Freelove Dumps Floppo

"No Comment" ... Chickybabe

In breaking news, Freelove the falcon has "flown the coop".

But Floppo has been quick to find a replacement for his nest, which is located on a ledge outside one of those poncy apartments whose residents are quite worried about climate change.

A similar, but younger and slender looking bird, has been observed making herself comfortable in Floppo's nest.

She's known around town as "Chickybabe", and was one of the star performers at last night's lingerie parade at Falcon Fashion Week.

Floppo, and his new love interest were not available for comment today, and flew away.

But during an interview at an undisclosed locale, Freelove said, "Ark! Ark! Ark! Quite franky I just want the simple life."

"Can you imagine what it's been like for me, having my entire reproductive cycle filmed for Brisbane clowns to watch? Not to mention the fact that Floppo was a dud lay."

"I was a bird in a gilded cage."

Commenting on the said interloper, Falcon expert Mr Featherhead said, "All I know is, they are shit cars."

But the newspaper man who runs 'Falconcam' said, "Who cares if it's Freelove or not? No-one's watching 'Falconcam', in fact I'm not sure if anyone ever did, so we needed to expand upon this bullshit story to spark some interest."

An Evening In The Chamber

At the beginning of World War Two there was fierce debate about the 'National Security Bill' in the Federal Parliament. The labor member for Bourke said, "The essential distinction between what are called the totalitarian states and the representative democracies, is that in the former the executive power and legislative power are combined in the one hand, whereas in representative democracies the legislative and executive powers are not so concentrated...The offense which a measure like this commits against the people of Australia is that it surrenders the principle of democracy for which we are supposed to be fighting and adopts our enemy's principle of totalitarianism." (quoted in 'Australia in the War of 1939 -1945, 'The Government and the People' by Paul Hasluck, 1965)

A Socratic Forum examining the role of local, state and Commonwealth government was held in the Legislative Council Chamber, Parliament House last evening [29/8/07]. The proposition was: "That Canberra is taking too much power from the states."

First speaker, the Honourable Andrew Fraser MP, Minister for Local Government, Planning and Sport, argued that the Commonwealth wields too much power. He gave examples of what he called "fiscal bullying" and said that Canberra, under a labor Prime Minister, took too much power from the states long ago.

"States are the original building blocks of our great nation," he said.

"If we allow them to wither, we allow our nation to wither."

Senator the Hon George Brandis SC, Minister for the Arts and Sport rejected the notion Canberra is taking too much power from the states as a "non sequitur". He said that according to Sections 51 and 109 of the Constitution, states have powers to pass any laws they need.

He referred to the 1998 election during which, he said, state labor premiers were "muted in their criticism" of the proposed GST.

Senator Brandis quoted Paul Keating's famous quip, "Never stand between a Premier and a bucket of money."

He said that states were receiving $830 million extra income from the GST than under the old system.

"State governments cannot expect the Commonwealth to look on with benign disinterest if this money is being misused," he said.

Senator Brandis also said, "Australians harbour a robust suspicion of governments at every level."

Beginning with Senator Andrew Bartlett, a series of speakers provided commentary on the two main arguments.

Senator Bartlett began by highlighting the significance of holding such a forum in the Legislative Council Chamber (Queensland's upper house was abolished in 1922), and took the opportunity to note the failure of both state and federal governments to properly represent indigenous Australians.

He suggested that we need to focus on what's best for the people.

"Governments at all levels have taken too much power from people," he said.

Senator Bartlett argued that the main problem is that the various governments are mainly concerned with keeping themselves in government.

He said that local government needs to be strengthened, and wondered whether the states should be scrapped, an idea that other speakers touched upon.

"Where are the public in all of this?" he asked.

"The process is meant to be about serving the people - this has been absent from both sides of the argument."

The Honourable Justice Ian Callinan AC (who will retire this Friday) presented a High Court Perspective to the discussion, although he made it clear that his views were personal and not given in his Judicial capacity.

He said that the march of history has exercised a gravitational pull on decisions and general attitudes of the courts over the years.

"There are inevitably demarcation disputes in the nature of human affairs and democracy itself," he said.

"In different periods and different circumstances, the lines will be drawn in different places."

Justice Callinan suggested introducing a convention that allowed for a referendum if three states agreed on a proposed question for constitutional change.

This would "test the mettle of the states," he said.

Justice Callinan noted that Australians are "very conservative" about constitutional change, but not altogether averse to it.

Professor John Quiggin, an Australian Research Council Federation Fellow, likened the relationship between the commonwealth and the states to a dysfunctional marriage - Mum is not always the best economic manager, and Dad gives Mum a hard time about the housekeeping money.

"Mostly it works," he said.

"But every now and then, Mum starts complaining, so Dad says 'Well why don't you get a job?'"

Professor Quiggin, suggesting that the relationship needed some counselling, said that the solution lies in stopping them getting in the way of each other.

He related that every time he goes overseas, he has to write a report about it for the state government (because, even though higher education is effectively a Commonwealth controlled area, Constitutionally it still falls under state control) and suggested that "perhaps we could divide up the jobs between Mum and Dad a bit better".

Mr Jim Soorley, the former Lord Mayor of Brisbane began by quipping that "I have been debating this for 20 years, and am happy you have caught up."

He attributed the current equine flu outbreak - "an incredible stuff up" - to the incompetence of the federal government's quarantine system.

Mr Soorley made reference to a development application, which, after being approved by the Brisbane City Council and the State authority, was referred to the federal government and eventually took 2 years to be approved. In the meantime, the price of the housing "went up double".

Mr Soorley said Australia was "desperate" for infrastructure around our cities, roads and export facilities.

"Get rid of the states," he suggested.

He opined that Australia wastes $20 billion in federal and state duplication.

Professor Charles Sampford, Director of the Institute for Ethics, Governance and Law said that there has been a "remarkable shift" in that what was intended to be a weak constitution. It is now one of the world's strongest. He explained that the arrangments we have in Australia would be "unacceptable" in Europe and the U.S., and "revolutionary" in Canada.

He said that compared to other countries, Australia has a homogeneous culture (an outcome of our historical development) which explains why when the federal government offers a solution to a problem, there is never much dissension.

Professor Sampford argued that power should move in both directions.

He explained the European concept of subsidiarity - which relegates decisions to the lowest practical local level, and sometimes, such as Defence, that is the Federal level - and argued that in Australia (over the last 20 or so years) too much power has moved to Canberra.

"If we don't address this, there will be just one government in this country," he said, adding that both major political parties have centralising tendencies.

"It won't matter if we have labor or liberal - it will be one government," he said.

The Socratic Forum was chaired by Professor Paula Baron, Dean of Law, Griffith University, and is supported by the Key Centre for Ethics, Law, Justice and Governance; Institute for Ethics, Governance and Law (a joint initiative of the UN University, Griffith, QUT and ANU); and the Australian Research Council Governance Research Network (GovNet).

Saudi Billionaire Prince Visits Australia, Apparently, - Nobody Notices

The following is an extract from the 'Pacific Magazine' website [27/8/07]:

"Saudi Arabian billionaire Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud did a 15-minute tour of Port Moresby on Saturday night before flying out of Papua New Guinea after a 90-minute stopover.

Prince Al-Waleed and wife Princess Ameerah flew into Port Moresby on their private Boeing 747-400 on Saturday evening and briefly met PNG Prime Minister Sir Michael Somare.

Sir Michael exchanged pleasantries with the prince and his wife before they were taken on a 15-minute tour of Port Moresby by Foreign Minister Paul Tiensten.

Speaking to reporters at the Jacksons International Airport after the couple's departure, Sir Michael said the prince seemed to be well versed about PNG affairs and was particularly interested in PNG's ties with Australia."

The 'National' from Port Moresby also noted the fleeting visit. 'Pacific's' story noted that:

"The prince was on his way to Tokyo, Japan from Australia and personally made a request to the PNG government that he make a brief stopover in Port Moresby to meet Sir Michael."

Extensive searching for any local mention of this illustrious figure's visit to our fair shores turned up nothing. Seems surprising given that the billionaire Prince mostly has tourism and hospitality, real estate and a few resource interests in his "Kingdom Holdings" which has just listed an IPO.

From the local PNG coverage, it seems that Sir Michael Somare only met with the Prince at the airport as he was departing.

Mr Tiensten is very heavily involved in PNG's fossil fuel resources and gold as well as quite a force in the South Pacific region it seems. Seems the Prince bumped into just the right man at Jackson airport.

We'll keep trying to find out what his Highness did while in good old Oz.

Brisbane's Mr Buzzy

"Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love"

(Composed by Herb Newman/Barrington Stuart, from the 1965 album of the same name, a worldwide hit for Jewel Akens)

As our small lavender bushes are presently in glorious full bloom, we've been very lucky to have a few bees buzzing about our inner city abode.

Everyone knows that as busy pollinators, bees perform a vital role, but Professor Srinivasan's lecture at City Hall last night [27/8/07] offered additional insight into just how how incredible these little creatures are.

In a fascinating presentation titled 'Small Brains, Smart Minds: Vision, Navigation, and 'Cognition' In Honeybees and Application To Robotics', Professor Mandyam V. Srinivasan spoke about the peculiarities of insect vision, and the opportunities for incorporating insect-inspired principles into the design of innovative, autonomous robots.

Professor Srinivasan's said that insects see the world in 3D and rely heavily on image motion cues for navigation. Bees negotiate narrow gaps by balancing the image velocities in their two eyes.

His research, and that of his colleagues, involved coaxing bees to travel through an All Weather Bee Flight Facilty (A.W.B.F.F.), as well as measuring how a bee performs a smooth landing on a horizontal surface.

One of the most interesting aspects of Professor Srinivasan's lecture was his explanation of the bee "waggle dance".

The "waggle dance" is a codified set of movements performed by female bees (who do the foraging) when they return to the hive, to relay to the other bees an intricate series of directions to a food source. Their 'dance' relies on the number of 'waggles' and the angle off the vertical, to tell the other bees the direction, and distance, of the source of food. There are other fascinating details involved in this passing of information too numerous to cover here, but it really is mind-blowing. The scientific methods used in the research were remarkable, but the practical results are even more astonishing.

This research into visual perception has far reaching applications in machine vision and robotics. Unfortunately, it seems that the most likely uses will be for military purposes (i.e. killing people). Of course, the bees weren't asked about this before they participated in the experiments. As you will be aware, bees go "BZZZZZZZZZZZZ", which could mean anything!

Professor Srinivasan is Professor of Visual Neuroscience at the Queensland Brain Insitute of the University of Queensland.

His lecture was presented by BrisScience. See: www.BrisScience.org for details.

Central Moves North

The Electoral Commission of Queensland has released the Final Determination Report on the redivision of Electoral Wards for Brisbane.

Inner city residents may be interested in the following changes to Electoral Wards and their boundaries, as determined by the Local Government and Boundaries Review Commission:

Central Ward will expand northward over the inner city bypass to Days Road and Maygar Street to gain part of the suburb of Kelvin Grove (east of Kelvin Grove Road), the entire suburbs of Herston and Wilston, and part of the suburbs of Windsor and Grange from the existing Ward of Grange. Parts of the suburbs of Milton, Paddington, Red Hill, Kelvin Grove, and the City west of Kelvin Grove Road and Countess Street are to be transferred to the Electoral Ward of Toowong.

A new Ward - The Gabba - has been created through the division of the existing Ward of East Brisbane. The Gabba will take in the suburbs of South Brisbane, Highgate Hill, Dutton Park, West End and part of Woolloongabba from the existing Ward of Dutton Park, and the suburbs of Woolloongabba, Kangaroo Point and East Brisbane from the existing Ward of East Brisbane.

Chapter Two of the Report - 'Formulation of the Commission's Determination' - states that the Commission calculated a quota of 24,610 for each Ward based on enrolment data as at 16 April, 2007. This quota acts as a guide to considering electoral boundaries, but the Act allows a discretion to apply of margin of tolerance up to 10% above or below the quota.

No submissions were received in relation to the Commission's proposed boundaries for either Central or The Gabba Wards, but 14 written suggestions were regarding the other Electoral Wards. Many of the submissions related to the Electoral Ward of Moorooka, and were from community leaders expressing a desire to retain the current Ward boundaries. The Commission's proposed determination for Moorooka expands the Ward's boundaries to include the suburb of Acacia Ridge and the entire suburbs of Tarragindi, Moorooka, Salisbury, Nathan and Archerfield.

The State Director of the Liberal Party lodged a comprehensive submission which proposed that Marchant Ward be abolished and that a new Ward of Calamvale be created in the south of the city. The State Secretary of the ALP lodged a submission which expressed a desire to preserve existing Ward boundaries, but acknowledged the necessity of creating a new Ward on the south side of the Brisbane River, which they said should be named Corinda. The submission explained that in order to achieve this, the ALP suggested the Ward of Toowong be abolished.

The Local Government and Boundaries Review Commission comprises the Honourable Alan Demack (Chairperson), Mr David Kerslake (Electoral Commissioner For Queensland) and Ms Fiona McKersie ESM (Director General, Department of Emergency Services).

You can find out more about the electoral redistribution on the website for the Electoral Commission of Queensland:

http://www.ecq.qld.gov.au/asp/index.asp

Hot Under The Collar At Griffith University

A few hundred Brisbaneites (and a couple of polar bears) filled the Conservatorium Theatre this morning [26/8/07] to hear the Minister for the Environment and Water Resources, Malcolm Turnbull, and the Shadow Minister for Climate Change, Environment, Heritage and the Arts, Peter Garrett, debate climate change.

Bruce Page from Channel Nine was Master of Ceremonies for this public forum which included a panel with Brian Stewart from the Urban Development Institute of Australia, Greg Vaughan from the World Wildlife Fund and Peter Elliot from URS.

Malcolm Turnbull won the toss, and began the debate by stating that human industrial activity is responsible for, and discussing the enormous challenge presented by, global warming. He suggested that by mid-century the world must derive all or most of its energy from zero emission sources, which would require a "technological and industrial transformation equivalent to the industrial revolution."

He referred to the construction of the world's largest solar power plant in Mildura as he spoke about Australia being a world leader in renewable energy.

Laughter erupted throughout the audience.

He said that the international arrangements relating to the Kyoto Protocol promote deforestation.

"What about Tasmania?" An audience member yelled.

Mr Turnbull said that Australia is acting on CO2 abatement and that when it comes to energy efficiency, we are leading the world, not lagging."

"You're deluded!" An audience member cried out.

Peter Garrett said that climate change is the greatest challenge we face. He said that a Rudd Labor Government would increase mandatory renewable energy targets and ratify the Kyoto Protocol.

"We have a vision for Australia to be a clean energy hub," he said.

Mr Garrett set a target of 60% less emissions by 2050. He also said that a Labor Government would establish a national climate change office and provide $150 million to our pacific neighbours.

Managing Editor of the 'Sunday Mail', Ms Anna Reynolds fielded questions from the panel and the audience, beginning with a question from Mr Bourne asking how each party would stabilize emissions.

Mr Turnbull said that climate change is a big economic challenge, which will involve competency and capability.

"Well intentioned policies can have adverse results," he said.

He referred to the Queensland Government's cancellation of the Wolfdene Dam in the late 1980s, and the mere six pages devoted to water in the South East Queensland Regional Plan.

He also referred to a 2004 article in 'The Age' where Mr Garrett had said that economic growth is almost always accompanied by environmental degradation.

"Answer the question!" yelled an audience member, and Ms Reynolds pointed out that water strategy is covered in another Queensland Government "Plan".

Mr Turnbull went on to say that South East Queensland needs a range of measures to counteract emissions including sustainable transport. He said the state governments need to invest in transport.

Mt Garrett said that there needs to be a target, and a structured emissions trading scheme.

"Our aim is to do this very quickly," he said.

The debate then moved on to housing affordability - always a popular topic for the 'Courier-Mail'.

Mr Garrett said that the Labor Party plan is to offer a $10,000 low interest loan for homes incorporating solar hot water systems (although it will not be compulsory for home owners to give up your electric hot water system if they don't want to).

Mr Turnbull said that the challenge to housing affordability is the increasing costs of land, which are related to constraints in supply.

He argued that our cities need to release more land, and that changes to zoning in particular areas would be necessary.

"A key point is improving transport infrastructure," he said.

Ms Reynolds asked Mr Turnbull whether this applied to an investment in roads or public transport.

"One of the problems with our federation is working out who is responsible for what," Mr Turnbull replied.

"The neglect of public transport in our cities is a public disgrace," he said.

Although Mr Garrett said that a Rudd Government would set up an "infrastructure audit" within 100 days of being elected, and would undertake a nationwide audit of all infrastructure, he didn't explicitly say "Public Transport".

At this point, an audience member asked a question about nuclear power.

Mr Turnbull said that nuclear energy forms part of the solution to climate change.

"We cannot responsibly take it off the agenda," he said.

He said that nuclear power would have to be environmentally safe, stack up economically and have the support of the community in which it's located.

Mr Garrett said that energy needs should be met through other possible sources.

"We don't have to produce energy that produces toxic waste at the same time."

"I have great faith in Australia's ability to innovate," he said.

Mr Turnbull repeatedly asked Mr Garrett what he would do if alternative energies or "clean coal" failed to provide base load power.

Mr Garrett responded by quizzing Mr Turnbull why Australia is so far behind other countries in developing alternative and renewable energy, and why some of our renewable energy companies have gone overseas.

Citing 'Australian exports', Mr Turnbull said, "For the same reason Peter Garrett used to sell vinyl records overseas."

Suggesting that the loss of Australian technological ingenuity in these fields to other countries was an export, he also suggested that Rupert Murdoch moved his company to the U.S. for the same reasons.

A couple of youngsters in the audience, one of whom had been at a school visited by Mr Turnbull last week, asked questions about the humanitarian impact of climate change, and how we can prepare ourselves for an event such as Hurricane Katrina.

Mr Garrett mentioned the Labor Party's proposed Centre for Climate Change Adaptation, while Mr Turnbull suggested we map the entire coastline of Australia.

An audience member yelled, "Captain Cook did that!" (A very amusing interjection, even if the navigator who did map Australia's coastline was Matthew Flinders!)

Question of the day went to Greens Senate Candidate for Queensland, Ms Larissa Waters who asked why $6 billion of government subsidies goes to fossil fuel companies, when clean coal technology hasn't been proven.

Mr Turnbull said, "I'm in favour of the coal industry - Australia's coal is the cheapest and most prolific source of base load power in the world."

"It's a fairytale!" yelled an audience member.

"Let the coal companies pay for it - not the taxpayers!" yelled another.

Mr Garrett said, "We see it as necessary to have substantial support and investment in renewable energy."

Following a number of questions, Ms Reynolds asked about the Gunns pulp mill in Tasmania.

Mr Turnbull said, "I have not made a decision to approve the Gunns Mill. I have opened this matter up for a third round of public consultation."

He went on to explain that as the Environment Minister, it was not for him to tell Gunns where to put their pulp mill. By this stage, it was clear that most of the audience had very firm ideas of where Gunns and the Tasmanian Labor government should put their pulp mill!

Mr Garrett said that he was in favour of downstream processing, as long as it meets environmental credentials.

Various audience members yelled, "Sellout!" and "Shame Labor Shame!"

The final question of the day, as to whether the proposed Traveston Dam would go ahead, was put to Mr Turnbull and Mr Garrett by Brisbane's best known television journalist and identity, Mr Bruce Page.

Mr Turnbull said, "I will have to assess this in my capacity as the Environment Minister."

He said he was unconvinced at the proposed mix of water infrastructure, which has been proposed for South East Queensland.

"Building things at a breakneck speed leads to increased costs," he said.

He suggested that we need to look forward, and cited examples such as the Howard Government's Murray Darling plan (strangely, as an example of forward planning juxtaposed against hurried and politically expedient policy on the run).

"Don't sacrifice Stradbroke Island!" Yelled an audience member, referring to a plan to suck more water from the island to stick into the SEQ 'water grid'.

Mr Garrett said that he would look "very closely" at the Environmental Impact Statement of the proposed Traveston Dam.

The Chancellor of Griffith University, Ms Leneen Forde gave a vote of thanks to the participants.

She suggested the forum had been as hot as Griffith University's red corporate colours, which form the backdrop to the Conservatorium stage.

"As Henry the VIII said to most of his wives, we won't keep you any longer," she quipped.

Today's forum, which is part of the "Our Future/Your Say" series, was presented by the Brisbane Institute, Channel Nine, Griffith University and the 'Courier-Mail'.

Although very entertaining, don't expect any great social change to emanate from this series of debates, which focus on climate change, housing, sustainability, public transport, car use and preserving the essence of our town.

Politicians and academics participate in these events because they always capitulate to the power News Ltd wield.

Up until Al Gore's visit to Australia last year, News Ltd. didn't believe in global warming. Evidently the 'Courier-Mail' has now decided it's better to control the debate by being part of it, rather than continuing its unsuccessful attempts to shut it down.

Do you really think the folks up at Bowen Hills care about anything other than increasing their advertising revenue and vice-like grip on public opinion?

Majella Mafe's 'Cone Of Books' - Brisbane Square Library

Eat Less Meat, Use Public Transport and Vote Down The Government - Brisbane Walks Against Warming

You might need a magnifying glass, but this is a photo of Senator Bob Brown onstage at Brisbane's 'Walk Against Warming'

"Come in all you jesters,
Enter all you fools,
Sit down no-nos,
Vulgar fools,
Trip the light fantastic,
Dance the swivel hips,
Coming to conclusions,
Button up your lips,

Walking, walking,
In the rain."

(Composed by Harry Vanda/George Young, and performed by Grace Jones on the 1985 album 'Island Life')

A few hundred Brisbane folk joined their fellow Australians and braved the rainy weather to walk against global warming this afternoon [25/8/07].

The marchers strolled from Queens Park in the CBD to the Riverstage in the City Botanic Gardens, where they were entertained by musicians and heard speakers including Senator Bob Brown and Senator Andrew Bartlett.

A couple of bodyrolling youngsters made the most of the grassy knoll that slopes toward the riverstage, while two gigantic puppy dogs, and a huge white elephant -representing nuclear power (complete with a green poop) - created quite a stir.

Senator Brown said that the Greens would use the leverage, if elected, to responsibly put a hand on a Rudd government.

"We're on the move. This is a climate change election," he said.

"People who vote for this government are not voting for our grandchildren or the creatures of this earth."

Senator Bartlett said, "We need change and we need it now. That's the message we need to leave here today with."

Senator Bartlett stressed the importance of reclaiming the senate for the people.

Jerry Coleby-Williams from Queensland Conservation asked both Senators what they would suggest people could do right now to make a difference.

Senator Bartlett said, "Eat less meat and use public transport." (Senator Bartlett is looking trim, taut and terrific since his Senate launch a couple of months ago).

Senator Brown said, "The most pleasurable thing we can do is vote down the government." This was greeted by an almost unanimous cheer from the crowd.

It's nice to see political parties getting along isn't it? In fact, a former Labor premier and a current federal Liberal member (who didn't attend today's walk against warming) were observed in the vicinity hopping into a limo outside Augustines on George Street after lunchtime today, just as the procession had passed by. It seemed as though a sole journalist with camera in tow was getting a soundbite of the very chummy, smiling pair. Hmmmm, what's cooking?

Can you guess who it was? I'll give you a hint - one's proven to be rather elusive to his constituents, while the other is a business consultant to a Mcmegabank whose shares took a hit during the recent stockmarket hiccup.

In related news, no-one went to the races today and ABC News reports that more than $100 million in gambling revenue has been lost.

Gee. Or should I say Gee Gee!

What's Going On With The Street Lights In Wickham Terrace And Albert Street?

Wickham Terrace last night [24/8/07]

At the dark end of the street
That is where we always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
Living in darkness, to hide alone

'Dark End Of The Street', Dan Penn, Chips Moman (1967), Performed by The Commitments, (1991)

This evening [24/8/07], as with many other evenings over the past few months, the street lights from Wickham Terrace heading down to the city toward Albert Street have been switched off.

This is very dangerous to pedestrians and motorists alike, particularly at the already treacherous intersection of Wickham Terrace, North and Leichhardt Streets.

Many Spring Hill residents work in the CBD and follow this route up the hill of an evening as they make their way home.

Visitors to the CBD who had parked in Albert Street were observed using their mobile phones as torches to try and read the parking meter screens.

The regular Friday evening BBQ in Wickham Park made do with ambient light from nearby hotels and hospitals along the Windmill end of Wickham Terrace.

The author of this story has contacted Energex to advise them of the problem.

And in unrelated news, the leader of our wide brown land said today that a silly old pouting, prissy, parrot, who is for some reason still allowed access to a prime time microphone, should be water cannoned during A.P.E.C.

Creek Street Craving

When you're a newshound doing the police rounds, it pays to keep a close eye on media releases to beat the intrepid News Ltd. pack to the important crime scoops.

Police report:

"Police are looking for a man after a shop attendant was attacked in Creek Street this morning [24/8/07]. Around 1.30am three males entered the 7 Eleven Convenience Store on Creek Street, Brisbane. One man approached the counter and removed a jar before leaving the store. The attendant followed the man down the street and asked him several times to give back the jar. The man hit the attendant. The two men who had been accompanying the man helped the attendant back to the store and returned the jar. The offender returned to the store and all three men left towards the riverside. The man is described as a Caucasian in appearance, around 20-years-old and had black hair. He was wearing a tan long sleeve jumper, blue jeans and white sports shoes. The 21-year-old attendant received bruising and damage to a tooth in the incident."

Thoroughbred Budgie Flu Fears

A rare strain of budgie flu has led to the quarantine of thoroughbred Budgies from overseas who were set to participate this year's Chirp It On Up Tweety Cup in November.

"We've particularly focussed on Budgies from Japan," said the Head of the Budgie Racing Authority (B.R.A.) Mr Chirp.

"But only because we're still pissed off about that Japanese budgie - Iflyhigh - winning the Cup last year."

Some of the budgies who were destined for budgie studs expressed relief at the possibility of being sent home.

"Tweet, tweet, tweet," said world champion Bluey.

"All I really want is to fly around and be free."

But Mr Chirp remains suspicious.

"Look, these international budgies are nothing more than budgie smugglers," he said.

In related news, the Australians Really Should Exist for Consuming (A.R.S.E.C) and the money man said that anyone protesting against big business, especially if the actions target practices involving animal cruelty, should be severely punished.

"What is wrong with these hippies?" he asked.

"Don't they know it's unaustralian to speak out against cruelty and injustice?"

Show support for Mary River with “Save the Mary” September - Media Release From Save The Mary River Coordinating Group [22/8/07]

A new campaign will be rolled out this September and everyone is asked to be a part of it to show support for the embattled Mary River.

Driving with your lights on, wearing yellow and tying a balloon at your front gate are all ways for you to help “Save the Mary” and get behind the dam opponents in the Mary Valley.

The Save the Mary River Coordinating Group wants next month to be “Save the Mary” September, by making the four Mondays in the month “special” days.

Organisers hope to widen awareness for the Mary River, which is the lifeblood of communities of animals and people from Conondale to Hervey Bay and into the Great Sandy Straits.

A familiar slogan used by the campaigners is: “We need the Mary – not another Murray!”

The timeline:
Monday, September 3: Lights on day - drive with your lights on for Mary (but please remember to turn them off when you park!)
Monday, September 10: Tie a balloon day - tie balloons on your fences, gates and posts around town and even write “no dam” slogans or “FUBT” on them (but please remember not to litter and pick them up the next day!)
Monday, September 17: Wear gold day – any way you can - a gold shirt, a gold ribbon, jewellery … wear it, put it on your car, whatever!
Monday, September 24: Jackpot day – do all of the above!

Other suggestions to help with the campaign include putting a sign on your car to encourage others to drive with their lights on, or supplying balloons through your business, or to your neighbours and friends.

Organisers want to see everyone do their best to publicise the special month and be a part of the continuing campaign against the proposed Traveston Crossing Dam.

Censorship At The Byron Bay Writers Festival?

Here is a 71 year old's story, and perspective, on the state of our current government and media (not to mention our "cultural" institutions):

http://webdiary.com.au/cms/?q=node/1992

Who's Afraid Of The ABCC?

As a result of the 2001 Cole Royal Commission into the construction industry, the Australian Building and Construction Commission (ABCC) was established in October 2005.

Word around Brisbane town's industrial relations practitioners is that the ABCC are bullies. Apparently the ABCC regularly throw their weight around, and do not hesitate to remind judges of the ABCC's extensive powers. It seems that they are ruthlessly applying the enormous powers that have been given to them by the Howard Government.

Simply put, the normal rules of law do not apply to the ABCC.

An example of cases instigated by the ABCC is Hadgkiss v Sunland Constructions and Ors.

In this case, the Federal Court in Brisbane ordered the CFMEU and the CFMEU Queensland to pay penalties of $6,000 and $3,000 respectively for making false and misleading statements to three employees at a Gold Coast spray paint shop about their obligation to join the union.

The unions were found to have contravened the freedom of association provisions of the Workplace Relations Act (1996). The union delegate who told the workers they could not work for Sunland Constructions Pty Ltd unless they joined the unions, was ordered to pay a penalty of $300.

Justice Keifel (who has recently been appointed to the High Court) also made compensation orders against both unions requiring them to pay two of the employees $200 each and the other employee the sum of $50. These amounts represent a refund for union membership fees that they had been forced to pay.

A penalty of $1,000 was imposed on a mid-level Manager at Sunland, and penalties of $3,000 and $12,000 imposed on Sunland respectively.

In a speech to the National Press Club in May this year, Labor's Industrial Relations Spokeswoman Julia Gillard announced that Labor would retain the ABCC, until 2010.

'Constructing Fear' - a documentary which 'explains the evolution and implementation of the Howard government's Building Construction Industry Improvement Act' - is currently screening around Australia.

The film is directed by Melbourne filmmaker Joe Loh who says,

"My father was a builder's labourer. When he as twenty-five, a half-finished brick wall collapsed, breaking his best friend's back. After that he became an active unionist. Things have improved greatly in building site safty in the thirty years since, but the industry remains extremely dangerous. I'll never forget the day Dad came home from work weeping and screaming: a 19 year old apprentice had been crushed to death before his eyes. In Dad's words, 'we scraped him up into a bucket.' I was 17 at the time, and I'm sure it was not lost on my father that it could have been me. The accident was proven to be a result of employer negligence, the boss hadn't listened to my father and others who'd pointed out the specific threat posed by the concrete dome panel."

'Constructing Fear' is the untold story of the impact of the Howard Government's building industry changes on ordinary Australian workers. It is a story of people being singled out, stripped of their rights and intimidated for being active members of a union.

What makes it so compelling is the bravery of the few people who've dared to fight back. It is to these people that the story belongs, people who've decided to stand up to the powerful. This is a film that raises fundamental questions about the status of Australia as a free and democratic country.

The Queensland Constructions Workers Divisional Branch of the CFMEU will be holding a Brisbane screening of 'Constructing Fear' on Wednesday 19 September from 6.00 pm, at the University of Queensland.

Check the 'Constructing Fear' website for details:

http://www.constructingfear.com/

We Will Turn Your Taps Off: Citizens Told

Brisbane residents who use one more drop of water than they are supposed to, will face visits by officious fascist enablers who will turn off their taps.

Under the laws, which are to be introduced in October, new business premises will be required to connect a water tank, but other than that, they can continue using as much water as they like.

"Yes, it's a tokenistic gesture," said Second In Charge, Ms Anydaynow.

"The idea is to make private citizens feel like criminals, despite the fact that it is big business and developers who are using most of the water."

When asked what the waterwasters would do when their taps were turned off, Ms Anydaynow said, "They can drink Coca-Cola and bathe in the Spring Hill Baths for all I care."

In related news, the Head of City Hall said he supported Ms Anydaynow and encouraged people to dob in fellow citizens for anything at all.

"My vision for this city is to create an environment that is as unwelcoming as the Brisbane Square Library," he said.

"You know, an overkill of grumpy security guards patrolling the place making people feel uncomfortable in a public place."

Poll Shock: Opposition Man Cavorted With News Ltd Back in 2003

It has been revealed today that the Opposition Man cavorted with another opposition person and the editor of a sleazy tabloid in New York back in 2003.

The Opposition Man issued a statement today confirming he had been cavorting with News Ltd. for years.

"What's the problem? Every successful politician in Australia prostitutes themselves to Rupert. It's the only way to be one of the boys," he said.

The Federal Money Man said that no-one from News Ltd had invited him to go cavorting when he was in New York.

This might explain his current career difficulties.

In related news, a News Ltd journalist, famous for his alcoholic outburst, said the Opposition Man went to a strip club one night.

Everybody in Australia went, "Der, aren't all politicians sleazy, sexist, hypocrits?"

The Queensland Leader said, "I'm sexist too. Good on you."

The national broadcaster has launched a survey inviting all politicians to indicate whether or not they have cavorted with News Ltd.

Unfortunately the Australian populace is too distracted by the faux scandal to worry about the real issue, which is, why an American controls Australia's news.

Galaxy Poll shows support for free Public Transport Trial: Media Release from Senator Kerry Nettle, 16th Aug 07

A Galaxy Poll released by the Greens shows that over two thirds of Australians support a trial of free public transport, Greens Senator for NSW Kerry Nettle, said today.

“This poll clearly demonstrates that Australians want their government to provide free public transport and why wouldn’t they?

“If we are serious about tackling climate change we need to encourage public transport use, starting with providing solid services and, in the longer term, looking to make trains, buses and ferries free.

“International research shows that car use decreases when public transport is made free.

"Experiments with the free public transport during events such as the Sydney Olympics and Melbourne's Commonwealth Games as well as New Years celebrations in some capitals show it could work."

'The Federal government cannot say this is just a problem for the States - we need all levels of government to work together to boost participation in public transport to mitigate the effects of climate change.

“If the federal government can contribute hospital funding in Northern Tasmania and plebiscites on council amalgamations in Queensland, they can fund free buses and trains in Sydney.

“A Howard or Rudd Government should not cry poor. The Government coffers are awash with a $10 billion dollar surplus this year alone.

“The Greens are calling on the government to set up large scale free public transport trials, avoiding the pitfalls of short term, small-scale trials, to set us on the path towards shifting out of our cars and onto buses, trains and ferries. " Senator Nettle said.

Woman's Mag Penalized

Unpopular woman's magazine 'Manpleaza' has been fined by the White Men Rule The World Bureau (W.M.R.T.W.B.) for running a competition where readers can send in a photo of their partners' "tiny peckers" to win them a penis enlargement operation.

The W.M.R.T.W.B. fined 'Manpleaza' $10,000 for objectifying men and making them feel inadequate.

Spokesman for the W.M.R.T.W.B. Mr Misogynist said, "Men should always be made to feel good about themselves, no matter what size or shape their bodies are. In an ideal world, the witches who run 'Manpleaza', and concocted this competition, would be burned at the stake."

But the Editor of 'Manpleaza', Ms Hotshot remained undeterred by the fine.

"Some of the photos I've seen, I wish we could give all these poor fellows a penis enlargement," she said.

Director of the Centre For Penis Enlargement, Dr Ouch said, "I am glad the media have highlighted this terrible discrimination. The more publicity for this procedure the better."

Celebrations As Inaugural Leafblower Awareness Week Begins

Brisbane residents and owners of leafblowers held a special event in the City Botanic Gardens this morning [13/8/07] to celebrate the inaugural Leafblower Awareness Week.

President of the Keeping Leafblower Owners Well-connected Now Society (K.L.O.W.N.S.), Mr Sal Fcentred gave a passionate speech making it clear that he would not stop agitating for 24/7 leafblower action.

"I say to all those broom wielders who tell us to shut up, you can stick your brooms up your a$se. We will not be silenced!" he said, waving his leafblower in the air.

"Everyone Blow!" he yelled, as the 100 or so attendees kickstarted their blowers, and took to the leaves on paths throughout the gardens creating a series of neat piles.

They then wandered off for a celebratory breakfast at a multinational restaurant chain.

When asked what the point of the activity was, when clearly the leaves would just blow all over the place again, Mr Fcentred said, "Look missy, if we didn't have K.L.O.W.N.S. there would be no economy."

"Many folks who own leafblowers, see them as a symbolic extension of their personality," he added.

"You know, wasteful and noisy."

But that's not the only reason owners like their leafblowers. When asked why she liked her leafblower so much, one owner said, "There is nothing like blowing all the leaves and dust that accumulate in your yard into the neighbour's yard."

"Brooms are so yesterday," her friend added.

Brisbane residents are invited to join a synchronised "blow off" at 6 am this Sunday morning.

"Nuke West End": Former Man Of The Cloth Speaks Out

Ground Zero Vision for West End: The Pauls factory is set to be redeveloped into yet another "bohemian" enclave for clueless rich wankers

Former head of City Hall and one-time man of the cloth, Mr Sore-Loser says the Brisbane suburb of West End has got to go.

"It's the only suburb left with any character," he said.

"It's welcoming and full of life, and although the Hale Street freeway will certainly enhance the suburb, let's just nuke the place and be done with it."

But unlike other inner suburbs in Brisbane, Mr Sore-Loser says West End should not be overrun by all greedy developers and yuppies.

"Just the ones who are my mates," he said.

"As with many of my comrades during those terrible dark days under the hill billy dictator, I have become incredibly self centred, have nothing useful to say and feel irrelevant."

Queensland Law Enforcement Officers March Because, Well, They Can

Thousands of Queensland law enforcement officers have descended on Brisbane's CBD today [12/8/07] to protest absolutely everything.

"No-one cares about anything anymore," said Superintendent Imincharge.

"We felt compelled to march because we are worried that Queenslanders have lost any desire to participate in the political process."

Supt. Imincharge reminisced about the "good old days", when folks would march, even though they weren't allowed to.

"We just want to show all the ratbags and hippies how it's done," he said.

The Police were going to present the Premier with a petition, but he wasn't at Parliament House because it is Sunday.

The march concluded with a big party in the parklands, so if you feel like breaking any laws, today might be the day to do it!

Iraq War Veteran Speaks At St Marys

"And in my heart, the chains falling apart
The wildness in my soul
And for once in life, for once in life I know

I'm not alone, for the mountains make our bones
With the oceans in our blood
Our feet planted, planted firmly in the mud"

From 'A Drop Of Water', Dana Lyons, 1991

These words echoed throughout St Marys,West End this afternoon [11/8/07], as a young woman sang to the large gathering who had amassed to hear Iraq war veteran Mr Matt Howard speak.

Mr Howard, who served as a Corporal in the US Marine Corps, and is now an activist with Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW), was involved in the initial invasion of Iraq in March 2003. He made it clear at the outset that it is a mistake to say that if we had done it right, it would have been ok.

"That is not the case," he said.

"The tone was set at the outset."

Mr Howard drove a supply truck which carried food, water and equipment for tanks and palettes of humanitarian rations. When he crossed the border from Kuwait into Iraq, he saw hungry children lining the streets. He opened the rations and handed them out. His Sergeant confronted him with his M-16 and said, "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He was ordered not to throw one more box of food out to one more starving child. He took the remaining rations all the way to Baghdad, and back again to Kuwait, without delivering one more ration to starving people. When he asked his Commanding Officer, in Kuwait, what he should do with the food, he was ordered to "F*cking bury it." He buried it.

Howard's Commander explained that he didn't want Iraqis to get the "wrong impression about why we were there".

"It was like that the whole way to Baghdad," said Mr Howard.

"We just destroyed the place for the hell of it."

A year after the invasion, Mr Howard said the situation in Iraq was "infinitely worse", with no electricity (the whole country running on generators for only a few hours a day), no sewerage, and hospitals becoming morgues.

"We were told Iraq was a third world country, but we turned it into a third world country."

Mr Howard said that the war in Iraq is not going to end through a political process and that the only way it will end is if the soldiers "put down their weapons and say no".

"The Democrats are not going to end the war. Since they've taken power, they continue to give Bush all the funding he asks for," he said.

Mr Howard pointed out the inconsistencies of contractors being paid $300,000 a year as opposed to US soldiers, who are receiving $20,000. (He later said that there are as many contractors in Iraq as US troops, and that contractors are "acting like cowboys", shooting people in broad daylight in the middle of the street).

And, when the only mission for US troops is to drive around in a Humvee all day waiting to be blown up by an IED.

"Without that, we don't have a mission to be there," he said. "We are told that our mission is 'Troop Protection' but that is no mission at all."

Mr Howard was joined by Mr Hamish Chitts, a former Australian infantry soldier who served in East Timor (1999-2000), and in the intelligence services.

Mr Chitts said that at the time of Former Secretary of State Colin Powell's presentation to the UN about Iraq's alleged weapons of mass destruction, "We knew it was a farce."

Mr Chitts said that he and his colleagues exchanged joke e-mails parodying the WMD presentation, until their superiors clamped down.

"It was obvious. Everyone knew there were no WMDs," he said.

Having decided he didn't want to participate or risk his life for big buisness, Mr Chitts put in his discharge.

He went on to say that in his experience, no-one who sees active service comes back the same, and that soldiers are suffering three times as much post traumatic stress disorder as those who served in the Vietnam war.

"We are told we fight for freedom and democracy, but this couldn't be further from the truth," he said.

During the question and answer session, a gentleman in the audience who said he worked in the oil and gas industry asked, "What is the true reason for the American nation making this huge investment in occupying Iraq?"

"To truly understand this war you have to understand energy," he said.

Mr Howard said, "Everyone is dreaming if they think the US will ever get out of Iraq."

He explained that 'Operation Crown Jewel' (to secure the Ramadi oil field) was very explicitly his battalion's first objective when they invaded Iraq in 2003, which they accomplished.

And as for the troubles between the Shias and the Sunnis?

"Sectarian violence is being fuelled by our presence," said Mr Howard. He was quite clear that CIA "Black-Ops" were at work, and pointed out that these two groups had happily co-existed, side by side, for 1,400 years before the invasion.

He expressed empathy for the Iraqis resisting the occupation.

"What the hell would you do if people invaded your country? There's no way Americans would stand for an occupying presence," he said.

Mr Howard said that he understands what the Iraqi resistance are fighting for, and explained that his own progression from warrior to peace activist had been difficult.

"Violence begets violence," he said.

EKKA Mired In Condom Controversy

The first few days of the EKKA have been mired in controversy over the decision to provide condoms to amorous looking couples as they pass through the front gate.

A Health Department official said there had been a noticeable increase in the number of over-amorous couples on the ferris wheel and the chair lift over the past few years.

"We just want to make sure they use protection while they're up there," she said.

"We're also providing them with one of those "four minute shower" eggtimers," she said.

"That way they'll know when they're about to reach the end of their ride."

The Health Department have enlisted the assistance of a number of dagwood dogs stalls, where EKKA visitors can learn how to use a condom.

But an opposition health official said that handing out condoms sends the wrong message at the EKKA.

"The EKKA is all about breeding!" he exclaimed,

"Let them go for it!"

Political Leaders Embark On Multi-Faith Extravaganza

Following yesterday's [9/8/07] address to the Onward Christian Soldiers lobby, Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee have today announced they will soon embark on a whirlwind Multi-Faith extravaganza around Australia.

When quizzed on the political and legal doctrine of separation of church and state at a press conference today, Tweedle Dum said, "Thomas who?"

"I'll be honest with you, it's always been beneficial for us to encourage the intolerance and bigotry of happy clappies, but we decided what the hey, why not show all the goddies that we care."

Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee will participate in a series of online presentations and forums in which they pretend to be decent, god-fearing human beings at mosques, synagogues, mormon temples and anglican and catholic churches throughout the country.

"If we've missed anyone out, please let us know," said Tweedle Dee.

"But only religious groups," Tweedle Dum stressed.

We aren't interested in marginalised people."

In related news, Tweedle Dum said that if he was re-elected, he would introduce laws that would make internet pornography even more appealing to spotty faced teenagers raised in strict households.

"Religion is the opium of the masses," he said.

Tweedle Dee agreed. He always agrees.

The Sheriff of Suffolk County Comes To Town

Currently visiting Australia on an Eisenhower Exchange Fellowship, the charismatic Ms Andrea Cabral, who is Sheriff of Suffolk County in Massachusetts, presented an engrossing and informative lecture titled 'The Impact of Penal Policy and the Prison Industry on Social Justice' at QUT last evening [8/8/07].

Ms Cabral suggested that skyrocketing incarceration rates throughout the United States are related to the prevailing "puritanical" and "historical" view that punishment is cleansing. Yet she said that in her experience, people do not emerge from the prison system "chastened and never to offend again."

Raised during the 1960s by a family who encouraged enlightened thinking, Ms Cabral said that the murder of three civil rights workers James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner in Mississippi in 1964, crystalised her desire to work for social justice.

"Terrible things happen when good people do nothing," she said.

As the Assistant District Attorney for Suffolk County, Ms Cabral advocated for domestic violence law reform and within two years had created Massachusetts' first legal education manual on restraining orders and domestic violence. Not an easy task given that when she began, victims of domestic violence would mostly indicate they didn't wish to prosecute, and Judges would often negotiate with the victim to sign a "colloquy" (swearing that they were refusing to testify of their own free will etc).

"The case would then be dismissed because we couldn't make the victim testify," she said.

Ms Cabral expressed concern at the U.S. Federal Government's "lock em up" philosophy, combined with the privatisation of large numbers of prisons.

"It's a level of servitude that the country hasn't seen since the Thirteenth Amendment," she said.

The Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitutions states:

"Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have the power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."

Ms Cabral said that the President and U.S. Administration have found it very effective to make people afraid.

"Fear has been used to take away people's sense of security and give up some of their fundamental rights," she said.

She also presented some startling statistics relating to the inmates at Suffolk County:

It costs US$30,000 per year per inmate,
The average male inmate has a 6th grade reading level and 4th grade math level, and at one stage, the prison held three generations of the one family.

And across the U.S. 70% of women inmates have experienced abuse and/or domestic violence before the age of 17, and people have to wait until they go to prison in order to detox.

Ms Cabral has identified similarities with black prisoners in the U.S. and indigenous prisoners in Australia, in that they both lack the tools and resources to change their situation. She also mentioned that while the U.S. Administration wastes money on the war in Iraq, programs for prisoners have been "gutted".

"The absence of hope creates most of the problem," she said.

During her fellowship, Ms Cabral's intention is to examine the social, economic and cultural motivations for crime and the political impact of criminal laws and policies. She also said she will investigate some of the ways Australia deals with the challenges of crime prevention without the need for incarceration. Which is interesting, because I found her reformist, rather than "discipline and punish" outlook a refreshing antidote to the "lock em up and throw away the key" image of Australia's law enforcement officials and politicians. I guess this illustrates that as with anyone in this country who expresses a desire to make a real difference, the views of earnest and dedicated individuals who work within corrective services are always sidelined by the mainstream media and the departmental hierachy.

Ms Cabral added that she was particularly interested in "restorative justice" as used in some Queensland programs. Unfortunately, Queensland is also in the process of building one of Australia's biggest jails to house about 3000 lucky Queenslanders.

If you're in Brisbane, and interested in these issues, tune to 'Locked In', 6.00 pm Monday evenings on 4ZzZ (102.1 fm). It's a show that plays requests for people on the inside, but the presenters regularly discuss issues relating to the Queensland prison system. I do recall that last year, 'Locked In' ran an excellent series exploring the use of prisoner labour in the U.S.

As Sheriff of Suffolk Country, Ms Cabral manages the largest Sheriff's department in Massachusetts and is responsible for a $102 million budget (she is requesting $137 million for this year), 2,700 inmates, and 1100 security, civilian and management staff.

Ms Cabral's lecture was part of the QUT Faculty of Law and Trilby Misso Lawyers free public lecture series.

Choosing Your Green Energy Provider: Queensland Conservation Media Release

From 1 July 2007, Queensland businesses and households can choose their electricity retailer. According to Queensland Conservation (QCC), one of the essentials everyone should consider when choosing an electricity company is what green energy services and products they offer.

Green energy is electricity from renewable sources like wind or solar.

If you buy 100% accredited greenpower (and QCC believes that is what you should do) it means it comes from new renewable sources.

If you buy greenpower that is 20% or 50% accredited it means that the remaining (non-accredited) green energy is sourced from existing green energy (ie Snowy Mountains Hydro).

Whilst this is better than coal power, it does mean the electricity company is not investing in new green energy, and therefore not reducing Australia’s greenhouse emissions.

In assessing what the best green energy products are, you can folllow this link www.greenelectricitywatch.org.au. Green electricity watch is an independent service - run by the Australian Conservation Foundation, Total Environment Centre and WWF-Australia - which ranks green electricity services.

Of the electricity retailers now in Queensland, two receive the highest ranking from greenelectricitywatch - Origin Energy’s Greenearth Solar/Wind and TRUenergy’s Wind Power.

So how do the electricity companies in Queensland now vying for your custom stack up?

QCC wanted to find out, so we rang up their calls centres and asked them.

QUESTIONS WE ASKED:

Do you offer green energy?

Is it accredited green power energy? How much is it accredited?

What does it cost?

Do you have a contract period? Do you charge for cancellations?

See http://www.qccqld.org.au/media_releases/2007/250707.htm for details.

Note: Origin Energy currently does not offer a 100% accredited greenpower in QLD. Origin has informed QCC that this will be available to all customers by September 2007.

Get Your Furry Friend's Knickers Knacked For National Desexing Month

Well apparently August is National Desexing Month - not for you dear reader - for your furry friend.

Brisbane citizens are being encouraged by local government representatives to do the right thing and get their furry friends fixed.

According to the Brisbane City Council, 5000 stray dogs and cats roam the streets every year and only 15% are desexed.

Evidently 200,000 unwanted dogs and cats are destroyed annually in Australia, and it costs $160 million every year to manage these stray and abandoned animals.

One wonders why some of this $160 million couldn't be funnelled into programs offering free de-sexing for pet owners?

Indeed one also wonders why the federal government doesn't give people who choose NOT to have squeakers a big fat bonus.

Now that's what I call responsible population control!

Minister Takes The Mickey

The Foreign Department have issued a warning to Australians not to travel to Disney Land.

"We have reason to believe that Mickey Mouse spent time in Afghanistan in 2002 and could be a terrorist," said a spokesperson.

"We also suspect that he might be gay."

But a media release from the Preference Deal Party suggests that the warning is good old fashioned scare mongering, and "not surprising" given the Foreign Minister has links to an international right wing organisation that advocates the boycott of all characters with ambivalent sexuality.

"Of course I have links to an international right wing organisation," said the Minister.

"It's my turn to be the fall guy."

The Prime Minister would not be drawn on whether the minister is on the way out.

"The minister is doing a fine job of Australia's reputation throughout the world," he said.

Don't Open Emails Promising Lottery Prizes, Big Dicks, And Funds From African Banks: Authorities Warn

Law enforcement authorities have issued fresh warnings to greedy dumb folks to refrain from opening any emails promising big dicks, prize winnings, or the transferral of millions of dollars from Africa and/or Nigeria into their bank accounts.

Detective Inspector Sharp-Pants said, "Don't open these emails you idiots. How many times do I have to tell you. You will never win, never acquire those millions of dollars, and more importantly, size doesn't matter."

PhD candidate in internet fraud and sexuality at the University of the Dominant Paradigm "Hotbabe69" said, "Detective Sharp-Pants has a point, but unfortunately there are aspects of his warning that I find misleading. Size does matter, so I say to all those pin dicks out there - go ahead - you've got nothing to lose."

Chief Auditor in charge of the Foreign Remittance Unit, African Development Bank, Ouagadoudou Burkina-Faso said, "Can I have your bank account details?"

"Why doesn't anybody take me seriouly?" Detective Sharp-Pants asked.

In an urgent media release issued from Nigeria, Barrister Umbargo said, "I expect your urgent communication and my best regard to you and all members of your family."

In early June, the 'Spring Hill Voice' reported on some changes to inner-city supermarket trading hours.

These changes included an extension to Saturday trading at Coles Myer Centre, Queens Plaza and Woolworths MacArthur Centre until 7 pm, and an earlier 7 am start at Coles Queens Plaza and Woolworths MacArthur Centre. The Supa IGA at Kelvin Grove began trading from 6 am until 9 pm seven days a week. Up until early June, it closed promptly at 5.00 pm on Saturday afternoons, so this was a little gem for inner city residents who suddenly had supermarket shopping nearby until 9pm EVERY NIGHT! How cosmopolitan it felt. How "urban".

This evening [4/8/07], the Supa IGA's potential customers and their enviro-shopping bags were greeted by closed doors, a friendly security guard and a sign advising the supermarket had undergone a change of ownership, and that the trading hours were now 6 am until 5 pm Saturday.

Bummer!

The Supa IGA is the anchor tenant within the "Village Centre" of the Kelvin Grove Urban Village, which was opened by the Premier late last year. The centre, a $150 million development by Indigo, includes the Supa IGA, gourmet food stores, restaurants, specialist retail outlets and residential apartments.

Despite hearty promotional efforts by the local News Ltd press ('City North News', 'City News', 'Brisbane News', 'Image', 'The Courier-Mail' etc), there are a few retail vacancies in the "Village Centre". The hairdressing salon, nail bar and café/deli have departed, and up until recently, the bottle shop's stock left a lot to be desired.

One wonders whether the urban village is a dud, or perhaps the poo has well and truly hit the fan and we are headed for a recession/depression?

This might explain the duelling spruikers observed at the front of two dress shops in Albert Street on Friday lunchtime.

Premier Peter Beattie being "grilled" by Brisbane's media pack after officially opening the Kelvin Grove Urban Village in October last year.

"Biggest Bloody Protest March Since The Vietnam War"

Queenslanders turned out in their thousands today [3/8/07] to protest the state government's proposal to amalgamate local councils. Some of the protesters had travelled through the night from districts throughout western Queensland and the bush to attend today's rally.

Protestors from Noosa and around the state bearing flags, balloons and signs, descended upon Southbank's cultural centre forecourt, as local singer songwriter Lea Sanson lead the chorus:

"We will not give up the fight,
We have only started
Together we'll have victory,
Hand holding hand."

Addressing the crowd in his inimitable style, radio identity Jamie Dunn quipped, "Please don't see me as a cynical radio personality trying to find a cause to latch on to."

"Both my wives live there (Noosa), so I have every right to be here!"

President of the Noosa Rate Payers Association, Stan Chandler said, "We don't want a super Council - we already have a super council!"

"Local government is the most democratic government there is," he added.

"We've been targetted by the Property Council...They want to increase building density and decrease infrastructure charges."

Business entrepreneur and author, Bob Ansett said, "Jesus! All of Noosa must be here today!"

He referred to Jackie Macdonald's presence, and sent James Morrison's regards - all are Noosa residents.

"The Beattie government may not love Noosa, but there are millions of people around the world who do," he said.

"1.7 million visit Noosa every year. This is an incredible amount. Why would you put it at risk?"

Ansett cited the example of Carmel in Northern California, which faced a similar predicament 25 years ago.

"The citizens called in Clint Eastwood, and he made their day because it never happened," he said.

"This is the beginning of what is going to be a long and lengthy fight. If all else fails, let's call in Dirty Harry," he said.

Noosa Mayor Bob Abbot arrived amidst much cheering and applause, and gave a fiery speech. He acknowledged the presence of the other councils at the rally, and hoped it would send a strong message.

Noosa Mayor Bob Abbot

"This is about democracy," he said.

"We want to protect our place, and we will do it!"

Mr Abbot said that Federal Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd would have to "have a think" about his role in the matter.

"We will fight!" he yelled.

A sea of blue and green traversed the Victoria Bridge as the protesters marched toward Parliament House chanting:

"1-2-3-4 Peter Beattie Out The Door! 2-4-6-8 We will not amalgamate!"

Crossing Victoria Bridge bearing the postcard to be presented to the Premier.

The crowd gathered at the front of Parliament House and spilled into the Botanic Gardens, as the pipe band gave a stirring version of 'Scotland The Brave'.

Gesturing toward Parliament House, State Member for Noosa, Mr Glen Elmes MP said, "There's more democracy on this side of the fence than on the other side."

Mr Abbot presented the giant postcard created by the community for the Premier. A series of speakers addressed the crowd including Shadow Local Government Minister Howard Hobbs, State Opposition Leader Jeff Seeney and Executive Director of the Local Government Association of Queensland Greg Hallam.

"The tree of knowledge wasn't poisoned - the tree of knowledge died of shame," said one of the speakers.

One protester in the crowd was heard to remark that it was Brisbane's "biggest bloody protest march since the Vietnam War".

At the front of Parliament House

Report reveals Australian aid to Iraq used for economic gain not humanitarian relief: AIDWATCH Media Release 3/8/07

A report released today by AID/WATCH claims aid sent to Iraq was used to promote Australian commercial interests not humanitarian purposes.

Determining their National Interest: Australia’s Economic Intervention in Iraq reveals the role that Australia aid-funded officials played in restructuring Iraqi economy through their involvement in the Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA) - the body which formally oversaw the occupation of Iraq.

Whilst stating their intention to work towards a reconstruction of the Iraqi economy, the CPA devised a series of agreements that ensured Iraqi dependency on foreign markets.

Among the most significant of these agreements was the June 2003 decision to rescind all taxes, duties and tariffs on imports - closely followed by the installation of a flat 15 percent tax on all individuals and corporations.

AID/WATCH claims these actions have left Iraqi farmers struggling to compete yet provided significant benefit for large foreign companies and Australian wheat producers.

Further, the report finds that no Iraqi’s were consulted or even presented with the plans enacted by the CPA - which will be very difficult to modify by future Iraqi governments.

Flint Duxfield co-director of AID/WATCH says “the report clearly demonstrates that Australian aid contractors in Iraq had little to no humanitarian mission, but rather sought to ensure that post-conflict Iraq would provide maximum economic opportunities for Australian companies.”

Ultimately the report highlights the need for more than just an exit strategy in Iraq – but an explanation as to why Australian aid was involved in restructuring the Iraqi economy in a way which fundamentally fails to support Iraqi people.

Author of the report, Chris Doran commented "Australia played a significant role in forcing a radical, market oriented economic model on Iraq under the military occupation. Australia benefited economically at the direct expense of the Iraqi people, who the Howard government claimed to be helping."

According to AIDWATCH the findings reflect a fundamental problem inherent to Australia’s aid program - that it is designed to promote Australian national interest, over and above the humanitarian interests of the country it claims to be supporting.

Says AIDWATCH Co-Director Flint Duxfield: “When the benefits of an intervention such as Iraq go disproportionately to the country providing the funding, we cannot call this money aid.”

The report calls for a full audit of Australian aid to Iraq since 2003 - including a comprehensive breakdown of ODA eligible expenditure in Iraq by all government departments.

"We Shall Not Return": King George Square Sculptures

Signs of protest: The King George Square "Sculptures Manifesto", recently posted around the square.

A group of Brisbane sculptures previously located in King George Square, have stated they will not return once the refurbishment of the square is finished.

"We see ourselves as symbols of high art and free speech, as well as representing the struggles of this city's forebears," said the sculptures' spokesperson, and member of Speakers Corner, the statue of Emma Miller.

The sculptures recently posted copies of their manifesto at strategic points around the square.

"We feel there is no point returning to the square, when the things that I, and the other members of Speakers' Corner - the statue of Steele Rudd and Sir Charles Lilley - symbolise, have lost their meaning in this town."

The statue of a convict - part of the Petrie Tableau - echoed the statue of Emma Miller's sentiments.

"It would be hypocritical of us to return," he said.

"What's the point of reminding people about the past, when it's being smashed up all over town?"

Speaking on behalf of the lions and himself, the statue of King George V said, "Harumph! As far as I'm concerned, these namby pamby lefty, poofy statues should be used for scrap metal. As symbols of might and empire, the lions and myself are happy to return to the square."

The four 'Forme del Mito' sculptures, which represent a force and principal characters from the Greek tragedy 'Agamemnon', vanished from the square last week

"We're a bit worried because we haven't heard from them," said the statue of Emma Miller.

"The statue of Queen Victoria said she thought they were with the Shingle Inn, but I'm not sure how she knows for sure - given she's in Queens Park."

"Wherever they are, we just hope they are appreciated," she said.

"Never fear my loyal subjects! I shall return!" King George being taken away late last year.

Outrage As B.I.F.F. Screens A Controversial Film

A controversial film will be screened at the Brisbane International Film Festival (B.I.F.F.), which starts today.

"I am outraged," said a passerby, waving his tickets in the air with glee.

Criticism of the film by a couple of old, lefty academics in the corporate media has heightened its appeal, and it is anticipated plenty of uninformed clowns will flock to the screening.

Tomorrow: The lazy film buff's guide to B.I.F.F.

Brisbane Pedestrians To Be Phased Out

Politicians, developers, the corporate media, law enforcement agencies and shills have reached an agreement that people should not be allowed to walk around Brisbane's CBD by the end of this year.

"They will have to make other arrangements," one Councillor said.

"We don't want them in the CBD, unless they are in a car."

"This is such good news," said a frustrated driver.

"Who gives a rats about climate change or peak oil. I'm sick of having to stop and wait for them (pedestrians) to get from one side of the road to another. In fact, why not arrest them under the terrorism legislation if they reappear," he added, before charging through a red light.

As part of a five year plan titled "Cars! Cars! Cars!: A Vision For Brisbane", politicians also plan to eradicate footpaths and all forms of public transport by June, 2010. Cyclists will be shot on sight.

Work is expected to commence shortly to transform the Queen Street Mall into Queens Highway, which will improve traffic congestion.

In related news, Brisbane's underground graffiti community will soon be rounded up and extraordinarily renditioned to Egypt to be tortured.

House Demolished In Historic Spring Hill

Another house in Spring Hill has been demolished, sparking calls for all heritage properties in the suburb to be demolished as soon as possible.

"The house had no historic value whatsoever," said a Heritage Consultant of the 100 year old property in Didyouknowmyhousewasonceabrothel? Street.

"My feeling is that that cranky old Archbishop was right, when back in the 1920s he said the entire suburb should be bulldozed."

The owner of the house plans to build a fifty storey residential complex upon the now vacant block.

"It will complement Spring Hill's unique heritage qualities," he said.

"This project illustrates that Spring Hill is reeking with history," said a local real estate agent.

Signs Of Stupidity - Newmarket Road

"God Doesn't Believe In Atheists So They Must Not Exist"

The "Want Longer Lasting SEX?" sign

Thank "God" For The Intelligent Social Commentary Outside The ITP At Red Hill

If you're in the vicinity around lunchtime to talk about tax, No-Nos's kebabs are the best in Brisbane.

Make Love Not War: Nineteen Peace Protesters Face Court

A press release from 'Peace Convergence' reports that nineteen people face Yeppoon Magistrates Court this Thursday [2/8/07] for peaceful protests during the Talisman Sabre Military Training exercises in June.

The majority will plead not guilty, and return for the trial at a later date. Others will plead guilty and the matter will be determined immediately.

Seventeen are charged with Trespass on Commonwealth Land, arising from entering the base on five different occasions.

Two are charged with Public Nuisance after attempting to 'Make Love, Not War’ at a gate of the base.

Seven people in two groups spent four days inside the base before revealing themselves to military personnel.

Five people entered an airstrip within the base and played Frisbee with personnel before being arrested.

Four people climbed a cow fence at the Byfield gate and refused to return.

One person danced the Hokey Pokey, and was arrested when he put his “whole self in”.

Two people were arrested naked and embracing at the Byfield gate, shouting “make love, not war”.

Give Northern Link The Red Light:

Community Action for Sustainable Transport

A sustainable transport group is appalled that Brisbane City Councillors have voted in unanimous support of proceeding with the Northern Link tunnel, and have urged the Federal government to fund urban public transport projects instead.

“This is another move in the wrong direction for Brisbane ,” said Community Action for Sustainable Transport (CAST) spokesperson Tristan Peach.

“New car bridges and tunnels increase congestion, pollution, road accidents and social inequity. They have not worked in Sydney, and the impact statements for other TransApex projects predict huge increases in congestion on Stafford Road , Newmarket Road, Gympie Road , Vulture Street , Cordelia Street , Merivale Street and the East-West Arterial as a result of the Airport Link, North South Bypass Tunnel and Hale Street Bridge ,” he said.

“Brisbane has all the major roads it needs, what we desperately need is a public transport system that carries 30% (rather than the current 10%) of the population,” he said.

“Despite the rhetoric Council and the State are planning for only 11% of trips to be via public transport in 2026, and as a result congestion and pollution will increase,” he said.

“Council need to roll out a network of transit lanes across the city to make public transport a faster option than the car, they also need to switch their funding priority from cars to public transport, walking and cycling,” said Mr Peach.

Continuous Transit Lanes could be installed within months on most major roads – Coronation Drive, Lutwyche/Gympie Road, Old Cleveland Road, Kelvin Grove Road, Ipswich Road, with buses getting priority at traffic lights – increasing the carrying capacity of these roads and making public transport a more comparable alternative to the car.

"Peak Bullets" the Next Threat to Freedom And Democracy for US?

Peak Bullets? You have probably heard of "Peak Oil", the point at which the maximum amount of oil per day can be produced from the emptying swamp of supply. It means that there comes a point (some say it was around 85 million barrels of oil per day in 2005) after which the oil gets harder and more expensive to get, no matter how much extra equipment and technology is added, and therefore consumption cannot increase, but has to decline.

Maybe America is reaching "Peak Bullets" judging from an article in today's [18/8/07] "Seattle Times":

"Soaring metal prices and combat overseas are forcing law-enforcement agencies across the nation to cut back on weapons-training courses and pay higher prices for bullets.

Bob Cecil, firearms training manager for the Washington State Criminal Justice Training Commission in Burien, said an ammunition delivery that should take seven weeks is taking more than eight months."

Being a shrewd and experienced manager, Bob had learned from the shortages during the First Gulf War and had stockpiled early but was still having trouble. All the manufacturers are tied up because:

"Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are firing more than 1 billion bullets a year during combat and training."

Could that really work out to about 1,902 bullets per minute, every minute of the day for a few years? And, as a glimpse into what a "Post Peak Bullet" world may look like the article notes:

"In Indianapolis, police are considering using paintballs during a two-week training course as a way to conserve ammunition."

The price of ammunition has almost doubled in a year, ammunition supply rooms are packed to the fullest, deliveries are seven months late as delivery times have doubled and prices have been rising for the copper, brass, nickel, lead and steel vital to bullet production. Some manufacturers are still able to increase production to help meet the demand.

But even tripling productivity since 2002 up to 1.4 billion rounds in 2006, the supplier of more than 80% of the military's 'small-arms' ammunition is running their plants at full capacity. The company, "Alliant Techsystems", has plans to build more capacity. Alliant is a huge winner from the US military's expenditure in its current wars around the world, in a crowded field it is just a bit behind Halliburton and Raytheon.

There was a beat-up in the recent Brisbane press about Queensland Police having a bit of practice on the tin ducks of sideshow alley at the EKKA (Brisbane Exhibition for you non-locals). Here is the official response from the Queensland Police:

"These officers were participating for a few minutes and were still able to provide a policing response to the sideshow alley precinct.

Under the circumstances, the limited engagement of these officers in this amusement activity, with amusement operators and the community is not inappropriate."

Anyway, given the threat of "Peak Bullets", shouldn't our Police get all the practice they can? If you can shoot straight in sideshow alley, you can shoot straight anywhere, surely!

The full story is at:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003842054_ammo18m.html

Reminiscing

Auction Day, Lilley and Twine Streets, Spring Hill - November 2003

Reminiscent of the excitement surrounding Moreton Bay's first land sales in the late 1850s and subsequent frenzied buying and developing of house lots, on one Saturday in November 2003, eight houses in a group between Lilley and Twine Streets, Spring Hill were auctioned. Despite the dreary weather, a carnival atmosphere prevailed and the punters rolled in, keen to make a killing. It was not unlike the mid-1800s when land buyers were enticed to Auction by a free omnibus to the event, which was preceded by luncheon and beer.

The television media were present and all bidders were placed in a draw for a lucky door prize of a hamper of goodies. There was a Sausage Sizzle, coffee van and even a clown. The nail-biting intensity of running bids was broken midway, when an individual on one of the porches decided to vigorously wave to his brother in the crowd and the exasperated Auctioneer had presumed he was making a $2500 bid.

The buyers collectively spent $3,170,000.00 on the eight properties.

Over the past four years, the author of this website has amassed a vast database of information pertaining to Spring Hill's history and property. If you are interested in any of this information, please contact: spring_hill_voice@hotmail.com

Spring Hill Road To Be Closed

An application has been lodged to close off the laneway behind the building which houses the corner store on North Street. The laneway is currently used as a carpark.

Exciting, hey?

St Andrews Private Hospital apparently owns the whole block. The building is circa turn of last century, and there is an abandoned house with a magical garden included next door. Perhaps St Andrews have decided to develop further?

"No Food Lowers Cholesterol Absorption More". Well no-one could disagree with that!

Fishy Business

Have you noticed John West tuna products now originate from Thailand? Check the label next time you're at the supermarket, scouring the shelves for that elusive can of plain tuna - yes - tuna in brine, olive oil or spring water - not an array of exotic flavours.

I contacted John West who verified that their canned tuna is supplied and packed in Thailand.

Up until recently, cans of John West tuna indicated the product originated from Port Lincoln, South Australia, and was also canned there, but it seems this tuna is now being exported.

A search of the 'Adelaide Advertiser' (Adelaide, like Brisbane is a one paper/News Ltd. town) revealed an article [15/8/06] penned by Rural Editor Nigel Austin entitled 'Sales Deal Coup for Port Lincoln company'. The article states that following the signing of the U.S. - Australia Free Trade Agreement late last year, the only remaining tuna cannery in Australia (based in Port Lincoln) secured a U.S. export order worth up to $40 million, which will "put South Australian fish on the shelves of major American supermarkets".

A couple of days later [17/8/06], Wendy Miller of Adelaide wrote the following letter to the editor:

"Regarding "$40m order to put our tuna on U.S. shelves" (The Advertiser, 15/8/06), I am so happy for the Americans, now that they can enjoy Port Lincoln tuna.

Meanwhile, can anyone tell me where we can buy Port Lincoln tuna in Adelaide?

A supermarket search found: Sirena tuna: product of Thailand; Greenseas: product of Thailand; Seakist: made in Thailand; John West: packed in Australia from imported produce; Safcol: produced in Thailand; La Nova: product of Vietnam."

Good question Wendy. Ever get the feeling Aussies are getting a raw deal from this wonderful free trade agreement?

Australian Thriller Reveals A Dark Underbelly In Human Trafficking: B.I.F.F. Screens 'The Jammed'

One of the Australian films screening at this year's Brisbane International Film Festival is 'The Jammed', a story set amidst the human trafficking and illegal prostitution that is taking place in our cities. The film begins as Crystal (Emma Lung), a young Indonesian girl, is questioned by immigration officials and about to be sent to a detention centre. It then shifts back three weeks, as insurance clerk Ashley Hudson (Veronica Sywak) is drawn into Melbourne's sinister underworld when she reluctantly agrees to help a Thai woman Sunee (Amanda Ma) find her daughter Rubi (Sun Park).

Speaking at yesterday's screening of 'The Jammed', writer and director Dee McLachlan said that her film presents a "huge cultural calamity" currently taking place in Australia.

"This is about displaced people," she said, referring to the victims of human trafficking - 30% of whom have no idea they will be working as prostitutes.

"They work for nothing, and then get deported," she said.

Ms McLachlan said that the inspiration for 'The Jammed' came from a series of court cases, in particular the case of Gary Glasner who in the late 1990s, was found guilty of violations of the Victorian Prostitution Control Act (the federal slavery and sexual servitude legislation had not been introduced at that stage). Glazner received a penalty of 18 months imprisonment (fully suspended for two years) and a $31,000 fine.

According to Ms McLachlan, one criticism of the film, put to her by a human rights advocate was that the girls should have been shown working in a legal brothel, because in reality, that's where they are.

Actress Veronica Sywak (who had initially auditioned for the role of Vanya - played by Saskia Burmesiter) also spoke at the screening. Of her role as Ashley, Ms Sywak said she had to "plumb the depths of human debauchery and sadness."

"It was an incredibly emotionally charged set," she said.

Ms McLachlan said that such was the potency of the subject matter, on difficult days the assistance of a "talent alignment" person was sought for counselling purposes.

The Jammed' is a powerful piece of cinema that delves into Australia's dark underbelly - a confronting and unpleasant place - that like Ashley Hudson, many of us would prefer to turn our back on.

It was interesting to see Debra Lawrence (Pippa from 'Home & Away') in the role of the heartless DIMIA Case Officer, and Kate Atkinson ('Seachange's' Constable Karen Miller) as Ashley's detached, middle class friend Gabi.

Speaking of 'Seachange', in other B.I.F.F. news, Brisbane's clown media has reported that 'Seachange's' Max Conners reckons the "controversial" film 'Unlikely Travellers' is on his "must see" list. I guess this means that after all that shameless publicity, there are still heaps of tickets left!

'The Jammed' screens this Sunday as part of the Brisbane International Film Festival. See: www.biff.com.au for details. Make sure you're on time so you don't miss the excellent Aussie short 'Dugong', which has been nominated for an AFI award.

Keeping It Real - An Opportunity For Brisbaneites To Gain A Little Insight Into Iran's Underground Music Scene

Directed by Amir Hamz and Mark Lazarz, 'Sounds Of Silence' explores the struggles and frustrations of some of the young musicians involved in Iran's underground music scene. Made in 2006, the film combines a series of illuminating interviews spliced with performances and excerpts of music clips, along with fleeting footage of the bustling city of Tehran.

The determined musicians reveal how they manage to create diverse and inspiring music, despite the suffocating role of Ershad - the Iranian Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance. When a band wishes to release a CD or perform a concert, Ershad scrutinizes their lyrics, stage movements and overall look - often making last minute rejections. Women are not permitted to sing solo in public, and any hint of western influence is immediately censored.

The input from a young music journalist and the proprietor of a Tehran music store add to this documentary's well-rounded investigation of the obstacles to producing music in Iran. Most of the artists bear a degree of anger toward the restrictions but are resigned to the situation, and so keen to create an authentic sound that they make their music anyway.

Adaptation is the key, and through the power of the internet, these musicians have been able to share their music with the world. And it's original and addictive - traditional instrumentation blended with electronic beats, hip-hop and heavy guitar - full of rhythm and life. The bands O-Hum and Atma reinterpret the works of ancient Persian poets, while rapper Sorush quotes directly from the Koran.

The mainstream media tell us Iran is one of the west's mortal enemies - a key player in the "axis of evil" where nuclear weapons proliferate, women are subjugated, and censorship of art and culture is rife. 'Sounds Of Silence' is a welcome dose of sensible humanity. Not letting women sing solo is harsh, but plenty of countries have touch of the totalitarian these days. Although we may not have a Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance in Australia, you couldn't really say that our mainstream music scene is progressive or politically provocative. Indeed perhaps market forces and our "war on terror" is proving as censorious as a bunch of religious bureaucrats. In any case, I don't think a country that reveres Kylie Minogue's bottom as a cultural experience is in a position to criticise.

You can find out more about the underground music scene in Iran through the following website:

http://www.tehranavenue.com/

'Sounds Of Silence' will be screened this Sunday as part of the Brisbane International Film Festival. See: www.biff.com.au for details.

A Peek Inside China's Industrial Wasteland: 'Walking On The Wildside' ('Lai Xiao Zi') Screens at B.I.F.F.

The west is buzzing about China right now, with all that economic opportunity and prosperity and the lead up to the Beijing Olympics. So catching 'Walking On The Wildside', which screened at the Brisbane International Film Festival last night, was an excellent opportunity to immerse oneself in a recent creative interpretation of the goings on in a small place in this big country.

'Walking On The Wildside' is a drama that tells the brutally simple story of a group of young men from the mining province of Shanxi, Northern China in the early nineties. For the people who live and work within the province life is bleak, hierarchic and fraught with danger. There isn't much joy, other than fleeting sexual liaisons, getting drunk on rough liquor, smoking lots of cigarettes and exacting revenge downward.

Some structural aspects of the film are a little weak, but Director Han Jie has concocted some miraculously beautiful landscapes amidst the social and environmental degradation.

Many Australians have travelled to China in recent years - perhaps on business, or maybe for pleasure - but one wonders if they've visited the places that have borne the brunt of a resource based industrial boom. There may be a lesson in this film, or it may be a sign of things to come. Whether you have been to China or not, a film like this is recommended viewing if you really want to think about the 'international' in the festival's B.I.F.F. acronym.

'Walking On The Wildside' won a Tiger Award at Rotterdam in 2006. It is screening this Thursday evening as part of the Brisbane International Film Festival. See www.biff.com.au for details.

The Lazy Film Buff's Guide To B.I.F.F. has been delayed due to laziness. Sorry.

Voices Of Dissent: 'Words From The City' Screens At B.I.F.F. This Friday

This impressive AFI Award nominated documentary, written and directed by Natasha Gadd and Rhys Graham, follows a core group of Australian hip-hop artists, as they create, perform, and hang out. Even if you're not a hip-hop fan, 'Words From The City' is well worth checking out. The filmmakers have captured this burgeoning Aussie music phenomenon and its variety and substance, in a refreshingly unpretentious manner.

'Words From The City' looks into the lives of these talented musicians who have plenty of things to say about their personal struggles, political points of view and life in general. They're spunky, raw and real, and use words, beats and samples to express a gamut of emotions, day-to-day frustrations, and a desire for change - a potent and authentic mix, which is very appealing to youngsters and jaded music lovers alike.

The joy that Wire MC brings to his community at Nambucca Heads when he helps them create their very own CD recording, and the efforts MC Trey puts in to her workshops with troubled kids, are truly heartwarming.

When is the last time you saw an Australian documentary that properly reflected the passion and talent of its youth? This movie is about what is real to millions of (mostly) young Australians, and there may be hope for us yet!

'Words From The City' features the energetic and inspiring Wire MC, Hilltop Hoods, Downsyde, Layla, Koolism, Bliss N Eso, Maya Jupiter, TZU and MC Trey, and screens at the Brisbane International Film Festival this Friday evening. See: www.biff.com.au for details.

A Silent Movie With A Contemporary Kick

Writer and Director Rolf De Heer ('Ten Canoes', 'Alexandra's Project' and 'The Tracker'), says that each film he makes is a "reaction against the previous one".

Speaking at a screening of his latest release 'Dr Plonk' at the Palace Centro last evening (3/8/07), De Heer said, "When I'm casting around for ideas, I need to find something that I'm passionate about."

And 'Dr Plonk' is certainly no ordinary cinematic experience! A modern day silent comedy set in 1907, it tells the story of scientist Dr Plonk (Nigel Lunghi) who has calculated that the world will end in exactly 101 years. Unable to convince the Prime Minister and his advisors of the impending doom, he invents a time machine in order to visit the future and collect the proof.

But while it's brimming with slapstick, and there are plenty of laughs to be had at the antics of Dr Plonk, Mrs Plonk (Magda Szubanski), Paulus (Paul Blackwell) and Reg (Tiberius) the dog, there's a discernably grim undertone to this film.

Shot in black and white, with available light and minimal camera movement, the film is stark, but beautiful to watch. The soundtrack, comprising violin, piano accordion and double bass performed by 'The Stiletto Sisters', is an energetic accompaniment.

De Heer said that as he wrote the script he, "lost himself in the entanglements of trying to tell the story without dialogue."

And with a small crew, De Heer had the luxury of being able to take plenty of time.

"It's an attractive way to make a film because you can concentrate on the essence of what you're doing," he said.

Indeed the scene De Heer scripted as "The Police Chase Plonk" was scheduled for one day but eventually took two weeks to shoot.

"It was a great collaboration," he said.

As for his underlying message about the end of the world?

De Heer said, "It is absolutely inevitable...But is it now? 200 years away?"

"There is a ball that is rolling that cannot be stopped."

'Dr Plonk' is a must see film. It's funny, clever and wise. Take the family. Watch for the Hon. Mike Rann MP's cameo as the Prime Minister of Australia!

'Dr Plonk' screens at the Brisbane International Film Festival on Saturday, 4 August at the Regent Cinema. It has a wider release in cinemas on 30 August.

Studebakers At Southbank - 26/8/07