison to the fiery Pat Benatar classic 'Love Is A Battlefield' which was also screened during today's program.

'Love Is A Battlefield' written by Holly Knight and Mike Chapman [1983] ... an amazing video featuring a powerful sisterhood dance off that decimates an evil patriarchal overlord. Seeing it in 2009 brings home how women's rights have regressed in the last couple of decades.

Sister, will we ever see anything so energetic and hopeful in a music video again?

Seems like only artists such as American Idol winners are allowed to even vaguely allude to unsexy and/or problematic topics (such as the detrimental effect unemployment has on relationships - particularly for young people) in a music video. It's rare to stumble upon any other examples of creative subversion on Australian television in this day and age.

Mr Rudd and Ms Bligh, you talk about green jobs and you release climate change management plans, but they don't mean a pinch of shit when we read stories like this:

According to Ben McNeil in his latest book 'The Clean Industrial Revolution: Growing Australian Prosperity In A Greenhouse Age', Australia has a carbon obesity epidemic and as well as getting left behind, we are in a perilous situation.

No more weasel words. It's time for change: