Against his better judgment, country and western performer Kee Learn-again has spoken out at the Music Muster this weekend.

Although he is the hero of the year, Learn-Again has mentioned climate change, drought and that the government isn't really doing anything much to alleviate the suffering of Australian farmers.

Various lobby groups and ministerial spokespersons have clarified that protests by musicians and artists such as those made by Mr Learn-again, are frowned upon in in this day and age.

"Only sanctioned criticism is permissable in this country," said one.

Spin doctor in charge of the Music Muster yesterday confirmed that artists should respect event sponsors by ignoring what is going on in their immediate environment.

A sponsor spokesperson agreed.

"Sponsors don't sponsor events to promote dams," he said.

"What a ridiculous notion."

YAY!

Deal has been doneEverybodyknowsSave the mary riverA bunch of one nation votersLanyard wearers sayInfiltratedNormAlfordTugun is an environmental catastropheOr didn't you know?Not a dam but a nuclear power plant

Brisbane's Vibrant Bar Culture Best In Suburbs

The Australian Hotels Association have announced the winners of the 2008 AHA National Awards for Excellence. These were published in an advertising liftout in 'The Australian Financial Review' (29-31/8/08).

The Normanby wasn't mentioned, but Queensland Finalists include: The Lonestar Tavern (Best Restaurant - General Division), The Lab Bar & Restaurant - Conrad Treasury (Best Restaurant - Accommodation Division), Brackenridge Tavern and Prince Alfred Hotel (Best Retail Outlet), Gilhooley's Strathpine (Best Bar Presentation & Service), Alexandra Hills Hotel (Best Entertainment Venue), Brackenridge Tavern (Best Gaming Venue), Paddington Tavern (Best Redeveloped Licensed Premise - General Division)

Winners include:

The Full Moon Hotel (Best Casual/Family Dining)

Judges Comments: The Full Moon Hotel is an excellent example of casual family dining in a superb setting overlooking the bay; offering an interesting menu, serving excellent food and beverages by friendly, well-groomed staff.

Sofitel Gold Coast (Best Redeveloped Accommodation Hotel)

Judges Comments: Sofitel Gold Coast's multi-million dollar renovation has proven to be an unqualified success. The superior standard of fit-out has created a truly exceptional, uplifting ambience. Room 81 Restaurant is making a superb impression on the Gold Coast restaurant scene. Every facet of this property has been converted to the highest possible standards.

Story Bridge Hotel (Best Hotel or Pub Operation)

Judges Comments: The iconic Story Bridge Hotel is well promoted, well maintained and it continues to be an industry focal point in Brsbane. The hotel boasts excellent cuisine, with its well-aged steaks particularly impressive. A worthy winner of this award.

The Full Moon Hotel (Overall General Hotel of the Year)

Judges Comments: The Full Moon Hotel has been rewarded for its overall presentation in a superb location overlooking the stunning Bramble Bay. It is a landmark destination for good food and entertainment, in a superb indoor and outdoor setting. The design is contemporary and creates a comfortable ambience. The marketing is consistent and well targeted. The hotel boasts excellent, reasonably priced food and beverages, while another asset is its courteous and professional service.

The Full Moon Tavern is a worthy winner of this prestigious award.

http://www.aha.org.au/home.html

"Canapegate" Rocks River City

The State We're In, with Percy Personable, the People's Scribe

As Brisbane gears up for the River Festival's night of nights and the world famous crash and burn, a scandal has rocked the city to its very foundations.

I can reveal that some government folks were going to indulge in an outrageous orgy of excess at the people's expense. Because I got down and dirty on your behalf dear citizens of Brisbane, this utterly shocking waste of taxpayers money has been cancelled, and will henceforth be known as "Canapegate".

Now smoky aubergine relish isn't my kind of thing and fois gras crumble with mango is just too fussy for my taste, but I'm rather partial to a degustation menu, washed down with a glass of Krug with the Queen Mother every now and then.

So the question remains. Will "Canapegate" bring down the good ship Bligh? "Please explain" you say. It's quite obvious that there's something not quite right in various government departments, but it's not for me to say exactly what the real problems are. But never fear, I will be the first to let you know if the current government is on the way out. We all know that Springboard and Co., are waiting in the wings - but it's not the voters they need to impress - is it?

Never fear, I'll do my darendest for democracy to keep you, my dear readers informed.

Australians Call For An Open, Fair And Public Consultation On The Legal Protection And Recognition Of Our Human Rights:

(Australian Human Rights Group Press Release – 28/8/08)

More than 50 organisations from across the country and different sectors have called for the Federal Government to engage the country in a public consultation on human rights protection.

The Australian Human Rights Group has sent an open letter to the Prime Minister and the Attorney General calling for open, fair and public consultation on the protection of human rights.

The letter was endorsed by more than 50 organisations and a number of prominent Australians.

“Many countries with a shared history and similar values to Australia, including the United Kingdom and New Zealand, have improved their legislative human rights protection in a way that has enhanced basic democratic values, improved public policy and services and maintained Parliament’s sovereignty,” AHRG chair Susan Ryan AO said.

Australia is the only democratic country in the world devoid of a national human rights law.

“We welcome the Government’s commitment to consultation on the recognition and protection of rights in Australia, especially as the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is approaching on December 10, but want to ensure the process is democratic and inclusive of marginalised and disadvantaged Australians,” she said.

Ms Ryan said the consultative process should be inherently democratic and enable Australians to decide how best their rights should be protected.

“The consultation should be an opportunity for us all to articulate our beliefs and values, to consider who we are as a nation and what we aspire to be. It would be a chance to bring our rights home,” campaign director Phoebe Knowles said.

AHRG is a non-political network of individuals and organisations committed to enhancing legal protection of human rights in Australia by encouraging community consultation and the drafting of a human rights law.

The Australian Building And Construction Commission:

An Appropriate Use Of Public Power?

An excerpt from Professor George Williams' presentation to the National Press Club (25/8/08):

LIKE POWERS ELSEWHERE?

It has been said that the ABCC law copies powers found elsewhere. Indeed, there are similarities to the powers given to bodies like the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission and Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).

However, the context is of vital importance. A power appropriately given to ASIC to catch corporate criminals may be inappropriate when given to a body dealing with industrial disputes.

In any event, the ABCC regime is different, and more problematic, because:

· Other regimes do not operate in such a discriminatory manner (for example, a body like ASIC is not given coercive powers for, say, just the automotive industry).

· Other regimes do not suffer from the same problems of over-wide definitions and low thresholds for the use of power, let alone such an absence of safeguards and oversight.

· The ABCC law applies a criminal investigatory model to a non-criminal, industrial context (indeed the only imprisonment under the Act is for not complying with the ABCC's powers). The closest Australia has come to this in an industrial context is a First World War law. The Unlawful Associations Act 1916 was directed at the radical labour organisation, the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW). In its first months, 103 members of the IWW were imprisoned, usually for six months with hard labour, and many others were sacked.

· The ABCC law normalises extraordinary powers that should not have been taken out of their criminal context. This creates a precedent that may make common place what should be limited and exceptional. The model could be extended to other industries and out of the industrial context to other fields.

These powers should have no place in a body directed at preventing unlawful industrial action whose remit includes minor award breaches. These powers could not be justified when policing breaches of the criminal law, let alone industrial disputes.

WHAT RESPONSE?

I went back to the parliamentary debates that led to the Building and Construction Industry Improvement Act 2005 to see what ALP members then had to say. They got it right by opposing the law. Indeed, they raised many of the same concerns, even taking them further, such as in the speech of Dr Craig Emerson in the House on 11 August 2005

[A]n investigator can go up to a building industry worker and ask such questions as: 'Are you or have you ever been a member of a trade union? Are you or have you ever been a member of the Australian Labor Party?' That person may have done nothing wrong and there may be no suspicion of that person having done anything wrong, but if that person does not answer that question then this legislation can send that person to jail for not answering a McCarthyist question.

Other speeches are similar vein, such as that of Stephen Smith who argued against the law because 'The ABCC will have much stronger powers than any police force in the country.'

Even people like Bob Katter said:

all of us should hold some grave apprehensions with respect to the Building and Construction Industry Improvement Bill.

Nothing has altered the correctness of these assessments.

Could the law be fixed by greater oversight? I believe not as we are dealing with a law that should not, in this form, be on the books at all. It has no place in a modern, fair system of industrial relations, let alone one of a nation that prides itself on its political and industrial freedoms.

Given this, I believe that the minister should immediately act as an interim measure under s 11 of the Act to, as far as is possible, prevent the worst possible future uses of the ABCC's powers. That provision reads:

11 Minister's directions to ABC Commissioner
(1) The Minister may give written directions to the ABC Commissioner specifying the manner in which the ABC Commissioner must exercise or perform the powers or functions of the ABC Commissioner under this Act.
(2) The Minister must not give a direction under subsection (1) about a particular case.
(3) The ABC Commissioner must comply with a direction under subsection (1).

This should be followed by the repeal of the powers of the ABCC. Even if the body is retained until 2010, it should not hold its current powers.

After 2010, whatever the new specialist division within the inspectorate of Fair Work Australia is based on, it should not be the Building and Construction Industry Improvement Act.

Spring Hill Voice Strike Shock!

Striking Journalists Point at Strike-Breaking Police

Spring Hill Voice has been rocked by news that Fairfax has sacked Mike Carlton for refusing to write his Saturday column because of the mini strike. We are currently trying to open negotiations with Carlton so that we can bring his readers a weekly opinionated column right here. An unnamed source close to the Spring Hill Voice says that he will be offered at least double the remuneration of the highest paid writer at Spring Hill Voice, in fact the source confirms that the multiple could even be in the thousands or millions without affecting the bottom line. Thanks source.

A shocked Mr Carlton is believed to have said, off the record:

"They can't do that to me! Don't they know who I am? I'm a highly sought after and loved and respected opinionist. My writing is worth a fortune, why I could walk straight in to any top level paper in this country and demand any salary and I would get a job straight away."

When asked whether that was what he was planning to do, Mr Carlton is thought to have replied:

"Well, no, not right now. I mean I've got a radio job with Fairfax and that keeps me fairly busy...and, anyway, I might just withhold my services from the Australian print media until they have a good hard look at themselves. Yes, that's it! I'm on strike until they ask me to go back to my usual column at Fairfax. The outrage of the public will bring management to its knees and they will capitulate, just you wait and see."

We will wait and see. Fairfax management were contacted for their response to the alleged allegations but something was wrong with their telephones. All we could hear was a strange sound like hilarious laughter, knee slapping and strange sort of choking noises. The only words we could make out in their response was a strangled "sorry...sorry, hmmpphh aghh ha harrr....what did he say again? Hmmmmmpppphhhgraaaarrrrr...arrrrr...arrrrghhphmph."

BCC Community Planning Team...Short On Community

by Darren Godwell, President, West End Community Association (29/8/08 )

Sadly, Council's new, select process of consulting for the mooted "South Brisbane Riverside Neighbourhood Plan" has got off to a shaky start.

As of writing, Council has yet to inform all residents, business owners, schools and parents, community organisations, social services and property owners of this significant, new planning process.

Lord Mayor Newman and Cr Amanda Cooper, Chair Urban Planning and the Council's office of Urban Renewal Brisbane (URB) have a different definition of what constitutes community. Theirs is a deliberately hand-picked group predominantly of developers & select property owners.

WECA made direct representations to Cr Cooper and Urban Renewal Brisbane (Monday 11 August) asking that Council take responsibility for informing the broader community and neighbourhood interests. The former Kurilpa Structure Plan exercise is dead and now a totally new, full scale planning exercise is about to roll-out.

I'm afraid that unless the broader community of South Brisbane, West End, Hill End and Highgate Hill are truly engaged then the draft planning scheme will be of a poorer quality. Leaving most the active community interests and residents in the dark is not a good start.

ARE THERE TWO SETS OF RULES?

Mayor Campbell Newman recently had this to say about Hamilton & the State government planning exercise over there:

"They don't consult, they don't listen, they just do these things and expect others to pick up the pieces," he said. The use of that power is starting to concern me greatly. It's all over the shop."

It would be worrying if this exercise was more about politics than planning.

I, like Campbell Newman, will say that the use of power [by BCC] is starting to concern me greatly. Council's community planning is all over the shop.

WECA is asking Cr Cooper to:

a. write to all the residents and community interest groups of the Kurilpa Peninsula to inform them of this planning exercise, its scope, time frame and proposed boundaries, and

b. make public the current membership of the current Community Planning Team assembled by Council so that people can contact them, and

c. to afford the broader community interests the same level of access as has been enjoyed by select property owners and developers to URB and herself as Chair of the Urban Planning Committee.

COMMUNITY BRIEFING

WECA is planning on conducting a open community briefing to share what information we've collected to date and to hear your views.

We'll have a week night session and a repeat on the weekend to give more people an option to attend in the week beginning 8 September. It will be a short format of about 30 minutes of facts with copies of key documents available and some time to field questions/views.

In the meantime, I'd welcome any feedback you may offer,

Darren Godwell

President, West End Community Association

Brisbane Fences Spark International Trend

"I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon 'till I lose my senses
And I can't look at hovels and I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in, no
Pop, oh don't you fence me in"

'Don't Fence Me In', Cole Porter and Robert Fletcher (1942)

Your Built Environment with Con Creet

Rampant fence erection is the way of the future according to inner-city architect Mr Bill Ding.

"Fences are going up everywhere, around trees, fountains, heritage buildings awaiting demolition, public walkways, construction zones and now pagodas in Chinatown," said Mr Ding.

"They are stunning - truly beautiful statements which symbolise what Brisbane's all about - in fact I see this trend catching on all around the world."

The City Hall leader agreed, and went even further by suggesting that fences are the way of the future - especially when associated with redeveloping areas for large amounts of money.

"As well as being there to protect you from yourself, fences create a pleasant and welcoming environment for tourists and Brisbane's citizens," he said.

Your Dreamworld Is Just About To End

"If that's what is happening, whatever the cause, the 'big picture' will once again come into focus and we will be prepared to listen more attentively to the voices of activists, artists, provocateurs, commentators and politicians (to say nothing of charities) whose messages, these past seven or eight years, have been only faintly heard. We might also find that home renovations have not, in the end, satisfied our quest for the meaning of life."

Hugh Mackay 'Advance Australia...Where?'

Mr Peter Garrett MP
Minister for the Environment, Heritage and the Arts
Parliament House
PO BOX 6022
CANBERRA ACT 2600

He won't care, but you'll feel better!

Alternatively, take them back to where you purchased them from. According to the Office of Fair Trading, you are legally entitled to a refund from the place of purchase if goods:

. Have a fault you did not know about at the time of purchase

. Do not do the job you were led to believe

. Do not last a reasonable time depending on the price paid and type of product

. Are not as described by a seller or ad/promotion

Australian Health System Scales New Heights

Universal health care is a privilege not a right...why not consider auditioning for a television show?

The Government and public health officials have announced a new initiative, "Your Health - Your Fault - Your Problem", which is hoped will solve Australia's current health crisis.

As certain state governments explore the cancellation of elective surgery in public hospitals, the onus will be on patients to seek out less conventional ways of obtaining health care.

The Minister for Health Sue Pharma-tickle said if Australians used a little bit of lateral thinking, decent health care would not be beyond their reach.

"For instance, if you have a medical emergency, or are about to give birth, buy a plane ticket for a flight that takes a few hours - like to India," she said.

"There is likely to be one or more Doctors on board so you will be in good hands. If possible buy a seat in business class - that's where there will probably be specialists."

Other suggestions which have been put forward include auditioning for one of the large number of television medical dramas.

Show Us Your Crack: River Festival Fireworks Fears

Brisbane Festivals...infinite in number and a one man show!

"Streets of Your Town" with Alfie Whatsitallabout

Cracks on Brisbane's riverside boardwalk have cast nasturtiums upon whether people from the suburbs should be allowed to travel into town and set themselves up outside the apartment buildings of rich people to watch the River Festival fireworks and the famous crash and burn.

"You can't just come into town from the suburbs and expect to watch the fireworks with your squeakers for free," said various elitist knobs in government and business.

"These seats are A List seats, and we don't want people coming in and treating this like it's some kind of inclusive and publicly funded event. It's just not the done thing in Brisbane anymore."

After yawning loudly and asking whether the Port of Brisbane Authority was a River Festival sponsor, Brisbane's citizens agreed that closing off the boardwalk was a bit of a coincidence, given that the fireworks are on this weekend. Many inner city residents say that cracks first appeared on the boardwalk when it was opened many years ago - but that goes without saying.

When The Going Gets Tough: Pick On The Unions And Caring Professions

"You say you got a real solution
Well you know
we'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well you know
We're all doing what we can
If you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright Alright"

'Revolution', The Beatles (1968)

A time of global economic uncertainty, going forward and in terms of productivity, the government has a framework for the outcomes for the economy and benchmarks.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, a committee or interim draft report or inquiry is innovative, but we're going to prosecute a hardline debate of our reform agenda.

Now there will be people who might not like it, but we are not going to take a backward step and this country needs to urgently quantify educational outcomes. National partnership payments, upping quantitative investment and funding arrangements for disadvantaged schools doesn't mean anything at all. Aren't I clever?

Significant complex negotiations and argy bargy will create pathways to the future, but Julia's work on this has been intense and the principles are robust and strong. We will outline the criteria, and parents will see - through the transparency measures.

At the end of the day, we don't actually care about reform or quality education for Australians. What this is all about is closing down state schools, and persecuting and reducing the number of teachers. Do you really think elite private schools are going to be cool with government officials sniffing around their hallowed halls?

*UPDATE* In case you didn't realise it yet, Australia is being neo-conned. Read Naomi Klein's 'The Shock Doctrine'. Particularly the chapter on New Orleans and the voucher system.

Buy My Book You Ugly B*tches

A man

Books with Penny Promotit

A demographer has released a book which explains why the corporate media has been running stories about ugly women in regional towns for the past couple of weeks.

The book, 'Why Men Are So F*cking Awesome: And Women Should Be Grateful', reveals that a lot of women walk around all day with no idea they have faces like bashed crabs.

It includes an index where you can calculate the likelihood you will find a mate - the D.P.I. (Dropped Pie Index).

It also advocates stalking single men on trains - which shouldn't be too hard becuase they are so f*cking crowded. So go out and buy it - you know you want to. The book is published by Amazing Coincidence Press and was released today.

Send 'Em Down The Mines: Mean Politicians Out-B*stard Each Other

"The civility which money will purchase, is rarely extended to those who have none." Charles Dickens

The Government has today announced that all children not in private schools will be sent down the mines.

"We've had to take this hardline approach because we need to start the week with a bogus and inflammatory talking point which distracts Australians from the real issues," said the PM.

Nobody asked him how he planned to enforce this new initiative, because everyone knows what happens if you ask an unscripted question.

The Opposition Minister for Something or Other said the PM didn't go far enough.

"Anyone who isn't contributing to the economy should be stripped of all their rights," he said.

Where's The Fire?

Wave Break Island and the Broadwater from Biggera Waters, around three o'clock this afternoon [24/8/08]

"Smoke on the water
Fire in the sky"

'Smoke On The Water', Deep Purple (1972)

A huge fire has been raging all weekend on Wave Break Island in the broadwater, covering the northern end of the Gold Coast in smoke.

What does it take to get any news coverage of things like this?

A death? A wealthy person's boat being destroyed? Pamela Anderson?

YUNGABA: "Place Of Sunshine" For Rich C*nts

she's a Brisbane beauty
a rambling place upon the river
on Main Street Kangaroo Point
where history still shivers

built in 1885
to welcome people from abroad
a hospital in WWI
but history's been ignored

south sea islanders
rounded up for deportation
under the white Australia policy
after their exploitation

for Australand is going to build
apartment luxury
so forget about a visit
to this gated community

there won't be a museum
though BEMAC was a tenant
no more history and music
in the Brisbane of the present

Geoffrey Rush can't save our heritage
nor will Rupert McCall
Brett DeBritz or B.R.I.S.S.I.
when Lucas has the call

so why not face it folks
Brisbane's f*cked up beyond repair
diabolical that "they shut it down"
but be honest, you don't care

Pacific Island Governments Introduce 754 Visa

In response to controversy over Australia's "457" visas, which draw Pacific Island workers into Australia's unsustainable fruit and vegetable industries as cheap labour for a few months during certain parts of their annual cycle, the Rudd Government have announced that they will issue reciprocal special "754" visas to Australians who are having trouble finding useful employment.

The Minister For Useless Welfare-Consuming Australians, Mr Fickshinnal, announced the initiative at the Israeli-Neo-Con-Australia-Alliance-Weasel-Word Conference for business welfare this week at Sydney's Hilton Hotel. The Prime Minister announced that this innovative initiative had miraculously already been simultaneously adopted by Pacific Nations. Uncanny.

All Pacific Nations have agreed, unilaterally, the Minister explained.

"The way the 754 visas work is quite simple" he said.

"We're paying for all these island types to come over here and work for sub-standard wages on 457 visas, crikey, we're paying for their flights and accommodation. So, rather than send back those planes empty and miss an opportunity, we decided that certain dole recipients will be ordered to fly back on every flight (on 754 visas) and they can live with the families of the 457-ers over there! Brilliant isn't it? I mean, their dole would go heaps further in those places. And as an extra bonus, they might end up liking the 457 fella's family and the 457 fella might prefer to stay here working for stuff all."

Then he did a funny jig with a silly, half drunk, nod and a wink and nudged this reporter painfully. Weird.

Ziggy Comes To Queensland And Doesn't Play Guitar

"We've got five years, stuck on my eyes
Five years, what surprise
We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot
Five years, that's all we've got"

'Five Years', David Bowie (1972)

Only Paper In Town Leaps On Opportunity To Attack Progressive Church

Religion and Human Rights with Ima Token-Lefty

The only paper in town can reveal that a progressive church in West End has been threatened with closure because it is inclusive, advocates human rights, peace, sexual equality and an interfaith dialogue.

"A complete fascist from the inner-Brisbane Catholic mafia snooped around the church and chanced upon a sculpture of which they sent a photo to Rome," said a "parishioner", who I won't identify and with whom I was having a quiet one at the Jube.

Relying on dobbers and sending spies to check out places and events for opportunites to vilify anything vaguely lefty is the only way to run a propaganda sheet. How else are you supposed to get photographs of convicted pedophiles singing in choirs?

In any case, we should get rid of these losers in this parish. Only conservative and obedient little small minded religious bigots are allowed in this town - and geez that's a choice block on the corner of Peel and Merivale Street!

Aussie Burger Awareness

Spring Hill Voice does not advocate eating at multinational fast-food outlets, but we couldn't help notice an advertisement for McDonalds' "McAustralia" burger on telly. But said burger does not contain a slice of beetroot - what we think is the most important ingredient in a genuine Australian hamburger. The "McAustralia's" "aussieness" supposedly derives from the slice of private equity pineapple, Philip Morris cheese, a damper bun and no pickles. Concerns about ketchup aside, even Hungry Jacks includes a slice of beetroot on their "Aussie Burger".

If you want a real Aussie hamburger, go to your local family owned takeaway. Alternatively, if you absolutely have to go to a chain, you could go to your local Big Chief - they'll happily put beetroot on your burger!

Taxpayer Outrage At Outrageous Allowances

Jail is expensive in Queensland

Queensland taxpayers are outraged that Dr Patel isn't living in a tent, or wandering the streets homeless as he awaits his trial.

"It's an outrage which outrages me," said one.

"Why can't we put him to work? I guess making him earn his keep at a hospital is out of the question, but he could sell the 'Big Issue' or something like that."

Many accommodation and allowance alternatives were explored by police and politicians, but when you have ripper lawyers you can get a good deal.

"That's so unfair," said the outraged taxpayer.

"Why can't we put him in display home? There are plenty of those lying around."

Minister For Plastic Bags, Tokenism And Whales Confirms Peace Satellite Plans

The Minister...gives the nod

The Minister for Plastic Bags, Tokenism and Whales has confirmed the US will be establishing a Peace Satellite in Western Australia.

Nobody was supposed to find out about the Peace Satellite, but those pesky folks at 'The Canberra Times' somehow stumbled upon a document which states negotiations are well underway.

It is not known whether the Minister has changed his mind about US Peace Facilities in his quest for power, or he actually never opposed them at all.

"Will you know it, when you see it?" he said.

"High risk children dogs of war."

The Peace Satellite will play an important part in peacifying the planet.

"Business deals in parking lots. Waiting for the meat of tomorrow," said the Minister.

Amnesty International Australia Take A Look Inside Christmas Island

"Once on the island you are struck by not only the remoteness of the new centre to anything else on the island but also the high level of security surrounding the centre. (Where would anyone escape to?) Two high fences, the second one an electric fence, circle the perimeter. Despite landscaping in the "green heart" of the centre there is an all pervasive feeling of concrete and steel, particularly in the accommodation compounds."

http://action.amnesty.org.au/refugees/comments/16449/

CBD Saucy Shop Window Lingerie Shock

Playing up to the crowd...so seductive

Down And Dirty with Carny Righteous.

Shoppers in Brisbane's CBD will be treated to a saucy shop window lingerie show this week.

"It'll be just like going to a peep show in the Valley," said shop owner Dolores Inmyeyes.

"But definitely a lot classier - think Botanic Gardens meets Westfield."

Although we haven't contacted any family groups to ask them what they think, they are sure to be rankled.

We won't ask any female politicians what they think either - even though a couple of them criticised the shop's billboard in West End recently. We all know that for them to say anything vaguely feminist is wrong.

CBD titty bar proprietor Mr Wayne Kerr said he was concerned about the impact upon his business.

"This current window undressing trend is a worry. Honestly, I don't know why I bother given that the objectification and commodification of women's bodies is now so mainstream these days."

No women's advocacy groups were contacted for their point of view, because they are all hairy armpitted whingers.

In related news, have you been passed over for a job because you are a mother? Well perhaps you should be more assertive in the workplace, you stupid woman.

WECA President Responds To Lord Mayor:

WECA Media Release [19/8/08]

WECA President Darren Godwell has called on the Lord Mayor to "stick to the facts".

"WECA will not apologise for representing the interests of our members nor advocating for commuter solutions for Brisbane's residents."

The Lord Mayor's latest statement merely draw people's attention back to Council's original Impact Assessment Study that clearly identified that many of the roads studied became worse with the tollway.

"WECA went in with an open-mind, you can imagine our surprise when we read Council's own report saying that the toll-bridge would make traffic congestion worse. But the greater surprise would be to hear the Lord Mayor blatantly misrepresenting the facts."

For the record:

1. Cr Graham Quirk confirmed that this toll-bridge does not reduce traffic congestion (612ABC radio 13 October, 2007) and the Mayor has never refuted the data in the Council's Impact Assessment Study.

2. WECA welcomes all commuter solutions for Brisbane.

3. WECA calls on the Lord Mayor to release the revised business case for this project with the new cost blow-outs included.

"Brisbane commuters deserve solutions that enable more people and businesses to move around our city more reliably and in the most efficient manner."

WECA believes public expenditure should deliver benefits for the community. And, at last count $350million was a large sum of ratepayers monies. Each project should proceed or fall on its own merits.

The Future Is In Our Hands: Just Don't Tell Anyone

The United Nations Association (UNAA) is holding their annual conference in Brisbane (Parliament House) this week. The conference theme is "Making A Difference", and in the Weekly News Summary, UNAA President John Langmore writes:

"The theme of the UNAA National Conference is exactly right: the future is in our hands. The feeling of powerlessness is still quite widespread. That feeling is seductive but it is self-fulfilling. If we despair, we simply give up. If we retain hope and take initiative we can make a difference. Those people with clear aims, determination and persistence can and do influence outcomes. This is as true internationally as locally.

The issues to be addressed by the conference on 21 and 22 August are amongst the most important: sustainability and climate change, peace and conflict resolution, human rights, life-long education, corporate social responsibility, governance, youth and evaluation of past experience. These sessions will provide opportunities for discussion about possibilities and also about concrete actions."

This conference is unaffordable and inaccessible to most people - unless you have a couple of hundred spare dollars. If we ordinary folk do happen to hear anything about this event in the corporate media or the ABC, you can be sure it will be lightweight or dismissive, and under-represent the full scope of the conference.

Interesting that no politicians are participating in this year's Socratic Forum - no surprise really, given it's not an election year!

www.unaa.org.au

"I'm A Sexist Pig And Proud Of It": Queensland Mayor

The Resource Boom, with Trey Tortomysects

A slow-witted Mayor and a very basic propaganda sheet have cooked up yet another "controversial" story to "outrage" Queenslanders and perpetuate backward sexual stereotypes.

"I see hideous examples of femininity walking down the street with big smiles on their faces, and I think to myself - someone must have given them one last night, or they're gonna get one tonight," said the Mayor.

"A good root will sort out any ugly woman."

Builder Wayne Woodie said there wasn't much for women to do in mining towns other than dance around poles.

Electrician Bruce Buzzy said his mates told him to keep his girlfriend away or they would most certainly have a crack at her.

Fly down, fly up miner Harry Hardon hinted that there were women about, but although they were always up for it, you had to pay them.

As for me, I can't believe I write this offensive crap and that I am a willing cog in this misogynist enterprise - what a gutless f*ckwit!

The Rough End Of The Pineapple

A pineapple

Golden Circle was a co-operative
formed in 1947
the second world war veterans
grew pineapples from heaven

180,000 tonnes of fruit and vegetables
from all around the state
jams, cordials, tins of fruit
for your breakfast plate

every Brisbane schoolchild
learned about the canning
and the world's largest steam peeler
even Bernard Fanning!

Coca Cola came-a callin'
in October last year
but the shareholders and the growers said
"Just get out of here"

Anchorage Capital Partners
offered growers 80 cents a share
that's $35 million
so in March they said "awright…yeah"

restructuring, rationalization
the website's also gone
the surplus land at Northgate
sold off for a song?

Bindha station is surrounded
by a safety fence
and the National Workers Union
say this don't make sense

Mr Swan and Mr Roberts
also pretending that they care
but we know they are hoping
this disappears in thin air

private equity folks and politicians
aren't interested in our state
or our golden tins of pineapple
when there's a motsa they can make

Freedom Of "Choise"

"I'll say it again in the land of the free
Use your freedom of choice
Freedom of choice"

'Freedom Of Choice', DEVO (1980)

This signwriter exercised their freedom of "choise" not to use a dictionary!

Barry Jones Gets Rabbiteared, Carstralia Moves Steadily Toward A Bespectacled-Bureaucrat Fascism

Should Kim Carr be exposed to the vagaries of the free market?

YES.

Socialize the losses and privatize the profits! Why not? We accept it everywhere else in our wide browned off land. In the USA Ford reported a second quarter, 2007, profit of US$750million on revenue of US$44.2BILLION! (How do you turn 44Billion into 0.75Billion? It can't possibly be wages or dental plans, can it? Maybe it's all those crap advertisements and ludicrous executive salaries?)

Ford reported a net loss of AU$9.1Billion for the second quarter of 2008, but the Asia pacific Africa region (including Australia) saw a pre-tax profit of $52.4Million on revenue of $1.78Billion! So, essentially, this is a crap business which needs to be put down, surely.

General Motors lost US$38.7BILLION in 2007. Plain old 'lost' it. Did they look down the back of the couch? GM "Holden" lost $6million after tax in 2007. 'The Age' reported that it was "a significant turnaround after losses of $146million and $145million in 2006 and 2005", hooray! Break out the champagne!

Apparently it was "Holden's best performance since its $216.4million profit in 2004 but failed to match the $242.2million profit revealed recently by Australia's market leader, Toyota, for the 12 months to the end of March." Apparently Holden has said that that sales' revenue was down to $6.14BILLION. Ouch, that must hurt our poor dear American friends.

So let's see: a Japanese company makes cars in Australia, employs Australians, sells the most cars, seems to be leading the market AND makes a fairly chunky profit. The American usurers from GMAC and Ford Credit have been churning out sub-standard garbage for decades and doing their best to screw their workers and their host communities (e.g. Geelong) and are the loudest lobbyists for your tax-dollars or else they might just....what? Bugger off and let that precious free market ensure that everyone gets the cheapest and best car the market will bare? Don't be so stupid!

We have this weird ideological psychosis where the neo-liberal, Milton Freidmanist, acolytes preach the "free market" to explain the pain of market failures but manage to benefit from corporate welfare at the same time.

The Australian tax-payer funded subsidies to the Australian car industry are about AU$2.8BILLION per year. That's about $133 for every single Australian, each year, to private multinational corporations and what do we get for that? Politicians bought and paid for by giant US (hopelessly insolvent) companies and their elite friends at the Institute of Public Affairs, the American Enterprise Institute, Council for Foreign Relations, AIPAC and the Ponds Institute amongst many others.

Have a nice day!

Daylight Robbery Comes To Brisbane As Sting Does City Hall

Don't get me wrong, we at the 'Spring Hill Voice' quite like Sting. We've even forgiven him for that Jaguar ad!

But $144 for the privilege of sitting in our own City Hall to watch him promote his new record is a bit rich.

Get in quick, tickets go on sale Monday [18/8/08].

Some More Fiction

"Yep, you know what Goebbels said."

She took a deeper breath and smiled at him.

"What?"

"You have some basil on your face," she said, wiping the bridge of his nose and giving him a kiss.

"Goebbels said that?"

"Yep, he said that," taking another swig from his beer.

"But seriously…"

"I know, I know…the larger the lie etcetera etcetera."

A possum thumped on the roof and two geckos chirruped a reply.

She filled the large pot with water and set it on the stove.

"Pinenuts?" she asked pouring a handful from the jar.

"Excellent."

Loud family discussion and laughter emanated from the neighbour's kitchen and the storm's final rumblings echoed in the distance.

She gradually deposited the nuts for him to incorporate, then topped up her glass and retrieved him another beer.

"Thanks," he said.

"I think this is nearly done."

"Let me take over," she said, piling some pasta into the pot.

"He wandered out to the front veranda and lit the candle on the table and a cigarette."

The cat followed.

As he scratched her under the chin, he looked out at the city lights. They looked strange without the weather beacon. The town was said to have come of age in the last couple of years, but in truth the parts of the city, which gave it its unique character, were being squashed all around town to make way for tunnels, and a neo-conservative political ideology - all under the guise of "cosmopolitanism". It was her hometown and he felt sorry for her having to witness the final throes of its destruction, and not be able to do anything about it.

"The beacon's demise really did symbolize something a little more sinister and unstoppable had reached the city," he thought.

"Perhaps this whole situation means it's time to get out."

The cat trotted out onto the middle of the glistening road.

"Hey! Get back here!" he yelled, as a car hurtled past.

The cat raced back inside leaving wet paw prints along the hallway.

He took a drag of his cigarette, and one last look at the lights.

"Pasta's done!" she called.

He stubbed out his cigarette and went in.

"It smells fantastic," he said, as she stirred the pesto through the pasta.

"You make the best pesto in town," he said, giving her a hug.

"Now don't be cheesy, and set the table," she laughed.

They set themselves up on the veranda.

A fruit bat squawked and the last drops of rain pattered upon the roof.

"Are you OK?" he asked, swirling the pasta upon his fork.

"Yeah."

"Still thinking about it though?"

"Impossible not to. I know I should forget it, but for some reason I can't let it rest - it's just too awful."

"This is delicious," he said.

She rolled her eyes.

"Look, at least just think about the ramifications before you do anything. You've stumbled into dangerous territory and I know you say you have nothing to lose, but please just think, before you do anything."

She took a mouthful and put down her fork.

"I will, I promise."

"You don't have to risk your life in order to change the world."

"I know, but I can't bear the thought of all those people who've been crushed by this dirty little secret."

The pesto was so good; they stopped talking and tackled the fragrant pasta piled on their plates.

She went to retrieve the wine from the fridge and looked in on the cat, who had curled up on their bed.

"You funny little thing," she said, as the cat opened one eye, and stretched her front legs.

A dark shadow appeared behind the billowing curtain.

He heard a van start up down the end of the street and screech off into the night.

Monsters.

*****

Highrise Hooter Outrage

Wear a bra or bare the consequences...politicians

In The Honey Pot, with Prue Dish

High-rise residents in Surfers Paradise who take their tops off during the Indy will be consigned to history and sent to Christmas Island.

Mr Hooter, who holds the future of the race in his two bare hands, said that "something needed to be done...going forward."

All the politicians and ex-politicians agreed about the problematic aspect of nudity on balconies in private dwellings.

"These people might think that just because they happen to live in Surfers Paradise, they are entitled to do what they like," they all said.

"In fact, we think all Surfers Paradise residents - even those who think they can shower in the nude - should be bundled off to Christmas Island before the race commences."

Queensland taxpayers will fork out record amounts of cash to Indy again this year and the Limited News is determined to support this loss-making rort, so we can expect all manner of non-news leading up to this year's flop of an event. Our special correspondent, Prue Dish, will keep us up to date.

Council Removes Head From Sexy Seaside Sculpture

Women. Controversial and offensive...unless they're being submissive or degrading themselves.

Culture, with Trey Tortomysects

A controversial sculpture of a lady has had its head removed because the local Council says it is offensive.

"The sculpture depicted a female and was therefore offensive," said Cr Crockofsh*t.

"I don't have a problem with artistic representations of the female form, as long as it's not in a place where young families might see them."

Yummy mummy Mrs Eve Angelical agreed:

"I quite like those "pole-dancing Mum" Nandos ads on television, the "Want Better Sex" billboards all along the highway and adult shops all around the place, but I certainly don't like sculptures which celebrate the female form - what am I supposed to tell the children?"

Tell us. Now that we've fairly reported on this issue: Is the sculpture less offensive with its head removed? spring_hill_voice@hotmail.com

EKKA Showbag Outrage

The "Giant Patel" Showbag...selling like hotcakes

Down And Dirty with Carny Righteous.

Filthy showbags at this year's EKKA are corrupting anyone who enters the John Reid Wool Pavilion - including me - I'm wearing my lacy G-pop panties right now - even though they're a bit tight. The showbags may contain Chupa Chups, but they're utterly disgusting, so make sure you buy one.

Other showbags that are selling well include the "Giant Patel", which contains 'Young Doctors' and 'All Saints' DVDs, a letter of recommendation from the former Premier, a stethoscope and do-it-yourself CV. The "Make Your Own Newspaper", with its press releases from the federal opposition, the American Enterprise Institute and a pharmaceutical company, a talking points memo from Rupert Murdoch and an array of sexist bullsh*t and some words to use in headlines, is also proving very popular.

Shock: Loser Suburbs Are Losers

The "Why Am I So F*cking Broke?" or V.AM.P.I.R.E. Report reveals all

The economy: with Lassay Fare

A university report has revealed that people living in Brisbane's loser suburbs are losers, and will continue to be losers because they can't afford petrol or their mortgage repayments.

A researcher from the university said the report also shows that there are very wealthy people living in wealthy suburbs.

"I cannot for the life of me understand why the government keeps putting money into roads and not public transport," he said.

"It's as if they are deliberating running public transport into the ground."

Oh well.

Take our: "Are You Sick Of The Corporate Media's Bogus Tests" test to find out if are sick of the corporate media's BOGUS tests.

1. This question isn't included? Y/N

2. How many articles in the corporate media have you read in the last 6 months which talk up Queensland's property market? Y/N

3. Have you been to the Picasso exhibition yet, and did you go because they told you to? Y/N

4. Did you go to the Warhol exhibition because they told you to? Y/N

5. If they told you to shove your head in the oven, would you do it? Y/N

6. Do you have any money in your bank account? Y/N

7. Would you like to give me some? Y/N

8. Are you trying to sell your investment property for $100,000 more than you bought if for just because you had smeg appliances installed in the kitchen? Y/N

9. Are you living in your car? Y/N

10. If you don't have a car, why not, and what happened to that expensive puppy dog you bought as a status symbol? Y/N

11. When you bought that big box of Kreepy Kremes and an iPhone because we told you to, did you have to put it on your credit card? Y/N

12. Do you not realise we are taking the piss? Y/N

Tally up the answers, make yourself a cup of tea and a bex and have a good lie down. Don't forget to leave the keys in your Prado - the repo man's on his way!

Rich, Beautiful, Successful Brisbane Women Just As Shamelessly Shallow As Their Husbands: Report

"He's every highflying businesswoman's idea of rough trade,
Even brainy feminists queue up to be enslaved.
He flings his tradesman's ladder up to your wife's balustrade,
He goes on like that endless road he just keeps getting laid"

'I Wish I Was Tex Perkins', by "Root!" (2008)

A Caroline Nicotine exclusive.

Brisbane women are secretly desirous of illicit adulterous meaningless affairs with flaky steroid-taking, cashew-dicked, self-infatuated men of questionable sexuality.

A Teneriffe real estate agent, who wouldn't give his real name, and moonlights as an escort, said that even though he was gay, he knew that women were buying sex.

"I wish I were a ladies handbag," he said.

"I charge $150 - $180 an hour, even though it only usually takes a minute! But that's what I charge men, such as newspaper columnists from all over town, other real estate agents and finance commentators. For a female woman, well I just don't know if I could even do it with a woman, but I suppose if the price was right, who knows? If I was doing this interview for a Murdoch paper I reckon I'd be capable of any abomination, really," he said.

Another escort, Manuel, who moonlights as a sound engineer (yeah right), said that sometimes there wasn't enough beer to warrant having sex with some of the women.

Manuel..."No madam, not enough beer. Sorry."

Please tell us that you don't get taught this stuff in QUT or UQ's "journalism" degrees?

"Just a gigolo
Everywhere I go
People know the part
I'm playing"

'Just A Gigolo' (adapted by Irving Caesar in 1929 from the Austrian song 'Schöner Gigolo', written in 1928 by Leonello Casucci and Julius Brammer. Made even more famous by The Village People in 1978, and David Lee Roth in 1985)

Why Did The Go-Betweens Sell 'Streets Of Your Town' To The 'Courier-Mail'?

I'm still none the wiser - even after seeing 'Great Australian Albums: The Go-Betweens' 16 Lovers Lane' at BIFF this afternoon [9/8/08]! To be fair, this documentary only promised to give an "insight into the history, workings, and demise of The Go-Betweens following the success of '16 Lovers Lane'", and in that respect it was a lovely restrospective look at the inspiration behind the songs, and a sentimental journey back twenty years.

Along with the band members, it was also interesting to hear what Sean Sennett (former Managing Editor of 'Time-Off'), David Nichols (author of a 2003 biography of the 'Go-Betweens') and Mark Wallis (producer of '16 Lovers Lane') had to say, but I'm not sure why the incredibly irritating Ben Lee was included as an interviewee.

Referring to 'Streets Of Your Town' in his biography of the 'Go-Betweens', David Nichols says it is "possibly the closest the Go-Betweens ever came to capturing that "striped sunlight sound" they had once talked about so much. McLennan belies his professed wish for simplicity in this song, which is a vibrant tune combining lush Spanish guitar with paranoid, bitter lyrics. The shafts of sunlight, in this instance, are glints from a butcher's knife."

In early 2006, many 'Go-Betweens' fans were appalled to learn that 'Streets Of Your Town' had been used in a television advertisement to promote the print media monopoly in Brisbane. Comments on the 'Go-Betweens' Message Board about the use of 'Streets Of Your Town' in the advertisement ranged from:

"I'm disappointed. Very disappointed." to

"Just the thought of the GBs in any way supporting Murdoch is hard to stomach",

"I can't stand the idea of a Go-Between's song promoting a Murdoch title. It would ruin the song were I to hear that advertisement" and

"I heard the ad and swung around because of the 'Streets Of Your Town' music...It is a bit rude, as Brisbane has recently been claiming the Go-Betweens after decades of neglect."

Bread And Circuses On The Eve Of World War

Here's a well written review of the opening ceremony for the 1936 Olympic Games from 'The Times' of London:

'THE OLYMPIAD OPENED...MARCH OF NATIONS IN BERLIN...OLIVE BRANCH FOR HERR HITLER'

From our special correspondent

Berlin, Aug 2

The new Germany presented two great dramatic spectacles in the Reichssportsfeld yesterday. In the afternoon the eleventh Olympiad was opened. In the evening there was a flood-lit masterpiece entitled "Olympic Youth." Berlin itself, from morning until well after midnight, was a well-ordered scene of colour, with many processions and more speeches.

The stone stadium, greater even than Wembley, was a strangely quiet place for all its 100,000 occupants until the hands of the huge clock on one of the western pylons approached the hour of four. Bugles then sounded, melodious rather than martial. The crowds cheered and hands were raised int he Nazi salute as a small, almost insignificant, procession appeared at the top of the 150 steps leading down into the arena. The figures were dwarfed by their surroundings, the depth of the descent into the stadium, and the vista--seen between the pylons--of wide playing fields beyond. Nothing, however, could prevent instant recognition of the key figure, walking slowly between two civilians in top hats and frock-coats. The Fuhrer, in brown uniform, had arrived.

He walked with dignity down the flight of stairs while the crowds still cheered. At the bottom of the stairs a small girl held out to him a gift of flowers and he smiled as he took them. Then he climbed up on to the dais from which Caesar was to accept the salutes of the athletes of 50 nations.

ENTRY OF ATHLETES

Before the march of the Olympic teams, however, "Deutschland uber Alles" and the Horst Wessel song were sung. More fanfares of trumpets were sounded: the flags of the nations were hoisted on staffs set at intervals around the parapet of the stadium; and the Olympic Bell was rung.

That was the signal for the athletes to enter. They marched in alphabetical order according to country, except the Greek team, who came first, and the large German team, who came last. It was in the main a blue and white or blue and grey procession--royal blue or navy blue and white or grey trousers. Splashes of more vivid colours were introduced by the red fezzes of the Egyptians and the distinctive red jerseys or blazers of the Danes and Poles. Nothing was more artistic than the silver-grey coats and turbans of India, and nothing smarter than the all-white attire of some of the national teams, including the German, who, as hosts, brought up the rear, marching immediately behind the 357 smart men and women who composed the powerful team of the United States of America. Great Britain's 240 men and women were not attired to catch the eye, but they marched as well as any, with a great Olympic veteran in J. Beresford, the rowing man, to carry their flag. J. Lovelock carried the New Zealand flag. The surprisingly large Swiss team were headed by a laughing, bareheaded man, who introduced a note of comedy by the gusto with which he threw his weighted flag high into the air and caught it again as it fell in spirals. Once, the spiral nearly beat him, but the crowd were spared the full Bateman touch. Of the fifty-two teams who had entered only two were absent, Jamaica and Spain.

FRENCH SALUTE

The national teams gave varying salutes. Those who raised the hand, some say in the old Olympic tradition, and some in the manner of modern Germany and Italy, were cheered the loudest. Generous cheers, however, were given to all, and to none more than to the tiny teams whose ranks consisted of little more than a nameplate and a standard bearer. Nothing, too, was more gracious, more enthusiastic, or more full of hope than the reception accorded the French team, who, as it happened, immediately preceded the British. A roar of surprise and delight went up when the Frenchmen, who included some smart military competitors in uniform, raised their right arms. And the roar grew in warmth. If France stole much of the British, who would complain? Not even the Bulgarian goose-step was greeted so warmly as the French salute. The British team saluted simply with eyes right.

Prominent in the Greek team was the now elderly Louis, winner of the Marthon race in 1896. He was dressed in the Greek national costume and, as the team passed the dais, he left them to climb the stairs--with apparent difficulty--and present an olive branch to the Fuhrer. The teams had no sooner reached their places opposit the official side of the stadium than the relayed voice of Baron Pierre de Coubertin, founder of the modern Olympiad, was heard. An enormous notice board helped the crowd to understand his words. "The importance of the Olympic Games," so the summary said, "is not success, but participation; not merely struggle, but chivalry." The crowd cheered: Dr. Lewald, president of the organizing committee, gave his welcome to the teams; and the Fuhrer, in the brief and formal manner laid down by the Olympic rules, declared the Games Open.

THE TORCH-BEARER

This, as it proved was but a stage in the spectacle. High drama was to follow. The guns--off-stage, as it were--thundered their part in the piece. The air suddenly became full of flying pigeons. The trumpets agains ounded, and the beautiful new Olympic hymn, composed and conducted by Richard Strauss, was played. Then came the last of the torch-bearers from Greece--a fair-haired, slim young man who carried his torce down the eastern steps, along the track, and up the western steps, in the manner of an artist, and with his torch lit the Olympic fires in their large brazier.

The taking of the Olympic Oath by an appointed German athlete, Rudolf Ismayr, holding the new flag of his country, the singing of the Hallelujah Chorus by the choir, who made a great square of white on the far side of the Stadium, the march-out of the teams and the departure of the Fuhrer completed the ceremony.

YOUTH CEREMONY

The streets of the old city, Unter den Linden and the neighbourhood had been packed from early in the morning with spactators eager to see the arrival of the Olympic torch on its last lap. They were treated to the ever-popular spectacle of a marching column with bands, a mixed battalion composed of two companies of soldiers, a company of sailors, and a company of airmen. Foreign youth and students' delegations in shorts, and sometimes sporting kit, with flags, also marched down for the reception of the "sacred fire" in the Lustgarten, where 26,000 members of the Hitler Youth, boys in Nazi brown and girls in white and blue, had assembled.

After a military ceremony at the War memorial and speeches of greeting to the youth of the world by Herr Baldur von Schirach, the Reich Youth leader, Herr von Taschamme-Sten, the Reich sport leader, Dr. Rust, the Education Minister, and Dr. Goebbels, the Propaganda Minister, the last runner of the stage to Berlin appeared from the Wilhelmstrasse and passed down the middle of Unter den Linden with his torch, followed by the faithful motor-vehicles which had accompanied the series of runners from Greece, one carrying a spare torch. The "sacred fire" was set on an alter in the Lustgarten, and left under the guard of the Hitler Youth until, in the afternoon, it was carried on to the stadium for the opening of the games.

Shortly afterwards Herr Hitler received the International Olympic Committee in the Chancery. In the course of an address the Fuhrer said: "I have now resolved that in lasting commemoration of the eleventh Olympiad held in Berlin in 1936, the excavations begun in 1875 on the site of the Olympic Sports and Festivals shall be continued and completed. I must thank the Government of the King of Greece for having given their consent to these operations, by means of which a sanctuary of ancient civilization will be restored to modern humanity."

During the day Herr Hitler received the Prince of Piedmont,, and later in the day Prince Paul of Greece and Prince Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden.

The Festival Play in the evening, which attracted another large crowd, was presented in accordance with the wish of Baron de Coubertin that the opening day of the elventh Olympiad should be in attune with Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. The Germans, therefore, staged a spectacle in which some thousands of boys and girls of verying ages took part in a series of beautifully lit plays and tableaux. The first, for quite young children, involved a mass entrance in white down the steps. The play for girls emobdied the idea of grace and simplicty; and that for boys, with its camp fires and choruses, had for its motive manliness and health. Parties drawn from a number of countries joined in the singing. Not the least impressive part of this play was the hoisting of the flags under a towering canopy of light formed by a skilful concentration of searchlights above the arena. Many of the finest dancers in Germany assisted in another play, which introduced in classic form the element of strife and its inevitable aftermath of grief. Finally, there was the singing of Olympic hymns.

Our Tokyo Correspondent telegraphs that seldom has news from abroad given greater pleasure to the Japanese people than the decision regarding the 1940 Olympiad. In view of young Japan's enthusiasm for sport, the West could not have paid a compliment that the Japanese appreciated more. The beneficial effects of the decision may extend beyond sport, for public opinion will be influenced by a desire to allow nothing to imperial the success of Japan's first Olympic Games. To-morrow the Tokyo municipality will begin a three-day popular festival to celebrate the decision, with free entertainments, processions, and fireworks. The Hochi in a leading article to-day thanks Great Britain for withdrawing her candidature.

Olympic Silence Is Not Golden

www.getup.org/campaign/OlympicSilenceIsNotGolden

Peter Norman knew it. Norman was the silver medal-winning Australia who, at the 1968 Mexico City Olympic Games, stood on the dais and wore a civil rights badge in support of the silent protest against racial discrimination made by American athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos. Smith and Carlos raised their fists in a 'Black Power' salute after receiving their medals:

"The Australian could quite easily have disassociated himself from the protest and refused to participate in the medal presentation ceremony. He knew in advance what the Americans intended to do when he accompanied them onto the dias. He knew that he would almost certainly face repercussions for his support. He also knew only too well that his actions were likely to be seen by many as hypocritical. After all, his own country had an appalling record for having treated its Indigenous people as less than second-class citizens, refusing to formally acknowledge them in national census counts until the year before the Olympics. But Peter Norman was a man of conviction and great moral fibre. Racial discrimination was abhorrent to him - he firmly believed that all people were created equal and had a natural-born right to be treated that way.

Peter said of the ceremony:

It's been said that sharing my silver medal with that incident on the victory dais detracted from my performance. On the contrary! Getting across the line between the two of them in the actual race itself was my moment of glory. The victory ceremony in no way detracted from that. I was very proud to run second and I was very proud to be on the victory dais with them when they made their statement. I'm a firm believer that in a victory ceremony for the Olympics, there's three guys standing up there. Each one's been given about a square metre of God's earth to stand on and what any one of the three choose to do with his square metre of earth at that stage is entirely up to them. If I hadn't been happy with what they did, I wouldn't have asked for the badge."

From Chapter One: 'The Impossible Dream' from the book 'A Race To Remember: The Peter Norman Story' by Damian Johnstone & Matt Norman.

Australian Coalition For Democracy In Burma -

Greens Media Release [8/8/08]

Twenty years ago today more than three thousand Burmese students, activists and monks were murdered by the military regime in scenes of unprecedented violence and brutality. Australia must now sever economic ties with the corrupt and repressive dictatorship, according to the President of the Australian Coalition for Democracy in Burma John Kaye.

Dr Kaye, who is also a member of the NSW Parliament, said: "On the day on which the world remembers the innocent Burmese murdered by the military in the uprising two decades ago, we call on the Australian government to ensure that the children of those responsible for atrocities against their people are not being educated in this country.

"It is time for the Rudd governement to increase pressure on the regime by expelling these students and freezing all Australian bank accounts associated with the regime.

"Australia should not give comfort to those who have grown wealthy by stealing from their own country. At least three children of senior military figures are reported to be living in Sydney.

"Just as in last September's 'Saffron Revolution', on the eighth day of the eighth month of eighty eight, decades of incompetent, corrupt and repressive dictatorship drove a famously tolerant and peaceful Burmese people onto the streets.

And like last year's unprovoked attacks on the demonstrators, the military responded with systematic bashings, arbitrary arrests and torture and widespread murder.

"The events of twenty years ago not only demonstrated the viciousness of the military and their determination to maintain a vice-like grip on the power to pillage their country regardless of the human cost.

"It also showed the courage of the people of Burma and their commitment to restoring democracy after 56 years of dictatorship.

"In 1988 Australia was the first country to recognise the repressive military dictatorship that emerged from the chaos of the uprising.

"Twenty years later it is well past time we unded that mistake and gave every assistance to the Burmese people struggling to the free," Dr Kaye said.

They Say The EKKA Never Changes

Remember the classic EKKA icons? There was always the super cheap Bertie Beetle showbag, and there was always the ABC outside broadcast, with Jenny Woodward doing the weather from the EKKA at the end of the 7.00 news.

At $2, the Bertie Beetle showbag may still be the best value showbag, but it seems that for the first time in many years, Jenny Woodward will not be broadcasting the nightly weather bulletin from the EKKA this year.

And what's with all the intense health and safety bullsh*t? The government doesn't care about lead levels for children in Mt Isa, another worker fell to his death from a high rise on the Gold Coast today [6/8/08], but the kids can't go on the merry-go-round because it's too dangerous and they can't have the "made in China" clown in their showbag, because of "lead", double-standards?

(*UPDATE*) Well it looks like Jenny is presenting the weather from the EKKA afterall - phew!

August 6 Is Hiroshima Day

"Enola gay, is mother proud of little boy today?
Aha this kiss you give, its never ever gonna fade away"

'Enola Gay', Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark (OMD) - 1980

"Hiroshima does not look like a bombed city. It looks as if a monster steamroller had passed over it and squashed it out of existence." - Wilfred Burchett

Burchett was the first westerner into Hiroshima after the atom bomb was dropped, arriving alone by train from Tokyo on September 2, the day of the formal surrender...His article in the 'Daily Express' on September 5, 1945, entitled 'The Atomic Plague', was the first public report to mention the effects of of radiation and nuclear fallout. (from Wikipedia)

Corporate Media And Council Attack Brisbane Pedestrians - Yet Again

Periodically they do this and nothing gets resolved - other than pedestrians being increasingly vilified and fined.

Here are excerpts from recent stories from the 'Brisbane Times' - and you thought they were more reasonable than the 'Courier-Mail'!:

19 mowed down at one city crossing [6/8/08]

Pedestrians are their own worst enemies when it comes to accidents with cars around Brisbane's CBD, the latest statistics show.

And last year's efforts:

CBD speed limits may be lowered [30/7/07]

Brisbane City Council will look at lowering the CBD speed limit to 40kmh because inner-city pedestrians are not taking safety seriously.

Jaywalkers face increased fines [30/7/07]

Police want to lift the city's $30 pedestrian fines to $75 and to take a demerit point from jaywalkers' driver's licences in a bid to cut the number of fatal and injury traffic accidents in Brisbane.

Brisbane's pedestrians "dice with death" on a daily basis - but only because of the supremacy of the car.

Insufficient pedestrian access has made walking throughout Brisbane's CBD and inner city increasingly hazardous. Treacherous crossings, unacceptable traffic light sequences, road markings, inappropriate speed limits and loss of footpath to construction zones make it dangerous to walk or cycle around Brisbane's CBD and beyond.

And everybody knows someone who's been hit by an impatient driver. An acquaintance was hit while crossing on George Street by a car turning from Ann Street. The car grazed her hip knocking her to the ground where she landed hard on her hand. She was taken by ambulance to the Royal Brisbane Hospital as her blood pressure was dangerously high. Her companion said:

“Funnily enough, before the accident, as we waited on the kerb, another couple of pedestrians crossed before the walk sign appeared. I said that they probably shouldn't do that, it's not very safe.”

A couple of years ago, 'The Independent' ran a story about pedestrian safety in Brisbane - here's an excerpt:

According to Dr Matthew Burke, Research Fellow at the Urban Research Program, Griffith University, large volumes of traffic movement are not unusual for cities, but other cities throughout the world “manage and humanize” traffic movement. “We haven't got anywhere near that,” he said. Dr Burke identified particular trouble spots for Brisbane pedestrians at North Quay, George and Roma Streets. The area outside Roma Street Station is particularly dangerous for pedestrians, with many deaths and serious injuries occurring there. “You cannot work out what you're meant to do,” he said. Brisbane's jaywalking epidemic is a direct result of our inadequate pedestrian infrastructure.

Lowering traffic speed in line with national levels through urban corridors could be one way of improving pedestrian safety in Brisbane's CBD. Dr Burke says a speed limit to 40 or 50 kph moves just as many cars through as 60 kph. On an world scale, 60 kph is an excessively high travel speed that causes “a thunderous cacophony of traffic” and has a adverse effect on pedestrian safety.

Dr Burke also cites the example of Melbourne, where two-thirds of inner-city lane ways are closed off to cars at certain times throughout the day. Pedestrians account for more retail spending than people in cars. “Look at the Queen Street Mall,” he said. “It's visited by 100,000 people per day.” Dr Burke recommends improved signaling to increase crossing times, more appropriate sequencing of lights and moving back the line at which a vehicle should stop at a crossing.

Pedestrians are second class citizens in Brisbane. Who are these scribes at the 'Brisbane Times' and the 'Courier-Mail' writing for?

It's certainly not the Brisbane citizenry.

Taskforce Portaloo On The Prowl

Taskforce Portaloo: Coming soon to your neighbourhood

In response to the non-existent community outrage about overcrowded rental accommodation, Council has set up a special taskforce to patrol Brisbane's suburbs.

As well as keeping an eye out for portaloos, "Taskforce Portaloo", will have the authority to search the garages and storerooms of rental properties for evidence of overcrowding - but only in suburbs with high populations of international students.

"Council doesn't have any concerns about the safety aspects of overcrowding, we're more worried about our developer mates missing out on lucrative rental returns," said Deputy Mayor McCheese.

"And although it is quite clear the free market is in operation here, I will be writing to the State leaders because their developer mates are probably missing out too."

The City Hall leaders expect Brisbane residents to co-operative fully with this exciting new initiative by dobbing in their neighbours if they have any suspicions.

Aussies Prepare For Beijing

"Now, all my young Dookies and Duchesses
Take warning from what I do say
Mind all is your own as you touchesses
Or you'll join us in Botany Bay"

From the musical 'Little Jack Sheppard' by Henry Pottinger Stephens and William Yardley (1885)

Aussie Olympians have created a stir on their arrival in Beijing with their striking black and white striped outfits.

An Aussie athlete... preparing for the Olympic Marathon

The outfits symbolise Australia's unique beginnings as a nation, and were designed to reflect our history i.e. they make our athletes look like a bunch of convicts.

The Aussie Olympians are also preparing themselves for competition in the smog by taking up chain smoking.

An Aussie Olympian receiving his daily quota of cigarettes

Should We Say Sayonara To The Flying Kangaroo?

1920 was the year
of the flying kangaroo
founded in Winton
for me and you

Charleville to Cloncurry
the very first flights
now she'll get you to London
in only one night

the Reverend John Flynn
in 1928
founded the flying doctor
not a minute too late

in the 1930s
Forgan Smith flew
for the Salk vaccine
a monkey crew

a legendary journey
in 1974
from Darwin she travelled
with 327 on board

the A380
is the world's largest plane
would you fly on it?
are you insane?

the beginning of the end
was 1995
with privatisation
the end was nigh

in 2001
Ansett died
yet some 737s
were ordered in record time

to private equity
the shareholders said "no"
but they're still circling
don't ya know?

bye bye Margaret
ta ta Geoff
thanks for the legacy
that you've left

the Rainman may have said
she was the safest in the air
and passengers could fly
without a care

but engineers' jobs
are heading overseas
as faceless millionaires
rub their hands with glee

should we say sayonara?
adieu and farewell?
for the flying kangaroo
can we hear the death knell?

5 Days Notice To Protest: Queensland Citizens Just As Free As Chinese

"Need a little time to wake up, wake up
Well
What's the story morning glory?
Well"

'Morning Glory', Oasis [1995]

Today [3/8/08] the ABC reported: 'Beijing protestors ordered to give 5 days' notice':

"People who want to protest during the Olympic Games should seek permission five days ahead of their actions, according to the Chinese Government."

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/03/2322648.htm

The report states that only "officially sanctioned demonstrations" will be allowed, and that protests "must not harm national, social and collective interests".

It's quite obvious, from the tone of recent western media reports that we are supposed to take a stern view of the Chinese Government's policies about public protests. The subtle message is that they are bad.

When I heard this on ABC radio, I was trying to remember where I'd heard such draconian restrictions on the public's right to free speech and assembly. Of course, it's Queensland's own Peaceful Assembly Act (1992) - specifically sections 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11, which contain the same restrictions:

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/qld/consol_act/paa1992170/

It is unlawful to hold a protest in Queensland unless you get prior approval at least 5 days before under the Peaceful Assembly Act (1992). The protest must be officially sanctioned and cannot harm certain interests. Perhaps the Chinese copied their anti-protest laws from us?

Not to mention Australia's sedition and anti-terror laws - everyone remembers the freedom and democracy on display during APEC last year!

Barbs Belie Secret Love

"Down and Dirty" with State Political Editor Jube Barleaner.

"Young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turnin' you on?
I will, I will, I will
I will, be there to share forever
Love will keep us together
I said it before and I'll say it again
While others pretend
I need you now and I need you then
Just stop, 'cause I really love you
Stop, I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love
Keep us together"

'Love Will Keep Us Together', Captain and Tennille [1975]

Do the public barbs and insults hide a secret love? Well, "Down and Dirty" can reveal that two very prominent political figures are steaming up George Street on the sly.

A source close to one of the politicians says a simmering passion is evident whenever the two cross paths, despite outward expressions of antipathy and derision.

"Try as they might to present the image that they are ideological opposites, they're actually exactly the same," he said.

What's That Smell? Picasso Exhibition Evacuated

"OK, who had tacos last night?"

Were you there? Send us your photos and do our work for us: spring_hill_voice@hotmail.com

'The Fiveways': A Disappointing Pain In The *rse

Treading the boards, with Emily Exiled.

As part of this year's Brisbane Festival, Eugene Gilfedder's play 'The Fiveways' appeared over three nights in a parking lot in Wilson Street West End. Tonight as we drove past the "Clem7" tunnel works, on the freeway over the obliterated restaurants, houses and shops of South Brisbane, I had high hopes for this show. Given that 'The Fiveways' was prominently mentioned in a big piece in the 'Courier-Mail' this week, I should have known better. After all, endorsement by that horrid rag usually spells cultural abomination. We took cushions to cover our behinds from the cold bitumen but this performance was still too painful to the posterior.

Last night's [2/8/08] BYO chairs and cushions performance attracted a couple of hundred other Brisbergians - about twenty of whom walked out during the show. Who can blame them? People will endure anything - even an hour of feeling cold and uncomfortable - but only if the quality warrants it.

The play was set in one of Brisbane's "fiveways" - you know, like the Valley or Normanby Fiveways - and was promoted as a mystical and musical interpretation of the vagaries of unrestrained development upon a collection of ramshackle old buildings and the quirky community who reside within them. The hour long production was pantomime meets sniff and stiff, blended with strange songs and acrobatics. Unfortunately, as cultural commentary 'The Fiveways' is twenty years too late and detached from the reality of what is happening to all the special parts of Brisbane right now. It was as if the unadventurous script had been written in one night with one eye firmly on the state and corporate backers and the culturally bland objectives of the festival organisers.

The production and sets were fantastic, and the performers all very talented and enthusiastic, but 'The Fiveways' was a missed opportunity to say something real - it was only when the buildings were knocked over that an audience reaction was evident - as they all laughed out loud. And using the story as a metaphor for an "indigenous tribeswoman, a rare species, an ecosystem or a marginalized eccentric mowed over by populist culture" within the character of the goldfish girl was simplistic, arrogant and vaguely offensive.

Eugene Gilfedder is a brilliant composer, actor and director, but 'The Fiveways' was disappointingly safe and uninspiring - what do you expect when your production partners are Arts Queensland and QBuild, and the festival's principal media partner is the 'Courier-Mail'?

Brisbane Diners Sophisticated In Their Inflexibility

by 'Spring Hill Voice's' Food Critic, Screaming Lord Such*

A visiting celebrity chef, who last week said Brisbane's late night dining scene left a lot to be desired, now maintains that Brisbane diners aren't inflexible just because they like to eat at 7.30 pm on the dot, and be in beddy byes by 10 pm every night.

"I may have made a few disparaging remarks, but I didn't mean it, truly I didn't," he said, as his nuts were placed in a vice by members of the Bowen Hills mafia.

"Brisbane is so vibrant and even though there isn't anywhere to eat after 10 pm, Brisbane is as sophisticated as Melbourne or Sydney, and Brisbane diners are sophisticated too."

In the not too distant past, Brisbane's night owls had plenty of places to go for a late night feed: Night of the Iguana at Toowong, Topolinos at Spring Hill, Enzos and The Hanging Gardens at West End, Parrots in Elizabeth Street, Tortilla in the Elizabeth Arcade and party animals and people who liked playing Dungeons and Dragons would frequent the Pancake Manor in Charlotte Street - which appears to still be open 24hrs a day.

But I won't mention that in my story because I'm an obedient little clown, and although I can't explain it, I like Brisbane's new cultural paradigm too!

* Screaming Lord Such is a renound foodie b*tch, who once worked at Bowen Hills, that's why he can't write a simple report, and his articles contain mixed messages, make no sense or attack individuals who carelessly speak the truth and deviate from the approved pro-Brisbane praising talking points, and you have to read between the lines for the real story - which relates to crook Liquor Licensing laws.

Man On Man Action Gallery Shock

by Edmund Laydown and Dick Licks (Henrietta Whoreitabout is on leave)

Art or Porn? Naked man in bath angers family groups

A Brisbane art gallery has drawn the ire of family groups by promoting an upcoming exhibition with two naked men frolicking in the bath.

The exhibition contains lots of pictures of nude men in various poses.

Phoar.

Hey motorists, why don't you drive through Woollongabba tonight and scope out the faux homosexual action? The men will appear by candlelight, just like that American movie starring Kevin Spacey.

In actuality, no one gives a flying f*ck about the naked men - except for some family groups who display similar misandric tendencies to the only paper in town.

Spokesperson for one of the family groups Mr Rod Spareit said despite the only paper in town's best efforts, faux homosexual action "is so yesterday".

But the gallery's owner said it was "so New York".

'Spring Hill Voice' and police visited the gallery yesterday and can confirm the men weren't even wearing budgie smugglers!

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