The 'Tweed Shire Echo' reports [29/4/10]:

"Go after the teacher unions": Rupert Murdoch, DAVOS January 2009

Education Minister Julia Gillard has furiously slammed the Murdoch owned News Ltd. press after they published League Tables today [1/5/10]. Ms Gillard has previously said that League Tables are "unhelpful, slanted, sensationalist rubbish and just plain wrong" and people should never rely on them when making decisions or judgments.

"This is just more sensationalist and grubby 'journalism' which is all too frequently common from this disgraceful and discredited organisation," a clearly furious Ms Gillard said.

The controversial League Tables were published in today's Murdoch papers. Ms Gillard has often criticised the use of League Tables, but always claims that she is powerless to stop them.

"Look, the media have published these deceptive and irresponsible League Tables in the past and I'm sure they will do it again in the future."

News Ltd. executives defended the League Tables, saying the public have a right to know how their local area compares to other completely different areas across the nation. The controversial League Tables are often used to increase sales of the otherwise totally irrelevant Murdoch newspapers.

League players were bound by their contracts not to comment on the story, but insiders say that the League Tables can be misleading. For example, a team like the News Ltd. owned Melbourne Storm playing in the News Ltd. owned NRL broadcast exclusively on the News Ltd. owned Foxtel appeared last in the League Tables published in the News Ltd. owned 'Courier Mail' this weekend. Critics say that just because the team is guilty of cheating it should not be unfairly compared to teams which have won games by playing fairly.

The ex-News Ltd. lawyer who runs the News Ltd. owned NRL has dismissed the controversy over the News Ltd. published League Tables saying that they provide some information, but people can do their own research to decide which team is really winning the competition.

Exclusive: 2010 Queensland Labor Day Celebrations Reformed

Marchers will bear placards featuring the image of their hero Milton Friedman

This year's Labor Day march and celebrations has been changed to "The Free Market Rules OK" Day in order to be more reflective of the nation's reformed values.

A source close to the Labor Day march organising committee has told 'Spring Hill Voice' that the changes were necessary to make the march relevant to contemporary Australians.

"It's a celebration of what has happened to this country over the past few decades, and more importantly a symbolic gesture of thanks to our political representatives that these reforms are unyielding," said the source, who did not wish to be named - because they never do.

"We've been holding this march for 100 years and we decided it was time to modernise and be more inclusive," he said.

The march is set to be full of surprises, including a group of police - The Shocking Blues - who are really making a name for themselves in the community with their amusing taser juggling and twirling.

Marchers will meet at the Queensland Club before assembling at the front of Parliament House to make speeches of thanks.

They will then proceed through the Queen Street Mall to the Tattersalls Club while chanting: "The workers, defeated, will never be united!" and "What do we want? Outcomes going forward! When do we want it? Now!"

Women can wait outside or go shopping, as an array of speakers from the Lowe Institute and the Institute of Public Affairs (along with special guests from the American Enterprise Institutue and CATO Institute) will address the gathering.

Optional trips to various gentlemans clubs and legal brothels will also be available at the conclusion of the formal celebrations.

EXCLUSIVE! Media Announces New Tobacco Packaging Policy

The new Winfield Red (right) and Winfield Blue (left) packets will be announced by the PM, in Cantonese, tomorrow.

The Government will announce a new revolutionary tobacco packaging policy tomorrow [29/4/10]. If you are as capable of suspending disbelief as we are, you won't question how it is that we are able to report confidently, as fact, something which apparently hasn't happened yet. That is the power of modern media and democracy. You just love it.

Anyway, ever since 2004 when that crazy madman Mark Latham committed the ALP to refusing cancer money from the notoriously right wing tobacco industry, preferring instead the far more lucrative and deadly cancer cash from the fossil fuel industry, the ALP has been keeping 'Fag-Bashing' up its sleeve for a climate-change caused rainy day.

Well people, it's pissing down bad news for the non-core promise breakers down at ALP HQ and they need a biggy from your servants, the media. So here it is: as of a distant and not really certain or fixed date, all tobacco products will have to be sold in bewildering Chinese language packaging. Weird, isn't it?

We'll interview some people about this and won't do any real journalism. Hey, by the way, did you know the Chairman of the National Preventative Health Taskforce is also Chairman of the Melbourne Storm? Isn't it a small world? And did you know that Rupert Murdoch owns everything that has anything to do with this fraud? You didn't? Good.

Back to the real news: When people ask for a pack of Winnie Reds they will be refused service as no such product will exist. Sheer brilliance!

Letter To The Editor Gold Coast Bulletin:

Gold Coast City Council Media Release [28/4/10]

Dear Sir

I wish to share this information which wasn’t published even though it was provided to the author of the article (Heartbreak hotels p1, 26 April 2010).

Gold Coast City Council has been distributing surf safety brochures to accommodation houses for the past 25 years. Obviously, as the number of visitors has grown so has the distribution.

Currently, 15,000 surf safety brochures are produced by Council and distributed every month to 534 accommodation houses, including backpackers, hotels, motels, high rises and international colleges and schools from Coolangatta to Runaway Bay.

The main surf safety message is ‘No flags = no swim”, in 15 languages……English, Arabic,. Bosnian, French, German, Italian, Hindu, Japanese, Korean, Malay, Portuguese, Russian, simple Chinese, Thai and traditional Chinese.

Council also contributes $25,000 to a brochure produced jointly with Surf Life Saving Queensland which is distributed at airports.

Council’s Lifeguard Service runs a Beach Safety Education Program for schools, international colleges, community groups, English-language schools and community events.

The ‘swim between the flags’ message is on signs at the entry to Gold Coast beaches.

Council employs the largest professional Lifeguard Service in Australia, 37 permanent staff and 120 seasonal staff (mostly from the ranks of Surf Life Saving Association volunteers).

Lifeguards patrol 26 beaches year-round and 42 beaches during the holiday season.

In 1989 our Lifeguard Service became the first in Australia to adopt a formal surveillance 'tower plan' along the coastal strip and pioneered the use of jet skis in Australia and was the first to have staff train in the use of defibrillators.

Council lifeguards have always worked closely with Surf Life Saving Queensland and should be proud of their combined efforts to keep our beaches safe.

Council will continue to work with Surf Life Saving and the tourism body to spread the surf safety message.

Cr Bob La Castra
Chair Community and Cultural Development Committee
Gold Coast City Council

A Feat Of Endurance With A Purpose

Southport: On The Move [27/4/10]

The Southport ANZAC Memorial is to be relocated as part of the Broadwater Parklands development

Perhaps some of the 1,000s of Gold Coast homeless could be housed in this proposed development? Former "Holy Mackerel" restaurant site, Marine Parade (Or, for that matter, any of the other long term, vacant developments around the place)

Corellas in the Casuarinas, Len Fox Park

Pheasant Coucal concealed in the undergrowth surrounding Marine Stadium, The Spit

Seagull stepping out, Marine Stadium, The Spit

Sausage Sizzle And Afternoon Tea With Senator Bishop

Back page 'Gold Coast Sun' [28/4/10]

Queensland Surges Ahead: Conflicting Economic Reports Index

The surge in the Conflicting Economic Reports Index co-incides with the surge in Politicians Having Botox Index, the Politicians Engaging in Extra-Marital Affairs Index, the Politicians Dining with News Ltd. Executives Index, and the Politicians Addressing Neoliberal Think Tanks, Holding Church Doorstop Interviews, and Prattling on Like Robots in Fluorescent Vests and Construction Helmets Index

Queensland and Western Australia are surging ahead of all other Australian states and territories according to the Conflicting Economic Reports Index released today.

All Queenslanders are set to benefit from the surge - even working families who don't believe what they read in the monomedia or what they hear on Radio Rupert, the Arsehat Economics report says.

The forecaster predicts that environmentalists will praise the boom in exports of dangerous carbon dioxide from our shores.

"With climate change being contained to remote areas of China, we also anticipate the Number of SUVs in the Driveways of Multinational Fast Food Outlets Index to improve," an Arsehat Economics spokesman said.

"And the Number of SUVs in Westfield Shoppingtown Carparks Index is also looking up."

The Conflicting Economics Report Index also states that among all the Australian states and territories Victoria stands out on the clearing of native vegetation and killing koalas index.

It is understood that this latest report will be forgotten within thirty minutes of its release.

Does What We Wear Define Who We Are?

Image courtesy Deborah Kelly

Stream-Bank Blitz At Traveston Crossing:

Save The Mary River Co-ordinating Group Media Release [26/4/10]

Image by Arkin Mackay - www.stoppress.com.au

Dedicated Mary River Campaigners braved the rain and turned out for the 4th annual Save the Mary Flotilla [24/4/10], marking four years since the proposal to dam the Mary River. This years flotilla was different though since the proposal was successfully overturned last year, paddlers were able to reflect on the monumental achievements of the campaign and soak up the serenity of the Mary River.

That same afternoon saw the launch of the "Shade for Mary" project with a symbolic tree planting on the riverbanks at Traveston Crossing. In what resembled a "Stream-bank Blitz", about a thousand native riparian plants were planted in a few hours downstream of the Traveston Crossing Bridge. These were grown locally by the community with the seed collected just after the "No Dam" decision in November 2009. These plants mark a significant act of riverbank rehabilitation, and will be a long term tribute to the fight to save the Mary River.

This continued the community planting of a riparian corridor planted upstream of the new bridge in 2001 after Cooloola Council stabilised the toe of the eroding streambank with rock.

Save the Mary River Coordinating Group president Glenda Pickersgill said that through hard work and perseverance, we overturned that dam proposal and now looked forward to working with Minister Garrett and his Department on any plan to develop a regional recovery plan for the unique species and ecosystem of the Mary River.

"It is only through involvement and consultation with the community that this plan will have the best on-ground outcomes," Ms Pickersgill said.

"Meanwhile the Qld Water Commission is still targeting a "strategic reserve" of 150,000ML/yr in state legislation under the Mary Basin Water Resource Plan even through it has been shown through federal assessment that 70,000ML/yr (proposed to be taken by the Traveston Crossing Dam) cannot be taken without causing significant impact on nationally protected species in the Mary River."

"The current Mary Basin Water Resource Plan is not community endorsed, does not meet the National Water Initiative nor protect the Mary River and Mary Estuary ecosystems. It should simply be done again properly."

Rudd Government Condemned For Cowardice - Time For Bligh To Act:

QCCL Media Release [21/4/10]

Michael Cope, the President of the Queensland Council for Civil Liberties, today joined with other Human Rights and Civil Liberties Groups in condemning the Rudd Government for refusing to enact a Human Rights Act.

Mr Cope said, "The Brennan Committee, through its extensive nationwide consultation process, the largest ever conducted in this country, showed there was clear grassroots support for a Human Rights Act in this country. In an election year the government has decided to ignore that groundswell support and in an act of sheer cowardice surrendered to the vocal minority opposed to such fundamental change."

The furphy that a Human Rights Act is a left wing plot to destroy democracy has been recently exposed in the UK by a book showing that none other than Sir Winston Churchill supported the European Charter of Human Rights. The rights to be contained in the Act proposed by the Brennan Committee are no different to those in that Charter

Mr Cope said, "The rejection of a Human Rights Act for Australia, coupled with the recent decision of the government in relation to asylum seeker issues shows clearly that the Rudd government is nothing more nor less than Howardlite."

For most of the last ten years it's been clear that progress for a Human Rights Act can only occur at the state level. This is now clearly the case again.

Mr Cope said, "It is time now for the Bligh government to step into the breach and provide citizens of Queensland with the level of human rights protection that they deserve. It is time now for a state Human Rights Act along the lines of the Victorian Charter of Rights and Responsibilities."

Pensioners To Be Slugged For Living Longer Than Necessary

Some pensioners may lose their social security entitlements if they sell excess electricity from their solar systems

Australian Pensioners will have their payments cut if they don't die within the newly defined longevity parameters, the Federal Government has confirmed.

Under the guidelines, female pensioners have until 79 years to toss this mortal coil, while male pensioners have until the age of 73 years.

The longevity parameters also impose restrictions on pensioner productivity and outcomes pertaining to social security payments.

A spokesperson for the Government said activities such as knitting booties, lawn bowls, baking scones and pikelets, watching 'The Bill', tinkering in the shed, whinging to their Liberal Party MP and writing letters to the editor of their local News Ltd. outlet would all be considered.

"Any bingo winnings will also be counted as income when determining social security entitlements," he said.

"We are also exploring an environmental levy on mobility scooters."

Pensioner Mr Mervyn Mothballs said he was alerted to the new rules when he received a letter from the Federal Government about his pension.

"On noticing the letter was from Jenny Macklin, I immediately took it to my local Liberal Party MP who went straight to the local News Ltd. outlet," he said.

Senator Fundamentalist said he relished any opportunity to express his concerns about pensioners and climate change in the News Ltd press.

"It's disgusting", he fumed.

Nature's Energy Snack?

They would have been better off saving their pennies and running repeats of (or updating) the "Make Those Bodies Sing" campaign. Even the "Q-Q-QQueensland B-B-B-Bananas, they're the nicest na nas in the world" campaign is better than this!

According to 'Queensland Country Life' [17/3/10]

Delicious, chemical/GM free, naturally-ripened bananas, fresh from a road side stall on Tomewin Road

Majestic view west to Springbrook and view east to Condong (cogeneration plant appears to be operating again after shutting down late last year) from Tomewin Road.

Currumbin Creek [24/4/10]

White-faced heron and THAT black-faced grey crow!

Paddleboarding at sunset

Greens East Coast Fast Rail Plan: Keneally Should Get On Board

Greens Media Release [23/4/10]

NSW Greens MP and Federal Senate candidate Lee Rhiannon today called on Premier Kristina Keneally to seriously consider a plan announced today by Federal Greens leader Bob Brown to link Melbourne, Canberra, Sydney and Brisbane by high speed rail (The Age: http://www.tinyurl.com.au/650 ).

"The NSW Labor government has ignored fast rail since the mothballing of Transport Minister Carl Scully's 1998 plans for high speed rail links between Sydney and Newcastle, the Central Coast and Wollongong," NSW transport spokesperson Ms Rhiannon said.

"If the Premier is serious about tackling climate change and dragging NSW out of the transport dark ages she would champion this plan which will serve major population centres across the state.

"Fast rail would help reduce horror accidents to motorists travelling along our east coast highways.

"High speed rail would not only save time but protect travellers from a predicted rise in oil costs.

"Construction would be staged, beginning by connecting Sydney to cities like Wollongong and Newcastle.

"The economic benefits for the Illawarra and Hunter regions would be enormous.

"The initiative would cut congestion on the Sydney-Melbourne flight path, the fourth busiest in the world.

"Australia lags behind Japan, Europe and the UK, China, South Korea andTaiwan which have embraced high speed rail networks over a 35 year period.

"The Australian Greens detailed plan calls for a 12 month concept study toaddress issues such as service demand, route planning, cost/benefits andfinancing options.

"The writing is on the wall - in coming years peak oil will transform the international aviation industry and make travel by road prohibitive.

"Premier Keneally should get on board and turn her attention to rail over motorways.

"Around 1,750 high speed trains travelling at over 250kms an hour operate across the world," Ms Rhiannon said.

Paronella Park: Flavour Of The Month

Jose Paronella's dream castle and exotic gardens at Mena Creek Falls appeared on Brisbane ABC's weather report a few weeks ago and more recently on the 'Better Homes And Gardens' ANZAC special.

According to our tour guide, before being taken over by its current owners in 1993, Paronella Park was used by the Australian military for training.

Other beautiful places to visit if you're in North Queensland include the Crater Lakes:

Lake Eacham

Boyd's Forest Dragon and Rainforest Giants at Lake Barrine

A Queensland Parks and Wildlife information sign about the Twin Kauri Pines on site says:

Who Is The Enemy?

The last shot fired in the battle of Rothbury: 'Lockout: Australia's Most Violent Industrial Conflict' [2007]

In 1929, in the face of collapsing demand for coal, mine owners in the Northern Coalfields of NSW, announced (with the support of the State and Federal Governments) that they would reduce miners' wages by 12.5 per cent and strip them of their industrial rights. When their union, the Miners Federation, refused to agree to these terms the mine owners locked the gates. They were to remain closed for 15 months. 10,000 miners, pit boys and their families found themselves without a job, forced to subsist on government handouts and charity.

Community anger brewed into a day of violence, with police firing on civilians, killing Norman Brown and wounding many others. Many of the miners and police were ANZACS who had served side by side in World War One.

Subsequently, the 'Unlawful Assemblies Act' was introduced and the government vastly increased the police presence in the area, including the infamous "basher gangs".

One police constable, who had previously served in World War One, was so traumatised by the violence he saw at Rothbury that six months later he shot himself.

Wars are always fought by the working class on behalf of the ruling elites of business, banking and government.

Lest we forget.

Burleigh National Park [23/4/10]

Fed Govt Must Step In To Protect Murray Wetland Forests:

ACF Media Release [23/4/10]

With the NSW Government thumbing its nose at the recommendations of its own independent expert committee it’s now up to Federal ministers Peter Garrett and Penny Wong to step in to protect the iconic Murray redgum wetland forests, the Australian Conservation Foundation said today.

“Legislation introduced by the NSW Government would see the healthiest half of the Millewa wetland forests logged intensively for the next five years and all of the Pericoota-Koondrook forests logged for the foreseeable future,” said ACF Healthy Country Campaign Coordinator Lindsay Hesketh.

“Neither protection nor restoration seems to be on the NSW Government’s agenda.

“This legislation would turn the best part of the largest redgum wetland forests on Earth into low value wood products and firewood.

“The NSW Government has thumbed its nose at the recommendations of its own independent expert committee which made strong recommendation around the protection of these precious forests.

“The NSW position is contrary to the environmental water reform agenda being implemented by Federal Water Minister Penny Wong and to the obligations overseen by Environment Minister Peter Garrett to protect the habitats of nationally threatened species and the ecosystems upon which they rely.

“Federal ministers Peter Garrett and Penny Wong need to make sure the NSW Government rethinks and strengthens this piece of legislation immediately.”

Blame The Individual Not The Corporation

Fuck you government and your scaremongering and wrongity: main entrance to Runaway Bay Shopping Village

blame the individual
not the corporation
appears to be the latest trend
in our wide brown nation

laissez faire's the answer
from climate change to child care
governance through business luncheons
while the caring professions despair

frenzied road construction
clearing land for homes and mines
do I have to dig up coal
to get a railway line?

how's an effin' framework
going to expand human rights?
are we s'posed to count our blessings
death squads aren't rolling up in the night?

what do our leaders talk about
when they sup with Murdoch's freaks
which of society's weakest members
they'll pick on next week?

censoring the internet?
anti-piracy laws?
media moguls have our pollies
by the fuckin' balls

have you noticed that
the yanks are everywhere
with their expert opinions
especially on air?

their homeland's going under
the free market's not so free
and yet they've all migrated here
to spread their ideology

the IMF says we're doing well
but we need less regulation
I'd prefer some truth, not
more lies and misinformation

The NT Intervention Is A Fraud

John Pilger speaks at major event on Australia's 'intervention' against its first people

A new chapter opens this Friday, April 23, in the struggle of the Aboriginal people when Richard Downs and John Pilger launch the first national call-out of indigenous and non-indigenous Australians in protest against the Rudd government's 'intervention' in the Northern Territory.

Richard Downs, community elder and spokesperson for the Alyawarr people, calls on the Australian community to join the 'call out' (civil disobedience), the first since the great Gurindji strike of the 1960s. He said, "This is a struggle for our very survival as Aboriginal people. All control over our lives is being removed. We’re back to where we were 40 years ago. It’s time to start fighting back to defend our rights our county and our culture."

John Pilger said, "When the Gurindji went on strike at Wave Hill in the Northern Territory in 1966, they gave white Australia a gimpse of the suffering and injustice in this country. The Alywarr walk off is as important.The Northern Territory Intervention, so called, is not only a step back to Australia's dark past when racism was acceptable, it distorts the law. United Nations' rulings have made this clear. In other words, it's a fraud.Until white Australians end these iniquities and give back to indigenous Australians their nationhood, they can never claim their own."

Launch of the call will be at a public event at: 6pm this Friday 23 April, NSW Teachers Federation Conference Centre, 37 Reservoir St Surry Hills, Sydney.

www.stoptheintervention.org

Mermaid Beach [23/4/10]

Brisbane Must Take The Next Goose Step

"I've been to cities, that never close down,
From New York, to Rio, to old London town. …"

'I Still Call Australia Home', Peter Allen [1980]

Brisbane ... Joh's gone, but we're still in bed by 10

World cities have jazz clubs. If you've ever been to a world city, you may have noticed some world cities have more than one jazz club.

Remember how overwhelmed you were on encountering more than one newspaper on your travels to these world cities?

Intoxicating wasn't it?

Meandering your way around this unfamiliar metropolis, with its unique cultural and heritage places, fountains, organic creativity, random acts of political expression, folks gathering together seemingly with no purpose (and certainly no permit), sponteneity, efficient public transport, and an eerie lack of pokey out awning architecture, relentless construction, traffic noise and lanyard wearing automatons.

"But what about the bloke who plays saxophone in the Queen Street Mall, or the bloke who plays the steel drums outside the Casino?" I hear you ask.

One could despair at these aberrations, or one could embrace the bigger picture.

This week, the Lord Mayor and a bunch of free market zealots and experts from Ponds Institutes all around the world gathered in Brisbane to work out how to annihilate what remains of the city's soul.

They covered such topics as "Maximising return on land resources", "Unlocking investment opportunities" and "High density living, urban renewal and greenwashing", but no mention of goosestepping.

Brisbane, we don't need jazz clubs that open after 10 pm to cement our place in the new world order. We're practically there already - but if we started goosestepping, it would reflect the true essence of our city.

Bobbin Down is 'Spring Hill Voice's' "Pointless Views for Pointies" editor.

Strong Community Support For State Government To Block Milton High Rise: Media Release [15/4/10]

A depiction of the 31 storey monstrosity that is tobe erected on top of Milton Station opposite the Fourex (XXXX) brewery.

Concerned Residents Against Milton's Excessive Development ("CRAMED") announced today that approximately 700 submissions had been made to the State Government requesting the Government take steps to block the proposed 31 storey development in Railway Terrace, Milton.

The proposed development includes over 300 units with nearly 400 car parks. The submissions were made in a period of 4 working days since the State's Planning and Infrastructure Minister, Stirling Hinchliffe, advised he was considering exercising powers granted to him under the newly implemented Sustainable Planning Act 2009.

Chair of CRAMED, Elizabeth Handley, said:

"The fact that 700 submissions were made over such a short time frame and through a major holiday period demonstrates the strong community sentiment against the proposed development. We understand further submissions have been made in recent days.

"It is concerning that the State Government has passed legislation which allows a Minister to effectively remove the community's right to appeal a development decision, especially one that is demonstrably in breach of the City Plan. The Minister can only use his powers if the development is deemed to be of "State interest". It is not clear how a private residential development would be of "State interest".

"The existing City Plan allows developments of 3 storeys on the site. Brisbane City Council ("Council") is proposing amendments to the City Plan for the area, but these are not in effect and in any event the proposed development breaches the proposed amendments. Further, the proposed amendments have not been subject to meaningful community consultation.

"A community survey conducted for Council in 2009 showed an overwhelming 76% of respondents strongly opposed to 20 or 30 storey buildings in this suburban area. Copies of the results of that survey are available on-line and will be uploaded to our website (www.cramed.org).

"Governments are promoting transport oriented developments ("TOD"), and we support the concept; however, the proposed development is of a scale more appropriate to the CBD. We are also concerned that the proposed development includes an average of more than one car parking space for every unit, and are aware that town planners do not consider the proposed development to be a TOD.

"We are not aware of any traffic studies conducted by Council to assess the impact on traffic of its proposed City Plan amendments. It seems reasonable to assume that 10,000 new residents for Milton would adversely impact traffic on all local roads, including the major arterial routes of Milton Road and Coronation Drive.

"We are aware of public statements that the proposed development is "sustainable". This is inconsistent with Council's requirement that air conditioning be installed so residents are not impacted by road, rail and industrial noise, or odours from nearby production facilities.

"The surrounding suburbs already have small lot housing and multi-unit dwellings. The community accepts that increased densities around the Milton station may be appropriate; however, 20 or 30 storey buildings are not appropriate for this suburban area.

"The absence of clear town planning rules in south east Queensland means that communities are constantly fighting inappropriate developments. The current national interest in population pressure is the culmination of more than a decade of poor planning and lack of community engagement by governments. A survey conducted by the Australian National University released this week showed that 73% of Queenslanders want no further population increases. The current crisis should not be used as an excuse to ram through inappropriate developments that will forever destroy communities across South East Queensland."

A public meeting is being held at Milton State School at 6.30pm Thursday 22nd April to discuss these issues and the proposed Milton Tennis Court Development. Interested community members and media are welcome.

http://cramed.org

http://candobetter.org/node/1957

'Spring Hill Voice' Launches "Dig Deep For Fev" Fund

An alliance of feminists, community groups, Boy Scouts and Girl Guides, Churches, Mosques, Environmentalists, Loggers, Miners, Unionists, Cougars, burlesque performers, pole dancers, the "skimpy bar maid" from Boulder's Recreation Hotel in Kalgoorlie and business groups like AIG have put aside their differences and joined forces to raise much needed cash for poor, stricken battler 'Fev' who is fighting off mean, nasty landlords and loan sharks.

The coalition, called "Dig Deep For Fev", is trying to raise one million dollars to buy one million scratchies for the embattled battler.

Lord Campbell and Premier Blighty have committed to look into whether funds can be appropriated from the Community Gaming Benefit Fund for the cause.

"We are looking at reducing funding for orphanages and animal shelters and diverting it to 'Dig Deep For Fev'," they said in a joint statement.

"For far too long society has let the weak, powerless and poor, like Fev, fall by the wayside. We, as a caring and compassionate State, owe a duty to those who come here and find they are down on their luck to give generously and ask nothing in return."

Donations of cash or scratchies can be made at the executive annexe in George Street or City Hall until the end of this week.

'Fev' was not available for comment, and calls to his luxury mansion in one of Brisbane's wankier suburbs went unanswered, but we should leave him alone and not bother him. He probably has other things on his mind.

Please, stop being so self-centred and give us your money for this worthy cause. We cracked the piggy bank and got the ball rolling with 15 cents.

Over to you, Queenslanders.

Dow Throws A Dismal Party, Few Attend:

The Yes Men Media Release [19/4/10]

Underattended "Run for Water" plagued by death, zombies, and dozens of "Dow spokesmen"; truth seems to run free

Brooklyn, NY -- Bucolic Prospect park in Brooklyn, NY played host to a bizarre spectacle on Sunday, as a dramatically under-attended Dow-sponsored "Run for Water" was infiltrated and turned upside down by hundreds of furious activists, including a hundred dressed as Dow spokespeople.

New Yorkers who came to the park expecting a light run followed by a free concert found themselves unwitting extras in a macabre and chaotic scene as runners keeled over dead, Dow-branded grim reapers chased participants, and a hundred fake Dow representatives harangued other protesters and and handed out literature that explained Dow's greenwashing program in frank detail.

The actions called attention to Dow's toxic legacy in places like India (the Bhopal Catastrophe), Vietnam (Agent Orange) and Midland Michigan (Dioxin Contamination), and to the absurdity of a company with serious water issues all over the world sponsoring the Live Earth Run For Water.

After race cancellations in London, Milan, Berlin, and Sweden, on-site Dow brand managers were in damage-control mode. But their job was made harder by the hundred fake "Dow" spokespeople who loudly but clumsily proclaimed Dow's position ("Our race! Our earth!" and "Run for water! Run for your life!"), spoke with many runners, screamed at the other protesters, passed out beautifully-produced literature, and all in all looked a whole lot better than the real Dow reps, who seemed eager to make themselves scarce.

"I don't know what's going on here," said Tracey Von Sloop, a Queens woman who attended the race. "All I know is these people are both crazy, and Dow is f*ing sick. I'm outta here."

The event was the latest blow to Dow's greenwashing efforts, the most visible element of which is the "Human Element" multi-media advertising campaign, one of the most expensive, and successful, marketing efforts in recent history. It even won an "Effie Award" for the most effective corporate advertising campaign in North America.

"Effective," perhaps -- but also completely misleading. To name just a few examples of Dow's water-related issues: Dow refuses to clean up the groundwater in Bhopal, India, site of the largest industrial disaster in human history, committed by Dow's fully-owned subsidiary, Union Carbide. As a result, children continue to be born there with debilitating birth defects. Dow has also dumped hundreds of millions of pounds of toxic chemical byproducts into wetlands of Louisiana, and has even poisoned its own backyard, leaving record levels of dioxins downriver from its global headquarters in Midland, Michigan.

"We thought it must be a joke when we first heard that Dow Chemical Company was sponsoring a run for clean water," said Yes Woman Whitney Black. "Sadly, it was not. One of the world's worst polluters trying to greenwash its image instead of taking responsibility for drinking water and ecosystems it has poisoned around the world? What an awfully unfunny way to start off Earth Week. We decided the event needed a little comic relief."

Irony was piled on irony throughout the race, which Dow absurdly claimed was going to be "the largest solutions-based initiative aimed at solving the global water crisis in history. At one point, organizers were caught on tape dramatically throwing out excess water left over because of an embarrassingly low turnout.

Groups organizing the action included the Center for Health, Environment and Justice, the International Campaign for Justice in Bhopal, New York Whale and Dolphin Action League, the Vietnam Agent Orange Relief and Responsibility Campaign, the Wetlands Activism Collective, Global Justice for Animals and the Environment, Kids For A Better Future, The Yes Men, and hundreds of assorted volunteers, activists and mischief makers.

Climate Change Is So Serious, Nothing's Happening At The Major Economies Forum

"... What's he building
In there? ... I'll tell you one thing
He's not building a playhouse for
The children ... "

'What's he building?', Tom Waits [1999]

Reuters reports:

Where Are The Queensland Greens?

Sylvia Hale MLC: Greens To Introduce Human Rights Act For NSW:

Greens Media Release [19/4/10]

Why do the Queensland Greens seem to be missing in action on so many important issues when their national and state counterparts always have something to say?

The Greens candidate for the Senate in Queensland in the upcoming Federal Election is married to a Murdoch man (and Murdoch has made his views on a Human Rights Act crystal clear).

Make of this what you will, but for a long time now we've been very concerned about the deafening silence coming from the Queensland Greens across a whole range of issues.

Digital Detox Week

April 19 -25, 2010

Take a Zen Moment
Tomorrow morning, try a little self discipline before you switch on your computer. For 60 seconds, look at the reflection of yourself in the dark, empty screen. Meditate on your relationship with this box. What is it really all about?

"A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead

Broadbeach [17/4/10]

Spot the life amidst the sea of concrete?

But wait, there's more concrete on its way to replace the little Volare restaurant - like there aren't enough empty apartments on the Gold Coast already! (And evidently there aren't enough gaming machines either, because they were setting up for some kind of pokie machine trade show at the Convention Centre.)

Book Of Towns

"… And all the husbands, all the sons, all the lovers gone,
They make no difference,
No difference in the end.
Still hear the woman say,
"Your daddy died a hero, in the name of god and man" …"

'Mother's Pride', George Michael [1991]

Cash-For-Access Spotlight On Abbott's Fundraisers:

Greens Media Release [17/4/10]

Greens MP and donations spokesperson Lee Rhiannon has called on Opposition Leader Tony Abbott to publicly back political funding reform and commit to clean up his political donation disclosure mistakes in order to remove the cash-for-access spotlight now centred on the Liberal Party. (The Age and SMH http://bit.ly/aGzBp3)

Greens Democracy4sale research undertaken by Norman Thompson has revealed that the Warringah Club, a fund raising body named after Mr Abbott's electorate, failed to lodge some of the disclosure forms that legally should have been lodged between 2007-8.

Ms Rhiannon said, "Mr Abbott needs to urgently clean up his house,break his silence on the issue and commit to reforming federal funding and disclosure laws.

"For the Warringah Club to not disclose two years in a row, having been pursued by the Crown Solicitor the first time, suggests there is something to hide, or at best there has been a flagrant disregard for accountability.

"Mr Abbott's campaign has been kept afloat by the usual mixed bag of donors to the major parties, from wealthy individuals to property, finance, clubs, pubs and pharmaceutical interests keen to part with large sums of money.

"The cash-for-access spotlight is now on the Liberals. From 2007 to2009 when Mr Abbott was Health Minister in the Howard government much of the $250,000 he raised was from prominent health industry contacts.

"In 2007 Mr Abbott accepted more than $50,000 from pharmaceutical lobby, Medicines Australia.

"Who knows what goes on when these fundraisers are held and the cheques are handed over but it is not a good look particularly for an aspiring prime minister.

"Mr Abbott should immediately call a halt to the exclusive meetings with company heads that are offered in return for donations to the Liberal Party.

"Former NSW Liberal leader Nick Greiner's explanation in the promotional material states that these events are 'increasingly becoming the centre of policy discussion in the political process'. 'The average voter, without cash to burn, is not enjoying the same level of access to prominent Opposition leaders. These large donations potentially create a conflict of interest for the politician and the community perception is that it is buying influence.

"The Greens research illustrates that Liberal heavyweights like Mr Abbott and Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey are capable fundraisers, bagging cheques in impressive quantities by opening their doors to big business.

"In the rush to bank the cheques and to hold even more fundraisers it looks like Mr Abbott and Mr Hockey have forgotten about the public's interest in electoral funding reform," Ms Rhiannon said.

Government Sabotage Community Group?

The Gold Coast Public Transport Alliance report [24/3/10]:

Why are all these recent (often rushed) Government projects (and approvals of projects) shrouded in secrecy, commercial-in-confidence, spin, intense marketing and media management, shadowy finance and foreign companies?

Where is the genuine community consultation, transparency and accountability? For instance, if the Light Rail Project really is the best solution to the Gold Coast's public transport woes, why is it necessary to engage in these shenanigans?

Perhaps the Government should be looking at either replicating the former train track or completing the existing one from Varsity Lakes to the border?

And if the Government were really serious about getting South East Queenslanders out of their cars, they'd ditch the Go Card, make all public transport free, and put on as many extra services as needed.

Bear in mind the media we currently rely on (i.e. Murdoch papers and ABC local radio) are part of the problem.

True Food Network News [16/4/10]

Revolutionary Socialist Party Announces Campaign Against Kevin Rudd in the seat of Griffith

The Revolutionary Socialist Party will be running Hamish Chitts against Kevin Rudd in the seat of Griffith for the next federal elections.

Many young and working people in this country are fed up with Labor and Liberal, and the parliamentary system that guarantees the privileges of the corporate rich and perpetuates social inequality and discrimination.

No War! No Racism!

The Revolutionary Socialist Party believe that we need to bring working people of all colours together in solidarity and unite against social injustice and prejudice. The RSP advocates:

For a public-owned, democratic & ecologically sustainable economy

The Revolutionary Socialist Party stands for fundamental social change.

We consider that the problems of inequality, discrimination and ecological destruction, can only be addressed by making fundamental changes to the way the Australian and global economies are organised.

Most importantly decision making has to be put in the hands of ordinary working people and taken away from the corporate rich who presently control the economy and governments. Venezuela's 21st Century socialism provides an example of how this can be done and how it can benefit the great majority of people - who have nothing to gain from the growing wealth of a shrinking number of super wealthy international corporations. This includes the Australian corporations that try to convince us to "buy Australian" and make them wealthier.

The Revolutionary Socialists believe that working people must unite and fight to build their own movements and organisations and construct this radically different form of government and society - a socialism of the 21st Century.

* Against racism! Against imperialist war!
* For solidarity between all working people, of all nations!
* Working people keep the country running, working people should run the country!

PM Uses Anti-Social Networking Site To Prove He's Not A Robot

"... Of flesh and blood I'm made ..."

'Human', The Human League [1986]

With all the free publicity Frottager's getting from Australia's robotic politicians lately, it's almost as if you know who owns it

(or wants to own it!)

The PM has taken to anti-social networking site Frottager to allay growing concerns he is a robot.

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Calling me a robot does not compute. CRud," he frottaged at 6.49am.

But spokesdoggie for the Poodle Liberation Organisation (P.L.O.), Pouffeney, says the PM's recent frottage on Frottager, and subsequent appearances in the media is even more evidence he is a robot.

"Only a robot could be so persistently oblivious to the prevailing mood of the Australian electorate," he said.

"In addition, his ongoing dog analogies are incredibly offensive to the P.L.O."

Charles Bridge in Prague is similar to other romantic and beautiful places around the world where the Australian elite go for their holidays, or to live after they have made a lot of money trashing our environment, constructing architectural monstrosities and enacting draconian legislation.

The PM joins a burgeoning number of celebrities and politicians who have used the anti-social networking site Frottager to prove they are not robots, by broadcasting significant life events no-one is interested in.

Pouffeney: "Deeply offended"

Spokesdoggie for the Poodle Liberation Organisation (P.L.O.), Pouffeney, says he is "deeply offended" the Prime Minister has compared a year working in politics with that of a "dog year".

The PM made no apologies in terms of cliches during a radio interview this morning.

"Can I just say that frankly, you know something, my staff and I really work like dogs," he said.

The PM said that although it would probably take exactly the same amount of effort to do the absolute best for the country, it was better to work on wrongity.

"I make no apology whatsoever for making sure we have plenty of spin, cliches, footage of me sitting on hospital beds and neoliberal talking points to deliver to Australians every day," he said.

"Can you ask me a question that hasn't been vetted by my handlers? No. Can I ask myself a question? Yes."

But Pouffeney says the P.L.O. dismiss the PM's "dog year" analogy.

"Dogs are mans best friend and we reject any notion we are anything like political staffers," he said.

"Unlike the PM, his ministers and his staff, members of the P.L.O. are affectionate, have little hearts that beat and warm blood coursing through their veins."

Pouffeney accused the PM, his ministers and his staff of being robots.

"They certainly aren't human, and to be quite honest, I think Australia would be better off if Jasper and Abby were running the country," he said.

Are you sick and tired of not getting enough media spin?
	I prefer cats over dogs
	I'm voting for The Greens
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ATSB Releases Preliminary Marine Safety Investigation Report - Grounding Of Shen Neng 1

At 1705 on 3 April 2010, Shen Neng 1 grounded at Douglas Shoal, about 50 miles2 north of the entrance to the port of Gladstone, Queensland.

The ship had departed Gladstone at 1054 that day after loading a full cargo of coal destined for Bayuquan, China. The ship's hull was seriously damaged by the grounding and a number of water ballast tanks and at least one fuel oil tank were breached resulting in pollution. Sea water also entered the engine room. Salvors boarded the ship on 4 April. The ship was refloated on 12 April and towed to a location off Great Keppel Island.

The ATSB investigation is continuing.

Download final report.

Bits And Pieces From The Ethical Consumer Guide April Update

Beach Stone Curlew

Tree Killers: State Government demonstrates first rule of development south of Seaworld

No sign on this. Bike path? Another dunny?

A sign of things to come ...

Chief Blighty Gauges Gullibility And Distractability Of Queenslanders

Blighty: "Look over there - a baby rabbit!"

The Chief Blighty has used anti-social networking site Frottager to gauge the gullibility and distractability of Queenslanders - but only South East Queenslanders.

The Frottagersphere was in a frenzy after she asked Queenslanders to "look over there - a baby rabbit!"

The Chief Blighty ran the baby rabbit past Bowen Hills before an independent MP introduced his privates in Parliament.

"I'm wondering if you can tell that my 140 media advisors have been up all night working on this baby rabbit idea to distract you from coal carriers destroying the Barrier Reef, nurses not getting paid, and my blind support of the Prime Minister's proposal to cut the heart out of the public health system?"

Within 20 minutes , Frottager was abuzz.

“Could we have some democracy please?" wrote dipshit.

“Yes. Democracy would be a novel idea!” wrote gumby.

“I agree, Democracy would be awesome. Experienced it briefly in NSW and Perth where they have Upper Houses and more than one newspaper," wrote beppo the clown.

“Time for some democracy Blighty. At least in Southeast Queensland. Those pointy one nation voters elsewhere can go to hell,” wrote George Street Squatter.

However, some Frottagers weren't so sure.

“No No No to democracy. What will I do with my lanyard collection?” wrote Big Penis.

“No! No democracy. I won't be able to wear my birkenstocks and rectangular framed eyeglasses anymore” Fukwit.

“We don't want democracy. We wouldn't know what to do with it,” wrote vinegar tits.

Palm Island, 1957

From 'How To Make Trouble And Influence People: Pranks, Hoaxes, Graffiti & Political Mischief-Making From Across Australia by Iain McIntyre [2009]:

Brisbane will be a much better place if smoking is banned in the Queen Street Mall

Brisbane residents woke to the shocking news today that Council is considering a smoking ban for the Queen Street Mall.

Many couldn't get out of bed and some parents kept their children home from school.

"This announcement just came out of the blue and has really hit me hard," said one resident who was recovering at the Royal Brisbane Hospital.

"I forgot to put on any pants when I went to town today," said another.

A Council spokesman apologised to all Brisbane residents for the distress caused by the announcement.

Tell us what you think: Should smoking be banned in the Queen Street Mall?

10 comments so far ...

I am in shock and don't think I will ever recover.

Mr Nervous | West End - April 14, 2010, 8.00 am

What a loser you are Mr Nervous. I hate smokers - cretins, the lot of them - what a filthy habit - unlike traffic tunnels and traffic bridges, which are engineering marvels and create no pollution whatsoever. In fact the emissions from the Clem 7 smell like french flowers talcum powder, and the Go-Between Bridge will make West End smell a hell of a lot better than it does now.

Murdoch Reader | Albion - April 14, 2010, 8:45 am

Round up the smokers and shoot them at dawn. They are responsible for everything, especially the fact the South East Queensland media never reports any real news from Council Meetings and Parliament House.

Pea Brain | Teneriffe - April 14, 2010, 9.15 am

Hmmmm. Must be a slow news day. Good work!

Media Monitor | Peel Street - April 14, 2010, 10.10 am

I encourage all Brisbane residents to write to the Lord Mayor and tell him he must enforce this ban immediately.

Oh yes. And I forgot to mention that I am insane.

Bo Gus | West Chermside - April 14, 2010, 10.30 am

Media Monitor, I have to disagree with you on that. Who do you think you are?

BTW. Can you pick up some milk on your way home?

LNP ISP | City - April 14, 2010, 10.45 am

What if President Obama wants to visit the Queen Street Mall? Is the Lord Mayor going to slap a fine on him if he happens to light up? Well?

American Fan | Fortitude Valley - April 14, 2010, 11.05 am

I think you are missing the point "American Fan". Why don't you go chew on a hot dog?

Bo Gus | West Chermside - April 14, 2010, 11.30 am

Why don't you blow it out your **** "Bo Gus"?

American Fan | Fortitude Valley - April 14, 2010, 11.05 am

I agree with "Pea Brain". Round them all up - and the pedestrians and people who travel on public transport too - who do they think they are?

Communists, the lot of them!

Journo | City - April 14, 2010, 11.30 am

Ask Your Local MP To Work For An Immediate Levy On Climate Polluters

From The Australian Greens [13/4/10]:

Reduced Blood-Alcohol Limit Laws

News from Fiona Simpson MP [9/4/10]:

Free Market Tipped To Save Australia's Wildlife From The Free Market: Ponds Institute

"Children are innocent
A teenager's fucked up in the head
Adults are even more fucked up
And elderlies are like children
Will there be another race
To come along and take over for us?
Maybe martians could do
Better than we've done …"

'Pets', Porno for Pyros (1993)

"I'd rather live on a balcony, or in a backyard the size of a postage stamp than on boundless plains to share": Mr Bounce

Australia's "business as usual" focus on climate change and land clearing, has prompted calls for a new approach to save our native animals.

A soon-to-be-released report from the Ponds Institute's, Let's Face It, The Forests Are Doomed Unit, says if Australians want to keep clearing land for the purposes of unsustainable housing developments, roads or logging for woodchips, they should consider keeping a native animal as a family pet, rather than a pouffeney or a brutus.

"Ze free market vill save Australia's vildlife from ze free market," said the report's author, Professor Panic.

Spokesanimal for the Society of Native Fauna For A Dollar Value, Not Conservation, Education and Regulation, Mr Bounce, agreed.

"This dumb fuck idea reminds me of those chocolate bilbys you see in the shops at easter time, and how they have raised incredible awareness in the community about the plight of native wildlife," he said.

"Oh man, I'd give anything to be a sugar glider so that I could go and live with a trailer park trash family in the United States."

Mr Bounce said that he and other members of the society wouldn't mind participating in proposed selective breeding programs in order to have some of their more antisocial behaviours bred out.

"I was talking to Mr Butcherbird the other day, and he said that every morning he wakes up, looks in the mirror and wishes he could change," he said.

"I'd rather be in a gilded cage than frolicking in tree canopies": Mr Butcherbird

Pollution Price Needed Now For Move To Clean Economy

ACF Media Release [13/4/10]

The Australian Conservation Foundation today called on Government to end the political stalemate over climate change by immediately putting a price on carbon pollution.

“A price on pollution is essential to move to a clean energy economy and start creating hundreds of thousands of jobs,” said ACF Campaigns Director Denise Boyd.

“An immediate two-year levy on pollution would end the uncertainty around climate legislation that is holding back clean energy investment and job creation.

“A two-year levy, similar to what has been proposed by Professor Ross Garnaut and the Greens, would mean a start to the business of cutting Australia’s emissions while the design of the emissions trading scheme is strengthened.”

Last year ACF called on the Senate not to pass the carbon pollution reduction scheme (CPRS) unless it was significantly strengthened.

“Debate on climate change laws must move on from political point scoring to amendments that strengthen the scheme,” Ms Boyd said.

Worldwide investment in clean energy totalled US$162 billion in 2009, but only US$1 billion of this investment was in Australia. We were ranked 14th for clean energy investment out of the G20 countries, behind Turkey, Mexico, Canada and others. (Source: Pew Charitable Trusts)

“The smart thing to do is to prepare Australia’s economy now for a greater slice of the clean energy investment pie,” Ms Boyd said.

“Putting a price on pollution is a crucial step.

“ACF urges all Senators to find a way through the current deadlock on the CPRS and pass laws for a strong price on pollution this year.”

Churches Must Not Be Allowed To Sabotage Ethics Lessons

Greens Media Release [13/4/10]

Moves by the Sydney Anglican church hierarchy to interfere with the development of an ethics-based alternative to religious instruction in public schools could severely disadvantage children from non-believing families, according to Greens NSW MP John Kaye (SMH, Tuesday 13 April 2010, p 1, http://bit.ly/smh100413).

Dr Kaye said:

"For 130 years organised religion has exercised absolute domination over one hour a week of public school time.

"Children from families that do not support a particular creed or prefer to arrange their own religious instruction have been forced to waste an hour of their valuable school week.

"The ethics-based alternative is a sensible plan to allow these students to use the school time profitably.

"This has nothing to do with the Anglicans, Catholics or any other religious group. They remain free to attract students and instruct then as they have always done.

"The ethics based classes are absolutely none of their business.

"Kristina Keneally should show she is the premier for all NSW households, including the atheists, agnostics and those that reject organised religion.

"She should not allow the religious leaders to sabotage the ethics-based course.

"If the Sydney Anglicans or other creeds are worried about losing students then they should look to what they are offering and how they teach it.

"Last year Education Minister Verity Firth sensibly supported a pilot program being developed by the St James Ethics Centre to offer a secular alternative instead of the students watching videos, playing games or wasting time.

"The Keneally government must stand up to Archbishop Peter Jensen and prelates and their insecurity and allow the trial to go ahead without hostile interference," Dr Kaye said.

Hunter Coal Health Study Must Be Broad, Not Just Cluster Study

Greens Media Release [13/4/10]

Greens MP and health spokesperson Lee Rhiannon says the Premier must initiate a far broader health study than solely the Singleton cancer cluster study just announced.

The Greens are calling on the government to launch a comprehensive population health study into the cumulative impacts of the Hunter's two largest industries, coal and power, examining a wide range of possible health effects (SMH, page 5,http://tiny.cc/d7to1).

"Focusing on just one suspected cancer cluster is akin to a GP examining a person's finger when a person presents complaining of feeling ill," Ms Rhiannon said.

"The possible cancer cluster at Singleton warrants investigation, but Premier Kristina Keneally cannot stop there. The long called for comprehensive health study into the impacts of the coal and power industries must start now.

"The danger of the Premier relying on the Singleton cancer cluster study alone is that an inconclusive finding will result because of the small number of people involved.

"A cynic might say that Ms Keneally has announced the cluster study in the hope that an inconclusive finding can then be used to silence her critics raising the alarm about possible links between coal and ill-health.

"A much broader and long term health study is needed, into both morbidity and mortality impacts.

"Suspected health impacts of the coal and power industries include increased asthma and respiratory illnesses, developmental delay in children, reduced life expectancy and higher rates of a range of cancers.

"Kristina Keneally, while at the helm of NSW Planning, approved many of the new and expanded coal mines now under suspicion for harming people's health.

"The Premier owes it to coal communities in the Upper Hunter to launch a comprehensive population health study into the impact of coal mining and power stations," Ms Rhiannon said.

Cliches And Botox Will "Iron Out The Wrinkles": Blighty

Just relax sister! The private health industry and insurers are!

Well money can't buy me love, but The Chief Blighty says she likes the idea of the Prime Minister shooting blanks.

"I heard something about the PM shooting off some blanks when my Premierly colleagues and I were on a phone hook up on the blower, thrashing out how we're going to get away with ripping the heart out of the public health system," she said.

"We were speculating why no-one's asking the PM any hard questions while he's running around having tea for two, pitching his surgical strike with blunt riders."

The Chief Blighty went on to say that fronting the media in construction helmets and fluoresent vests was not always what people might have thought it was cracked up to be, but she was confident cliches and botox would "iron out all the wrinkles".

"My female robotrons in the Labor Party agree the citizenry prefer silver bullets, scope for agreement and are too stupid to notice weirdly incongruous facial expressions and spin," she said.

"In terms of collision courses and testing times, how else can you speak for social mobility and slipping through the cracks as you demonise public schools and teachers? Or question video footage of an obvious war crime?"

The Chief Blighty went on to explain that Queensland was in the midst of a resources boom.

"It's a free for all, so please do come and pollute our waters," she added, smilingly. Which was weird and spooky.

Brisbane [12/4/10]

Beauty in the City Botanic Gardens:

The Brisbane River is brown:

Eating Big Macs and Tuna is unsustainable, Fortitude Valley:

Coal, Economic Growth And The Free Market Are Australia's Future: Wong

One audience member asked Senator Wong whether the Rudd Government had considered an advertising campaign similar to that of the "Grim Reaper" AIDS campaign of the 1980s, to impress upon Australians the urgent need to act on climate change

Federal Minister for Climate Change, Senator Penny Wong outlined the Rudd Government's policies on climate change to a full house at the Gardens Theatre, QUT this morning [12/4/10].

According to Senator Wong, the Rudd Government's strategy incorporates: direct investment in energy efficiency, direct funding into research and development (i.e. carbon capture and storage, solar flagships program, green car innovation fund), massive expansion in clean energy investment based on increased investment in the renewable energy target and the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme (CPRS).

Senator Wong referred to the "unavoidable truth" that "climate change is real and we have to do something about it", and discussed the importance of adaptation, especially in coastal areas.

"Even with strong emissions reduction action, the opportunity to avoid climate change altogether has passed," she said.

"A very sobering thought, a startling sobering fact that those of us here today, have lost the opportunity to avoid climate change. We have lost that. These generations no longer have the opportunity to pass on."

Yet Senator Wong maintained that any alternative to an economic incentive to pollute less, lets polluters off scot free.

The Senator took a number of questions from the audience, which thankfully did not include the usual sceptic fruitloop rants.

Responding to a question regarding the Rudd Government's position on fourth generation nuclear power, she said that it would be more sensible for Australia to develop renewable energy, rather than investing in another form of energy, which would take a long lead time in public investment before it becomes viable.

Senator Wong went on to explain that:

One audience member asked Senator Wong whether the government had considered an advertising campaign similar to that of the "Grim Reaper" AIDS campaign of the 1980s, to impress upon Australians the urgent need to act on climate change.

He also said he was pleased to hear the Senator acknowledge the gravity of the climate emergency, but perplexed by the government's inaction, given the looming crisis.

Before taking a predictable swipe at The Greens, the Senator defended the Rudd Government's 5% emissions target as "a milestone on the road to greater emissions reduction."

A couple of audience members posited the possibility of regulatory options, particularly in the face of possible future economic upheaval.

"Economic growth is an imperative," said Senator Wong.

"Whilst we grow, we change our economy for the better, to make it more competitive and so that it contributes less to climate change."

A later question referred to a 2007 United States Supreme Court decision, which established EPA standards relating to the carbon emissions of all coal fired power stations.

According to the Senator, the regulatory approach of such a national environmental protection measure would cost more than a market approach.

"You have to change the profit incentive. You have to stop it being so cheap to pollute and you have to make it cheaper to invest in cleaner energy. And no amount of government grant program alone is going to fix that. You have to go for a policy that fundamentally says that if you pollute, there is a price," she said.

The Senator also said that solar power couldn't be rolled out across the nation because we don't have the capacity.

Senator Wong will attend the Major Economies Forum in Washington at the end of this week, where she hopes that further agreement on the Copenhagen Climate Accord can be "operationalised and implemented".

Overworked Air Dancer Collapses On Job, Again!

Helensvale Zupps airdancer protesting deflated car-market by acting out Street Theatre performance of "Total Market Flop" [10/4/10]

Media And Research Institutes Reinforce Status Quo: Shock

This week's ideological bombshell (Gitty Images)

Could it be true that no research into discrepancies in pay rates between men and women, or other equity issues, is currently being undertaken by Australian academics?

A recent study from the Ponds Institute's, Clairol, Schwarzkopf and Other Commercial Hair Dyes, Internet Dating and Pointless Talking Points Unit has made the shocking discovery that the media and research institutes are frantically pushing agendas that reinforce the status quo, to the detriment of progressing useful ideas.

Based on a survey undertaken by Professor Panic, the study found that many women were gold diggers but couldn't explain why.

"You might ask me vot iz ze point of a study zat cannot explain vy a phenomenon iz occuring?" he said.

"And my anser to you vould be, vell, correlation may not be cauzation, but zo vot? Ve don't vant to challenge the dominant paradigm or make anyvone veel uncomvortable - unless ov course zey are a voman! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Professor Panic said the media and research units such as the Ponds Institute had a very healthy relationship, and the way they collaborated to promote backward, sexist stereotypes meant the future for gender relationships in Australia looked very bright.

"Take ze way ze Gold Coast media portrayed zat young prosecutor last veek, focuzing on her hair colour and publishing a voto ov her leaning againzst a pylon - a pose eerily reminszent ov a flashback szene featuring ze character ov Carolyn Polhemus in ze movie 'Prezumed Innocent'," he said.

"And ve all know vot zat movie vos all about don't ve? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Beacons of the feminist movement and outspoken champions of womens rights and equality include, United States secretary of state Hillary Clinton, Australian Governor-General Quentin Bryce, Westpac boss Gail Kelly, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and half the female MPs in the House of Representatives.

Australia's Deputy Prime Minister has red hair.

Don’t Use Asylum Seekers As Political Footballs

From Amnesty International [9/4/10]:

Harvey Norman vs 'The Female Eunuch'

Singing Currawong, Labrador [9/4/10]

Call For Labor Party Branches To Reject Rudd's Closed Door Refugee Policy: Greens Media Release [10/4/10]

Greens NSW MP and senate candidate Lee Rhiannon has urged Labor Party branches and human rights groups to pressure Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to reinstate the processing of refugees from Sri Lanka and Afghanistan.

"Federal Labor's inhumane policy on refugees needs to be quickly overturned and public pressure will be a key to achieving this," Ms Rhiannon said.

"Public outcry about Labor's new refugee policy will be the key to giving the Prime Minister the backbone to stand up to the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott's dog-whistle tactics on asylum-seekers.

"The Greens are urging people to lobby the Rudd government to bring asylum-seekers to the Australian mainland, where they can be processed quickly, fairly and humanely.

"There is widespread community concern about the Prime Minister's decision on refugees.

"I am aware that many Labor members are deeply distressed by their party's changed approach.

"The new policy effectively denies asylum seekers from Afghanistan and Sri Lanka a visa of any type.

"This federal Labor policy is on par with the Howard government's temporary protection visa.

"The Greens support an increase to Australia's small humanitarian asylum seeker intake along with increased efforts to fulfill our obligations as a signatory to the UN Refugee Convention

"Public opinion will be critical to overturning Rudd's refugee policy and Labor Party branch members can play a key role by passing motions calling for a humanitarian approach to be restored.

"The new Labor refugee policy breaches their pre-election promise to process 90 per cent of arrivals within 90 days of arrival.

"It is troubling that the Prime Minister is using the false argument that 'changing circumstances' in Sri Lanka and Afghanistan justifies his policy change.

"The way for Labor to take on opposition leader Tony Abbott on this issue is to increase Australia's small refugee intake and explain our international treaty obligations, not cave in to his anti-asylum-seeker rhetoric," Ms Rhiannon said.

Gillard And Firth Drive Teachers To NAPLAN Test Ban:

Greens Media Release [9/4/10]

The failure of both state and federal governments to stop the publication of school league tables has left teachers with little choice but to refuse to administer the NAPLAN tests, according to Greens NSW MP John Kaye.

Dr Kaye said:

"Every teacher in NSW has to make a professional judgement about what is best for their students.

"The damage done to schools, students and education by the publication of simplistic and misleading comparisons far outweighs any benefit that the tests might create.

"NSW Education Minister Verity Firth and her federal colleague Julia Gillard regular declare their opposition to league tables but have done nothing to prevent their publication.

"The Australian Education Union has put forward a sensible compromise which the federal minister rejected out of hand.

"NSW Minister Verity Firth has chosen to threaten to use scab labour and legal action against teachers rather than working with the profession to improve outcomes for all students.

"Clearly both ministers are more interested in the media they can generate from a stoush with teachers than in school accountability.

"It is extraordinary that two Labor ministers have resorted to teacher bashing rather than recognising the legitimate concerns of professional educators.

"Public school teachers and their union are to be congratulated for their stand against league tables," Dr Kaye said.

Freedom?

Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach

Sorry Jeep, you might think you're so clever playing to notions of freedom and escaping to the great outdoors, but Australia doesn't need any more four-wheel-drives, especially chewing up our wilderness and our beaches.

So why don't you just fuck off?

You are the past, not the future:

Brisbane In Shock As Powerfinger Call It A Day

Iconic Brisbane band Powderfinger displayed their love of their home town by announcing their retirement at a press conference in Sydney this morning [9/4/10].

Despite the devastating news, fans of Australia's best known "old boy dad rock" band consoled themselves with the simultaneously announced news they can fork out for tickets to "The Finger's" farewell concert this September.

It is not known whether the members of Powderfinger will remain in the culturally and creatively vibrant world city of Brisbane as they make their six month adjustment to a well mannered retirement.

Sources close to Brisbane's Lord Mayor have refused to deny speculative rumours that the Airport Link is to be named the "Powderfinger Brisbane Exit".

Meanwhile, here's a little bit of Brisbane music and architectural history relating to the house on the corner of Boundary and Bradley Streets, Spring Hill. ....

Prior to it's "renovation" and the addition of an extra floor, the house was a Spring Hill landmark. As one of the rare examples of Art Moderne domestic architecture in Brisbane's inner city, it reflected architecture's recovery from wartime austerity and the depression.

The house pictured here during and after "renovation" [2005], was built in the late 1940s/early 1950s

According to David McCormack, lead singer of Brisbane super group 'Custard', during the 1990s it was the McCormack family house.

Prior to its "renovation", the house's interior also exhibited characteristics of the Art Moderne style: black and white geometric patterned linoleum; decorative plaster cornices in all rooms and panels of glass brick, one of which cast diffused light across the dark timber stairwell. The decorative door fittings and original bathtub and washstand reflected changes in design layout and the improved living standards of the era. It is likely that at one stage, some of the windows were patterned leadlight.

Back in 2005, a height mark "B. Fanning" was clearly evident on the door jam of one of the upstairs bedrooms, but attempts to verify its authenticity with Mr Fanning proved futile as his management said he was too busy.

In his book 'Pig City - From the Saints to Savage Garden', Andrew Stafford says the house next door (known as the Spring Hill Clubhouse) saw the birth of nearly 20 bands and facilitated the artistic growth of dozens of musicians throughout the 1990s. It was previously an art studio and then a band practice area. Music legends such as Robert Forster were known to have enjoyed an impromptu game of cricket in the backyard.

"I have no idea how the neighbours put up with all that noise day and night," said David McCormack.

Most memorable for David is a party he organised at Spring Hill's 'International Hotel' on Boundary Street. 'Custard' and several other Spring Hill bands (Miami, COW, Frank'n'stein, Biro etc) played too.

"It was a free gig and hundreds of people ended up descending on the poor little 'International Hotel'. It was a great night, but the management of the 'Inter' vowed never to do anything like that again," he said.

"My parents sold those two houses in 1997, when 'Custard' were doing a grueling three month tour of North America. I was very sad when my folks sold those places. It was a magic time and place," said David.

Could this have been Bernard Fanning's height mark?

The Age Of Entitlement Is Over

'The Automatic Earth' reports: [7/4/10]:

Add Your Voice To The Australian Greens Call For A Royal Commission To Investigate The Shen Neng 1 Incident

An email from Senator Bob Brown [8/4/10]:

"The Solution Is Salad Rolls": Tuckshop Ladies

Man bites dog: School tuckshops face a continuing struggle for volunteers and profits

Tuckshop Ladies around the state say the Government's "Smart" brochures, posters, fridge magnets and fearmongering "awareness" television advertising are sapping Queenslanders' will to live.

Head of the peak body representing the Tuckshop Ladies, Mrs Marsh, says she and other Tuckshop Ladies are calling for a moratorium on the production of what she calls "Smart propaganda".

"I know that here at Toxic Waste Dump State High there is a fringe group - "harried parents" - who are so overwhelmed by the disconnect between government spin and actual governance, coupled with baseless vilification and criticism in the media, they have formed an ad hoc cell similar to the Baeder Meinhof Group.

Mrs Marsh would not confirm if Tuckshop Ladies Gone Wild had aligned themselves with "harried parents".

"All I can say is that we sympathise with their concerns - in fact most Queenslanders would probably agree that the lanyard and rectangular eyeglass wearing experts who create all these reports, evaluations, surveys and polls could use a random buttered boston bun in the face.

Mrs Marsh says she has also noticed a worrying trend that any community based collectives appear to be fair game, and has called for a return to simpler days.

"The solution is salad rolls, chocolate milk and a kick in the bum." she said.

"If we were able to apply this solution to the so called journalists, spin doctors, education ministers and free marketeers, P & C's and tuckshops wouldn't have a problem."

Speaking Of Fridge Magnets

Another day, another glossy you know what from the Gold Coast City Council ....

Empty aerosol cans in the recycle bin?

What's The Bet His "Vision" Doesn't Include Truly Visionary Ideas Such As Free Public Transport?

Ahh... Business as usual:

ATSB Investigates Bulk Carrier Grounding: Media Release [6/4/10]

The Australian Transport Safety Bureau (ATSB) is investigating the 3 April grounding of the Chinese flagged bulk carrier Shen Neng 1 at Douglas Shoal off the Queensland coast.

Shen Neng 1 was bound for China before grounding on the reef around 36 nautical miles east of Great Keppel Island. The ship has sustained damage to a number of its water ballast and fuel tanks.

The ATSB sent three marine investigators to Gladstone, Queensland on Sunday to begin the onsite phase of the investigation. The investigators have already interviewed people ashore and collected evidence. They will board the ship today to collect further evidence and interview crew members.

A preliminary ATSB investigation report will be released in around 28 days outlining the facts as known up to that time. A full report will be released after the investigation is completed.

The Australian Maritime Safety Authority (AMSA) has a casualty coordinator on board the ship and a salvor has been appointed to assess the salvage operation. Three tugs and oil spill response vessels are at the scene.

The ATSB will work closely with AMSA, Maritime Safety Queensland, and the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority while conducting the investigation.

The ATSB is the Commonwealth's no-blame transport safety investigation agency. It investigates safety occurrences in the aviation, marine and rail sectors with an emphasis on identifying safety issues and improving safety. The ATSB does not investigate for the purpose of taking administrative, regulatory or criminal action.

Going Vertical: The Shortboard Revolution

We understand David Bradbury's latest documentary recently had a one-off, special Rupert Murdoch sponsored screening at the Gold Coast Arts Centre, as well as an all too brief season at Pacific Fair cinemas at the end of last month.

If any movie ought to have an extended (or at least a standard) season on the Gold Coast, shouldn't it be this one?

Other than a segment on the '7.30 Report' and a review on 'At The Movies' a few weeks ago, why hasn't this Australian documentary been given the local publicity it deserves?

For example, why can't the local or state government include it in one of their free family movie evenings that they have in Gold Coast Parks? Or what about at one of the many Surf Clubs - say, I dunno, Surfers Paradise?

Who's Going To Stop Australia Going Down The Toilet?

"Mum, what does that mean?", Southport [6/4/10]

"Mum, what does that mean?", The Spit [5/4/10]

"Mum, why would tourists want to come to this country?" Broadwater [5/4/10]

"I'd Like It On Top": Captain Cook Statue

If he gets his way, he'll have his head in the clouds!

The Captain Cook Statue on the Bruce Highway in Cairns says if any large monument is going to be placed on top of Mt Bartle Frere it should be him.

"I'd like it on top," he said, at a press conference this morning.

"If any monument is going to be placed on the summit of Queensland's tallest mountain it should be me. Just look at me - what a fabulous sight I would be on high - people would come from all around to gaze in wonder at my symbolism."

The Captain Cook Statue said he could be illuminated with laser beams shooting from his eyes and a taser like current randomly shooting from his outstretched hand.

"The effect would be enhanced if sea shanties were broadcast out of my arse on a loop," he said.

When a journalist had the temerity to ask whether he could keep an eye out for oil slicks on the Great Barrier Reef while he was on top of the mountain, the Captain Cook Statue abruptly ended the press conference.

"Excuse me, I must go and look up pantheist in the dictionary," he said.

How's This For Logic?

From 'The Oil Drum' - "Drumbeat" [3/4/10]:

When Is Southport's "Multi-Purpose Community Centre" Going To Open?

This is Thrower House - Currumbin's youth and community hub.

A plaque onsite says it was officially opened in September 2009 by Mayor Ron Clarke and Cr Daphne McDonald:

“The Evil Scourge Of Terrorism”: Reality, Construction, Remedy

From Noam Chomsky's "Erich Fromm Lecture" [3/4/10]:

Move For Upper House Inquiry Into RSPCA Koala Seizure

Greens Media Release [4/4/10]

Greens MP and animal welfare spokesperson Lee Rhiannon will move for an Upper House inquiry into the role of the RSPCA and the Channel 7 reality show, Animal Rescue, in the seizure of koalas at a Gunnedah wildlife park.

"My office has received a number of complaints about the work of the RSPCA in the Gunnedah area in recent months and this Inquiry is clearly needed," Ms Rhiannon said.

"Concerns have been raised about why Waterways Wildlife Park was raided and the role of Channel 7 which filmed the raid for a lengthy period.

"Two months after staging the raid the RSPCA have determined that no charges will be laid.

"The raid and seizure of the koalas raises many worrying questions about how the RSPCA operates.

"The local independent MP Peter Draper is backing the Greens call for this Inquiry.

"If the Coalition and crossbench MPs support the Greens motion on this issue we will have the numbers to set up the Inquiry in the Upper House.

"The Inquiry is needed to examine all circumstances surrounding the koala seizure, and to investigate the appropriateness of the RSPCA's relationship with a reality television program when staging the raid.

"While the Channel 7 show Animal Rescue undertook many hours of filming during the raid I understand that the show about the seizure of the koalas will now not go to air.

"From my talks with the owners of Waterways Wildlife Park and Gunnedah Councillors Tim Duddy and Leon Miles there is a clear need for this inquiry to also consider the work of the compliance arm of the RSPCA.

"A number of Gunnedah locals have put to me a strong case for this aspect of the RSPCA's work to be shut down and for the police stocksquad to undertake such work.

"This Inquiry would provide an opportunity to investigate the incident at Waterways Wildlife Park and to apply the lessons learnt from this incident to improving animal welfare in rural NSW," Ms Rhiannon said.

There Is No Logical Reason Why Four-Wheel-Drives Should Be On Our Beaches

Main Beach, Easter Sunday, 2010

Currumbin Creek from the Gold Coast Highway Bridge

"If You're Not A Member Of Our Club You're A Nazi, Stalinist, Pol Pot-er": Grand Poo Bah, Flying Spaghetti Monster Club

If there's anywhere an atheist is going to hear and agree with what you say, it'll be in church

Leaders of various Flying Spaghetti Monster clubs have used their Good Friday sermons to take the focus off festering pedophile scandals and a groundswell of public opinion that blind obedience to the authority and dogma of religion is incompatible with an urgent need to address escalating military aggression, equality, social justice and environmental issues.

Today, thousands of Flying Spaghetti Monster devotees crowded into designated places of worship followed by lunch at the local fish and chip shop.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much local seafood on sale because the western way of life (which according to one of the Grand Poo Bahs of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Posse, is based on the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Club) is not sustainable.

Meanwhile, the innately evil non-believers spent the day running around raping, pillaging, starting wars, getting divorced, having abortions and generally committing all of the seven deadly sins.

Today's sermons by the Grand Poo Bahs round off a week of damage control by the Flying Spaghetti Monster Club, which has involved bizarre attempts to reconcile irrational beliefs associated with the teachings of the prosperity gospel and dominionism with ongoing neoliberal government policy.

"If you're not a member of our club you're a Nazi, Stalinist, Pol Pot-er," said one of the Grand Poo Bahs of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Club.

"Australia is the nation of a fair go for all, and that is why we shouldn't have a Human Rights Act," said another.

A Whispering In Our Hearts

From John Pilger's 'A Secret Country' [1992]:

Costume Hire Shop, Red Hill

There's nothing like Australia …

Those Were The Days

When politicians realised substance was more important than spin:

"Free Hospital System" from 'A Documentary History of Queensland' by W. Ross Johnston (1988):